Chapter Nineteen
Damascus
After Seven
Meeting Time
When Wyler woke up that morning, he felt a million times better about the trajectory of the last days of his life. Oh, deep down, he knew he wouldn’t live a long time, but at least he had some peace.
And Ethan did too.
He was actually looking forward to today, since his son was taking on the job of Shaman.
This was a long time coming, and the rez needed a shaman to be here.
If not to help walk in the smoke, at pow-wows, and for celebrations, just to be there for the people who needed to talk.
The spiritual advisor role was important to the Native people, and no one was more qualified to do it than his son.
Ethan was a wise soul, and he would be a good leader. He was compassionate, and he understood pain more than anyone. Today, he would step into his grandfather’s footsteps, and do the Blackhawk name proud.
He could tell.
Wyler felt it to his bones.
When the door to the renovated cabin opened, and out stepped his son, he was dressed in traditional Native attire, and it was in the family colors of turquoise and yellow.
His hair was down, and it was just past his shoulders.
On his finger was the ring that once belonged to Timothy, gifted by the tribe, as a symbol that he was the Shaman.
Tears filled the older man’s eyes.
“Ethan, my boy,” he said, moving toward him to hug him. He enveloped him in his arms and hugged him. “You are your grandfather’s heir,” he said. “I’m so proud of you.”
The man smiled.
“I couldn’t wear a suit,” he said, amused. “I’m happy that granddad’s things fit. Apparently, I’ve put on some weight in my happy married years.”
He laughed.
“Your wife had them tailored for you,” he said. “She slipped them out and back without anyone knowing, but me. She took them to one of the women on the rez, with your dress pants, and had them taken in. Eat something.”
That touched him in ways that he couldn’t even articulate. His wife was the driving force behind the Blackhawks, and each and every one of them was blessed.
In her day of countless hours, so much work, and the stress that could break a mere mortal, she held up and still had time to take an active role in their lives.
“I’m a lucky man,” he admitted. “Marrying her was the best thing I ever did.”
Wyler agreed.
The Raven was a blessing to their tribe, and to their family.
“Shall we walk?” Wyler asked. “You have your meeting,” he admitted.
Ethan linked his arm with his father’s, and they began the short walk to the council house. As they entered the woods, Raphael was right behind him.
“Are you excited?” Wyler asked.
Ethan was honest.
“Scared, mostly. I’ve got the demons in my head telling me I can’t possibly live up to the great Timothy Blackhawk. He is big shoes to fill.”
Wyler was honest.
“You’re a better man than he was, or I was. I think you should just be you. Look at the world you created. You married a good woman, and had more kids than most Natives.”
Ethan laughed.
“I had two. We adopted the rest. CJ and Charlie are me.”
He stopped him.
“No, Ethan, they are all you. You’ve put yourself into each one of them.
Willa is just as much yours as she was her biological parents.
Then, look at all the children that you touch every day with your kindness and love.
Takoda loves you so much that you can’t tell if Callen or you are his real father.
Plus look at Bethe. I saw you pushing her on the swing, and playing with her.
The strength of a good man is not found in his words of wisdom, but his acts of love to the next generation. ”
Ethan smiled.
“I do love kids. Mom said I have another coming,” he admitted. “When I spoke to her in the smoke. She said it’s a little boy, and I’m going to name him Kennedy.”
Wyler was honest.
“I hope I get to meet and hold him. As one of my last things, I hope I meet your child.”
Ethan held his hand. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done that, especially as a child, but the bottom line was, he was his father’s son.
Good and bad.
“You’ll make it. I have faith. I can feel it in the air, and in the smoke. You’ve got a while yet, old man.”
He squeezed his hand, as they exited the trees, and made their way to the council house. Inside, they saw the portrait of Timothy, and Wyler kissed it, like he did every time he came in here.
“Miss you, Dad,” he said.
Ethan did the same thing.
“I miss you, you old, meddling coot.”
That made Wyler laugh.
“I mean, it’s accurate. I hope you’re going to be ready to meddle like your forefathers,” he teased. “It’s the main duty.”
Oh, he was aware.
When the door opened, Lance Running Wolf stood there in his regalia.
“Ethan, my boy, you’re right on time. Are you ready?” he asked.
The man headed his way.
“I am, Chief.”
He patted him on the back.
“Wyler, you’ll have to stay out here. We’ll talk, and then, Ethan will be out. Council wants to make sure that Ethan is the right Shaman for us.”
Wyler said nothing, but he hoped that the man wouldn’t crucify his son for the mess between Wyler and Catherine. Only, he couldn’t stop it.
