Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
NICOLE
The crashing of waves woke me from my sleep. I blinked my eyes open to the blazing sun on my face and shifted in the backseat of Akio’s car. He gently moved his hands through my hair in soothing circles, and all I wanted was to doze back off.
But we had school, and I didn’t want him to be late.
I lifted my head off his bare chest, only to see him already awake.
His eyes widened, as if he had been caught doing something that he shouldn’t, and he pulled his hand away. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t,” I said. A pink imprint of the seat belt covered the right side of his face. I turned onto my belly and reached up to draw my fingers against it. “How long have you been awake?”
“Not that long.”
“How long?”
“Like, thirty minutes.”
“Akio, why didn’t you wake me?” I asked. “This has to be uncomfortable for you.”
Again, his lips curled into a small smile. “You were sleeping.”
“So?”
“It’s not every day I wake up with a pretty girl lying on top of me,” he said, nervously gazing toward the windshield and scratching his neck. “Besides, you looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake you.”
Pretty? Peaceful?
Those were two words that I rarely ever felt.
Gently, I cupped his chin and turned his head toward me. A smile made its way onto my face, and I pressed my toes against the opposite door to give myself a push toward him until my lips met his.
Truthfully, I never woke up with a guy that I actually liked, a guy who thought I was pretty and didn’t hate me for ruining his life. But today, I had … and my heart was so, so happy that I could think of nothing else … but to kiss him. For as long as I could.
When I pulled away, our lips were still touching. The sweet taste of him, the way his hands rested on my hips, how gentle he had always been with me …
I closed my eyes and breathed him in.
“I think I love you,” I whispered.
As soon as the words left my mouth, both of us tensed.
What the fuck was that, Nicole?! I think I love you?!
“Wh-what?” Akio asked.
“I …” My mouth was parched. “I said that … that I’d love to get … breakfast with you!”
We both knew goddamn well that hadn’t come out of my mouth.
I sat up in the seat, grabbed my pants that were still a bit damp from last night, and yanked them onto my body. My bangs were flat on my head and a bit frizzy from the rain. I ran my fingers through them, trying to distract myself.
Why did I say that?! And aloud?!
With his cheeks bright red, Akio sat up and tugged on his damp shirt. “Y-yeah, we can g-get some breakfast before school.” He averted his gaze and climbed into the front seat, grabbing his keys with a shaky hand. “Where do you want to go?”
Once I climbed up there with him, I looked out the window. “Anywhere.”
My knees were bouncing uncontrollably, and I tried to force them to stop with my hands, but they only shook with them. My mind was going about a million miles a second, and I still couldn’t get over myself.
What is wrong with me?!
If I ruined my friendship with Akio forever, then everything would go back to the only life that I knew—living in hell, with the only escape being death, whether it was from Dad’s hands or my own. We sat in complete silence all the way to Dunkin’ until we reached the speaker post.
“What do you want?” Akio said, his hand tight on the steering wheel.
“Just a, uh … a sandwich is fine.”
After he ordered, he pulled up to the window.
“It’s twelve dollars and eighty-seven cents.”
When we both reached for the center console—me for my purse and him for his wallet—our hands collided. We paused for a few moments, neither of us moving for the money, and then I yanked my purse into my lap to find my wallet.
“Here.”
“No,” Akio said, already pulling his card out.
I held out my hand in front of him. “Here, Akio.”
He ignored my hand and gave his card to the cashier, who looked at us weirdly.
“Akio,” I said after they gave back his card and our food, “take it.”
“No.”
Instead of taking my money, he turned right onto the road to head to the school. After grumbling to myself that I had messed everything up, we sat in silence for the rest of the drive. When we reached the high school, he parked in the student lot.
Neither of us had gone for the food yet.
I peered over at him, only to see him staring at me.
Both of us looked away.
“Akio …” I whispered. “I’m sorry. It was just … I …”
My heart pounded in my chest, and I wanted him to say something first. I wasn’t used to all these feelings and especially not having as much control as Akio gave me in whatever kind of friendship that we had.
Akio stared ahead and swallowed hard, his shirt sticking to his scrawny shoulders.
Another awkward silence fell upon us, and then the bell rang over the intercoms.
“I don’t want to be late,” Akio said, grabbing his backpack from the back and exiting the car without taking his food. “I’ll see you later.”