21. Ivy
My palms dampened as I stood outside a bar Tuesday evening. Esme ensured me this was a rite of passage, but my nerves were a mess. It was ironic almost. That I could stand in a room full of football guys and not feel a blip of worry. But attending Callum’s girls’ night with him?
So many nerves.
Rationally, I knew he’d never let them make me feel weird or less than or uncomfortable. He surrounded himself with good people, but there was a huge difference between high school and now.
Like the fact we were dating? And sleeping together? And he consumed my every thought?
“I can do this.” I wiped my hands on my jeans and adjusted the crop top. I met Lorelei already and really liked her. If she’d be there, then I could talk to her. Damn. For someone who didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, it seemed so wild to me that Callum had so many.
How did he have the time? How did he have the brain capacity to be a good friend to them?
“Ivy, hey!”
I spun and smiled at Lorelei. She waved at me with a huge grin. Her curly hair went in every direction, and she just looked like a breath of fresh air. “Hi.”
Shit. My face flushed. My voice came out a little timid. I refused to be timid. “Good to see you again.”
“No, no, that’s my line.” She walked up and weaved her arm through mine. “It is so good to see you. Are you kidding me? Callum’s long-lost best friend turned into the only woman he’s ever been this into? We are obsessed with you.”
I snorted.
“Lo.” Callum’s familiar voice neared us, and a large hand landed on my waist.
It didn’t matter that we’d kissed a lot and slept together. The feel of his hand, the possessive grip, sent my heart racing and my stomach swooping. He bent down and kissed my neck before pulling me out of Lo’s grip.
“Hey, baby.” He rested his chin on my head. “Is Lo being nice to you?”
“Callum, I am always nice.”
“You are spicy. That’s different.”
Lo rolled her eyes, but her smile never left her face. “Ivy and I get along just fine. Was just telling her how nice it is to see you obsessed with her.”
“Oh yeah, well, that’s true.” Callum tugged me closer. My heart swelled at the motion. “So, the girls’ nights are fun. There is an ongoing agenda that everyone has to report on.”
“It’s ridiculous but so fun.” Lo opened the door to the bar and ushered us in. Callum kept his arm and hand on me the entire time.
Even as we slid into the booth, he made sure to press right against me so our thighs touched. I knew attraction dipped. It was fact. The hot fire would simmer eventually, but I wasn’t sure it’d be the case with Callum. Everything he did made my body react.
“Okay, ladies, this is a big day. I brought my girlfriend with me. This is Ivy Emerson. Ivy, baby, this is Vee, Ale, Mack, and Lo. They are the ones who came up with the summer playbook that brought Dean and Mack together.”
“Oh, yeah, the summer bucket list. I heard about that. How creative.” I smiled at the girls, trying to be brave. It was intimidating. They were so beautiful and knew Callum well. There were four of them, all sitting around the table with huge smiles and inside jokes. The banter and teasing was so easy it was almost intimidating. Mack had purple hair at the ends, Lo had dark curls and sat next to her. Ale and Vee were on the other side, bickering about some TV show.
Was the weird feeling jealousy? I didn’t think so. Callum never left room for jealousy to creep in, plus, he made it clear he was in this with me. I couldn’t pinpoint the blip of unease deep in my gut, so I ignored it.
“So glad you’re here, Ivy. We love Callum but love seeing him happy with you even more.” Ale, a girl with dark black hair and an easy smile, said. “I’m the group master today, so I created the topics. Just join in as you please. This is low stress.”
“Not true. Last week we argued about the best dog type,” Mack said. “And prior to that, we got into it about the best sitcom.”
“We can’t scare Ivy away!”
“You couldn’t scare me away,” I blurted out. “I work with the football team every day. They are…” I shut my eyes. “They are the worst.”
Lo’s eyes sparkled. “Ooo, dish on that, please. Give us the tea.”
Callum rested his hand on my thigh and squeezed, almost like a comforting, I got you. He knew having a group of gal pals was intimidating to me. “Ivy will not be sharing any information from the team. That is confidential.”
“Do not speak for me, Callum. I will tell if I want.”
