5. Cassidy
Chapter 5
Cassidy
“ H ey Cassidy! Watch this!” Maddie does a jump twist onto the giant flamingo floaty in the pool, and Parker and I clap for her.
“I wanna go!” Parker says, jumping off the pool lounge.
“Oh… Parker, wait up!” I quickly slip out of my shorts and tug my t-shirt over my head, abandoning both things behind me, as I chase after the toddler.
He stops just at the pool's edge and looks back at me with a smirk.
“Do you know how to swim?” I ask him, then look at Maddie. “Does he know how to swim?”
She shrugs, now fully seated in the pink flamingo as it spins away carelessly.
Parker inches closer to the edge. “Parker, don’t jump. You can dip your feet in but that’s the deep end—"
He slips and tumbles straight into the pool. I shriek out his name and jump in after him. I’m able to grab him and lift him up out of the water before he takes in too much. He clings to the edge coughing. I hear the back patio doors slide open and Joshua comes running out.
“What happened?”
I cough out water too, not realizing I had swallowed so much myself.
“He jumped,” is all I can get out.
“Oh my god. Parker!”
“Daddy was teaching him how to swim before he left on vacation,” Maddie says matter-of-factly.
I stop coughing because what the eight year old just said, takes me by surprise.
“What?” I ask her.
Joshua coughs now trying to say the words, “She doesn’t know.”
I paddle to the side of the pool. “Are you serious? Where does she think he is?” I say a little too angrily, but low enough that she can’t hear.
Joshua tugs the boy out of the pool and motions for me to follow him.
I pull myself out from the water and wrap an arm over my midsection to cover up as much as I can.
Joshua gives me a smooth once-over before tossing me a dry towel.
“She thinks he’s on a long vacation.”
I wrap the towel around my chest and wring out my braided hair.
“And what are you planning on telling her when she realizes that daddy’s been gone for months and isn’t coming back?”
He looks over at the girl, swimming happily in the pool. “I… I haven’t got that far.”
“Joshua…” I breathe out.
“I panicked, okay? The caseworker lady said it’s best to keep things as normal as possible for them, so that’s what I’m trying to do.” He throws his hands up.
I rub a hand down my face. “This isn’t some goldfish that you flushed down the toilet… this is their father,” I whisper yell. “You can’t just pretend like he’s… still alive.”
He covers Parker’s ears. “Well, then… what do you suggest super nanny? You already see how knowing something this big can affect a kid. Just look at Cole. He barely leaves his room. And even when he does it’s to storm off and hate the world.”
Honestly, I’m at a loss. How do you tell an eight year old girl that her daddy–the only parent she had left–is not coming back?
“I didn’t know what to say so I just said he’s on vacation. I left out the part that it was permanent and in heaven," he sighs.
I wish I would’ve known. I’ve tiptoed around the topic of the kid’s father because I didn’t know how they felt about it. I had no idea they didn’t know the actual t ruth.
“They need to find out eventually,” I tell him.
He nods. “They will. Just as soon as I figure out how.”
“Hey Cassidy! Look at this,” Maddie calls out. I turn to face her, and she dives into the water and pops up a few seconds later, spitting water like a whale.
I smile at the carefree child. “Looking good, Maddie girl.”
“Thanks,” she says with a smile.
Indira, the house manager, slides the back door open. “Lunch is ready!”
Parker perks up like he didn’t just swallow water and give us all heart palpitations. Maddie swims to the edge of the pool.
“What are we having?” Maddie asks her.
“Mac and cheese,” Indira says. “Your favorite.”
I follow closely behind the toddler and look back to see Joshua hasn’t moved from his spot. He seems lost in thought. And I want to turn around and comfort him. But I’m not here to take care of him . I’m here for the kids. So I leave him to it.
I’m sure the news of his father passing isn’t something he’s fully dealt with yet either. And that must be it's own kind of hell to have to grapple with.
Maddie meets up with me and Parker and I wrap her in a towel, too, before we join Indira inside.
Cole pushes away the plate in front of him.
“You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday morning,” I tell him.
He shrugs. “I’m not hungry.”
“You need to eat something, Cole,” I insist.
He pushes his chair back and reaches for the fruit basket in the middle of the table, pulling an apple and stuffing it into his hoodie.
“May I be excused?” he asks me, dryly.
