Chapter 8
Chapter
Eight
“See?” Axel leans back in his chair, regarding me with a teasing glint. “Don’t you feel better?”
I push my empty plate away and sink back into my seat. “A little.”
He smirks. “Told you.”
I toss him a sharp look. “A couple slices of pizza won’t fix this situation.” My chest tightens as reality rushes back. I can’t believe I was reckless enough to kiss Axel. And not just kiss him—that kiss. It was a doozy.
I had wondered what it would be like. I have my answer now. And great, it’s going to live permanently in my memory. One more thing to haunt me about the guy I can’t seem to get over.
As if reading my thoughts, Axel grins. “Well … if you’re still tense, I could help you relax again. You know, we could go for round two. Maybe do a little more dancing. See what happens.”
For a second, I don’t process what he said. Then my brain registers. If there were a mirror in front of me, I’d see flames shooting from my eyes. “What did you just say to me?”
“You heard me,” he quips, not fazed in the least by my outburst.
“This is not funny.” I push back my chair with a scrape. “I don’t know who you think you are, but I am not going to be your little plaything. Whatever problems you and Zoe have … you need to work them out on your own.” I’m halfway to standing when he reaches for my arm.
“Hey. Take it easy. Let’s just talk.”
Something earnest flashes in his eyes, prompting me to sit back down.
Yanking my arm from his grasp, I clamp both arms across my chest. “Talk.” It’s a good thing Consuela and Diego have already left.
No one needs to witness this spectacle. Consuela already pities me enough as it is.
I pin Axel with a hard look. “What’s the story with you and Zoe? Are y’all together or not?”
He rubs the back of his neck. “It’s … complicated.”
“Life usually is,” I snip.
He exhales, frustration edging into his expression. “Can you take it down a few notches? We’re talking here. Just like you wanted.”
I force myself to calm down. Mom’s voice echoes in my head, as it so often does. Listening is paramount. That’s why we have two ears and one mouth. I blow out a breath. “Okay. You were talking about Zoe.”
“Our relationship’s been tenuous for a while. Ever since I split from the band.”
I blink. “But you’re still together. And you’re throwing this huge party. That doesn’t add up.”
“I didn’t want the party, but it means a lot to Zoe, so I caved. She thinks it’ll boost her ratings by doing a segment on hosting a holiday party at my place.”
Unease trickles through me. “So … the party’s being filmed?”
“Yeah.” He bunches his brows like he’s not happy about it.
This is not good. What if someone from Mount Pleasant recognizes me? And I have to be here—thanks to Bianca and the ridiculous arrangement Harmony orchestrated.
“Anyway, things between Zoe and me have been rocky. I don’t know where we stand.”
“So what am I? The rebound?” My heart squeezes to the size of a lemon. Why do I keep giving so much power to this guy to hurt me?
His response is immediate. “No. I had no idea that a beautiful stranger would enter my life so unexpectedly, and I certainly didn’t expect to be so attracted to you.”
The weight of his words hits me square between the eyes.
Good thing I’m not Goliath, or I’d be down for the count.
A stranger? If only he knew. “Oh,” I breathe.
There’s a lot to unpack here. Regardless of what he says, I’m definitely a rebound …
sort of. I mean, he’s still with Zoe. And yet, he’s attracted to me.
Duh! That’s not news. Any moron could deduce that from our kiss. Still, to hear him say it out loud evokes conflicting emotions. It certainly pleases me too much.
Okay, I admit it. I’m glad he’s attracted to me. Elated, actually. And yet, this thing with us can’t go anywhere. I’m here to do a job, and I’m failing miserably because my stupid feelings are getting in the way.
He continues, unaware of the panic swirling in me. “Zoe and I almost broke up. She begged me to give it another chance. She’s hoping the party will fix things.”
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
A swanky party won’t fix anything. It’ll only add more pressure to a tenuous situation.
Maybe Zoe’s trying to milk everything she can from her relationship with Axel before it fizzles out.
She’d get tons of press from hosting a big party and then taking her viewers through every painful step of the breakup. Nothing boosts ratings like sympathy.
I turn my thoughts away from Zoe. I’m giving her way too much energy. “Okay,” I say quietly. “Where does that leave… this?” I gesture between us. I almost asked Where does that leave us? But there is no us. It was one kiss that probably meant nothing to him.
He offers a fleeting smile. “Sometimes things just happen. As John Lennon said—'life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.’”
I let out a small laugh. “Yep, I’ve heard that one.” In fact, Jovie has quoted it numerous times. Is that where he read it? Does he keep up with my column? Probably. He’s the main topic, after all.
“Point is, I don’t know what this is. But I’ve been happy these past few days. Happier than I have in a long time.” His gaze searches mine. “Can we just see where it goes?”
