24. Eloise
24
ELOISE
“ A dler!” I exclaim excitedly when my little man runs into my room and climbs onto my bed. “I’m so glad you’re here,” I say as I kiss the mop of blond hair on his head and hold him tight. The accident tonight was eye-opening. We never know when our card will get pulled, and I want to spend every day of my life living it to the fullest with the people I love the most. “I’ve missed you so much, buddy. Who brought you?”
“Grandpa,” he says, pulling back to look at me. “Does your head hurt?” he asks as he brings his small hand to the side of my face marred with cuts and bruises.
“It did, but the doctors are taking really good care of me and I’m not in pain.”
“There you are,” my dad says, rushing around the corner. “When the elevator doors opened, he bolted.”
I look at Adler, and he shrugs. “I knew the room number.”
My father enters and comes to my bedside, then places a kiss on my forehead before he examines the side of my face. “That’s a bit more than a scratch. I need to talk with Callum. He wants my daughter’s heart, and then he?—”
“Dad,” I hiss and look at Adler. I don’t want him to hear his grandfather speak ill of his father. Plus, this isn’t Cal’s fault. If anyone has more fault here, it’s likely him.
“No, it’s okay, Eloise.”
“Dad, you’re here too!” Adler bounces off the bed and Cal catches him as he jumps into his arms.
“Hey, champ.” He gives him a bear hug, squeezing him tight like he’s the most precious gift in the world before moving him to his hip and returning his sullen amber gaze back to my father. “I deserve whatever punishment Elias sees fit,” Cal says, stepping into the room from the en suite where I had finally convinced him to clean up his face. “But first, let me say this. Whatever words you’re planning to give me, save them. I’ve already ripped my heart out and stomped on it a thousand times since almost taking a life that could never be replaced. Your daughter and my son are my whole world. They’re my reason for existing. Everything I do is for them. Tonight, I messed up…” His eyes drift to mine, and I see regret before he sets his jaw firmly. “I may have been driving the car tonight, but you were steering our destiny.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
My eyes widen into saucers. “Cal, now is not the time.”
“No.” He points to the floor. “Now is exactly the right time. I refuse to spend one more day living in the past, trying to uncover secrets when we can go directly to the source. My mother might not be able to talk, but your parents can. I almost lost you today. This is nonnegotiable, Eloise.”
“I get it, I do, believe me, but I still think there’s a better”—I cough into my hand—“ahem, time,” and raise my eyebrows as I try to get him to understand why talking with Adler in the room is not it.
He sets Adler down, clearly perturbed, just as Dash enters. “Hey, I got here as fast as I could.” He shoves Cal’s duffle bag into his chest and comes to my side. “Someone had me running errands before coming straight here.”
“Dash,” Adler shrieks with excitement. “It’s a reunion.”
“Hey, bruh.” He musses his hair. It’s their thing. We ran into Dash at the store one afternoon, and out of nowhere, Adler called him, bruh. Dash looked at him quizzically, and Adler just shrugged and said that’s what everybody at school says. Dash laughed and it’s been the way he greets him ever since. “How’ve you been? Taking care of Gramps here?” He squeezes my dad’s shoulder. “Elias, good to see you.”
“Knock, knock,” a nurse says, entering the room.
“Please tell me those are discharge papers in your hand,” I ask hopefully, wanting to go home with my family now that they’re all here.
“Since you did lose consciousness at the accident site and you experienced confusion, getting names mixed up and not remembering you’re married, the doctor wants to keep you overnight for observation.”
“You’re married!” Adler squeals excitedly, and my face falls slightly, not wanting to break his heart.
The nurse pauses as my father and Dash look at me with puzzled expressions. My father reaches for my hand and holds it up, examining the diamond Cal slipped on me in the ambulance, one I didn’t have the foresight to remove before unplanned visitors arrived. The move quickly has me forgetting about the ring and my unmarried status when his hiked-up sleeve has another memory crashing into the forefront of my mind. It can’t be. It’s not possible. Flashbacks of piggybacking down the mountain on Dash’s back as he carried me back to the car a few weeks ago flick across my mind. I close my eyes and try to recall precisely how it looked. I knew the mark I’d seen behind Dash’s ear looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it, and now I know why. I’ve seen it a thousand times, but I never would have thought he’d have it in common with my father. I know I hit my head hard tonight, but this can’t be a coincidence. Can it?
“There must be a mix-up. I never received a call asking for permission.” My father’s comment breaks my trance, and my eyes instinctively dart up to Dash. He said he couldn’t see his birthmark, but he knows it exists and I told him the shape. Does he see what I see, or am I once again spiraling with information overload? His face is impassive, and I’m starting to think that staying here another night for observation wouldn’t be the worst idea. I feel like I knocked a screw loose. Dash is younger than me by a year, and I know my father wouldn’t have cheated on my mother. There’s no damn way we are related. I would have known if my parents had another child. They wouldn’t give up one of their own… Would they?
