Chapter 31
Austin
The fans chant loudly along with the music at our first home game after an extended road trip. They’re happy to see us in person, and we’re happy to have the crowd behind us.
The thing I like the least is spending the night in the hotel away from Grayson.
It’s been weeks since the call with my parents, and the more time I spend with Gray, the more our love grows stronger and stronger.
I worry I’m being a clingy mess, but Benz is cranky when he doesn’t get to sleep with Leo, and I suspect Lucky and Drake sneak into each other’s rooms. I’ve also seen Trevor leave the hotel late at night with Liska’s driver.
If I can’t set a good example, I shouldn’t be captain.
Which is why I’m hunting Gray down before I change and we do our pregame ritual.
He’s sitting on the edge of Doc’s desk, looking over a report.
I knock on the open door. “Can I get a hamstring stretch before warm-ups?”
Doc waves Gray out, and I lead him to an empty workout room with mats.
“Since when has your hammy needed attention?”
“Not my hamstring.” I pin him to the wall next to the door where no one can see us if they look in. “I missed you, Sunshine.” I keep our lower halves separate as I kiss him deeply, inhaling the coconut oil clinging to him.
“Missed you too.” His tongue runs along my bottom lip. “But you don’t want to spoil your perfect image, so go get your skates on.” He smacks my ass.
“That’s not an incentive to stop. It’s a keep-going love tap.” I push off the wall and put distance between us. “My hammy’s much better thanks to your magic,” I tease.
“Go,” he orders with a grin.
I haul ass to the locker room to find Lucky and Benz arguing over the dance party music. They both claim to have the perfect song.
The room gets rowdy, and King breaks out a dance sequence that should be on video because he’s on fire. My insides glow with pride at how far he’s come this season from the shy rookie who barely spoke to the center of attention during the dance party.
Lucky twerks against Drake, who smiles and spanks his ass. Lucky swears he’s going to get Drake to lead a dance before a game. I don’t see that happening.
My jealousy takes me by surprise as I watch them. They’re stronger since coming out and ignore the online hate and rumors.
I could choose the same path. Victoria referred me to another therapist, one whose specialty will help me work through my issues. I’ve had an easy life compared to most people, and it’s difficult to fully accept that the darkness I’ve felt inside me results from guilt and repressed emotions.
But my therapist insists that if I minimize my past, it will adversely affect my present. It’s hard not to care about other people’s opinions of me.
My parents and I have spoken again, and they’ve assured me they love me but have also encouraged me to stay silent until I retire. They will never understand how hard that is for me.
During warm-ups, we skate onto the ice to a standing ovation. The crowd’s excitement and thirst for a win reverberate in my chest. Their support, or lack of, can be a game changer. Their spirit lifts us up when we’re tiring.
I love my job and appreciate our fans. Not many people get to experience the force of fan admiration on a weekly basis. I’m so grateful.
We’ve got some downtime to get treatments and strategize before Coach comes in and does the pregame speech.
Liska tosses me a jersey. “Give that to Grayson.” It’s for Pride Night, and his name is embroidered on the back.
I trace it with my finger, but I don’t experience the guilt that he’s not a player.
He absolved me of any lingering responsibility, and I wouldn’t trade our current situation for all the fame and fortune in the world.
I’d quit hockey before I let Gray go. None of this means anything without him. This team has given me my dream, but Gray is my Sunshine. The love of my life.
If anything, I wish he would wear a jersey with my name on it. I love seeing him in my clothes.
I scan the room, realizing these men are my family. They have my back, no questions asked.
“Hey,” I yell, and clear my throat. “I’ve got something to say.
” I internally kick myself for stating the obvious.
All eyes are on me as I keep talking. “It’s been a weird couple of months for me.
I learned some things about myself that were a surprise, the biggest thing: I’m bisexual.
” The room is eerily still for a moment, when the door bangs open.
“Kenney, time to tape your leg. Let’s go,” Gray hollers, then takes in the room. “What’s up?” he asks cautiously.
“No big deal, but our captain came out to us,” Benz sings.
“We’re like a gay herd of rams,” Lucky chimes in with a provocative hip swivel.