I sigh. “Sure.”
Without another word, he stalks away from the kitchen nook where we’ve been served lunch.
Maddie is excitedly digging into her bowl, and I’m helping Parker, who keeps trying to escape the restraints of his high chair when Keelan enters the kitchen.
“The teenager still raging?” he asks, opening the door to the fridge.
“Raging would require him to show actual emotion. What he’s doing is going numb. And somehow that’s scarier. He’s not like my brothers. They wear their emotions on their sleeves.”
He looks over at me. “Yeah I heard you had a lot of siblings.”
“Too many if you ask me. Four of them are around his age.” I motion toward where Cole just exited.
“No shit?” Keelan says, leaning against the door and watching me.
“That’s a bad word,” Maddie says to him between bites.
He shrugs. “We used to have a swear jar when Fergie was here. So sorry kid,” he ruffles her wet hair. “Guess you missed the boat on that one?”
Maddie smiles. “So, I can't get money when you say a bad word?”
“Nope,” Keelan says, popping the p. “ But we do have a cringe jar. See it sitting over there next to the coffee maker?”
He points and Maddie and I both look. “But it’s empty,” she says.
“Yeah… because I’m the only one around here paying up. But if you want to be the cringe police–I’ll let you keep half the profits.”
“Really?”
Keelan nods.
“What qualifies as cringey?” I ask him.
“That shirt,” Joshua says, coming down the stairs.
Keelan looks down at his bright Hawaiian shirt. “That’s not fair. The theme of the baby shower is tropical oasis.”
“Nobody should own a shirt like that, Lando. I say it's jar-worthy.”
Keelan rolls his eyes, but takes out his wallet anyways. He stuffs a few bills into the near-empty jar, and Maddie’s eyes widen.
“I get half of that?”
“Yep! And I suggest you be on the lookout with this one,” Keelan hooks his thumb toward Joshua. “Don’t let him fool you with the whole daddy routine. He’s definitely cringey. Maybe the cringiest.”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes me.
“I’m sorry. Do you have something to say?” Joshua looks over at me, holding back a grin.
“Yeah, I catch him talking to himself several times a day.”
“Cringe,” Keelan says, pointing to me. “See? So cringe. Jar, Hicks. You weirdo. He does do that."
Joshua scrunches his brows but digs his wallet out too, eyeing me as he stuffs a few bills into it.
“I like this game!” Maddie announces.
“You should. It’s going to make you rich,” Keelan says with a smile. Then he turns to me, “Are you… going in that?”
I look down at my shorts and t-shirt and then look back up at him. “Uh… I didn’t realize it was a themed baby shower.”
“Yeah, neither did I,” Joshua says.
“Did nobody read the invitation but me?”
“You probably read the fine print since it was Rina who sent it,” Joshua says with a smirk.
Keelan side-eyes him and cracks open a beer. Not saying anything in rebuttal. Instead he looks at me. “I can take you shopping… if you like.”
“What? No, you don’t have to do th–”
“I’ll take you,” Joshua says. “You don’t mind watching the kids for a few right, Lando?”
Keelan looks between me and Joshua. “Uh… nope. Not at all. Just be back before it’s time to go. You can manage that right, Hicks?”
Joshua glares at him before grabbing his keys off the counter. “Got it, Cap.”
Keelan pulls out the chair on the other side of Parker. “I’ll take it from here. You go ahead, Cassidy. Get something pretty. Make sure it’s expensive and let him pay,” he says, winking.
I look over at Joshua, who is waiting for me in the hallway. “Okay.”
“Can I go too?” Maddie asks.
I can audibly hear the frustrated sigh that comes from Joshua before he says, “Sure. Come on, brat.”
“Jar!” Maddie says, jumping from her chair.
“What?! That’s not jar-worthy.”
“I don’t know… calling your sister a brat is pretty cringey,” she says, following him out.
“Good luck with those two,” Keelan says to me.
“Thanks.” I follow them out the front door and out to Joshua’s car. He opens the door and helps Maddie into the tiny backseat, before sliding the passenger seat back into place and patting it for me. Once I’m inside he shuts the door and slides smoothly into the driver’s seat.
“I couldn’t help but notice you have a pretty sick car,” he says.
I look at my hunk of junk parked off to the side beside Keelan’s yellow Bronco. “That car?”