“Well, I was… I mean…” Cal stumbles over his words. “I just thought?—”
“I’m just messing with you. It’s about damn time.” He pulls my hand to his lips and places a kiss on the back, a move that should settle my anxiety, but it’s too late. My increased heart rate can’t be hidden when I’m hooked up to a heart monitor.
“Ma’am, are you feeling okay?” the nurse asks as the heart rate monitor I’m attached to spikes. She rushes to the bed, and Cal swoops up Adler to give her better access.
“I’m fine.” I lick my lips and try to cover for my racing heart setting off the monitor. “I was just thinking about everything that happened tonight.” I push my head back against the pillows. “I know how lucky I am to be here.” That’s not total bullshit. I was given a second chance tonight, a fresh start of sorts, because any bit of trepidation that lingered was erased after the accident.
“That’s understandable. The best thing you can do right now is rest. Visiting hours end at ten. If your husband wants to stay, we’ll get him a wristband.”
“Oh, I’ll be staying. You can get on that now,” Cal chimes in without pause.
She smiles, and her cheeks tinge the slightest shade of crimson when her eyes connect with his. The nurse knows precisely who he is, and his battered face only adds to his appeal. “I’ll be back at ten with your wristband,” she says as she takes her leave.
“Dad, I need some answers.”
“So do I. How about we start with this.” He lifts my hand. “When did you two make everything official? I figured you’d at least have a small wedding.”
“We’re not married. That part I didn’t have wrong in the ambulance.”
Adler’s eyes flick between mine and Cal’s. “But you’re wearing the ring, so you’re going to get married, right?”
“Well… your dad still hasn’t asked me?—”
“Here,” Cal interjects, pulling a book from the bag Dash brought. “I want you to read something.” He swallows hard. “Your dad should see it too.”
The book is thin and has floral binding, and the title on the front cover reads: A book of flowers. But when I flip open the first page, I quickly see that it has nothing to do with flowers. It’s a discreet journal, just like Cal’s playbook. My mouth drops open. “Is this your mother’s?”
“Yes.” His brows tug together, and I can tell letting someone else touch her book, let alone read her words, is hard. This is all he has of her. “There’s a silk bookmark marking the entry I’d like you to read.”
I find the sage ribbon and turn to the page.
The Play
The plan was to get pregnant at the same time and have mini-mes and endless girl days. I got pregnant first, and when we found out it was a boy, she said, “Great, Thelma, you know I’ve been wishing, praying, and manifesting a little girl. I already have a boy.” We both laughed, but she could tell I had already been beating myself up about it. I’m beyond excited to be pregnant, and I already love my little boy, but Thelma is the sister I never had and I was sad to see our dream fizzle, and then she said, “Well, we can be hockey moms. You bring the parkas and I’ll bring the spiked thermos of vodka.” Our new plan was activated until she found out she was having a girl. For an entire ten seconds, our plan was blown, but we quickly changed course, once more, and the new plan was even better than the first two because now, instead of being best friends with kids, we’ll be family! Callum may not have been part of our plan, but everything happens for a reason, and this happened because Louise’s daughter was always meant to be his.
I pass the book to my father. “That’s how you didn’t know I was the girl your mother wrote about. She didn’t use any names.”
He shakes his head. “Nope. I spent many years trying to figure out who Louise was. When I was young, I thought that was her name until I attempted to Google her and came across the movie Thelma and Louise.
“I found out a few months before we broke up that you were the same girl my mother wrote about in her journal after I met Sherry at an away game. She knew my mother and started asking questions and telling me stories that filled in the blanks.”
That makes sense. Sherry has a way of talking without prompt, sharing details you didn’t know you were looking for until the words leave her mouth.
I look at my dad. “Wait, is that why my name is Eloise? Did Mom name me after her best friend?” I always thought my name was a nod to my father, his name being Elias.
“It’s partially an ode to her, yes. I compromised with Eloise, wanting my own say.” He sighs a heavy, resigned breath. “Callum’s mother meant a lot to your mother. I remember when we found out you were pregnant with Adler. Your mother came to bed that night and said, ‘I’m so happy, but it hurts. I feel like I’m living her dream, and it’s not fair. I don’t deserve to feel happy when she can’t.’ Your mother was a different woman after losing Virginia.”
Cal and I share a weary look. That comment feels so ominous, given what we learned this evening.
“So the two of you are like fated mates,” Dash remarks.
“We’re not werewolves, so that would be a no.” I laugh.
He scratches his head, his cheeky smile matching my own. I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to lighten the mood. It’s getting heavy in here, but when his fingers run over the spot that I know looks eerily similar to the one my father has, I ask, “Did something happen after I was born? If she loved Virginia so much, why didn’t she stick around after Callum was born? I know if my best friend wasn’t around to raise her child, I’d still want to be a part of her kid’s life.”
