Chapter 44 Freya
FREYA
Ilie there staring up at Cole as his face tightens, the muscles in his neck pull, and his arms tremble as they hold him above me.
Oh my god.
His lips part as his eyes flare with heat, and the most incredible sound fills the room.
He’s…oh my god. He’s coming.
Aftershocks from my own release continue to spark to life. My legs are weak around his waist and now only being held up by him as I watch in amazement.
This incredibly strong and powerful man is…
I just…
I did that. I made him lose control like that, and I’m lying here fully dressed.
I can’t believe it. I—
My thoughts vanish the moment the rumble of Cole’s laughter rips through the air.
The most incredible smile spreads across his face and lights up his eyes. The sight eradicates any concern that might have flickered through me because his expression is nothing but joy.
His laughter is infectious, and I find myself giggling right alongside him.
“I don’t think I’ve done that since I was about thirteen,” he confesses through peals of laughter.
He drops to his elbows over me, allowing my legs to fall limply at his sides before he brushes his nose against mine.
“That was something, huh?” he asks before stealing my lips in another searing kiss that stops me from responding. But yeah, it really was something.
My hands find their way beneath his shirt again, allowing me to trace the muscles running down his back.
This kiss is different from our previous ones. It’s still incredible and all-consuming. But the fire is a little dampened thanks to our releases.
Cole’s tongue drags against mine before he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth.
A groan rumbles in my throat, but it’s nowhere near as loud as the one his stomach makes, which makes us both laugh all over again.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt as delirious in all my life, and he hasn’t even touched me.
Cole Hansley is like a drug. One that I have no intention of giving up anytime soon.
“I should get you some food,” I say, cupping his jaw with my hand.
“But what if I want to eat you?” The question is so sincere, so raw and honest, it sends a shot of desire straight to my core.
Swallowing nervously, I hold his eyes, trying to say the words that I need to right now.
“That…what we just did, it was incredible. But—” His eyes shutter as if I’m about to shoot him down and put an end to this. “But I need to take it slow.”
A smile kicks up one side of his mouth.
“Slow?” he repeats, and I nod.
“Yeah. There might have been a time in my life when I could go from zero to sixty in a few seconds, but that girl is long gone. I need…I need time to process and—”
He kisses me again, stealing my words. “I already told you, Whirlwind. I’ll go at whatever pace you want.
You just set the speed, and that’s how we’re traveling.
As long as I get this,” he says, sliding his hand from my hip to my ribs, his thumb brushing the underside of my breast, making me shudder.
“And this,” he adds before kissing me sweetly.
“Then that’s all I need. Well, that and a shower. I kinda made a mess.”
My giggles hit me again.
I made Cole Hansley come in his pants. That might just be my biggest life achievement to this point.
“Alright, there’s no need for laughing. It’s your fault anyway,” he says, finally pushing up so he’s kneeling between my legs with my hands resting on his thighs.
“How is it my fault?”
His eyes drop to my new jersey. “You look unbelievably hot in that.”
“Your fault. You left it for me to wear.”
“Yeah,” he muses, lifting one hand to rub his jaw. “I guess it is my own fault. Worth it though.”
“Oh yeah?” I can’t help the smirk that pulls at my lips.
“Yeah. Promise me you’ll never wear anything else to my games.”
I nod. “I promise.”
“Knowing that you’re watching me while wearing my name across your shoulders like you own me does things to me.”
My eyes widen. “Like I own you? I’m pretty sure most players see it the other way around,” I tease.
“I’m not most players. No matter what happens here, I’ll never own you. You’re your own woman who is free to do as you please. Me, however? I’m yours. Pretty sure I have been for weeks now.”
The confession makes my heart rate increase.
His eyes hold mine as his words float around us.
He’s serious.
He…
This is too much. Too fast. Too…everything.
“Can I get up, please?” I request, my voice weak yet demanding.
Panic washes through Cole’s expression before he quickly climbs to his feet and backs away from the bed.
“I’m sorry,” he says, dragging his hair back from his brow. “I just…I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
“It’s okay. You’re okay. It’s me. It’s just a lot and—”
“I’m sorry. I just told you that I’d take it slow and—”
“Cole,” I say, stepping up to him and pressing my hands against his chest. He swallows whatever words were going to come next.
His chest heaves as he stares down at me. No words are said, but they’re not needed.
He gets me in a way I’m not sure anyone has ever done before. And I’m pretty sure I’m starting to figure him out, too.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I promise him. “I think…I think I want this. You. And—”
His brow creases. “You think?”
A laugh tumbles free, but there’s no amusement in it. “I know,” I correct. “I’m just terrified. The last time I put my trust in someone this way, they shattered it, and in turn, they shattered me. It’s going to take me some time to—”
“I have time. I have all the time in the world, as long as you’re in this with me.”
