Chapter 2
Austin
Grayson has that look again, and I hop off the table, pushing my way through drunken teammates. He gets this lost expression, as if he doesn’t know where he belongs, and tonight I want to fix it.
He assumes he owes me for his job and being a good friend, but the truth is, I couldn’t function without him. I don’t have to be in charge or pretend to be happy around him. I can just be.
Gray is the light that keeps my darkness locked away where it can’t hurt anyone.
I hope to get a smile, but he says he’s going back to his room. Tonight, he has seemed distressed ever since Benz talked about starting the year with specific intentions.
The lights play off his long hair, and I’ve never noticed how shiny it is.
It’s glossy and loose around his shoulders.
Gray has the kindest brown eyes that draw me in and make me feel safe.
He’s the type of person other people will confess to for forgiveness.
But under the compassion, his eyes hold pain.
His usual light is dim, and I long to be the one to relight it.
He reaches for me, but his hands change course, and he swipes my forehead. My skin tingles in the wake of his touch. He hasn’t shaved in two days and it accentuates the bow of his upper lip, enticing me.
The seed of temptation bursts from where he touched my head to a full-blown bodily need for him.
The lock on everything I’ve been holding in breaks free, and my darkness seeps out, morphing into a cavern of endless desire that I don’t question because it’s Gray.
It consumes me, and the only thing that could possibly fill it is him.
I’ve never been interested in men, but he’s all I see.
In the past, I’ve been apathetic about sex, but my body is on fire for him.
No one has ever made me feel this way. I thought this level of attraction was movie-made, not based in reality.
My world shifts, and everything becomes clear.
Grayson is mine.
We’ve always belonged together, but I didn’t see it.
His eyebrows scrunch in confusion, and I can tell he’s biting the inside of his lip.
The irrational emotions swell inside me. I should be the one biting him, tasting every part of him.
The right thing to do would be to walk away.
I can’t do that.
I should ask his permission or consent, but I don’t.
All instinct and no thought, I grab the nape of his neck and steer him toward the secluded back-area of the VIP lounge. Unfortunately, I’m not the only one with this idea, but before my patience disintegrates, I find an alcove and shove him against the wall.
The depths of his eyes hold confusion and something else.
I take a second to pause, mentally confirming that this is what I truly want and not the alcohol talking.
Alcohol or not, my body has never burned for someone else so completely that the thought of walking away is not a feat I can accomplish.
I’m not myself as my fingers twine in his long, brown hair and tug, bringing his mouth to mine to devour. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never kissed a man. My body buzzes with excitement, and his solid chest connects with mine, taking us higher.
Grayson’s lips are soft and firm under mine. A slight hesitation, then we kiss as if we’ve been doing it for years. Licking into each other’s mouths and eliciting groans like we already know what turns the other on.
If peace had a taste, it would be my Gray. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with him, right here, right now.
His silky hair glides through my fingers, and I’m instantly obsessed with it.
His powerful hands grip my ass as he thrusts forward, and our hard cocks make contact. He’s as tall as I am but not as bulky as he was when we played in the Canadian Hockey League together. Still, with his solid muscles beneath my hands, I’m aching to touch every inch of him.
Fuck. I’m dizzy with lust. I had no idea grinding against a man with my clothes on could cause such incredible sensations. I’ve been missing out on this my entire life and am desperate to make up for lost time.
“Really? Are you sure?” He pulls back to meet my eyes.
I must’ve accidentally said fuck out loud and don’t trust myself to answer.
Awareness of our surroundings penetrates my single-minded focus on Gray.
The crowd is counting down, and there’re only three seconds until midnight.
I press my lips to his, trying to hold back, but he won’t let me.
Our kiss is frenzied and messy and not at all how I usually kiss a woman.
“Happy New Year,” I breathe into his mouth.
He swallows and says it back.
The walk to our hotel and my room is a blur after we dodge my teammates. I’m holding his hand like I think he’s going to escape, but from his grin and the sparkle in his eyes, he’s not going anywhere without me.
