Chapter Seventeen #2
He’d been pulled into this mess, and now, there were going to be serious repercussions.
As someone who had been cheated on, and had his heart broken by a woman who couldn’t be trusted, now, Lewis was in that position.
And.
It.
Sucked.
Because he’d done to some man what his brother had done to him, and he didn’t like it at all.
That was a problem in itself, but add to it that he genuinely liked Duke Maverick, and that Elizabeth was Duke’s sister…
He had a whole slew of issues.
BIG.
ONES.
What he knew was this wasn’t going to end well for any of them. Axelle was bailing on her marriage, and he’d done something to hurt a friend.
Shit.
He was in deep.
At some point, he should have put the brakes on, but the reality was he’d always been in love with Axelle. From the day he saw her in Colombia to the day he walked out of her life to keep her safe, they had always had a connection.
And here it was.
Front.
And.
Center.
As Axelle was in the bathroom, Lewis pulled out his phone, and planned on coming clean.
He began texting Elizabeth.
‘I’m here, and I’ve been on Axelle for a few hours. She’s safe.’
And it wasn’t a lie, but he absolutely left it at that.
What he needed was to talk to Ax, and figure out how they were handling this.
When she replied, he felt like an asshole.
‘I appreciate this, Lewis. Thank you for being a good friend! I owe you one.’
Oh, and now, he really felt like shit. The last thing he wanted was to lose his friend, and for something where Axelle could change her mind and decide that she was staying with Duke.
Now, he was in a pickle.
A bad one.
When she came into the room, he put his phone down on the nightstand, and dropped his arms behind his head. Now, he had to figure this one out.
Only, Axelle went there.
“So who sent you?” she asked, getting back into bed. “Because I didn’t put out the bat signal.”
He laughed.
Oh, well, never let it be said that Axelle wasn’t a CIA spook to her core. She could read a room.
“Your bestie, and mine.”
She wasn’t shocked.
After the conversation she had with Duke, there was no doubt in her mind that he went to his sister. Had they not been related, she would have called Elizabeth to help her work through this.
Only, she knew whose side she’d be on.
Her.
Brother’s.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” she admitted.
He lifted an eyebrow.
“What specifically?” he asked.
Axelle knew what she did, and she wasn’t upset about it. That told her that she knew it was over. She and Duke…this journey between them had run its lifespan.
Like with Jack, she knew when it was time to abort the mission. The last year, she’d been feeling it to her core, and just afraid to tell Duke.
With Lewis showing up, she took that as a sign from the universe to do something about it.
She pointed at her floor.
“This.”
He wanted her to say the words, because he didn’t plan on being accused of planting ideas in her mind. He was already in a whole shitstorm because of what he didn’t stop.
“The house?”
Axelle shook her head, and cuddled against his side. Instinctually, Lewis put his arm around her because it was like old times, and apparently, that feeling never went away.
“I don’t want to do this life anymore. You know, being a wife and mother. My job. Dealing with people. I miss my life before this. I miss my freedom. I haven’t been happy for a long time, Lewis. A very long time.”
He said nothing.
“The last time I was genuinely happy, it was when you and I were a couple, and we came and went for work, and met back in the middle.”
Well, shit.
That sucked.
Because that was the last time he’d been happy, too. Only, he was willing to swallow his loneliness and misery if Axelle was genuinely happy.
That she wasn’t, made him want to jump back in.
Like he’d just done.
“Duke isn’t going to like that, and he isn’t going to like this. You just took me on that highway to Hell, Ax. We broke all kinds of rules.”
She was to the point.
“Uh, Reaper, you could have gotten off of the ride. When I kissed you, you could have aborted mission.”
Yeah, except one thing.
No, he couldn’t.
Why?
Because she was his kryptonite. And now, he had to deal with it and the blowback.
Because he wasn’t going to lie to a friend, at some point, he’d have to come clean to her, and Duke.
And if the man punched him in the face, he’d take it because he’d been wrong. The last thing he wanted to be responsible for was breaking up a marriage. He wasn’t sure he could live with himself.
He cared about Axelle too much.
“What are you planning on doing?” he asked, still not interjecting his thoughts or emotions into this.
Not until he could see what was heading his way.
Axelle was honest.
It was only a matter of time. She knew Duke, and he was done. When she told him that she didn’t want to be a mom, that was his hard line, and she’d crossed it.
Only, she felt how she felt.
That wasn’t something she could change.
