14. Eloise
14
ELOISE
W hatever oils Cal rubbed all over me last night, coupled with the pills and the massage that turned into more than just a back rub, have me feeling better than expected. I think he was right, and I didn’t fall on my tailbone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sore but not as bad as I expected. However, I almost wish I were. The physical pain might distract me from the mental anguish I currently feel after how things ended last night. Sure, I had a mind-blowing happy ending, but the echo of the door slamming as he retreated to the bathroom is still ringing in my ears. My words say no, I’m not ready, and then I go and blur the lines. I know I’m a fucking mess, but I’m trying. I told him what I think about Blair and my thoughts about his dad. I didn’t tell him everything, but I told him enough, or at least enough for now.
When I get out of the bath, I’m surprised to see Cal still asleep in bed. I’m not sure what time he came out of the bathroom. All I know is that I was fast asleep because I didn’t feel him join me. He said he was sleeping in the bed with me from here on out, and my response was feeble at best, and that’s because where he’s at now is exactly where I want him to be. My eyes flash to the clock on the bedside table, and I see it’s 7:00 a.m. He sets his alarm for seven forty-five every day to make sure he has enough time to eat and shower before driving to practice, which gives me an idea. I’m going to make him breakfast. Not wanting to waste any more time, I think quickly and snag my robe off the back of the bathroom door. If I hurry up, I have enough time to cook some eggs and bacon. Isn’t apology bacon a thing?
“You’re making me breakfast?”
His words startle me as I pull the last piece of bacon out of the pan.
“Yeah, why not?” I answer coyly before turning to see him leaning shirtless against the refrigerator, his arms crossed. My insides tingle when my eyes land on his big hands and the fingers that brought me delicious pleasure last night.
“I assumed you went next door when I woke, and you were no longer in the bed.”
I roll my lips. “About last night… actually, why don’t you have a shirt on?” Without a shirt, focusing on words is going to be hard. The arms, the tattoo, the hands. I open a cabinet for plates before my mind gets carried away.
“This is my kitchen, but I could ask you the same question. That number you have on barely covers your ass.”
I roll my eyes as I set the plates on the counter before turning back to him a little flustered. “That’s because I was trying to sneak out here and do something nice for you. Whether you’ve been here or not, you’ve managed to get me breakfast every morning since I arrived. I was just trying to return the favor and apologize.”
His eyes narrow and I see the muscles in his arms flex when he says, “Apologize for what exactly?”
“Last night. That wasn’t fair of me to put you in that position.”
He opens a drawer and pulls out two forks as he steps closer. “And what position exactly is that?”
“One where I shut you out with my words and tell you no, only to turn around and use you, selfishly taking what you’ll give me while giving you nothing in return.”
His eyes stay locked on mine, and he takes another step forward as I take one back. “I’m a big boy.” His hand reaches for my hip, and he pulls me into him. “I don’t do anything I don’t want to, and last night wasn’t about me. It was about you.” He tilts my chin up. “I’ll gladly let you use my fingers until you’re ready for more.” His mood feels different than the one that slammed the door last night, and I internally scold myself. I hate being the reason we run so hot and cold. His amber eyes latch onto mine, and I see his unspoken forgiveness as his mouth closes the distance and covers mine. I can taste the mint of his toothpaste on his lips before his tongue dips in, gently caressing mine and tenderly teasing me with the promise of more, should I say the word. Right before I fall under his spell, he’s pulling away. I know exactly what he’s doing. He’s edging me to the point where I cave, unable to resist what he knows I want. HIM. “How are you feeling?”
“I was stiff and sore when I woke, but after taking a hot soak and some more medicine, it’s now a dull ache. I might rub more of that oil on my lower back before I get dressed.”
“I can assist you with that now if you’d like.”
“Aren’t you hungry?” I doubt he ate after I left the way I did yesterday, and I know he eats a lot. His body demands it.
“Starved,” he says, his hand skimming down the curve of my ass where he grabs a handful of cheek. His lips find the side of my neck, and I’m putty in his hands, every bit as starved as he is. Last night didn’t take the edge off. His touch only fanned the flames, turning smoldering embers into a blazing fire. My back is suddenly against the pantry, and his hard length is pressing into my stomach.