We appraise each other in the elevator with new interest. My best friend is sexy as fuck, and I want my hands all over him. I’m dying to run my tongue over the scar on his top lip. He got it when we were twelve from a skate in a game.
Exiting the elevator, he reaches into my back pocket to pull out my room key. He knows I don’t keep it in my wallet but in the opposite pocket. The mere second his hand brushes over my ass isn’t nearly long enough.
Gray’s crooked smile takes over his face as he opens the door to my hotel room, motioning for me to go in first. Wrapping my arms around him as I go, we tumble into the room in a tangle of lips and arms and legs.
The king bed looms as the focal point of the room. A tiny part of my brain wonders why it doesn’t bother me that I’m about to have sex with a man. But he’s not just a man—he’s my Gray. The brightest thing in my world.
It could be my imagination, but the room smells like sin, and I’ve never been so ready to commit one.
We bump into the bed, and I sit. “Strip,” I command.
Although I’ve never done this, the darkness and an insatiable appetite have control over me, and this time…I’m not stopping it. This time…I’m taking what I want and damn the consequences.
Thoughts about questioning my sexuality didn’t seem relevant in the past, and being with Gray is as natural as breathing. Like he’s been the obvious choice all along.
He slowly undoes his shirt, exposing more of his muscular chest with each button. He’s irresistible, and I’ve waited long enough.
I seize each side of his shirt and rip it apart so buttons fly everywhere. “Faster,” I grunt. My pulse surges as my heart pumps at an alarming speed. Grayson’s the cure for whatever is happening to me.
He sheds his pants and boxer briefs within seconds and strokes his long dick.
“Someone is impatient tonight. Is this what you want?” He stands out of my reach.
My mouth waters at the sight of the precum beading on his tip. My ears fill with the roar of my heart, and I’m about to combust without my hands on him.
“No,” I bark, but haul him to stand between my legs, with my fingers digging into his hips.
Grayson dips his head to kiss me, and his laugh is full of joy, and I inhale it. Taking it in, hoping to capture it and save it inside me for when I need it most.
Our mouths learn the shape of one another in a haze of bliss.
My temperature rises, boiling my blood, demanding his submission.
I yank his hand away and replace it with mine.
He’s hard and soft and so warm, growing fatter and dripping when my fist closes around him.
My hand is awkward at first since the only dick I’ve touched is mine, but I quickly adjust. I can handle sticks; I’ve got this.
His groan feeds my beast, urging me on. The string of precum calls to me, and I dip my head to taste it. Grayson tastes of relief and home and salty pleasure. But it’s not enough.
My brain screams for more.
More.
More.
It’s delicious torture. I’ve never let anyone have this type of power over me. Wave after wave of depraved cravings roll from my mind to every nerve in my body. Countless things I never let myself indulge in, I could do to Gray. He could handle it.
So many firsts for me tonight. Being with Grayson is natural—inevitable. Like I blinded myself to this possibility when I kept the darkness locked away.
But Gray’s safe, and I won’t hurt him.
As if I need a sign of his strength, he pushes me back on the bed, crawls over me, and drags me up to the pillows. While I’m captivated with him next to me, my clothes disappear.
“Tinny,” he murmurs, a nickname he hasn’t used in years.
A name from a lifetime ago, when we didn’t have any responsibilities and hockey was a fun game we played with our friends.
When there was no pressure and I won the contest of who could hit the top bar of the goal the most times.
It sounds like tin when the puck hits it, and it’s part of my name. Tin became Tinny.
He spits in his palm and holds it out for me to do the same.
When his large, calloused hand closes around our cocks, my eyes roll back, but I don’t want to miss this.
I’m not sure if it’s the way his dick glides along mine with the ridges of our tips catching or the sight of it, but I’m on the edge.
“Let go. I want you to unleash all over me.” Gray’s watching his hand stroke us furiously.
His words unfurl and surround me. He’s talking physically, but I’ve kept myself leashed for so long it feels like permission to let go. Be who I am.