I shake my head, but not in a refusal kind of way, it’s in an “oh my god, I can’t believe this is actually happening” kind of way.
When I accepted his job offer all those weeks ago in Casey and Kodie’s kitchen, I was a broken shell of the woman I used to be.
I never in a million years thought that Cole would see me as anything but his chef, a woman who feeds him and hopefully helps to keep him strong and healthy so he can perform at his best. Never did I think he’d look at me in the way he is now.
There is so much hope in his eyes, but it’s impossible to miss the fear.
While I might be scared of being hurt again, he’s terrified of being left. Of being abandoned because he’s not enough.
That thought, the fact that he thinks that’s even possible, makes my heart hurt in the worst kind of way.
Sliding my hands up, I stretch onto my toes and wrap my arms around his shoulders, holding him tight. “I’m with you,” I whisper against his neck.
His arms lift, wrapping them around my back. His breath tickles over my skin as we stand there holding each other, silently reassuring each other that there’s no reason to be scared.
As much as I trust him, I think there will always be a trickle of fear running through me. All I can hope is that with time, he helps eradicate it.
“You should go and shower,” I say, pulling back from our embrace when his stomach begins rumbling again.
He releases me and watches me as I back away from him.
His eyes don’t leave me as I retreat to the door. It kills me to break the connection with him, but as much as I might want to throw caution to the wind, strip, and get into the shower with him, I know I’m right about taking this slow.
It’ll be worth it.
When the time comes, I don’t want to get all up in my head and risk my fear taking over. I want to be fully present and focused on him. On us.
“I’ll have food ready for when you get out.”
He looks reluctant to let me go, but as I slip around the door and out of the room, he doesn’t say a word.
“Oh my god,” I breathe as I rush toward the kitchen.
I stop once I get to the island, place my palms on the cool countertop, and take a breath.
That really happened.
The sound of Cole moving around in his room, and then the shower starting, hits my ears, and I force myself out of my recent memories so I can focus on my job.
I’m here to keep Cole fed with healthy food, not to have him dry-humping me on his bed.
I make quick work of getting everything ready for him, and when he appears wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of gray sweats, I’m busy cleaning the already spotless counter just for something to do.
“You’re freaking out,” he observes as he moves closer, his long legs eating up the space between us in seconds.
“I’m not,” I argue, but we both know I’m lying.
He pulls his stool out and sits down before holding his hand out for me.
“Come here,” he demands, and my legs move of their own accord, powerless but to do as he says.
The second I’m in touching distance, he wraps his arm around my waist and effortlessly lifts me onto his lap.
“What are you doing?”
“Enjoying my snack,” he says as he reaches for a breadstick and swipes it through the homemade hummus dip.
“Shit, this is good,” he says after he’s swallowed his first bite.
He repeats the action, but this time, he holds the breadstick out for me to try.
I’m not hungry, but I can’t deny him.
I nod as I chew, happy with the layers of flavor I’ve managed to create.
We spend the next fifteen minutes sitting at the counter with me on his lap as he devours the after-game snacks I made him. He eats all of it one-handed, never once releasing his grip on me.
“You’re staying tonight, right?” he asks once he’s done.
I glance at the clock on the wall on the other side of the vast room. It’s past midnight; does he really think I’d be considering going back to my parents’ when I’ve practically made myself at home in the guest room?
“Yeah, I’m staying,” I confirm.
“I’m not going to be able to sleep yet, but…did you want to come to bed with me? We can watch TV for a bit.”
Do I want to get in bed with Cole Hansley?
Is that a trick question?
“We don’t have to do anything, and if you’d be happier in the guest room, I understand. I’m just not ready for our night to end yet.”
I study him, sensing his anxiety in asking this in the first place. I’m certainly not the only one who’s feeling out of sorts with this new situation between us. “We can go and watch TV in your bed.”
The smile he gives me tells me that I made the right decision, and not a second later, Cole has swung me up into his arms, gotten to his feet, and he’s carrying me toward his bedroom.
“Wait,” I cry before he slips inside. “I need my room first. I need to take my makeup off and get changed, and—”
“Okay,” he says, swinging a right and walking into my room.
Unlike his, nothing has a place. There is stuff everywhere.
I wince—he must hate having such chaos in his nicely ordered home. But he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even look at it all. His attention is fully focused on me.
“If I leave you here, you’re not going to freak out and change your mind, are you?” he asks, knowing me too well.
“I won’t change my mind,” I assure him. “But just in case you’re worried, if I’m not there in fifteen minutes, you can come and get me.”
“Deal,” he states before kissing my cheek and marching out of the room. “I know you’re looking,” he teases a beat before he disappears.
“You’re wearing gray sweatpants,” I call back. “Of course I’m looking.”
His laughter rumbles in the air, and I step into the bathroom with a smile on my face and hope in my heart.