He nods. “You ever drift it?”
He throws the car into first gear and we weave around the other cars and onto the road. “Uh… no.”
“Seriously, why not?”
“What’s drift?” Maddie asks.
“It’s when you make a car go sideways on the road, like this,” he rounds the corner and pulls the e-brake sending the Mustang sliding just slightly, before counter-steering it back and straightening it out.
Maddie and I both momentarily freak out and start laughing once he’s driving normal again.
“Is that a thing with my car?” I ask, surprised.
His jaw goes slack. “An ‘86 Toyota Corolla? Are you kidding me? That’s the thing to do with that car. Have you never seen Initial D?”
I shake my head.
“Ok, movie night," he says. "After the baby shower. I need all of us to pile into the movie room for an Initial D marathon. You’re going to see just what your car can do.”
He shifts up again as we make our way out of the neighborhood. He handles this car so smoothly. Mine is a stick shift as well but there’s no way I can drive it as smoothly as him. It was my dad’s who passed it down to my older brother who gave it to my older sister and now I’m sibling number three to own it.
“I can barely get it out of first gear. And if I ever get stuck on a hill… it’s game over for me and the car.”
“Do you not know how to drive stick?”
I shrug. “I mean… I can get from point A to point B, so far. But it’s not without it’s share of anxiety the entire time.”
He nods and chews on the inside of cheek, lost in thought. I notice just how square his jaw-line is when he does that. And force myself to look back at Maddie.
She's drawing something in a unicorn notebook and Joshua reaches for the volume, playing soft country music as we drive.
“So this baby shower… it seems like a big deal to Keelan,” I say, looking out the window now.
“Yeah. Izzy’s his only sister. Ryker, Izzy’s fiancé, is Keelan’s best friend. They’re all really close. And ever since Izzy moved here from Cali, she and Rina have been nearly inseparable. Drives Landry crazy .”
“Oh… and who’s Rina?” I ask.
He looks at me and smacks his head. “Right. I forget you don’t know everyone. Rina Lopez, is the Heatwave’s PR manager. She’s shrewd and cutthroat and can make bad press disappear like it’s nobody’s business. She’s someone we all want on our side.”
“So why is Keelan so interested in showing up with a date? Were they a thing?”
“Uh… neither of them have admitted to it. But me and the guys have our speculations. Right now the conspiracy among us is that they were college sweethearts and Keelan did something dumb to ruin it. Therefore he’s forever been in her crosshairs since she came in to work for us.”
“But he won’t say for sure?”
“Landry?” he blows raspberries. “Nah. The guy’s a vault. You see him there all goofy and carefree… he probably knows every one of our deepest darkest secrets. And he won’t tell a soul. He'll bust our balls, but when it comes to the real deal stuff.” He pinches his thumb and forefinger together and mimics zipping his lips.
He looks so relaxed as he drives and chats. His wrist rests casually on the steering wheel. The other lightly holds the ball of the stick shift in his left hand.
“So what’s yours?” I ask him.
“My… what?”
“Your deep dark secret.”
He glances over at me. “You first.”
“I’m twenty. I haven’t lived long enough to have deep dark secrets.”
“Bullshit,” he says, with a grin. “We’ve all got at least one.”
“That’s a bad word,” Maddie says, yawning in the back seat.
“Thanks for the reminder, brat.” Then he says to me,”So?”
I wrack my brain for something juicy enough. “When my oldest sister got married last year… I may or may not have had a few shots with her before the wedding to help her calm her nerves.”
He smiles. “Cassidy, you bad, bad girl. Underage drinking is illegal in the state of Texas.”
I blush and say in a rush, “It was just that one time. I swear.”
He laughs, “Relax. I’m kidding. Everyone’s drank a little before they were legal. That’s not deep or dark enough. Try again.”
“Can I drink before I’m legal?” Maddie blurts out.
“Yeah. You can drink. Big Reds. And Sprites and Arnold Palmers to your heart’s content," Joshua says to her, eyeing her in the rearview mirror.
“Boring,” Maddie says.
He chuckles. “Back to your deep, dark secret,” he says to me.
I roll my eyes. “You first, I’m still thinking.”
He bites cheek again. “Ok… I was genuinely annoyed when Landry told me he asked you to come with him to the shower today.”
He looks over at me to catch my reaction. But I don’t know how I should react to it.