“I love her.” Mack leaned onto her elbows, smiling at me with wide eyes. “Ivy, tell us an embarrassing story about Callum from his youth.”
“No,” Callum said. He shook his head. “She will not.”
“She will.” I poked his side, making him yelp. It was a ridiculous sound. “When we were teenagers?—”
“Ivy, baby, the thing about these girls is yes, they are awesome, but they will hold whatever it is you’re going to say over my head forever.” Callum’s lips quirked. “They look sweet, but they aren’t.”
“Shut up, O’Toole. Tell us the deets!” Mack shouted.
“Now I feel so much pressure!” I covered my face with hands, laughing as I got more comfortable. “Gah, okay. Once, he locked himself out of his car?—”
“It was one time!”
“And he called his parents. He was freaking out a little. Kinda pacing around the car like a wild animal. Pretty sure you growled.”
“I did not growl.” He rolled his eyes and moved his hand from my thigh to around my shoulders. “I don’t like this.”
“I love this.” Lo hit the table with a fist. “Okay, so he’s a feral animal walking around his car…”
“Yeah, and his coach is pissed at him for being late, but his practice gear was in there, so he tried to break a window to get in. He couldn’t wait for another solution.”
“And how helpful were you during this Ivy?”
“Don’t turn this on me. I asked you if you checked ALL the pockets in your bag. And you said, verbatim. I’m not a dumbass, Ivy.” I paused, shrugged, and laughed. “Turns out, he was. He tried throwing a brick, a rock, and then kicking one of the windows, but it didn’t work.”
Callum covered his face with his hands. “It was a low moment.”
“They were in his bag the entire time,” I said, finishing the story. “Which I found, because I knew him, and he’d never check every single pocket.”
“This is amazing.” Ale smiled and marked something off on a paper. “I had on here, one embarrassing story about Callum on here. Thanks for providing, Ivy.”
“Anytime.” I grinned, loving how they teased him with such care.
The girls smiled at me while Callum nudged my leg with his, and the blip of worry eased. It might’ve been strange to some girlfriends if their man attended a girls’ night, but it wasn’t with Callum. These girls were fun. “I feel like it’s only fair if you share one about me to even it out.”
“You don’t have any embarrassing stories.” Callum scoffed.
“Uh, yes I do. Like the time my dress ripped at homecoming? I had to leave!”
“Sure, but then you and I left and got fast food and ate it on top of my car? Then we watched stars in the cornfield? Yeah, that was one of my favorite nights. Not embarrassing.” He waved his hand in the air like it was nothing.
He’d abandoned his date to help me out. I still remembered the girl’s crushed face that the Callum O’Toole was leaving homecoming to help his best friend. I had never heard him say that was one of his favorite nights. That was… wow. My throat tightened a little.
“Okay, yeah, it ended up great, sure. What about the time I tripped in the cafeteria and spilled food everywhere?”
“Because your ankle was hurting you and you skipped physical therapy? I threatened anyone who laughed at you that I’d punch them in the face. You shouldn’t have felt embarrassed at all. Who laughed at you?”
“Oh shit.” Mack sat up straighter. “Callum, you had it bad.”
“My god, this explains so much.”
“He’s been like this forever.”
Callum stared at me, his blue eyes intense as he tilted his head to the side. “I never want you feeling embarrassed for any reason. If you do, I’ll argue against it.”
My stomach swooped. “You know you can’t argue feelings I have, right?”
“I’ll still try.”
“He is down bad.” Vee clapped. “Ivy, did you have any clue in high school?”
“Any idea about what?”
“That Callum was so into you?”
“Oh.” My face heated. “I don’t think he did… or that’s my answer. It never crossed my mind. He was my best friend, and I knew he cared about me. But not like… yeah. Safe to say it still seems surreal that he could’ve been into me then.”
“I’ve had boyfriends in high school who did not do or say things like that. I’m just saying. Pretty sure our boy was in love with you then.” Vee held her hands in the air. “It’s romantic if you think about it.”
“Shall we turn the tables and ask you about your love life, Vee?” Callum’s eyes got that mischievous glint. “How is your celibacy going?”
“Touché. Let’s get some drinks.”
