20. Cassidy
Chapter 20
Cassidy
I ’ve never been in his room. I’ve been working here for a little over a week and I haven’t dared entered Joshua’s room. It smells like him. Wood. Citrus. Spice.
He smells like warmth and he smells like danger and the second we step into his room. I know there’s no going back.
He shuts the door behind him. And undoes the rest of the buttons on his shirt letting his hands fall to the side once it’s fully open.
“So you tell me how you want this to go, Princess.”
He slips his hands into his pockets and watches me. I hug my kindle to my chest and find the edge of his bed to take a seat.
“This is for research… obviously.”
He gives one nod of understanding. “Obviously,” he parrots, in a voice that doesn’t sound like he agrees.
“So, you know. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Like the kiss at the beach bar.”
I squint at him, remembering the kiss that mean so much.
“Right,” I say.
He chuckles. “You’re so full of shit.”
I scoff. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t play coy, Cassidy.” He walks up to me until he’s standing mere inches in front of my face. He slips a hand out of his pocket and cups my chin between his fingers, pulling my face up to look at him.
“Tell me, how many times have you touched yourself thinking of me?”
My mouth falls open at his audacity.
“That’s what I thought,” he husks.
I pull my chin out of his grip but he holds it tighter.
“You like when I praise you, too. I can see it in the way your cheeks turn that pretty shade of pink. He brushes his thumb over my lips. And the way you chew on this bottom lip.”
I try to swallow without him knowing. But the way he’s holding onto me, I can’t hide it.
“Be a good girl and read for me, Princess,” he says, motioning to the kindle.
One night. I can do just one night with him. For research. The kids are asleep. It’s just us.
It’s research.
I open my kindle and pick the book that he had sent me the excerpt from.
In the book, the girl isn’t a virgin. So they do a lot things together that I can’t even imagine doing right now.
But I’m curious to see what Joshua will do. I find the last scene I read and clear my throat.
“No,” Joshua says. “Not out loud.”
“What?”
“Find the scene you want to read. Not the one you think I want to hear.”
“Okay.” I scroll through the chapters and find one I know intrigues me. I look up at him and he motions for me to read.
“Maya,” he murmured to her, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down her spine. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend I don’t want you.”
Her resolve crumbled at his words, the dam finally breaking. He crossed the room in three strides, meeting her halfway. His hands were on her instantly, one tangling in her hair, the other wrapping around her waist, pulling her flush against him. The heat of his body seeped into her own, igniting a fire that had been smoldering for far too long.
Joshua reaches for the spaghetti strap of my dress, and slips it down one shoulder.
Their lips crashed together in a desperate, hungry kiss.
Joshua takes the other side and lets is slip off my shoulder too.
His taste was intoxicating, Maya thought. A mix of rain and something uniquely Dom. She moaned into his mouth, feeling his answering growl vibrate through her. His hands roamed her body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake, and she arched into his touch, craving more.
Joshua leans forward, a piece of his brown hair slipping just above his eyes. His lips touch my shoulder in an open-mouthed kiss that sets my skin on fire. I swallow hard but keep reading, skipping ahead a bit.
He unclasped her bra, letting it fall away, and his mouth closed over one of her nipples, sucking gently.
Joshua does the same to my other shoulder. Marking me with his warm mouth.
Dom’s other hand slid down her body, slipping beneath the waistband of her panties, and she moaned as he found the slick heat between her thighs.
Joshua reaches for his shirt and lets it fall to the ground before reaching for the belt on his slacks and unbuckling them.
“Keep reading,” he says, when he notices he’s distracted me.
I clear my throat and lift the kindle up to my eyes. Just on the other side of it, I watch as he lets his pants fall to his ankles.
“You’re so wet,” Dom murmured, his voice filled with awe. “So ready for me.”
Maya could only nod, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps as he stroked her, his fingers driving her wild.
Joshua kneels in front of me, putting a hand on either side of my hips. He pushes the sundress up my thighs until he’s able to see my panties.
“Mmmm,” he makes a sound of approval. It’s guttural and feral. His eyes meet mine and I can see them saying, keep reading.
Keep reading?! How can I keep reading when I’m literally living out my fantasy right this moment.
I try to focus on reading the words on the page.
He dropped her onto the bed, positioning himself between her legs, and she felt the tip of him teasing her entrance. “Look at me, Maya,” he commanded. She opened her eyes, meeting his intense gaze. “Look at me when I fuck you.” He pushed inside her, filling her inch by delicious inch.
Joshua’s finger traces that spot between my legs as he trails kisses down my neck, onto my shoulder. I can’t focus. Not when he’s doing these things to my body.
I toss the kindle aside onto the bed, and put both my hands on either side of his face, pulling him closer to me. This time he doesn’t bother with the book.
He pushes me back onto the bed, our lips meeting. I’ve driven myself insane thinking of these lips on mine again.
He chuckles against my me. “What’s wrong, Princess? Couldn’t get into the book?”
I don’t answer him. I reach for the hem of my dress and pull it up over my head, tossing it aside so that I’m in nothing but my panties.
He sits back on his heels and looks at me.
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
I pull him closer to me.
“See what you don’t know. Is that I’ve imagined taking you on every surface of this house. And honestly, if Keelan and the kids weren’t here. I can’t say I wouldn’t have already.”