I just ask, “Why?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean, you have every right to go with him. It’s not like I own you just because you work for me… I guess I was jealous.”
My heart pounds violently in my chest and I feel the need to crack a window open to get more oxygen to my brain. Why would he be jealous… of me?
Then I remembered just the other day.
How everyone around me seemed so concerned that I wouldn’t last because he had a reputation. I refuse to be another notch on his bedpost. Another girl he can say, been there, done that with.
As quickly as I feel flattered, I also feel anger surge. That he dare try to stake a claim on me when he knows we could never be anything. I work for him. That’s all. Nothing more. Period.
He swallows hard next to me. Probably wondering what’s going through my mind at his confession.
“Well…” I say. “You really don’t have anything to worry about with me. I’ve never even kissed a guy.”
The words fall out of me before I have the chance to fully measure whether they’re worth saying. But… cat’s out of the bag now.
He does a double take. “Wait, what?”
“Yeah…” I sigh. “I’m not really big into the whole dating scene. As in I’ve never actually dated anyone.”
And now I have word vomit. What is wrong with me?
Maddie is suddenly wide awake. “You’ve never had a boyfriend? Even I’ve had a boyfriend.”
I turn back to give her a look. “You’re eight, Maddie. What are you doing with a boyfriend?”
She dismisses me with the toss of her hand. “Oh you know. He holds my hand at recess. Refills my water bottle. Things like that.”
“Is that all?” Joshua asks, watching her through the rearview mirror.
“Yeah. What do you think we do? Kiss? Ew. That’s so gross.”
“You better not,” Joshua says in warning.
We all stay quiet for a few minutes while Joshua continues to drive.
“Hey Cassidy?” Maddie asks.
“Yeah?” I look back at the little girl.
“Maybe Josh can teach you.”
I blanche. “Teach me… what Maddie?”
“How to get a boyfriend. He’s really good at finding girlfriends. Maybe he can teach you.”
I laugh and look over at Joshua who isn’t laughing. “No, that’s okay. I don't need help.”
“I can teach you,” he says matter-of-factly.
I shake my head trying to comprehend what’s happening. “Teach me how to get a boyfriend?” I clarify.
He shrugs. “Why not? You’re living with us. We’d have plenty of time for lessons. In six weeks, I’ll have you be a master of flirtation.”
“Uh…” I laugh again, cocking my head at him. “Master of flirtation?”
He looks over at me momentarily before turning his attention back to the road. “Come on, Cassidy. You have like zero game.”
I scoff. “You don’t know that.”
He smirks. “I kind of do.”
“How could you possibly assume that? You barely know me.”
He looks at me again, this time a bit longer than I feel comfortable with him being behind the wheel. “It’s just a hunch,” he shrugs.
Maddie gasps. “He can help you find a boyfriend. And then maybe you’ll get married to him, and then I can be your flower girl. Oooh! Can I be your flower girl, Cassidy?”
I look between Maddie and her older brother. “Are you two serious?”
“Yes,” they say in unison.
“How would that even work?”
“Maybe Josh can show you what to do with your hands.”
“With my hands?” I look at my hands.
“And your face,” she adds.
I raise a brow. “What’s wrong with my face?”
“Nothing. It’s really pretty. You just have to learn how to do things with your eyes.”
“My eyes—ok, this is just absurd. Now I know you're joking.”
“She’s right,” Joshua says with a nod. “You are a little awkward.”
“And clumsy,” Maddie adds. “Can’t walk down the aisle with your bad coordination. You think she even knows how to dance?”
Joshua is now full-on grinning. “Highly doubt it.”
“Ok, that’s enough.” I balk. “What is this? A hate on Cassidy session?” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Let him teach you, Cassidy,” Maddie insists.
“Yeah, Cassidy,” Joshua says, putting the car into park in front of a fancy department store. “Let me teach you.”
His deep eyes have a playful look in them and as ridiculous as this notion is… I don’t want to be an awkward wallflower for the rest of my life and die as a never-been-kissed-nanny.
I groan before reluctantly saying, “Fine.” I push the car open. “But under one condition.”
I pull the seat forward to let Maddie out.
“Shoot!” she says, jumping out of the car.
“Nobody can know about it.” I wag a finger at both of them. And they both look at each other before looking at me and smiling.
“Deal,” they both say.