The girls went to the bar, offering to grab Callum and I a drink. That gave us a moment alone, one I desperately needed. I wanted to make sure we were good. That he really felt that way about me all those years ago.
“Hi.”
He bent forward and kissed me. It was way too quick, and I wanted more. “You look incredible. I love your shirts that show your stomach like this.”
He dragged a finger down the side, making me shiver. A line appeared on his forehead, a clear sign of worry. “Are you okay? They aren’t too much, right?”
Callum cared about these girls. They mattered to him.
“No. They aren’t too much at all. I like them a lot. They give you shit, which I always appreciate.”
‘Yeah, they are fun. This sounds… they were the closest thing I could find to getting you back. I know that sounds weird, but I’m home when I’m with you. It’s hard to explain, but I’ve searched for that same contented feeling the last three years, and the closest I got to it was with them.”
I squeezed his hand, noting the tension around his eyes. “They are clearly such good friends, and I’m glad you found them. That’s how I feel about Esme and her brother.”
“But I’m selfish, Ivy. I don’t want you needing them. I want you needing just me. I know I sound crazy, but when I’m around you, I feel like I can fucking fly, and I want you near me all the time. Even today. I thought about just following you class to class just to hang out. See what you thought about a lecture or ask you your opinions on crocs. Or to show you this TikTok where they are showing alligators frozen in a lake! It’s so cool. I figured you could add that fun fact to your running monologue.”
“You are…” I laughed. “I love how you are, my crazy man.”
“I am yours.” He cupped my chin and gently ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “This isn’t the most romantic setting, so I’m gonna regret this when we tell our kids this story one day, but?—”
“Kids? Callum! What the hell.” I blinked a lot, absolutely unsure why or where he was going with this. That was so fast! Kids! What! Gah!
“Yeah. Kids.” He frowned, but he didn’t get a chance to speak again. Lo returned with two beers for us, along with the rest of the gang. Callum’s frown line remained for an extra beat before he masked his face and put on the party-guy persona. I didn’t like seeing his shield go up from my reaction.
I knew this version of him well. I thought he was funny all the time. He was charismatic and such a good listener, but he put the shield up when he was protecting himself. Was he shielding himself from me? What the actual fuck.
We’d been together-together for three to four days. Talking about kids was way too fast. Way too soon. Way too… wait. It made sense for Callum to go hard. He did everything a thousand percent. So it was normal for him to think about that already. But dropping the kids comment in a bar was a lot. I mean, the thought of seeing little Callums running around had my face getting all hot, but we had been together for one minute. That was it!
Ale went through the agenda items, listing them off one by one, like how we felt about Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift, or what we thought about the playboy professor we always saw at the bar. But I noted Callum’s stiff shoulders. Guilt ate at me. I always dreamed about touching him when I wanted, but I could now. It gave me such a thrill to reach over and rub his shoulder. He leaned into my touch like he was starved for it, and I made a promise to touch him more.
I ensured him I’d let him know if I ever had a blip of doubt, but it was hard when I trusted him again, yet I still held myself back. A small part of me kept my heart locked up, even though I knew the walls were going down day by day. I didn’t know why. Because the fact he’d ghosted me fucked me up so much, even though I forgave him for it? Would time heal that wound?
I hoped so. Because I wanted to give my all to him. As I listened to his friends and him laugh, I played with the ends of his hair. They got into a heated debate about what was considered cheating versus flirting, and they all asked me a question I didn’t hear. I was daydreaming about Callum and I in the future, even though he was right next to me. Cool. I was officially that kind of girlfriend.
“What was it?”
“Do you consider a kiss cheating? Like a fun, plant one on your friend ‘cause you’re partying, but it wasn’t steamy?”
“Uh, yeah, I would.”
“Good answer. You’re not kissing a single fucking person besides me.” Callum’s nostrils flared.
“So funny coming from you, Callum, the king of hookups.” Vee frowned. “Shit, no, that came out wrong. Ivy, I’m so sorry.”
A rock formed in my gut, but her words weren’t untrue. The tension at the table rose instantly, and I needed to rectify it. The night had been so great. “It’s okay. No, don’t stress. I know Callum was a bit of a slut.”
