CHAPTER 28
“The horses of the Gods will forever be more powerful than any hunter. Any dragon. Any Royal.” - Book of Azure
MY EYES LOCK ONTO HIM, and I watch Koen practice with his dagger against the wooden board. He throws it precisely with speed and determination to hit the dead center of the red circle.
With each piercing hit of the dagger meeting the wood, he turns to glance my way, as if he senses my violent, lingering glare.
“What am I trying to bond with?” I glance over to Florian.
“Either the horse of fire, of water, of ice, or of air.” He slams his palms against the log, pushing himself up, and my eyes follow his movements. “We have yet to capture the one of darkness. I doubt we ever will.”
My hand flies up to my mouth, trying to hide the insane laugh that wants to bellow out from the pits of my stomach. “You expect me,” I throw my hands to my chest, “to bond with one of your horses? Florian, this is insane!”
“It's the only way through the games.”
“How can I bond with it when I am not from here! It will know it. Sense it. It will feel it.”
“You just wait, this will prove to everyone that you are a Deskyiara.” His lips form an amused grin. “I wish your mind and heart would connect, to remember it all. Maybe that would help the rest of us remember what truly happened.”
“If you could somehow make me remember…” Then it hits me like a force.
The stones.
My eyes gesture for him to sit, patting the log next to me, noticing Koen’s glances but I tune it out. I will not glance his way anymore.
“The stones in the Queen’s personal archives. I need to get to them again.” My voice drops so no one can hear. “I also need the book… of…” I try to recall the book's name. “I believe it’s the book that fell from the sky the day of the battle.”
“The book of Azure, known as Swithein. The Realms believe it was from the God of Fire.” He takes a seat without blinking, resting his elbows against his legs. “Why?”
“I believe the stones are memories,” I whisper. “I think they might be my memories. I saw you, Koen, we were in a field with…”
“Dragonflies.” He takes the word right from me.
I nod, very slowly. “Yes. Do you remember this?”
“It's as if it's a hazy dream.” He rubs his hands over his face. “But at night, sometimes these dreams that come to me, feel like memories. As if my brain is trying to remember everything. I wonder sometimes if the Gods took the good memories away from us… as a punishment.”
“I think the stones can give us them back.” My eyes flicker between his. “Can you help me get back to them?”
He scratches the back of his neck and lets out a shaky breath. “I’ll do my best to try. I’ll have Ivker scope out the castle before we go in.”
“Who is Ivker?” I lean towards him. “Can we trust him?”
He nods to the men who fight, Octavian resting against the wall with his knee bent while the other two men slash blades. “The man whose arm is now forged by something made from the Darklands. That’s Ivker.”
“Don’t tell him it's for me. He won’t do it.”
“I won’t.”
“Alright then,” I say with a sarcastic look. “Show me how to ride the four.”
DROPS OF SWEAT TRICKLE DOWN my soaked face, and I can smell the dirt and filth radiating from my pores.
I grab the metal jug by the log, letting the cold water quench my parched lips and glide down my throat.
We have been at this for hours, climbing on a steel horse, burning it to flames as I practice activating the combustible suit. I fail each time.
The other horses weren’t this difficult to practice. Well, maybe besides the one that flies. But the one forged in fire seems the most difficult.
I’ve lost count of the times I've slipped beneath the bulky, mock horse, practicing my slide to avoid being roasted by the fire's heat. Florian has forgotten a dragon unleashed its flames at me, and I didn’t even burn.
I doubt I’ll burn by the horse of fire.
The skin on my bare arm is crisscrossed with raw, bloody scratches, my flesh scraped by sharp rocks and jagged sticks hidden within the dirt. My suit is smudged with ashy streaks from the smoldering remains of the fake horse I have been practicing on.
I’m covered in filth. I’m exhausted.
“No more.” I hunch over, catching my breath as I take the rest of the water and pour it over my head. “I need a break.”
He claps his hands, urging me to get up. “Queens can't be weak,” he teases before brushing the strands that catch in the wind out of his face. “The Fireninze is the most stubborn. It has never bonded. Ever. If it were to choose you, you would have the attention of all the Realms.”
“I don’t want to bond with it,” I mutter out, gliding my hands over my face with the leftover water. “It can stay unbonded.”
“You two would be perfect for eachother.” Florian hurls a towel at my face. “I can see it now.”