“Congratulations.” Gray’s eyes light up, and he turns pink, but he doesn’t move.
I cross the room and kiss him. “Have you met my boyfriend, Gray?” I hug him tightly as he pulls back, wide-eyed. He once said I’d never kiss him in the locker room, and now I second-guess this. I whisper, “Is this okay with you?”
His grin takes over his entire face as he devours my mouth again, but then he ends the kiss with a laugh. “Benzy’s gonna yell at us for kissy-face.”
“Don’t worry about that guy.” I’m smiling so wide my cheeks hurt. “Liska brought you this.” I shove the Pride jersey at him.
“Vho knew the shirt could turn people?” Liska’s gruff voice is full of amusement.
“And if I see any of you fuckers exchanging money because you bet for or against Gray and I,” I pause, thinking of a substantial threat. “I’ll throw you out of the group chat.” I ignore their grumbles.
Gray said he’d never push me, but he’s so happy it’s as if rays of sunshine are coming out of his pores. I made the right decision.
“I’m proud of you,” he whispers in my ear, then gives me a peck and turns away. “Kenney, time’s a-wasting.” He points in the direction of the training room.
The game’s a blur, but we win decisively. It’s like I’ve been freed from a cage, and I fly around the ice. I score an all-time high of three goals with one assist.
Drake slaps my shoulder. “You should come out before every game.” He walks past me as if I could actually do that every game.
Coach moves practice to tomorrow afternoon, and the team decides on a place to celebrate tonight.
We have a private room, so I’m able to touch Grayson, and it’s liberating. I get to kiss him in the second place he never thought I would, so for the first time, I’m exceeding expectations. And my lips are constantly on him, warming me like a soft flame.
Almost everyone has come up to congratulate us on our relationship, and my heart soars. The ability to be ourselves is cathartic, almost like salvation. I’m not worried about touching or talking too close for too long or glances that give away my feelings.
It’s an entirely new level of understanding of coming out. I thought I knew, but I had no idea. I want to shout from the rooftops how much I love my man. There will be no way of hiding my love for him.
“Do we have to tell management?” I ask Gray.
His brown eyes widen. “Technically, we’re breaking the rules, but we signed releases when they hired me because of our friendship. They won’t let me treat you anymore.” He threads his fingers through mine. “We’re really doing this.”
“Nothing could stop me,” I vow. “We can talk specifics, but by the end of the season, the world will know you’re mine.”
His smile tells me everything. “You’re the one who needs a ‘keep off’ sign. No one cares about me.”
To celebrate, I have an extra drink as the team toasts us. By the time we leave, the restaurant is closing down and the streets are quiet for New York, which means there’s light traffic and only a few horns blowing.
We huddle against the building, waiting for our rideshare. He thought I ordered one, and I thought he did.
The team reluctantly leaves us when Grayson taunts them. “What, you think two petite little things like us can’t make it home in the big bad city?” A few guys shout out to text them when we get home.
“Bunch of worriers.” I wave at the last departing car.
Gray checks his phone again. “It says two minutes, but it said three minutes five minutes ago.” He pockets his phone and blows on his fingers. “If it weren’t so windy, or if we had on toques, I’d say we should walk.”
“Yeah, hats would’ve been good, but I’ll keep you warm.” I rub against his shoulder.
“Get a room,” a guy in his late teens or early twenties sneers as he passes by with a friend.
My temper flares, and Gray subtly grips my coat sleeve, muttering, “Let it go.”
“Hey, that’s Ace Lapointe. Great game, man.” The very drunk friend of the sneerer stumbles toward us.
“Thanks.” I plaster on a friendly smile.
He trips again, and Gray reaches out to prevent him from falling on me.
“You need a bodyguard?” the surly guy asks.
“Does he?” Gray growls as if daring the guy to get closer.
“Your team is full of—”
“Shut it.” His friend cuts him off and attempts to pull him away, but he resists.
“Listen to your friend,” Gray says, stepping between me and the guys.
“Excuse me. Do you have any idea who I am? You’re a nobody!” The guy yells and lunges. I’ll never know if he was posturing or meant harm because I hit him.