Adler climbs back on my bed, and I pull him close.
“They’d be a reminder of the person I lost, but more than that, I’d want to be what she couldn’t. I’d want to pass my memories of her onto them.”
His lips thin, and he looks out the window. I can tell he has a story to tell.
“Dad, I need to know. I can’t have my happy ever after until I know what happened.”
He nods in agreement and looks at Dash. “Do you think you and Adler can grab me a coffee from the cafeteria?”
“Yeah, sure, no problem.” He stands. “What do you say, bruh? Want to help me grab a coffee for Gramps here and maybe raid the dessert case?”
“Yes,” Adler says eagerly. He hastily gets off the bed and then turns back to me. “Mom, do you want a special treat?”
“Surprise me, buddy,” I say with a smile.
The second Dash and Adler are out of earshot, he says, “Did Lucas Balfour threaten you? Is that what the two of you were insinuating earlier when you said I had something to do with all of this?”
“Not recently, but he did six years ago.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands, his face pained before it softens, meeting mine. “Eloise, you’re my daughter. I would have protected you.”
“I know, Dad. I know you would have, but what’s done is done. I made my choices, and maybe they weren’t the right ones, but I’m here asking for your help now.” I reach for Cal, inviting him to sit beside me on the bed. “Can you tell us now so we can make the right choices for our family?”
His eyes flick between ours as resignation replaces his anger. “I’ll tell you a story, but you must realize I am only one half.” His brown eyes hold ours, ensuring we understand what he’s saying. He can’t speak for my mother. There are some things only she’ll be able to tell us. We nod in understanding, and Cal picks up my hand and interlaces our fingers. “You two now know that your mothers were best friends. That detail wasn’t intentionally held from you, at least not by me. I assumed it had come up between the two of you, but I know why your mother never talks about it. Losing Virginia broke her and she wasn’t heartless the way you believe. Ada tried to stay in Callum’s life by befriending Keely, even though doing so felt like a betrayal of the worst kind. She thought Lucas moved on too quick, and marrying one of Virginia’s labor and delivery nurses felt?—”
“Hold on. Repeat that… Keely was a nurse? I thought she’s always been a kept woman,” Cal questions in disbelief.
My father rolls his lips and crosses his arms. I can tell he has feelings about sharing these details. “She wasn’t a nurse for very long. If I recall correctly, she had just graduated from college a few months before being your mother’s nurse. Not long after Virginia’s death, she moved in with Lucas and never returned to work.”
Cal’s hand squeezes mine tight, and I know his mind is traveling in the same dark, twisted hallways mine is. Keely played a part in his mother’s death, but what of my mom?
“You said Mom tried to stay around for Cal. What happened? Why did your friendship with the Balfours fall apart?”
“That’s a story you need to talk to your mother about. It’s not mine to tell.” He shakes his head and drops his gaze to his lap.
“Were you there?”
“I was,” he answers, running the tips of his fingers over the calluses on his opposite hand.
“Then it sounds like you have part of a story to tell.”
“Not all secrets are kept in vain. Some are simply kept in hopes of forgetting.” He pauses to collect his thoughts, and I feel it in my bones. Whatever story I’m about to hear irrevocably transformed his relationship with my mother. “A few months after you were born, we went to a party Keely and Lucas hosted at their home. Your mother typically accepted all invitations Keely sent. She used them as an excuse to see Callum, but this party was different. Callum wasn’t there, and Keely had been hard to corner for most of the night. She was too busy playing the role of host, and it was getting late. Ada was ready to leave. We had you and your brother back home and she wasn’t interested in small talk with the guests in attendance. By the time we were walking out the door to leave, Keely rushed over with two drinks in hand, apologizing for being such a terrible friend and asking us to stay for just one more drink.” He exhales long and deep. “If there was ever a drink we should have turned down, it was that one. One minute, we were mingling, and the next, we were, well…”
He gets choked up, and Cal finishes his sentence. “You were drugged, weren’t you?”
My dad’s eyes shoot up to Cal’s, his look one of cautious recognition. There’s only one reason Cal could finish that sentence: because he experienced it, too. “Yes,” my father confirms slowly.
Cal is off the bed in a flash. “I knew it. I fucking knew it.” He hisses as he starts pacing the bed. “The night I threw that party, I smelled his cigars as soon as I opened the door to my room. I stupidly assumed someone stole one from his office because there was no way he would have let that party go down. Blair may have given me the drink, but my father handed it to her.”
“What are you talking about?” my father questions, not following Cal’s sudden outrage.
