8. Joshua
Chapter 8
Joshua
I ’m almost asleep in my recliner when Cassidy and Cole burst into the media room with hands full of popcorn and Dr. Peppers.
“Uh…”
“This seat taken?” Cassidy asks, slipping into the seat next to me wearing pajamas and slippers. Cole takes the seat to her left in his own personal version of bedtime cozy.
“I thought you were with–”
“Keelan?” She shakes her head. “He’s okay without me.”
I try to hide the smile tugging at the corner of my lips.“You guys missed an epic Ice Age marathon,” I say, grabbing the remote and changing the streaming service. Behind me, Maddie and Parker are both snoring.
“So I heard,” Cassidy looks over at me.
I laugh. “Ready for some Initial D?”
She hands me my own bucket of popcorn. “Why does that sound super inappropriate?”
I smirk, “Do you want me to tell you what the D stands for? Or do you want to take a wild guess?”
She looks over at Cole who pretends to be busy on his phone before looking back at me. “No funny business, Joshua.”
He laughs and presses play on the movie. “There’s three of them, by the way.”
She shoots me a quick glance, “Come again?”
“Movies, there’s three of them. So… get cozy, Princess.”
She smiles when I call her that. And in that moment, I decide, that’s just what I’ll call her. Her family can call her Sid. She’s Princess to me.
We make it two movies in before we lose Cole to sleep as well.
“Should we call it a night?” I ask her.
She’s stifling a yawn next to me. “No way! I need to know what happens to Project D.”
I laugh. “Seriously? It’s almost midnight.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t take you for someone who couldn’t hang with the cool kids,” she teases.
I press play. “Oh, it’s on. I am the cool kid.”
“Something tells me Cole would beg to differ.”
I rub the back of my neck, “Yeah, me too.”
The movie starts but I can’t ignore the pull to talk to her. “How was the baby shower?”
She shrugs and adjusts herself in her seat, looking uncomfortable.
“Did something happen? Did Keelan do something?”
She shakes her head. “No. No. He was a perfect gentleman.”
“He better be, or I’ll beat his ass. Just say the word.”
I see the blush creep into her cheeks.
“I mean it.”
She looks at me. “I believe you,” she says softly.
We both pretend to be into the movie but I’m acutely aware at just how close she’s gotten. Her knees pulled in and nearly touching my outstretched thigh. I try to ignore the feeling. I really do. But it’s like the constant humming of a live wire. It’s there even if I try to ignore it.
I find myself leaning into her. Trying to capture even the smallest whiff of her floral shampoo.
And it’s a special kind of torture I put myself through.
“You awake?” her voice breaks through my thoughts.
I shift to look at her and swallow, “Yeah.”
“Can I ask you something?”
I look at her and nod.
“Will you teach me to drive like that?”
My eyes flick to the screen. “Like… that ?”
A small grin stretches across her face. “I’ve played it safe my whole life. And I think I’m ready for something totally different.”
“So you want to learn to drift?” I ask, incredulously.
She bites her lip and nods excitedly.
“What happened to Cassidy? Did you leave her at the party, Princess?”
She leans in more.
“Cassidy… is ready for a change.”
“Okay.” I stand up and reach a hand down to her.
“Wh–what are you doing?”
“Come on. I’m going to teach you.”
“Now?” she looks around at the sleeping kids.
“Cole’s here. They’re fine. We won’t go far.”
She hesitates as I continue to hold my hand out. Then she takes it and I pull her out of the reclining chair she’s sunken into.
“You might want to put on some real shoes,” I say, looking down at her fluffy pink slippers.
“Only if you agree to put a shirt on,” she says, eyeing my chest.
“No guarantees.”
“Why?” she protests.
“Because, I like making you uncomfortable.”
She rolls her eyes but follows me out into the hallway.
“Okay, ease your foot off the clutch at the same time you're putting more power on the gas.”
We’re on an upward hill. Cassidy’s worst nightmare. But it’s midnight. Most people are asleep, and it’s as good a time as any to help her conquer her fears.
“Slow, Princess.”
“I am.”
“No, you’re not,” I say calmly.
The tires screech as the clutch catches and we rock up the hill.
“There you go. You’re getting it now.”
“This isn’t drifting, Joshua.”
“No, it’s not. And we won’t be drifting until you know how to drive a stick shift up a hill.”
She rolls her eyes and continues to inch up the hill. Her hand holding onto the stick shift like her life depends on it.
“Ease up,” I say. I slip my hand over hers and her eyes flick over to me.
“What are you doing?”
“Let it go.”
“No,” she shakes her head in a panic.
“You’re holding it like you’re trying to choke the car.”
“I might be trying. Let’s be real,” she cries out. “I hate this. How did I let you convince me this was a good idea.”
We keep bouncing as the car struggles to the top.
“We’re almost there.”
She growls out her frustration, and it’s the funniest noise I’ve ever heard.
“Are you laughing at me?” she asks.
“Did you just growl?”
“Maybe! This is a little stressful, if you can’t tell. I thought we’d be doing fun donuts in some nearby parking lot.”
“Donuts are like lesson number four. We have to start with the basics.”
She growls again just as we make it to the top.
“Phew. Ok, now what?”
“Now, I take over. Stop the car.”
“What?” She stops the car and puts it in neutral, pulling the e-brake.
We switch sides and I slip into her driver’s seat.
We slam the doors at the same time. “Now for some fun.”
I slam into first and glide down the road. She squeals with laughter as the g-forces hit us. We hit a corner at high speed and I shift down and pull the e-brake up making the car shift sideways.
“Ohmigawd!” she screams out.
We’re both laughing hysterically and she’s holding onto the side of the door as if she’s about to fall out of the vehicle at any point.
“You’re crazy,” she says to me.
“Maybe!”
We round another corner, and I do the same thing, sending us spinning out sideways.
Our laughs are filling the small space between us as the car comes to a stop at the end of the street. We’re both breathing heavily, laughs slowing. I love seeing her like this. Carefree. Fun.
I see her with the kids all day. I see how she has everything so in control and organized. But here, alone in this car, I catch a glimpse of a part of her I haven't met yet.
We both lean in over the center console. Catching our breaths. She’s holding onto her chest like she’s trying to calm her heart rate and I reach over and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She quiets and I see her body go rigid.
“Does it bother you when I touch you?” I whisper.
She breathes out a gush of air. “No.”
I nod and tuck the other side, letting my hand linger on her cheek. She leans into it, closing her eyes.
I gulp. I won’t kiss my nanny. I can’t mess this up for the kids.
I quickly withdraw my hand. Realizing I’m in dangerous territory right now. The thickening in my pants is evidence of it.
“Come on,” I say, unbuckling my seat belt.
She sits up straight. “Where are you going?”
I get out of the car and walk over to her side, holding her door open. We’re at the far end of the neighborhood. Just beyond the tree line is a trail.
“Just come on… you want lessons on dating? Here’s your first one.”
She unbuckles her seatbelt and slides out, eyeing me suspiciously.
I take her hand and pull her along with me. “Joshua, the kids.”
“It’ll be quick,” I promise her.
We get to a clearing that opens up to a giant lake. The moon is high above us. And I walk her out to one of the docks.
We both stare out at the water, softly sloshing against the dock. And it feels so weird to see it this dark.
“This is beautiful. I had no idea this was back here,” she whispers as if trying to not wake the fish.
I have other plans.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and put on some music. I scroll through the playlist until I land on Dandelions by Ruth B. It’s just soft and quiet enough not to startle all the animals.
I set it on one of the posts, turn to her with a bow, and stretch out a hand for her to take.
She stares at it a moment, smiles, and then steps forward and takes it.