Chapter 24 Cole
COLE
Ihave the coffee machine ready, and as soon as I hear her turn the shower on, I press go.
Not knowing how long she’s going to take, I grabbed a travel cup to ensure it would stay warm. Something tells me she’s going to be in there a while.
Once the milk is done, I finish it off with a flower that she probably won’t even appreciate once I put the lid on, but I can’t help myself.
After finding a container on the counter full of homemade cookies, I put a couple on a plate before taking them to the guest room. Silently, I slip inside, place it all on the vanity, and then leave as quickly as possible.
Arriving home this morning has been nothing like I was expecting. But also…something I’m pretty sure I’ll always remember.
I questioned whether I should wake her. But she looked so peaceful, and clearly, she needed the extra sleep. So instead, I pulled on my workout clothes and headed for my home gym.
The image of her in her black lingerie stayed with me the whole time. It didn’t matter how fast I cycled, how heavy the weight I lifted, the image never left me. Hell, I don’t think it ever will.
It was strange enough having a woman in my apartment. But in my bed?
Shit. It’s really fucked with my head.
All I wanted to do was crawl in with her.
I never sleep that well in hotel rooms, and not just because Killer talks in his sleep.
Scares the shit out of me every fucking time.
Last night, he was calling out to someone, demanding they come back and help him.
Fuck knows what was going on in his head, but no fucker was coming to his aid.
Sometimes, I talk back just to amuse myself.
Sometimes, he responds, and I’m convinced that he has to be awake, but he never remembers it in the morning.
I find it incredible that he’s able to sleep that deeply when there’s someone else in the room. I know I can’t. But then I guess we’ve lived very different lives.
He might be a little distant with his family these days, but at least he has one. And despite the tension between them, I don’t doubt that if he needed them, they’d be at his side in a heartbeat.
Killer doesn’t know what it’s like to be forced to sleep with one eye open. Sure, he might have grown up with siblings, but it’s very, very different.
A sigh passes my lips as I fall onto my couch. I lose myself in memories of the past, a place I don’t like to linger for too long, but recently, I’ve found myself going back more and more often. Hell, I’ve even gotten close to talking about it.
I’m pretty sure it’s Freya’s fault. Not that I can really find it in myself to blame her. Since she’s arrived in my life, things have changed, and despite the painful memories, I can’t say it’s for the worse.
The shower continues running long after I’m sure she should be cleaned up.
Concern for her burns through me, but I refuse to go and check on her.
She’s a fully grown woman—I saw that with my very own eyes as she lay there, wrapped in the most delicate lace this morning.
She doesn’t need me steamrolling in and potentially seeing her naked, too.
Although I can’t say I’m overly opposed to that idea.
No, she’s already embarrassed enough. I can’t do anything that would risk making it worse. I just have to wait.
But as I do, my stomach begins growling. I wasn’t lying when I told Freya I ate before we flew, but that was hours ago.
Unable to wait, I rummage in the kitchen for snacks and fix myself a plate of cheese, crackers, and fruit, along with a huge glass of the freshly squeezed OJ Freya left in the fridge.
I dive in the second my ass hits the stool, and thankfully, the demands of my stomach help to lessen the previous thoughts that were spinning around my head.
Or at least, they do until her sweet voice fills the air.
“W-what are you doing?”
I twist around and find her standing at the end of the hallway that leads to the bedrooms with a hurt expression on her face.
My mouth opens to speak, but I can’t find any words as I take her in.
Her still-wet hair is piled on top of her head, and she’s wearing a simple tank and leggings. Her face is now clear of the makeup that was smeared everywhere earlier. She looks beautiful.
“You said you weren’t hungry, but—”
“I just needed a snack,” I finally say. “It’s nothing I can’t handle, honestly.”
A whole heap of emotions I don’t like darken Freya’s eyes. She’s disappointed in herself.
“If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have taken so long. I—”
“Freya. It’s just some cheese and crackers,” I interrupt.
“I know. But it’s my job.”
“Don’t worry. This won’t ruin my brunch,” I tease.
A smile twitches at her lips, and she shakes her head.
“Thank you for the coffee. It was very much needed,” she says, letting go of the fact that I managed to put some food on a plate without her assistance.
“You want another?”
She holds her hand up, stopping me from climbing to my feet.
“You’ve already done enough this morning. If you’re still willing to keep me around after…” Her words trail off as she looks over her shoulder in the direction of the bedrooms. “That…then I need to start work.”
“I can still make you coffee,” I point out. “I don’t remember that being a part of your job description.”
“Only since I discovered you’re better at it than me,” she shoots back.