“The night I was going to tell Cal I was pregnant with Adler, I found another girl on his lap at a party. I turned on my heel and left, thinking Cal wasn’t serious about me. As it turns out, that night, he was drugged, which is how the girl got onto his lap and?—”
“And nothing happened,” Cal firmly adds. “I knew something was wrong and stumbled into the sauna in our gym, where I knew no one would come looking for me until I could think straight.”
My dad inhales deeply through his nose and slowly nods before saying, “Ada and I weren’t so lucky.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, my stomach sinking, believing I already know the answer.
“Let’s just say this. There’s a reason your mother and I never returned and cut all ties with Lucas and Keely.”
“That must be why my mom wrote that check I was telling you about. It was hush money,” I say to Cal.
“But that was a year after you were born. Elias said this party happened a few months after your birth.”
“Hush money? That doesn’t sound right. Your mother is not a woman to cross. You, of all people, know that. If Lucas was going to share pictures of what went down that night, he’d be incriminating himself because your mother would have had him by the balls. He drugged us,” my father says as he clenches his fists.
“What other reason would she have for writing Lucas Balfour a check after cutting ties with him?” I ask.
“Mom, I got you your favorite,” Adler says, coming around the corner. “It’s a jumbo Rice Krispie treat with icing, sprinkles, and white chocolate.” He climbs back on the bed, reclaiming his seat before handing it to me. “Doesn’t it look delicious?”
“It looks like something you want to sneak a bite of.” I pull him onto my lap, and he laughs. “Well, you do like Rice Krispie treats, and I couldn’t decide between the jumbo cookie and this.”
“So this was your way of getting both. Give it to Mom under the guise of she’ll really like it.”
He smiles big. “No…” He manages to keep a straight face through his bluff. “But you’re not going to eat all of it anyway, so I figured I didn’t want to let a good thing go to waste, and I’ll eventually get a bite.”
“Well, if you’re going to steal a bite, do it quick. It’s been a long day of travel and then all this. I’m exhausted,” my father announces.
Adler and my father were already planning on coming up today for the game tomorrow, and then all this happened. My father’s nerves were already shot before I sprang all of this on him. I can tell our conversation opened old wounds, and now he’s trying to process everything he’s heard tonight and what it all means, same as we are.
“Already? We just got here. I want to stay with Mom and Dad,” Adler whines with disappointment.
“Champ, your grandpa is going to take you back to my place. You can sleep in my room and let Grandpa have the spare bedroom. How about that?”
His face lights up a little. “I’ve never been to your Toronto house.”
I rub his arm. “When I get released tomorrow, I’ll come straight home, I promise.”
“Okay,” he agrees and then looks at Cal. “But I’m going to need you to score me a goal tomorrow night.”
Cal smiles from ear to ear and swoops him up. “I’ll see what I can do, champ.”
Watching him hold Adler, seeing the happiness on the faces of the two men I love with all my heart, my chest tightens. There’s no way I’m letting this go. Moments like this are what make life worth living.
Dash’s phone rings. “It’s my boss. I’m gonna grab this, and I’ll be back to say bye,” he says before stepping out of the room.
“Come give me a hug, buddy,” I say, and Cal brings Adler to my bed and leans over with him in his arms so he can hug me. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
Cal walks Adler and my father to the door and says his goodbyes, watching them disappear down the hall before shoving his hands into his pockets and slowly walking back in. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m not sure what to think anymore. My dad’s story paints another picture of what might have happened.”
“You know what I think.”
I furrow my brow, hearing the disgust in his tone.
“I think my father never filed any reports because your mother was the bigger money grab. Blackmailing her would get him more money than any malpractice suit he could file.”
His conclusions aren’t baseless, but something is missing. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but what motive would my mother have?”
“Did someone say mother?” My mother, Ada, appears in the flesh with not a hair out of place or a wrinkle on her suit. Ada Beck plays hardball in a predominantly male world. She embodies Coco Chanel’s motto: Dress shabbily, and they remember the dress; dress impeccably, and they remember the woman. “You look terrible,” she says, coming to my side and grasping my chin to better look at the side of my face. “What is it with you and your brother getting into accidents this year?”
“It’s odd, isn’t it? But you know what’s more disconcerting? How their own mother played a part in both of their fates,” Cal snidely remarks, unable to hold back his disdain.
My mother can’t really be blamed for my brother’s accident. He was driving in the rain when his car slid off the road, but she did play a small role in the events that transpired last summer. However, drawing these groundless accusations solves nothing.
Her blue eyes snap to his. “If you have something to say, Balfour, say it.”
“We know about your past friendship with Cal’s mother, Virginia, and we’re also aware of the payments you made to Lucas Balfour a year after her death and the year Adler was born.”
The icy gaze she has locked on Cal doesn’t waver. She doesn’t care what I have to say. She cares about what he believes. “I asked you a question.”
Crossing his arms, Cal straightens, unfazed by my mother’s menacing glare. “How about you tell us the story about how you helped murder my mother?”