51. Arnaz
ARNAZ
“ The Lights Will Never Be on When I Come Home ”
And a dream is buried in a nailed coffin, doused with gasoline, and set on fire until embers and ashes remain.
“ A nother round, please,” Sid requests of the bartender.
“How do you know that?” I ask, not believing Sid’s reassurance that I have nothing to worry about with Salem and Lucien.
“You know how headlines blow things out of proportion. You said he and Lucien ended things amicably, and now they’re just friends.”
“They’re kissing,” I state, shuddering at the image that’s been replaying in my mind.
“You saw the videos.” He twists in his seat, peering at the crowd sitting before the stage. “It was over as soon as it started. Looked friendly.”
I’ve watched every video and scanned every photo of the two of them on their date , feeling both irked that so many people secretly captured the moment and grateful for all the different angles.
“If our friend saw you kissing someone on the lips, how would they feel?” I ask.
He purses his lips. “Been there. Katrina. All-Star game when I was playing for Miami. It, uh”—he winces—“didn’t go well.”
“Exactly.”
“Thanks,” he says to the bartender, who slides over two Arnold Palmers. Denver’s team is hot this season, so we can’t afford to drink the night before our game. “He still sending you to voicemail?” he asks me.
I hang my head.
“What’s with our boy and the long face?” Ussef’s heavy arm lands across my shoulders with a thud before his non-alcoholic beer slams down on the bar.
“He has been broody lately, hasn’t he?” Sid answers.
“If this is about me being angry that you skipped me again and gave the gift basket to Gigi, I forgive you,” Ussef says.
I snort mid-swallow, causing the liquid to go down the wrong pipe.
“I said I forgive you. Don’t choke, my man.” He pats my back as I gasp for air.
“Th-thanks.” I cough through the burn shooting down my chest.
He picks up the fresh bottle that the bartender placed down. “Does it hurt seeing her wear the Cartier cufflinks every day? A hundred percent.”
For fuck’s sake. “The next two baskets are yours. You can have the next five if it ends this conversation.”
“I love you, man.” He tightens his hold on my neck, pulling me into a noogie.
My elbow shoots back, but he jumps left, releasing me, before it makes contact.
“Knew that was coming.” He swipes up his beer. “Next basket is mine. You heard that?” he says to Sid.
“I thought the next basket was Jo’s,” Sid replies with a grin.
“Oh shit,” I say with a laugh.
“Fuck you!” Ussef spits, storming away.
“I offered you the cake,” I call to his retreating back, then say to Sid, “He looks like he’s gonna cry.”
Sid chuckles. “He’ll be aight.”
“He’ll be aight,” I mock, shaking my head. “ You and Salem will work it out. Him and the billionaire designer dude plastered to his lips are just friends. ” I scoff. “You ever feel like you’re drowning in all that optimism? What if you-know-who stopped talking to you suddenly?” I ask.
His smirk disappears. “They left me once.”
My head jerks back. “What?”
He nods. “For a few weeks, the night after my fight with Lucas.”
My eyebrows dip. “They left you ’cause you fought with Lucas?”
“Nah. We were rocky before that.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You know why.”
He wasn’t out to me yet.
“How did you fix it?”
His lips spread in a filthy smile. “We talked it out.” He downs his drink. “I think I know how to cheer you up,” he says before speeding off.
I touch the home screen of my phone and then drop my head to the bar top as I see no new notifications.
What I’d give to see his name on my screen just one more time.
“Good evening. Can y’all hear me?”
I fling a glance over my shoulder at the sound of Sid mic’d up.
“Yeah? Cool,” he replies to the din of whistles and shouts. “Good evening, my name is Sid King, and I play basketball for the Los Angeles Royals.”
A woman screams, “I love you!” at him, causing more shouts and whistles across the bar.
“Thank you. So, my friend has been down lately.”
There’s a wave of awws.
“And there’s only one thing I know that transports him to a place far away from his troubles—music.”
No. No way.
Every phone in the spot is pointed at him.
It took less than twenty minutes for the bar to fill up, spilling out to the streets, once word got around that a couple of us were here. Security’s doing their best to keep fans at bay so we can enjoy our drinks in peace, but this is testing it.
“Y’all are all in for a treat tonight. We have in the house a man with a voice so beautiful it’ll make you feel like your soul’s left your body to rest with angels. I could only convince him to do one song, but I promise, all you need is one.”
I swipe my hand across my throat, gesturing for him to knock it off, when he glances over at me.
“First, I need y’all to make some noise.”
The noise is instantly deafening.
“Nah.” He shakes his head. “Y’all can do better than that.”
Their roar reaches a fever pitch.
No! I mouth at him.
The fucker nods and winks at me.
He places his hand on his heart. “Knew y’all had it in you, Denver.”
Sid signals to Nick, and before I know it, he’s stalking over and pushing me toward the stage. “You used to beg us for this and karaoke. You know you want to,” Nick taunts.
“You and Sid are on my kill list,” I grit out.
He chuckles. “Stop flirting with me.”
I’m pushed damn near headfirst onto the stage.
Straightening up, I glare at Sid.
“Just close your eyes and escape,” he says, handing me the mic.
“You’re on my kill?—”
“Yeah, yeah. Love you too.”
I stand there for an awkward amount of time before fixing on a band member’s Gibson acoustic guitar. Without having to ask, she offers it to me. Another band member offers me his stool.
“Thanks,” I say to them both.
I hook the guitar strap around my neck and get situated, adjusting the mic and stool.
I massage and stretch my hands quickly to warm them up before I strum a few chords and hum scales away from the mic.
There’s only one song that comes to mind.
It’s not mine, but it’s the only song that’s been on repeat since I lost Salem.
I clear my throat and raise my gaze above the crowd. “If you’re out there listening, I miss you. I dream of boring days with you too. This song is for you.”
I close my eyes, and with a deep breath, I let go.