Chapter Eighteen
Tuesday Morning
Hotel
Six A.M.
At first, Alex couldn’t remember where he was, and there was the acute pounding in his head to remind him that his previous night involved alcohol. Yeah, he knew that was probably a big mistake on his behalf.
When he was drunk, he didn’t always behave the way he needed to.
Then, it all came back to him.
It was probably the sound of breathing not far from him that clued him in.
Oh, and how he wished this was only the first time he’d awoken from a drunken melee to find himself in bed with a naked person.
Spoiler.
It wasn’t.
In fact, he had more episodes like this, than not, and that was a testament as to how his world was spiraling apart around him.
Carefully, he rolled over, trying not to move the bed, and that’s when he saw the man beside him.
Yep.
That’s pretty much what he’d expected.
Corbin Price, his partner, was naked in bed with him, and he knew for a fact that he’d behaved badly.
Beyond badly.
In the light that was coming through the hotel room windows, he could see his shoulder, and his back. The man was facing away from him, his soft breathing evident.
Across his back, there were healed scars, but they had been vicious.
They were crisscrossing his back, proving that someone, somewhere, somehow, had hurt the man.
Violently.
Oh, well, Alex knew what that felt like.
Been there.
Done that.
His grandfather had been from team ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’, and liked that particular rod a little too much.
When Corbin muttered something in his sleep, Alex held his breath.
It was one word.
‘Will.’
It was his dead husband’s name.
Well, that also didn’t bode well. He was still in bed with another man, and dreaming about his dead husband.
That told Alex one thing.
It was time to abort.
And RUN.
Even after having sex, and hoping that it would change something, it hadn’t. That was evidently clear to the man.
There was no point in making this any worse than it already was. He knew he’d made a scene, acted a fool, and got the man to have mercy sex with him last night.
That was sad.
It was pathetic.
HE.
WAS.
PATHETIC.
The last thing he wanted was the awkwardness of that morning, where he did the walk of shame and Corbin watched him do it.
It was truly over.
Like he’d said last night.
‘It changes nothing.’
That said it all.
The man participated in a ball-draining mercy fuck, and there was nothing here for him.
Despite what he felt, there was no way that this man would ever see him. In a way, he was grateful.
It would make the rest easy.
Because he was leaving.
Slipping out of bed, he prayed to a god that didn’t give two shits about him that he’d let him slip away without Corbin waking up.
This was difficult enough without having to make it some sorry-ass walk of shame.
They’d had sex, and it meant absolutely nothing.
To Corbin.
To Alex, it had been something, but that didn’t matter. He didn’t matter, and that was the bottom line. This had been a brief interlude, a short partnership, and Alex had to let it go. The man in bed was in love with his husband, albeit he was dead.
That was all that mattered.
Alex would never have a place in his life, and he’d never be more than the guy who looked like the dead man—a constant reminder to Corbin of what he lost.
Alex didn’t blame him for not wanting to deal with that. He wouldn’t either, so it was best to bid this disaster adieu.
Pulling on his pants, he zipped up, and finished getting dressed. When he did, he saw the hotel notepad on the nightstand, and he wrote something down.
Then, he slipped into his shoes and quietly headed toward the door.
Glancing back, he stared at the sleeping man, and memorized that moment.
Not because it meant something special, because he’d learned a long time ago, he was nothing important in anyone’s life, but because it had been what cost him his career.
There was no way he could go to work every day and see Corbin and know.
He’d fallen in love for the second time in his life with someone who was just out of his reach.
And it ended badly.
Once more, Alexander Bartlett had fucked up another part of his life.
And now, he’d pay the price.
Again.
* * * The Blackhawk Family * * *
The Same Hotel
Two Floors Above
The Boss’ Room
What she found odd was that she’d yet to hear from Alex or Corbin. She’d sent Corbin a text the previous night for him to do some research, and he’d never checked in.
Oh, she suspected she knew why, too.
Alex.
Call it a hunch, but when the man was left to his own devices, bad things happened. All she could hope was that he wasn’t eyeball deep in something disastrous.
That tended to be how it went down.
As she was getting dressed, ready to head to the morgue to get her day started, her phone chimed.
Gene was beside it, and tossed it to her.
“It’s Alex,” he said, seeing the notification show up on her screen.
She sighed.
“Here we go,” she said, already knowing.
When she opened her phone, she saw the email and her stomach dropped.
Yep.