My heart pounds. “Maybe. But only if you tell Zoe how you feel. Sooner rather than later.”
“I will. After Christmas.”
I bark out a harsh laugh. “You’re dragging this through Christmas?”
He winces. “Is that bad?”
“Yes,” I explode. “It’s not fair to her or to me.” Ugh! Did I just insert myself into this equation? I’m talking like we could have a future together.
A pleased smile breaks over his face. “Does that mean you could get invested in us?”
“There is no us. We shared one kiss. That’s it.”
He frowns. “Are you saying we’re a no-go?”
I dig my fingers into my hair, growling. “I don’t know what I’m saying. This whole thing has me so confused, I don’t know which way is up. Falling for you was not part of the plan. It’s a bad idea.”
He looks crestfallen. “Do you have a thing against musicians?”
My words fly out. “Of course not! I play the drums. The problem is—you have a girlfriend.”
“We just covered that. I’ll let things ride during the holidays, and then we’ll figure it out.
” Before I can interject my two cents’ worth, he plows forward.
“Zoe’s out of town until Friday afternoon.
There’s no way I could have a conversation with her over the phone.
It would be too cruel. The party’s on Saturday, and then the benefit takes place three days after that on Christmas Eve.
There’s no time to break the bad news until after Christmas. ”
I shake my head. “You’ve got it all figured out, huh?”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“You never asked me how I feel about the situation.”
He makes a face. “Yes, I did … in a roundabout way.”
“Don’t you want my take on what’s happening between us?”
He blinks. “Of course. What do you think is happening here?”
I moisten my lips. “Well, you’re unsure about your relationship with Zoe, so you’re jumping at the chance to start something new. Classic rebound.” He tries to refute my words, but I talk over him. “You know I’m right. Admit it.”
He presses his lips together, grimacing. “Okay, I can see your point about the timing, but you’re overlooking one critical aspect.”
“What’s that?”
A sly smile tugs at his lips. “Our kiss.”
I sense a trap. “What about it?”
“It was dynamite.” He fixes me with a penetrating gaze. “You and I both know it.”
Heat floods my cheeks. “It was … nice.”
His voice pitches high. “Nice? It was more than nice. And trust me, I’ve kissed enough girls to know.”
My eyes widen. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
A sheepish grin curves his mouth. “At least you know I’m being honest.”
“At least,” I smirk and then switch gears. “The kiss was great, but maybe it was just a fluke. We were dancing and got caught up in the moment.”
“Maybe. There’s only one way to find out,” he murmurs, eyes going to my lips.
It’s crazy how fast longing rustles through me. “Don’t,” I warn. “I’m not a stand-in to keep you entertained during your existential crisis.”
“My what?”
“Your existential crisis where you were triggered by a major event that’s causing you to question life’s meaning and purpose.”
He bursts out laughing. “You really are too much. Existential crisis,” he muses. “I suppose if you ever get tired of playing the drums and working for high-strung interior designers, you could always become a writer with that vocabulary.”
I make a gurgling sound and nearly choke on my saliva.
“Are you okay?”
I cough to clear my throat. “I’m okay,” I squeak.
He fixes me with an intense gaze that makes me squirm. “Let’s get one thing straight.”
“I’m listening.” He can be quite formidable when he wants to be.
“You’re not a stand-in for some existential crisis … or anything else.”
The connection between us strengthens and holds. I inhale slowly, trying to get a handle on my erratic emotions. “You and Zoe have had problems since the band split?”
“Yeah.”
“Why did you split from the band?” I hold my breath, waiting for his answer. It occurs to me that my job as a reporter has become secondary. I truly want to know because I’m interested in him on a personal level.
He draws into himself. “That’s not important.”
“If this is going to work, then you’ll have to open up eventually. I’m only asking because I care.” Or because I’m a fraud who’s after a story.
He reaches for my hand, his thumb stroking my skin. For a second, all I can think about is his touch.
“Can we just take it slow? See where this goes?”
The man of my dreams wants to explore a relationship with me. Slow would be good. Slow is safe. Slow will give me a chance to try to figure out how to navigate this. “Under one condition.”
Wariness trickles into his expression. “What's that?”
“Break things off with Zoe.”
He gives me a measuring look. “Okay.”
That was easier than I expected. Hope flares in the center of my chest—bright and terrifying. “No more kissing until after the breakup.” I’m drawing the line, mostly for myself, because I would like nothing more than to kiss him again … and again.
He groans. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” I affirm with a giggle. How can he be so cute and ruggedly appealing at the same time?
“What about dancing?”
“We’ll see.”
Warm laughter flows from his throat, and then he tosses me a cocky grin. “Okay, we’ll play this your way.”
He thinks he’s winning.
Maybe he is.
And maybe I should just enjoy the dream while I can—because when the truth comes out, everything will come crashing down.
Hard.