“Joshua,” I rasp.
His gaze meets mine. “Yeah, Princess.”
“Shut up.”
He smirks and stands up, sliding his boxer briefs down his thick thighs. I watch his erection spring forth and my mouth goes dry.
Oh…
“Then lay back so I can occupy my mouth with something else.”
I do as he says, leaning back on my elbows. And he bends and hooks his arms beneath my thighs, tugging me down to the edge of the bed.
He plants open-mouthed kisses up my thigh until he reaches the band of my panties. His tongue brushes out to lift it and he catches the fabric with his teeth. Lifting me up so he can drag them down my legs with his teeth.
He leans forward and inhales between my legs.
“I won’t hurt you, Princess. So you tell me if it’s too much.”
I nod and he brushes his tongue against my slit. My back arches up on it’s own as my body reacts to the feeling of his face against me. I feel the prickly stubble of his jaw against my inner thigh, the tight hold of his hands behind them, but it’s what he’s doing with his tongue that is pure ecstasy.
He reaches up and pushes my abdomen down into the bed, forcing me down and making me open my legs even wider for him. He growls out his approval as he ravages me. I’m going to lose it. I shoot my hands to his head, my fingers grabbing hold of his hair as I hold him in place.
Oh my god. He’s going to send me over the edge with his mouth alone. And just when I’m about to crest. He stops the tongue lashings on my clit.
“What are you doing?” I look down.
“Do you want me to keep eating you? Because I will, Princess. You taste fucking magical. Or… I can give you what you really want.” He fists his cock. “What do you prefer?”
There’s no way this is happening right now. And he thinks I can talk through this? Is he insane?
I gulp and pull him up to me. His broad frame envelopes my body as he climbs up to me. He hovers over me. Our mouths just inches apart.
“Would you like to taste what I taste?”
I nod, biting down on my lip.
He claims my mouth, splitting my lips open and dipping his tongue covered in my arousal, into my own mouth.
And as he does, he reaches down and makes circles on my clit. I respond sucking his tongue into me. I could taste him, and me on him, all night.
He softly pushes a finger at my entrance and I still.
“Does that hurt?” he rasps against my lips.
“No,” I breathe out.
He pushes further, watching my reaction closely as he does. I nod, giving him permission to keep going. He presses his finger all the way in and then slowly draws it out. He watches me come undone from his touch.
“So. Fucking. Beautiful,” he says, his voice low and husky.
His praise ignites a flurry in my belly. I like hearing it.
He withdraws his finger and reaches into the nightstand, quickly producing a condom. He rips it open with his mouth and slides it over his shaft. Then he leans forward and looks me in the eye.
“You’re sure about this?”
I swallow again and nod squeaking out a yes.
He notches himself at my entrance and for a split second I wonder if I’ll be able to take him.
As if he can read my mind, he says, “You’ll take me so well, Princess. We’ll go slow.” He presses into me. He’s slow and gentle. Ever so gentle. But still, It burns. The sensation isn’t like anything I’ve imagined. Like being cut open, invaded–in the best way.
The moment he starts to slide into me, I know I’m ruined. His eyes are on me measuring my reaction as he drives himself deeper into me. My body welcoming him.
His brows are cinched together as he slowly pushes forward. “Breathe. Relax and breathe.”
I didn’t realize I wasn’t breathing. That might be why I feel so lightheaded. I take in a deep breath and when I exhale my legs fall apart a little more.
Joshua pushes in further and I feel every inch of the invasion. I welcome it. I savor it.
When he’s fully seated in me, he lets out a long, “Fuck.”
I gulp. My core is on fire as I get used to the fullness of him.
When he withdraws, I feel my soul reach for him to come back.
I shouldn’t want him this badly. It goes against everything I’ve ever stood for. I tell my own sisters not to ever let a man take something from you that you aren’t willing to give.
But that’s just it–isn’t it? I’m choosing to give myself to Joshua. Despite his history. Despite our inevitable future. He might be a mistake, but he's a mistake I'm willing to own up to.
I’m choosing this moment and I’m choosing it with him. So when he pushes in again, I meet him with my mouth greedy with the need for him.
He kisses me back, slow thrusts, constant pressure. He knows exactly how to make my body sing for him.
His hands explore my skin and I reach for him, nails digging into his back. There’s nothing that feels wrong about us twisted into each other like this. It feels like it was always meant to be. Like it was always meant to be him.
He drops his head into the space between my neck and my shoulder. I breathe him in. And he does the same. Slow tantalizing movements. He reaches a hand between us and finds my clit. I instantly react to the touch, pushing myself into him more.
“You feel incredible, Cassidy. You have no idea.”
His movements pick up and I feel that flame ignite into a full on wildfire. The wave crests and I moan out his name. He quickly covers my mouth pumping into me until he has to muffle his own cry of pleasure and stills between my legs.
We don’t move for a moment. Allowing each other to recover. He slowly slides himself out of me and I feel what it feels like to miss something you know is meant for you to have.
He cleans us up and slides into the bed, covering us with his comforter.
“Stay,” he whispers into the back of my neck.
And I can’t tell if he means to stay the night. Here in his bed. Naked with him.
Or forever.
I kind of wish it were both.