As I’m mid-swing, we hear a voice holler, “Hey, is everything all right?”
Another guy in a hoodie race-walks toward us with his hands in his pockets. My fist connects with the guy’s face, and he goes down.
“He hit me,” he cries. “Ace Lapointe hit me.”
“No, he didn’t, you idiot. I did. Are you so delirious you can’t even tell who hit you?” Gray stands over him with a menacing glare.
“Let’s go.” His friend tugs him up, and they back away as the stranger reaches us.
Gray turns to him, ready for a fight.
“Those guys give you any trouble?” he asks, and the wind exposes his bright red hair.
I instantly recognize him as a rookie for the New York Nationals, our rival hockey team. “Hey, Rhys.” I relax and explain. “One of them was obnoxious and I—”
“He was too polite to them, so I punched him,” Gray interrupts me. “Do you know them?”
Rhys grimaces. “Unfortunately. I played in high school with the one with attitude. He’s entering the draft this summer. I followed them because they were harassing a few women and I…” He waves his hand as if to explain. “It never occurred to me they’d bother two big guys.”
“He was a cocky little shit and basically pulled the do-you-know-who-I-am card.” Gray has visibly relaxed, but I can tell he’s still tense.
“His father rides his ass, and they are politically connected. The asshat’s sure he’s immune to consequences,” Rhys says.
“I’m glad I put him in his place.” Gray quips as our rideshare pulls up. “Can we drop you somewhere?”
“Nah, I live close.” He turns to me. “Not to be a total fan, but it was nice meeting you when you’re not trying to kick my ass, Ace.” Rhys holds out his hand and I shake it.
“You don’t make it easy,” I say honestly, and he reddens.
“Night.” Rhys waves and continues down the street.
The small car is a haven from the cold, bringing the smell of warmth and cumin. Its size makes it totally normal for my leg to rest along Gray’s.
“Why did you—”
“Will he go home or follow those idiots, looking out for innocent bystanders?” Gray interrupts me for the second time.
Gray only interrupts people when he’s trying to protect them. I don’t need his protection, but I’ll wait until we get home to call him out. “Rhys seems like a good guy. I hope he doesn’t end up needing help. Should we go back?” It would suck if something bad happened to him if we could prevent it.
Gray twists in his seat to see out the back window. “He’s gone.” He’s distracted on his phone for the rest of the ride, and I’m fuming that he’s ignoring me.
When we’re alone in the elevator, he holds up his screen. “Here’s Rhys Brant’s number if you want to text him and make sure he’s home safe.” All the fight leaves me and he shrugs. “You can pretend you weren’t worried, or you can reach out.”
As the elevator doors open, I drag him out and into our apartment without a word.
The door shuts behind us, and my lips fuse with his. I’m intent on getting him naked as soon as I get an explanation.
He surprises me by leaning back, cupping my face, and searching my eyes. “Are you okay? Did the darkness take you over?”
“I’m fine, and we can stop calling it the darkness unless we want it to be a code word.
Thanks to therapy, we can call it what it is: my repressed feelings overwhelming me.
” I press a chaste kiss to his lips. “But, G, I’m not some young kid who needs protection.
As a grown-ass man, I can handle the consequences of my actions. ” My hand curves around his hip.
He sighs into my mouth. “You never resort to physical violence, so it shocked me. Can you understand why I’m concerned? It’s so out of character.”
“I’ve never had someone insult the man I love before, and I had to shut his entitled mouth.
It wasn’t a blackout or a rage surge. Instead, an old-fashioned protect-my-man punch.
Thank you for your concern.” I hug him tighter.
“One more thing to work on in therapy.” A humorless laugh escapes me.
“I’m not backing away from my actions. I’ll take responsibility. ”
“That kid is trouble, and I’m doubly sure after what Rhys said. You heard him yelling your full name. He’s liable to sue for attention or clout. No one gives a shit if the Enforcers trainer knocks out an aspiring hockey player.”
“I don’t like it,” I complain.
“Didn’t think you would. Text Rhys and come to bed.” His fingers skim my back as he walks away.