I rip the towel off of my face. “Very funny, Florian.” I twist the fabric in my hands. “Why are you making me train so hard for the Fireninze when you know the flames won’t burn me?”
“You don’t know that.”
“I think I do.”
His hand grips the back of his neck, stretching it side to side. “We are being safe.”
“I think the battle games are far from safe.”
Rocks crack underfoot as someone approaches us. I can smell a scent of fire mixed with a floral aroma, and my shoulders relax. It must be him. Goosebumps prick at my neck as the wind shifts towards me, almost as if I can feel his hands touching me.
My jaw clenches as I turn to see Koen walking towards us with his head down, kicking a few rocks in his path before reaching us.
“Training done for the day?” He brushes the curls out from his face, lifting his eyes but avoiding my gaze.
“Not with your help.” I swallow the pain away, straightening my back. “You have yet to come see if I have been okay since what happened.”
“As if I could have done anything to help.” He looks toward the wall, resting his hands in his pockets. “Trust me, this is for the best. Florian will know what to do. I can teach you how to ride, but I told you, I should keep my distance.”
“I did trust you. I suppose I was foolish to do so.” My voice shatters like glass, and my heart starts to pound with a relentless, violent intensity that threatens to burst from my chest. “I guess what I saw in the pit was nothing more than an act.”
My cheeks burn a bright red, not only from the scorching sun above but the rage of betrayal.
As I wait for his response, my chest heaves, rising and falling slowly as if this betrayal has hurt more than anything I have ever experienced.
The wind blows the white sand around us as I feel a slow, annoying sweat bead roll down my temple.
How dare he turn his back on me now. I should have known, should have expected this.
“I’m glad you can finally see I was never the good brother for you.” His jaw ticks. “Like I said, I knew you were smart. It will always be my favorite thing about you.”
Tears prick at the edges of my eyes—a burning, torturing agitation, but I force it away. I swallow. “Your favorite thing about me.”
I can hear Koen breathing deeply, and I close my eyes, remembering the way his breath sounds close to my ears and how it makes my body feel as if it is feeling for the first time.
It is like he unlocked something in me, as if my heart and mind become hushed by the rhythm of his breath and the way his fingers glide over my skin so delicately. He calms the raging storm inside me.
Sometimes I wonder if I helped his darkness hide away.
Now I wonder if he kept me close only to kill me.
“Let me show you how to ride,” he teases. “Take out your anger on me. Show me what you got, Spark.”
With narrow slits, I glance over my shoulder towards him, glaring him up and down as I swallow the rage that sits like a damn boulder inside my throat.
“I think you’ve shown me enough,” I snarl.
He licks the bottom of his lip as he lets out a breathy laugh. His boots kick up the rust dirt as he walks in a circle around me and whispers in my ear, “I think I am just getting started.”
A shiver runs down my spine, sharply, almost knocking the air out of me. My chin lifts high as my eyes stay locked on his movements.
He pauses right in front of me, his hands collapsed behind his back before cocking his head to the side, showing the slight markings on his neck.
“So, what do you say, Spark?” he whispers. “Wanna learn the tricks up my sleeve when it comes to the horses? Or, do you want Florian who has never ridden another besides the Iycekazie? I’m pretty good with my hands if you let me show you. I’ve had plenty of practice.”
A brow of mine raises as I watch his lips play between his teeth.
“Are we talking about training with the horses? Or something else?” I say sarcastically.
I hear Florian cackling under his breath as Koen’s eyes roll towards him.
He leans closer to me, his eyes dropping to my lips. “What do you want to be talking about?”
My eyes roll, pushing his chest away from me as he stumbles backwards, laughing under his breath.
He is maddening. My fingernails dig into my sweaty palms.
I catch sight of Florian’s shoulders raising and falling with Koen’s words. “He isn’t wrong. He has worked with the horses for years, learning their ways since being here in Eekatia.” The sounds of high heels clicking against rocks echo in the pit, and I can hear a woman clearing her voice.
Koen scuffs. “Seems as if Skie needs you anyways for a bit?” His brows raise, nodding his head for Florian to leave.
Florian grips my shoulder gently. “I’ll be back in a bit. Don’t kill him while I’m gone, even if everything inside you wants to.” His lips form a soft smile as he walks towards Skie, who waits for him at the entrance.