I smirk, aware that I’ve just won. “Then let’s both focus on what we’re good at. You start prepping brunch, if you’re feeling up to it, and I’ll make more coffee.”
“I’m feeling fine, thank you.”
“Liar,” I tease.
She shoots me a glare, but it quickly melts away into a knowing smile.
“I can’t remember the last time I had a night like that.”
“Regret it?” I ask as I abandon what’s left on my plate in favor of making her more coffee.
“I’m regretting what the overindulgence made me do. But the night itself…no. I think it was exactly what I needed.”
I smile as I watch her pull ingredients from the fridge, the coffee beans grinding beside me.
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”
“Definitely remembering that I’m not twenty-one anymore today, though. When I was in Vegas, I’d drink all night, sleep for a few hours, and then start all over again.”
“Ah, didn’t anyone tell you that’s not possible when you’re pushing thirty?”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. When I was a kid, I thought I’d have it all sorted by the time that birthday approached. Married, kids, house. The whole shebang. But look at what happened,” she says, holding her arms out from her sides.
“There’s nothing wrong with not having everything figured out by thirty.”
“I know, I’m not saying there is. I just thought my life would have gone a different way.”
“It’s impossible to predict. You’ve just got to roll with the punches and accept the direction you’re taken.”
“Well, I’m grateful for this turn,” she says, pausing chopping veggies and turning to look at me. It isn’t until her eyes lock on mine that I realize she hasn’t properly looked at me since she emerged. Her embarrassment levels are still sky high, but she’s fighting it.
“Me too,” I agree.
“I really am sorry for this morning. That was a major oversight on my part. I promise it’ll never happen again.”
I give her a hard glare for daring to apologize again, but she doesn’t back down, and this time, I don’t chastise her for it. She needed to say that, so I’ll let it go.
Once our coffees are made, I lower hers beside her before retaking my seat and watching her prep our brunch.
A question dances on the tip of my tongue, and in the end, I can’t keep it in.
“Do you want to hang out with me today?
Freya’s head whips around, shock covering her face as she stares at me.
“Uh…”
Nerves flutter in my stomach. I shouldn’t have asked. She’s busy and—
“Yeah. Okay,” she breathes.
“I haven’t told you where we’re going yet.”
“It doesn’t matter. I trust you.”
The words hit me like a truck, and I’m forced to sit back a little as they settle inside me.
Sure, people have said it to me before. But I’m pretty sure it’s only ever been teammates or coaching staff. Hearing those words coming from Freya hits differently.
She has no reason to trust me, not really. I’ve given her a job and invited her into my home. I’m the one who’s done the trusting. She doesn’t even know me, and yet she’s blindly joining me on my afternoon plans.
“Wow, that’s…”
“Brave?” she asks with a laugh.
“I guess you’ll find out in an hour or so.”
She studies me for a beat as if she’ll discover the answer to all her questions in my eyes.
When she realizes that I’m not going to spill, she turns her attention back to her cooking.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?” she asks over an hour later as we head to the other side of town.
“Nope. But we’re nearly there.”
Her eyes are everywhere as I pull into a mostly empty parking lot behind a rundown building.
“I’m so confused,” she muses after we’ve climbed out. “There’s nothing here.”
I chuckle before leading her between two of the buildings. The alleyway is dark and a little dirty. The smell leaves plenty to be desired, and it’s not anywhere I’d want her to be alone. But while she’s by my side, I don’t worry.
“Right in here,” I say, coming to stop at a dank set of double doors.
“What on earth is this place?” she asks as I push the door open and gesture for her to step inside.
The noise level instantly increases as the sound of clattering pots and pans blends with a mixture of conversations.
“It’s a shelter,” I explain as I open the next doors, revealing a whole host of people who come here for food on a daily basis.
“Uh…okay.”
Her eyes scan the room, taking everything in.
“Not what you were expecting?” I ask. I don’t know why surprising her feels so good, but it does.
“I mean, I didn’t really know what to expect. But if I had to guess, this wouldn’t have been anywhere close. So what are we doing?”
“I volunteer here a couple of times a week, serving meals and chatting to everyone.”
She nods, taking in my words as we move through the room.
As soon as people see me, they smile and wave.
I’m sure to some of them, I’m Handsy, the LA Vipers’ goalie. But to most, I’m Cole. A man who treats them as an equal. Who spends time listening to their stories and, hopefully, making them feel seen and worthy.
Freya doesn’t say anything as we approach the kitchen, but there's something in me that needs to share a little of my truth with her, and before I know what’s happening, words are pouring from my lips.
“I know what it’s like to have nothing and no one. It’s not a place anyone should ever be. So I come here as often as I can in the hope I can help even one person feel less alone in the world.”