As he nips and sucks his way up my jaw in search of my mouth, my fingers find the waist of his sweatpants. “You’re home and wearing these.” I snap the band. “I’m starting to think sleeping nude is a hoax.”
“Is that your way of telling me you want to see my cock?” His lips tease mine before he says, “Because you should know you never have to ask. If you want it, take it.”
My hand snakes down and wraps around his length before his words have a chance to settle, and he groans, slamming both hands on the pantry behind me.
“Fuck, blondie. You’re killing me.”
I stroke him from root to tip, and as his amber eyes darken, he lays his forehead to mine.
“Tell me what you want.” His lips cover mine before I can answer, and I’m desperate for more. He just asked me what I want and I don’t know what to say because right now I want everything.
When he releases my mouth, his eyes search mine for an answer, and I say, “You.”
The next thing I know, he’s lifting me, and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist, putting my throbbing core in perfect alignment with his hard length, a position that doesn’t go unnoticed by him. He presses into me, his intent clear.
“You want this?” His eyes pierce mine, and I see the torture there. I hate being the reason for it, especially when I’ve only ever wanted him.
“I know what I’m asking.” I grind back down on his length, and my stupid injury has my forehead pinching together as I stifle a whimper.
“Shit,” he curses, spinning around and setting me on the island.
He runs his hands through his hair and tries to step back, but I grab his pants before he can. “Don’t. I’m okay. We can go slow.” It’s better that we do for more reasons than one.
Leaning in, he places a hand on either side of me, and I can see his struggle. He’s been waiting so long to hear these words and share this moment with me again that he’s scared to take it. “Eloise, I want this, but I need you to look me in the eye and tell me you really want this because less than eight hours ago, this wasn’t on the table. My patience is thin, and every day it gets harder than the last not to just take it.” His hand runs through my hair, and his eyes trace its descent before returning to mine. “Forget about the type of man you want and tell me what you need because that’s the man I want to be.”
I close the distance between our mouths and kiss his lips softly. “I need the man standing in front of me?—”
His mouth crashes to mine as his hands grip the sides of my hips in a kiss that feels like a promise. A kiss that feels like home. The passion and chemistry that’s buzzing between us isn’t just lust; it’s heart and soul; it feels like the staying kind, the kind that will survive anything. His lips abandon mine and trail down my neck, skimming over my collarbone and finally landing on my breast, where his hot mouth latches onto my nipple as he slips my robe off one shoulder. He groans deep and the sound reverberates through my body, and for a few short seconds, I melt under his touch until I feel him slip off the other side of my robe to expose my other breast, and suddenly, I’m reminded I’m not the girl I once was.
“Wait…” I push at his shoulders.
His wild eyes find mine. “Blondie,” he warns.
“No, it’s not that. I want this. I just want to keep the robe on… it’s chilly,” I try to add casually.
He pinches one of my nipples between his thumb and forefinger. “I promise the last thing you’re going to be is cold. I want to see you.”
I know he’s going to see it eventually. I can’t hide it forever, but it doesn’t make me less self-conscious about him seeing the gnarly scar that wasn’t there the last time we were together.
“It’s just that”—I break eye contact and squeeze the robe tight—“everything’s not how it once was.”
He grabs my chin, bringing my eyes back to his. “If this is about the thin white lines on your hips, I saw them last night, and I think they’re sexy as fuck.”
I shake my head. “It’s not about those.”
His eyes narrow on mine, and he releases my chin before taking a step back and dropping his sweatpants. His heavy cock springs free, the tip already glistening with arousal. “This is what those endless baby-blue eyes, which see straight through to my soul, the pretty smile that melts my heart, and that smart mouth, the one that dares to tell me no even when she wants to say yes, do to me… this is what you do to me. Before I ever set you on that countertop, you felt me. Drop the robe, and see for yourself how whatever you believe makes you imperfect isn’t only perfection, it’s beautiful.”