This was exactly what she’d expected.
‘Director Blackhawk,
I would first like to thank you for the opportunity you gave me all of those years ago to work beneath you in the FBI. It has been an honor and privilege for the last ten years to be part of your team.
In those years, I’ve learned a lot of things, and I’ve dealt with countless situations that helped prepare me for life, so I thank you for that. It has been nothing but special having the years working with a boss who is as good at solving things as she is at leading.
In ways, I’ve been blessed.
In others, I’ve been cursed.
Thank you for always loving me and respecting me not only as an agent on your team, but as a human being. I know it hasn’t been easy, and I’ve burdened you in countless ways. For that, I’m sorry.
Today marks the day where I’m no longer your responsibility or burden.
Today, I’m tendering my resignation. I no longer have the desire or drive to help others when I can’t help myself.
Going forward, I need to focus on finding Alex, since I’ve never really known him.
I’ve known the boy who was damaged, and the lost soul who wandered, but I’ve never known the man.
Today, I have to take this time to figure out who I am.
I’ve made a horrible mistake, and I’ve crossed a line that will make it awkward to be in the same room with my once partner. So, I’m falling on my sword, and I’m leaving. It’s only fair since I made the choice to do something irresponsible.
Please know, Director, that I’ve learned so much from you, and that your compassion and love for the people who work for you has always been what kept me going. Only, I can’t do it anymore. I’m empty and that will affect my ability to be a good agent.
From Alex, your agent, I just want you to know that you’re doing amazing things to help people, and I admire that. From Alex, the man you’ve fought tirelessly to save, I’m grateful. You just can’t save everyone, Elizabeth, and I’m that one.
Thank you for everything,
Alexander Bartlett.
Keep fighting.’
She sighed.
Well, holy shit.
That was a problem in all kinds of ways, and none of them good. She was already running on too small a team, and now, she was losing one of her best agents who had held his own.
At her sigh, Gene knew it wasn’t good.
“He resigned, didn’t he?” he asked.
She nodded.
“He slept with Corbin, and it exploded spectacularly. Why am I not shocked?” she asked, reading the context clues in the message.
Gene clipped his badge to his hip and sighed. Well, someone was going back to the crotch goblin rodeo, part one million.
“I’ll go deal with Corbin,” he said.
Only, she stopped him.
“No, this shitshow is my responsibility. I can’t let Alex quit, and that means talking to Corbin. Alex thinks it’ll be awkward, so I have to see what Corbin says and go from there. I remember when I was just an agent, and chased killers. Now, I’m chasing adults.”
He kissed her on the cheek.
“I mean, you’re good at it.”
She laughed.
“Thanks, Gene. Give me some time. In fact, leave Ivan, and head to the morgue. I’ll meet you guys there. Finish up any research, and we’ll start interviews after I handle this.”
Gene gave her a fist bump.
“On it, Boss,” he said.
As she headed out, she knew what she needed to handle first. It was time to make sure she cleaned up this little mess. It was one of the drawbacks of letting couples or people having sex work together.
Sometimes, it went awry.
Like now.
Outside their door, security was waiting for her, and she clued them in.
“I have to handle some personal things for Corbin and Alex,” she admitted. “Ivan, you’re with me, and Uriel is on Callen and Gene. Transport to the morgue. I’ll catch up.”
No one questioned her.
Instead, Ivan fell into step beside her, and they headed toward the elevator.
“Messy?”
She just laughed.
“Oh, you could say that. Alex slept with Corbin, and now, Alex has turned in his resignation. I can’t lose another investigator.
I’m already sketchy with the quantity we have, and Duke is about to file for divorce.
That’s going to put him off his game. How is it I can have this much personal drama in the workplace? ”
He grinned.
“I mean, you are the drama.”
She stared at him.
“Like it’s not true,” he said, amused. “It’ll all work out.
Alex will be fine. Corbin…he’s the issue.
I’m all about dying on a hill, but I’ve watched him when he’s around Alex.
He definitely likes him. You don’t have sex, as a man, and not be into it.
That’s not how it works. We can’t really fake it. ”
She knew he was right.
As the elevator opened, she headed down the hall toward his room.
“You’re on the door. If you hear a man crying, it’s just me beating his ass.”
Ivan blinked.
“Hear what?” he asked.
Yeah, exactly.
Knocking on the door, Elizabeth waited. When the door opened, Corbin was standing there, and he looked disorientated.