Chapter 13 Larkin
THIRTEEN
LARKIN
Percy fell asleep on my sofa twenty minutes after telling me he was pregnant. I sat beside him, making sure he was okay, while my dragon was in protective mode.
Percy was curled on his side with one hand tucked under his cheek and the other resting on his stomach. He looked younger. The bravado and the jokes and the constant motion had vanished, leaving my mate who'd arrived with two positive pregnancy tests and trusted me with the news.
But now he was asleep, and my brain was awake, and the lieutenant in me was doing what it always did. It was assessing the situation, identifying problems, and building a plan.
Percy couldn't compete in the final because the rescue simulation involved smoke, zero visibility, and carrying weight through a building. Even without the physical demands, the smoke exposure alone would take him off the roster.
So Station 9 was losing their strongest member before the biggest event. Percy pulling out would raise questions about him, and that would lead to questions about the baby and us being together. From there it would leap to me and both stations imploding.
I opened the notes app and typed a timeline. We had to tell the crews, and I put question marks after Percy and the doctor. His apartment above Station 9 was tiny, and the fumes from the engine bay weren't ideal for a pregnancy. My place was better, but moving him in would be visible.
The list grew to fourteen items, and I organized them by category.
You're doing the thing, my dragon pointed out
What? I was problem-solving. That was my job. That was what I was good at.
You're turning him into an incident report.
I rubbed my face with both hands and pressed my palms against my eyes until I saw spots. My dragon was right, and I hated that he was, because the alternative to planning was feelings that were so big they didn't fit inside the framework I'd built for my life.
I was going to be a father, and Percy and I were a family. This omega I’d mated who teased me about ironing my shirts and climbed ladders with ease saw through my composure as though it were made of gossamer.
Huh? Gossamer? You’ve been reading too much romantasy.
“Hey.” Percy reached out and took the phone. "You've been organizing.”
“A little.”
“Larkin, you made a spreadsheet.”
“It’s a list.”
“It's a spreadsheet for our baby.” He got up. “I came here scared out of my mind and you held me, and that was what I needed. But I fell asleep, and you what? Opened a project management app?”
I waved the phone at him. “It’s just the notes app. Nothing special.”
“Larkin.” His brittle voice had both me and my dragon paying attention. “I don't need a logistics briefing. I need my mate to tell me how he feels about us having a baby.”
I cocked my head. Maybe Percy was already suffering from pregnancy brain. “I told you.”
“You held me. That's not the same as telling me.” He folded his arms. “You skipped the part where you reacted.”
“I plan, that’s how I process things.”
“No, that's how you avoid it. That list isn't for the baby or me, it’s for you.”
The words hit a nerve, and my dragon didn't defend me. He allowed the truth to settle over me. Damn, was this how it would be from now on? My beast was taking my mate’s side.
“You want a reaction? Fine.” My voice had risen a few decibels, but I needed to get this out. “I’m terrified. I've spent my entire adult life being the person who holds it together, whether it’s at the station or in every room I walk into.”
Shit, I was doing this wrong. I had to lower my voice. “And now the one person who makes me feel like I don't have to hold it together is pregnant. But my first instinct is to hold it together because that's all I know how to do.”
Percy glanced away before gazing at me again.
“And you do the same thing.” I slammed my hand on the kitchen island. “You joke. Every time something gets real, you crack wise and redirect. You arrived terrified, and the moment you told me the news, you made a stir-fry joke.”
“It was funny.”
“It was deflection. You're as scared of being vulnerable as I am of losing control, and the only difference is your defense mechanism is charming and mine makes spreadsheets.”
We stared at each other across the island, and both of us were breathing hard. There was silence, which I was usually comfortable with and Percy wasn’t, but he was the first to break it.
“The stir-fry joke was pretty good, though.”
I closed my eyes. He was still doing it, but his joke had cracked the tension and split it in two.
“Come here.” I beckoned him.
He narrowed his eyes. “No, you come here. I'm pregnant.”
My dragon nudged me, but he didn’t have to because I wanted his tension to be gone, the argument over, and me to be hugging my mate.
I walked around the island. Percy wasn’t falling into my arms, not that I expected him to because we hadn’t solved anything.
We were both scared and hopeful, but we wanted this to work out between us.
I did, and he’d demonstrated that he wanted the same.
“I’m terrified.” My voice was just above a whisper. “But I’m also so happy I can’t put it into words. Both of those things are true, and I don't have a category for that in my notes app.”
“Damn it, Larkin.” He sniffed. “You can't say something like that and expect me not to cry. I howled over a dog eating kibble this week. My weeping threshold is low.”
I pulled him close, and he didn’t resist. He rested his forehead on my shoulder.
“I’m scared too,” he mumbled, and his tears soaked through my shirt.
You made our mate cry. My beast wasn’t impressed.
“What if I'm not good at it and I mess our kind up? Up until now, my biggest responsibility has been remembering to change the oil in my truck, and I'm three thousand miles overdue.”
I kissed the top of his head and bit my tongue. This wasn’t the moment to freak at him not attending to his truck. “We'll get your oil changed.”
“That's not the point.”
“I’m aware.” I had to choose my words carefully and not blurt out that we would make mistakes.
We weren’t human, but in regards to parenting, we were on equal footing with humans.
“Neither of us knows what we're doing, and that's okay.
We'll work it out together, with you making jokes and me creating lists until we figure out what works.”
Percy wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “That was dangerously close to a speech.”
“Did you like it?” I patted his butt.
“Not bad.” He ground his hips against me.
Hmmm, could I take my newly pregnant mate to bed? Nah, after that emotional roller coaster it was probably best we keep our clothes on and talk more.
I pulled us onto the couch and put an arm around him.
"We should try to make it to the final and tell them afterward. That way both stations will have had the competition they've been working toward.”
“But you can’t compete. Your captain will want to know why.”
Percy nibbled his lip. "I'll tell him I'm not well. It's not a lie. I’ve been sick all week, and Briggs has been side-eyeing me.”
“And if he asks what's wrong?”
“I’ll tell him I haven’t seen a doctor.”
We were really stretching the truth, but it would have to do.
“Okay. But if you have a problem or you’re really sick, you tell me. Not Briggs and not your captain. Just me, your mate.”
“You’re kinda bossy.”
I smirked. “And you like it.”
“What? Moi? Never.” Percy’s innocent look didn’t fool me. He yawned and nestled closer. “I’m going to fall asleep again. Growing a baby is exhausting.”
“Pretty sure what’s inside you is an egg.”
“Same thing.”
I pulled a blanket off the back of the sofa and tucked it around him while he grumbled about eggs. Within minutes, his breathing slowed and his body slumped against mine. I closed my eyes and allowed waves of terror, joy, and my love for this man to crash over me.
Percy had tumbled into my life wearing the wrong team’s colors and had rearranged my priorities. I’d never have imagined that was possible, and yet look at me now.