I release a deep breath and pull at the belt of my robe, letting it pool around me on the island, putting my body on full display for him. He takes his time, his eyes slowly drifting over every inch, memorizing every last detail until he reaches the hideous scar. I had to be cut twice. Adler was bigger than expected, and the initial cut wasn’t big enough. The second his eyes land on it, a few things happen; his lips thin as his face morphs into a scowl. I drop my eyes, not able to look at the disappointment I see there, and when I do, I see his fists are clenched, and the length he was determined to show me twitches. He steps into the island, and his fingertips slowly drag up my thigh before finding my stomach and leisurely tracing over the scar. “This body birthed my son. You brought a life into this world.” His finger drifts from my stomach, up my chest, and finally to my chin. “I’m proud of you. A scar means you’re stronger than before. It means you learned a lesson and triumphed through pain. If you see anything before you that speaks differently, it’s not disgust. It’s sadness and regret that I didn’t get to watch this body change, that I didn’t get to hold you when it was hard, that I wasn’t there the day you got this scar and your life was forever changed.”
A tear escapes. “I’m sorry. I’m totally ruining this.”
His thumb is quick to swipe it away. “It’s just a little water, and you’re not ruining anything. I’m stripped down, baring my soul to its keeper. I’m right where I want to be.” The mouth I’ve dreamed of kissing daily for the rest of my life slowly fills in the cracks, and the worry I felt disappears like it never existed as we melt into one. The heat and passion burning before sizzle as our desire to reconnect in all ways turns frenzied. He nips my lip as he pulls away. “I’m ready for breakfast, blondie. Lie down.”
I lean back on my palms, and he starts trailing open-mouthed kisses down my chest, causing every hair on my body to stand at attention. His tongue circles one of my nipples, deliciously sending tendrils of heat straight to my core before he pinches it between his teeth. I hiss at the unexpected sensation.
“Down,” he commands. The second I do as he says, he’s pulling me to the edge of the island and throwing my legs over his shoulders before settling between my thighs. There’s an unexpected pause, and I’m about to ask what’s wrong before I feel his tongue gently lick me straight up my center.
“Fuck,” we both say in unison.
“Oh, I’m gonna do that too,” he says before spearing me with his tongue.
“Cal…” I gasp. The sensation of having him like this almost too much. I’ve dreamed about these types of reunions alone in my room for years, and the way his tongue is hungrily taking its fill tells me he has too. His hand finds mine, and he laces our fingers together and my walls come crashing down as I barrel toward my orgasm.
“Mmm,” he groans loudly, holding me flush against his mouth, lapping up every drop and licking me through the aftershocks. “Best fucking breakfast,” he says, placing a kiss on my thigh before standing to his full height and lining his cock with my entrance. His hooded gaze finds mine, and I know he’s giving me a chance to say no.
“I want this, Cal. I need you,” I confirm.
He runs his tip through my folds, and the sensation of feeling him like this has me wanton with need. This is our first time being together in six long years. He’s savoring it, but I need more.
“Cal…” I plead.
“God, you have no idea how surreal this feels. Not only do I have my girl back, she’s begging for my cock.” His hands find my thighs and he brings them together, slowly sliding his calloused hands up my calves until he has my legs positioned right where he wants them on his shoulders. His jaw goes slack as he dips his broad head in, watching his tip disappear slightly before running it back up to my clit.
“In case I forget to mention it later. You can make me breakfast anytime you like.”
“Stop…” I smile playfully but only for a second because in the next, my lips are forming an O as this time he pushes in further. This time, he’s not stopping.
“You feel so good,” he says, pushing in and meeting resistance. “You’re so damn tight.” He pulls back. “Tell me you’ve missed this. Tell me this hasn’t been your every other dream for the past six years.”
I’m momentarily rendered speechless as he stretches me, deepening his reach, the sting warming my body. I lick my lips. “What were your other dreams?”
“Making you my wife.” His words smash any remaining remnants of the wall that once stood to pieces, but as usual, fate’s a fickle bitch because he doesn’t even fully seat himself before there’s a loud banging on the front door. He pauses, and I strain to view the door, but he speaks softly. “Don’t worry, it’s locked. If we don’t say anything, whoever it is will go away.” He kisses the inside of my calf, and I feel his cock jerk inside of me.
The heavy knock sounds again. “Open up, Callum. I know you’re in there. It’s time for your one-on-one with your new girlfriend.”
“Fuck.” He pulls out quickly. “That’s my coach.”
My eyes widen.
“I can’t say no to him, and since he mentioned the one-on-one, that means Blair is on the other side of that door, too.” He reaches for my robe before I do, helping me cover up before calling out, “I’ll be there in just a minute.” He pulls up his sweats and helps me off the counter. “Go in the bedroom. I’ll get rid of them.”