Mack snorted and held up her beer. “As someone dating a reformed playboy, cheers to you.”
I smiled and took a sip of beer, but I could feel everyone’s attention on me. After a long sip, I set the beer down hard and narrowed my eyes. “Stop staring at me. I’ve known Callum longer than any of you, so there is nothing you could say that would surprise me or change my feelings on him. So please. We can talk about Callum’s past without worrying about me freaking out. I promise you. Now carry on, Vee. Why do you think kissing isn’t cheating? Do you have some ex-baggage we should dive into?”
“Oh my god, I love you, Ivy!” Ale grabbed my hand and squealed. “She is perfect. You’re invited every Tuesday, forever.”
“Yes. Agreed. Fuck yeah. I knew I liked you. Callum, want to head to the bathroom for like thirty minutes?”
“Absolutely the fuck not.” He grinned and stared at me with pride and love swirling in his eyes. “But to your comment, Ale, yes, my Ivy is perfect.”
My Ivy.
“Alright, this is too much for me. Kissing, cheating, Taylor Swift. What’s the next topic please?” Vee said.
They followed my lead, and for the next two hours, we laughed, drank, and I got to know Callum’s friends well. They were incredible. I was a slow burn when it came to making friends, and they made me feel part of the pack in a few hours. There was no second-guessing if I said something weird or that could’ve been taken the wrong way. They were accepting and thoughtful and kind. I had an extended invitation to their girls’ nights, and I was brave enough to ask if I could bring my best friend Esme.
They squealed, and now Esme and I were going the following week.
That felt surreal.
A group of girl friends who were supportive of each other, kind, but also gave each other shit. I loved them.
“Yeah, they loved you too, baby.”
“Didn’t mean to have a think out loud.”
Callum and I strolled hand-in-hand back to my apartment. He was going to walk me back and then head to the house to hang with the guys. That was when it hit me. “Oh. No.”
“What is it?” Callum stopped and immediately faced me. “Is it your leg? Arm?”
“No, you mother hen.” I swayed left and right. “I’m… I don’t… drink. I’m tipsy. Shit, how much did I drink?”
Callum blinked as his jaw tightened. “You had four beers. Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t… I should’ve counted.”
“Not your job to take care of me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Ivy. It is. We’re a team now. I need you to take good care of yourself when I’m not around, but when I am? I’m taking care of you.” He ran a hand over my shoulder and arm. “Do you have water and pretzels still?”
I nodded. “I love when you touch me there. It makes me feel special.”
“This?” He kneaded the spot between my neck and shoulder.
“Ohhhhh yeah.” I rocked back and forth, swaying from the drinks and how good it felt. “I always saw you do this on your dates and wondered what’d it feel like to be yours. I like it a lot.”
“You’ve always been mine.” He took a deep breath. “I’m staying with you.”
“You have plans though.” I pouted and then giggled at myself. My lips tingled in an odd way. It had to do with the beer. Yeah, that was science. I’d read about this. “Did you know drinking alcohol can lower your blood sugar?”
“I did.”
“It also effects women and men differently because of something in our stomach. Man, I can’t remember. Alcohol also damages your memory and brain capacity. Oh, I love these flowers.” I needed to smell them. We were somewhere near my building where there were pretty bushes lining the road. They were royal blue. “They remind me of your eyes.”
“Yeah, I’m definitely cancelling my plans.” Callum chuckled and intertwined our fingers. “I’ve never seen drunk Ivy before. I really want to learn everything about you.”
“You know everything now that you’ve slept with me.” I hiccupped, then laughed. “Your face is cute.”
“I don’t know everything yet, but I will. Like…how grumpy are you gonna be in the morning?”
“I won’t be!” I pointed a finger at his chest, but he just caught it. “So wait, you’re staying the night with me?”
He nodded, a shadow crossing his eyes. “Is that okay?”
“Yes!” I jumped onto him. He was so tall and strong, and I loved being held by him. Oh, yes, when he wrapped his arms around me and ran his nose along my neck, it was perfection. “I love sleeping with you.”
“And this is the best feeling in the world, seeing you happy. Now, let’s get some snacks and hydrate your cute ass.”