It’s who he wants. Me. Unleashed.
I come with his name on my lips and my soul soaring to the heavens. Our cum mixes together, spilling out of his fist. But he’s not done with me.
“I want you.” Grayson hugs me close so I’m flush against him. He cups my cheek and lifts up to kiss me.
My cock jumps at the contact, seeking his out for more. That’s the word of the night…more.
“Let me explore you, show you how good it can be.” His brown eyes beg, and even though the loss of control scares me, I won’t say no to him.
His lopsided smile spreads across his face, and he flips us so I’m under him. He nips my jaw, and I can’t help myself; I lick his scarred lip. It’s smooth but raised from the surrounding skin.
Grayson takes his time, kissing and sucking as he inches toward my throbbing cock. I’m torn between forcing him down and enjoying his attention. His tongue circles my nipple until it’s a hard point, and then his teeth graze it as he pinches my other nipple. The shock zings all the way to my balls.
“I might come again before you get near my dick.” My hands fist the sheets.
“No, you won’t. You’ll lie back and let me edge you until you’re so far gone you can’t help but fuck my face.” His eyes lock on to mine as his tongue traces a path down my sternum and into the grooves of my abs.
He places open-mouthed kisses along my V-line, and my dick jumps, hitting his cheek. “Don’t worry.” He kisses my tip, and lightning zaps me. “I won’t forget you.”
But he bypasses my length and buries his nose in my pubic hair. Gray inhales and moans. I didn’t think it was possible to get hard again so soon after coming.
Tenderly, he cups my balls and licks every inch. When I’m sure I’ll explode, he sucks them both in his mouth and I shout at the ceiling. My skin is on fire, heated from the inside out. My brain can’t process the insane level of stimulation.
Gray shushes me and laps at my balls. He’s at home between my legs, and I cross my ankles behind his back, securing him to me.
Finally.
Finally, he licks from the base of my balls, up the underside of my cock, and around my head. All my muscles go limp as if the strain of holding back is too much, and it’s time to give in.
Gray sucks my tip, and my back bows off the bed. I’ve had blowjobs, but nothing compares to this. His eyes glaze over with need, and I’ll do anything to satisfy him.
He swallows me whole, and my life flashes before my eyes, and it’s a life filled with him.
“Fuck my face.” Gray places my hands on his head and opens his mouth, waiting for me to comply. The sight undoes me, and my hips thrust, ramming my cock into his mouth before I consider the consequences.
He gags and swallows, tightening his throat around me, and it only takes a few pumps before my load floods his mouth. He drinks it all and sighs with satisfaction.
“Gray,” I croak, reaching to bring him up so I can reciprocate. I suck him down without hesitation, and his pungent taste spurs me on.
Gray lets out a howl, and his legs shake as he comes down my throat. I’m not prepared for how fast it comes out or how much. He tries to ease back as I sputter, but I love it. I’m so giddy, I’m seeing stars.
He lives on my tongue and inside me.
My fingers on his ass force him to stay in place. In my mouth. Where he belongs.
He collapses, draping himself over me and shivers. He’s not cold, but just in case, I roll us back on the pillows, and reach over to wrangle the comforter around us. This…us… unforeseeable, but I love it. I love us together.
We can’t stop touching each other, and I lose count of the orgasms. I’ve never had multiples in one night and attribute it all to him touching me with strength and care. We lose ourselves in each other until I’m drunk on pleasure and close to passing out from exhaustion.
“Tinny?” Grayson tilts back to look into my eyes. The way he says my name asks a hundred questions. Am I all right? Did we go too far? Do I want this? What are we doing?
I’m sure I want him with everything that I am, but since he’s not asking specific questions, I don’t have to answer him. Rather than speak, I fuse my mouth to his, and we kiss for days.
Gray sighs contentedly in my ear.
“Biggest score of the night,” I mumble, floating on air.
We’re perfect together.
Until I wake up the next morning and see the harm I’ve caused him.