“I’m taking the CIA job. I’m going to ask for a divorce from Duke, and move on.
The girls are young, and if I’m going to leave, it has to be before it damages them.
I don’t have it in me, Lewis. I just can’t do it.
I never wanted to be a mom, and I bent to make a man happy.
I shouldn’t have to do that. Duke and I weren’t a perfect fit. ”
Oh, boy.
He wasn’t sure how that was going to go over.
“Is he going to want a divorce?” he asked.
Axelle laughed.
“I would be shocked as shit if the papers aren’t already on their way here. I know him. He’s a dad to his core. He wants a happy family, and now, he knows I’m not the way. I feel bad that I hurt him, and I know that I shouldn’t have done any of this. I need an exit strategy.”
That hung there.
“But you love Duke.”
She stopped him.
“I loved the idea of Duke. He’s a great guy, but he wants a different life than I wanted, and I tried to give it to him to make him stay, Lewis. You can’t make a relationship work if you spend the whole time bending to make a person love you.”
That hung there.
“I didn’t leave because I didn’t love you,” he admitted. “I left because I loved you more than anything in the world. I left to protect you.”
She was honest.
“And I let you leave because again, you can’t make a person stay. I can’t give him what he needs. I HATE this job. I hate having to do paperwork, and not be free to have fun with it. I’m a spook, Lewis. We’re different animals. The CIA offered me a position, and I’m going to take it.”
Well, that was interesting.
Why?
He was about ready to retire to get out of the CIA. When the Hunter situation was done, he was out.
When he went to say something, she touched his face, and made him stare into her eyes.
“Come with me.”
Oh, holy shit.
That was a punch to the solar plexus.
He lifted a brow.
“What?”
She went there.
“Remember when you asked me to retire and come with you? I said no, because I couldn’t. That was a different time. We were different. Come with me, Lewis. Let’s run together, and go back to when we were both happy.”
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Lewis wanted that in the worst way. He’d never stopped loving Axelle George. Even when she became Axelle Maverick. He’d just loved her enough to keep that to himself.
But the truth was the truth.
He’d never moved on when he walked out of her life, and he knew he never would.
“Ax.”
She didn’t say anything, and he was overwhelmed with guilt over leaving her back then. He knew that was why she married the senator, and he knew that had she said yes, they would have had a very different life.
Together.
She was to the point.
“You didn’t destroy my marriage, Lewis. I wouldn’t have slept with you had I believed it wasn’t over. I’m not a cheater. I told you. I know Duke. He’s a dad to his core. He’d rather be a dad than a husband. He’s already moving on.”
That hung there.
Finally, Lewis spoke.
“I need to think about it. I’m stationed in NOLA right now. For the FBI.”
Axelle was staring into his eyes.
“My role won’t kick in for a while yet. I can do most of it stateside—for now.”
Again, he went there.
“I have to talk to Elizabeth first. I broke a big friendship rule here, Ax. She asked me to come here to make sure you were okay. She trusted me. I just fucked her brother’s wife a few times.
I have to own that—even if Duke has decided it’s over.
I’m going to have to face them both, because that’s the man I am.
If he kicks my ass, I earned it. If she punches me in the face, I earned that.
I don’t betray people, and what I did…that’s on me too. ”
She was upset.
“So this wasn’t just fate?” she asked.
He laughed.
“You don’t believe in fate. You say all the time we make our own. You know you have always loved me, and I’ve always loved you. Walking away was hard, but we have to figure this out. We put the cart before the horse by sleeping together, and there will be fallout. We’ll take it, and go from there.”
She needed to know.
“Do you still love me?” she asked.
He stared at her.
“You know I’ve always loved you, Axelle. You know that I’ve never stopped. I also know that you married the senator because I hurt you, and I don’t want to be your rebound guy again.”
She was honest.
“You won’t be my rebound guy because I don’t want to get married again,’ she admitted. “I’ll never do it. I will be with someone because I want to, not because I have to be.”
They were birds of a feather.
He liked having a girl. Just not a commitment.
“I can’t give you an answer until I talk to Elizabeth, and I face down the repercussions of this.
I betrayed one of my friends, who also pays me to do a job.
This might end badly. I can take a punch, and when Duke kicks my ass, I’m not even going to stop him, but I have to come clean. That’s my code.”
She understood.
“I can wait until you talk to them.”
He needed to know.
“Are you really filing for divorce?” he asked. “And I had NOTHING to do with it?”
She tossed him her phone.