Ethan’s burden was all because of him, but they’d navigate it as a family.
As Wyler sat, Raphael parked himself beside him.
“How are you feeling?” the Marine asked.
Wyler shrugged.
“I’m worried about him.”
He reassured him.
“Ethan will be fine. I meant more your health,” he said, clarifying.
Wyler considered it.
“I’m okay. I’m a little tired today, but I’ll be fine. I’ll take a nap here, and then head to the house. I don’t want to miss out on the kids.”
He said nothing.
“Winn, can I ask a favor?” he said, dropping the Archangel title, to speak to the man.
He glanced over.
“Sure. What do you need?”
He put his hand on the Marine’s leg, and spoke to him, openly.
“When I am dying, and that moment comes, can you please make sure they’re okay?
I know that I have no right to ask, since it’s not your job as security, but I’m asking as family to family.
When my time is up, will you, Caspian, Demeter, Gryphen, Ivan, Saint, and the rest of the men you work with just look out for them?
They’ll be scattered and off balance for a while. ”
He smiled at him.
“Absolutely, Wyler. We’ll make sure they’re good. You don’t have to worry about that.”
He did have to worry.
“I have some things put away for them and the grandchildren. Can you make sure they get them? I don’t want to burden Elizabeth with one more thing. When they are finally able to take a breath, will you make sure they are given my will, and they hear my last words?”
He dropped his arm over his shoulders.
“It would be my honor.”
Wyler appreciated that.
“Thank you, Son. I have some things for all of you, too. I want to give you all something to remember me by.”
How could they forget Wyler?
He was like a father to them.
“We won’t forget you. I can promise you that, Wyler. We’ll all be okay. I promise that too. The kids will always remember you, and we’ll make sure that your children do too.”
Then, that was one more thing off of his list, and he was glad it wasn’t impersonal like going through a lawyer.
Winn wouldn’t let him down.
As they waited, Wyler got up and began pacing back and forth, wearing a line in the carpeting. He was getting twitchy, and wasn’t sure how it was going.
But then, he did.
His son came out, and his face said it all.
On it, there were the ceremonial smudges of ash from the tribal council.
“How did it go?” Wyler asked.
Ethan shrugged.
“They’ve opted not to let me become the Shaman. They don’t feel that I will dedicate my life to it as it deserves. They asked me to leave the white man’s world, but I told them I couldn’t do that. I’m half white, and that is part of me.”
Wyler went red.
“Let me speak to them,” he said, angrily. “No one insults my son. He’s just as Native as me, or his brother! This is outrageous.”
Ethan was incredibly hurt and disappointed, but there was no point.
“Don’t, Dad. For me? Just let it go. They are going to find a new family to carry on. They think too much time has passed, and I’m not able to do the job. They have someone else who can give one hundred percent.”
Raphael cracked his knuckles.
“Oh, look over there,” he said, pointing, as he planned on sneaking past Ethan to beat on some idiots.
Ethan stopped him, too.
“They said they needed a sign, and they hadn’t gotten one in the smoke. It’s just not meant to be,” he said.
Wyler hurt for him.
“What can I do to help you?” he asked.
Ethan was to the point.
“Just walk me home. I have to go face my family, and tell them I’m not good enough to be the Shaman.”
Oh, Wyler was coming back here.
Bet.
On.
It.
He was going to kick the shit out of the council members, and laugh while doing it. No one told his son he wasn’t good enough.
NO.
ONE.
There was no doubt this was Lance Running Wolf’s barely veiled anger at him, and his way of taking it out on Ethan.
“We’ll leave this place, and never help them again,” Wyler said, angrily.
Ethan stopped him.
“No, Dad, we won’t. I won’t punish the people here who I’m supposed to want to help out of anger because I didn’t get my way. An angry man lashes out, a wise man finds a solution. I spent my whole life being the former. Now, I’ll be the latter.”
This sucked, and Wyler hated it.
“If that’s your choice, Son.”
He took his hand in his because he needed it. He’d never thought he’d be turned away. For years, they all asked and begged a Blackhawk to take up their role.
Now, they didn’t want him.
A part of him believed it was because of his whiteness, and the rest out of spite.
But it changed nothing.
Ethan didn’t hate straddling both worlds anymore. Goodness came from both.
“I’ll be okay,” he said.
Would he?
He wasn’t sure.
Only, he had to keep moving forward. The universe would reveal what was meant to be when it was meant to be shown. That was all he could do.
Well, that, and work.