Chapter 32 Tessa #2
Those were things that I never expected to have again.
Not that love existed yet. I wasn’t sure it even could.
Aside from a teenage obsession with their music and a delicious encounter one night years ago, these Alphas were complete strangers.
Everything I’d read in magazines or online were just public personas.
Each of them was an enigma, ones I’d have to be brave enough to decipher.
But looking at Ryder—who offered me this gentleness that was nothing like that impulsive Alpha who’d grabbed me backstage and kissed me senseless—I wondered if I could really think of this place as home.
If I could be brave enough to trust. Brave enough to love.
Yet those concepts—home and bravery and trust—belonged to another time, to another Tessa. I wasn’t sure if I could ever really recapture the girl I’d once been before my entire family went down in flames.
“We understand trust has to be earned.” This from Mac.
“You can trust us.” A growl from Dixon.
“I’m an open book.” Tray slapped his chest proudly. “And I love cats.”
“He might be more excited about Josie than you, actually.” Ryder smirked at his brother-in-music.
Hope hung like a fragile promise in the air around us, which was now so thickly scented with our bodily responses to one another that I was feeling a little dizzy.
If I let myself be open to the possibility of staying here, of joining with them, then I also opened myself to potential grief again.
The shelter had been a glimmer of promise, and it had been ripped away cruelly.
How many times would fate punish me? How many times could I stand back up and survive after each disappointment?
Silence descended.
They were surrounding me now, each of their large broad bodies walling me into place, but I wasn’t scared.
This wasn’t like at The Institute when I’d been surrounded as a form of control.
This was a border of protection. I could feel it to my marrow.
Their auras were warm and bright and protective.
I felt effervescent, bubbles of joy tickling my toes and rising upward through my body to swirl and pop in my brain.
My Omega stretched inside, as if she’d been too long cramped into the fetal position, her heats ignored as we struggled to stay alive on the streets.
My stomach clenched, lower sensitive parts tingling.
God, they all smelled so good.
Dixon rolled his shoulders, eyes partially closing.
He seemed to be fighting to keep it together.
Instinctively, I wanted to reach for him.
He needed soothing, needed release. Though I had no experience mating, I knew what it meant for an Alpha to exist without a bond, without a proper mate.
Eventually, an Alpha can’t hold onto sanity.
It wasn’t just their auras heating me up, I realized as my fingers grazed Dixon’s arm.
I’d known I was due for a heat. They hadn’t come regularly being homeless; without proper nutrition and guaranteed safety, I’d been too physically and mentally weak.
It was impossible to know exactly when a heat would hit.
If I had to guess now though, with the way every single part of me wanted to launch myself into Dixon’s arms, I’d say it was a matter of days before my cycle was in full swing.
Dixon’s posture had stiffened, and he hadn’t moved a muscle since my hand touched his skin. God, I couldn’t tell if he was even breathing.
“Tessa,” Ryder spoke, moving into view and positioning himself in a way that put himself slightly between me and Dixon. “He’s not capable of,” he paused, thinking, “holding back right now.” Ryder calmly took my hand and pulled it away from the other Alpha.
As soon as we lost contact, Dixon slumped and exhaled sharply.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered timidly. “I didn’t realize. I only wanted to help.”
Ryder spoke for Dixon, who seemed to still be gathering his wits again. “When you’re ready, and you’re sure you want to, you will help, Tessa.”
Catalina pushed into the room then, breaking the spell that had fallen over us all.
I was so grateful for her arrival, absolutely kicking myself that I’d nearly lost my mind and succumbed to some baser need I was ill-prepared for.
My inner Omega was writhing inside, as if we’d been close to the promised land and I’d denied us.
“They’re gone,” Catalina said slowly, taking in the situation. “I’ve got some work to do, including a call to Doug I’m dreading. Let’s hope your stock portfolios have performed well. That’s the only way we’re keeping the lights on.”
I gaped in surprise. So much for home and security.
“Oh, Tessa. I’m joking. You sweet child.” The older woman scurried forward and took my hands in hers. “These boys keep me on my toes, so I feel it’s only fair I give them hell now and then.”
I nodded, trying to smile. She gave my hands a little squeeze before letting go.
“You boys take care of her. Now that there’s another woman in the house, you should bear in mind that girls tend to stick together.” She winked, whirled, and disappeared.
“Where’s her loyalty?” Tray joked. “Tessa’s been here two minutes and we’re already second-class citizens.”
“Only one solution” Mac shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Never get on our Omega’s bad side. You know Cat will slaughter us if we do.”
As if Mac saying Cat was a magic button, a lazy "meow" sounded from behind us. My heart launched into my throat.
I spun around so fast that I nearly toppled over. "Josie!"
She was stretching on the bed, little paws extended, back arched in that patented feline curve.
Her tail flicked in the air, the crooked tip of it the most perfect thing I’d ever seen.
Her eyes were still sleepy as she yawned, showing tiny teeth and a pink tongue.
Something broke inside me—all the tension, all the fear—and I scrambled across the room, falling onto the plush mattress and gathering her into my arms.
"Silly cat," I whispered, burying my face in her soft fur. "You're okay. We're okay."
I breathed in her scent, feeling ridiculous tears prick my eyes again.
She smelled so different after the Eros spa, notes of chamomile and cocoa butter clinging to her fur.
Here I was, surrounded by famous rock stars, potential mates, in a mansion that could fit the entire shelter ten times over, and I was having an emotional breakdown over my cat waking up from a nap.
But I didn’t care. Whatever happened tomorrow, all that mattered was she’d woken up.
Even if Ryder, Dixon, Mac, and Tray didn’t live up to their promises, even if they flipped a switch tomorrow and turned into absolute assholes, it would be okay as long as Josie was with me.
Thinking about my audience of Alphas, I felt shyness bloom.
When I finally looked up, my cheeks burning with embarrassment, I expected to see judgment or impatience on their faces. Instead, I found expressions ranging from amusement to genuine warmth.
"She's beautiful," Tray said, approaching cautiously. I forced myself not to flinch away when he sat down next to me. He reached for Josie, and I tensed, waiting to see her reaction. She studied his fingers for a moment, then licked the tip of one with her sandpaper tongue. Tray laughed and then nuzzled Josie’s head affectionately.
“She’s my best friend,” I said stupidly.
“I get it,” Tray gave me a dimpled smile. “Always wanted a pet.”
Before I could say something else, my stomach growled embarrassingly loud. If any tension lingered, that was enough to chase it away. Mac grinned. Dixon looked concerned.
"Are you hungry?" Ryder asked, then gave a low chuckle. "Guess that’s a dumb question. We ordered a ton of food, but we weren't sure what you liked. If nothing looks good, we’ll order more.”
"I'll eat anything," I said, before blurting out the invasive thought that followed my words, "as long as it's not from a dumpster. I kind of hope those days are over."
The entire mood of the room shifted. Why did I have to say that out loud? Four pairs of Alpha eyes fixed on me with varying degrees of horror.
"Sorry," I mumbled. “Dark humor’s been my brand for a while. I’m just kidding, obviously. Being stupid.”
“You weren’t kidding,” Dixon breathed out.
“I know when a joke’s a joke,” Tray added.
Standing up quickly, swooping Josie up against my chest for comfort, I fidgeted. I really wished there was a way to rewind time and keep that inner thought to myself.
“Is the food in the kitchen?” I spoke quickly, pulse racing. “I really am hungry.”
I darted between Ryder and Dixon in front of me and beelined for the suite’s door. I didn’t even know where the kitchen was, but it couldn’t be that hard to find it. One of the guy’s said something as I raced down the hall. I could only imagine what they were all thinking now.
Maybe if I just never brought it up again, they’d somehow forget my dumpster food comment. If they didn’t... What would happen if they realized their perfect Eros product was a homeless fraud?