Chapter 38
Grayson
I sit in the recliner and watch the snow continue to fall. My parents were right; if they hadn’t left when they did, they might not have made it to my brother’s house. It’s been snowing for days, and the schools are closed. All the flights are delayed or canceled.
Not being able to leave is killing me. Austin thought I was giving up on us, and that is not acceptable. His doubt, even for a second, crushes me because I should be the one he can count on.
The bottle of whiskey is heavy in my hand, and I rub my heart with the other.
I’m to blame for him not being in the right headspace to play hockey. I made the wrong decision by coming here, and now I’m trapped in the snow. We’re both unraveling, and it’s too dangerous to go back to him. I take another sip of whiskey.
I’m hurting the man I love because I’m scared that someday in the future he might change his mind.
I
Am
An
Asshole.
He begged me to come home, but I stubbornly thought I knew better. My reasons for waiting were based in fear, not reality. And I made it so much worse.
Austin has worked hard for his career, and he can’t retire for me. It will be the kill shot to our relationship.
He’ll be happy at first. But I’ve felt the shock of not playing hockey.
Little things will sneak up on him. He won’t be on the All-Star team, and that day will be a gut punch.
If the team makes a run for The Cup without him, the FOMO will eat at him.
He’ll be lost on draft day and during rookie training camp because he won’t be taking new players under his wing.
A hundred little moments will add up to a gaping hole in him. He’ll resent me because of his retirement. Austin might not do it purposefully, but the bitterness will grow, creating distance between us.
I should’ve gone home yesterday when I had the chance. Missing him is a physical ache.
The thought of him making a statement about his sexuality while I’m away haunts me.
I need to be there for him. He doesn’t fully understand that he won’t come out once.
It’ll be necessary to come out every time he meets someone new.
He’ll have to come out hundreds of times.
His parents were easy compared to the hate he’ll receive from anonymous people hiding behind their screen names.
I bring the bottle to my lips and take another swig, wallowing like a child. Austin’s been clear he wants us and for me to be with him. I’ve given him a reason to doubt my love and commitment.
I’ll call him first thing in the morning. There’s too much whiskey in me to talk again tonight, and even with one eye closed, I can’t see my phone to send a text.
My phone rings on my chest, and I jerk awake in the recliner. I fumble to answer it in the muted light of early morning.
“Tinny?” I rasp.
“Mr. Ward?” Mr. Dimon asks, and I pull the lever on the recliner, sitting up with a gasping grunt. “Are you drunk?”
“Uh, no? Maybe?” I slap my face to get my brain cells working. “How can I help you, sir?”
“I want my trainer back,” he says bluntly. There’s a pause, and I should speak, but I don’t know what he’s saying. “Did you speak to your lawyer?”
“Umm.” I search my phone and see two missed calls. “She called, but I was asleep.”
“Ah, let me be the one to give you the good news that the criminal charges against you have been dropped. You’re free to come back to work.”
I shut my eyes, daring to hope. “What about the civil case?”
“Based on the evidence, it shouldn’t be a problem. Will you be in today?”
“I’m, uh, I’m in Canada, and there’s a snowstorm.” There’s a blanket of white with no distinction of the roads. “I’ll be back as soon as possible. Thank you.”
Since it’s early, I text Austin to call me when he wakes up. My phone rings immediately.
“I’m so sorry, I pushed you away when I should’ve pulled you closer. I love you. Please forgive me,” I rush all the words out.
“You’re coming home.” The certainty in his voice brings me to my knees.
“Yes, but there’s that inconvenient snowstorm still standing in my way. I spent last night trying to get any flight out here but there’s nothing,” I ramble.
“We’ll figure out a way.” I hear the smile in his voice.
“Oh, the criminal charges were dropped.” Getting home to fix things with Austin is crucial, and everything else can wait.
“Wait. Did you say the charges were dropped? Why aren’t you happy?”
“Because I’m coming home for you, not my job.” I punch my thigh at my stupidity at not leaving yesterday.
“Sunshine, if you say you love me and you’re coming home, I believe you. I’m texting you a quote since you’re not here for sticky notes.” My phone beeps, and I read You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. Pride and Prejudice.
“I don’t deserve you.”
He switches to a video call, and he’s breathtaking. His short hair is sticking up, and he looks like he hasn’t slept, but he’s the reason my heart beats.
I let out a slow breath. “I love you so much it hurts.”
“Same. How can I help you get home?”
“You got any pull with Mother Nature?” I might have to rent a car instead of waiting for a plane.
The storm swept through Canada and then barreled down the East Coast, knocking out power and closing airports.
“Our game is postponed,” Austin says, staring at me through the phone from our bed.
“It’s the damn apocalypse. Maybe I’ll find a polar bear to ride down on.
” I refresh the airline page, then shut my laptop.
“The airlines are all grounded, but of course rich people can use their private jets.” I snort at the hypocrisy.
“If the airports don’t clear flights in the next few hours, I’ll drive back. ”
Austin’s face scrunches up and brightens, not matching his words. “Ugh. Team business. I gotta go. I’ll call you back.” He blows me a kiss and hangs up the phone.
In the past, his needing to get off the phone for team business would’ve brought on a strong bout of otherness. Now I’m secure enough to tell my destructive inner voice to go kick rocks.
The plow clears the road, and I snow-blow the driveway so I can leave quickly when the time comes. I dwell on the fact that I didn’t solve anything by coming here, and now I can’t go home.
There’s been no new snow since this morning, but a few highways are closed due to large snowdrifts and dangerous ice. Hopefully, I can fly out tomorrow. As long as the weather holds, everything should be clear.
The mindless physical activity gave me a chance to register the relief of the criminal charges being dropped.
The threat of jail no longer looms over me, and the weight of anticipation has disappeared.
I’ve been granted a reset on my dream life to appreciate every precious minute with the love of my life.
Austin and I play phone tag for a couple of hours. Finally, we’re able to talk around dinnertime.
Austin can’t stop smiling, but I can’t place his background. “I have a surprise. It’s a good one, but don’t book a flight until you talk to me.”
“What, you need extra time to pull this off?” I tease and he turns pink.
“Something like that. I gotta go.”
“Call me when you go to sleep so we can stay on the phone all night.”
“I can’t wait to see you.” His blue eyes crinkle with happiness.
“Don’t get your hopes up. They have to get all the stranded people to their destinations before I can book a flight. It could be another day,” I say softly, not wanting to disappoint him.
“Right. All positive thoughts.” He snorts. “Do I sound like Benz?”
“Almost.” I laugh. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
I’ve worn a path in the carpet from pacing. I’m not worried, but I’m far from stress free. He promised me a good surprise, but it doesn’t make sense in a snowstorm.
Suddenly, I hear a horn beeping repeatedly. Out the picture window, I see a van pulling into my parents’ dark driveway. I smirk, thinking it has the wrong house, when the door slides open and Austin pops out, followed by Liska, Drake, Lucky, Benz, Griff, King, and Kenney.
“How?” I fling the door open and run out in my socks.
“Hi, Sunshine.” Austin picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist.
“Six out of ten,” Lucky declares, and we all turn to him. “The classic run and jump got off to a slow start with a small leap, but you finished strong with the leg wrap.” He grins as if he makes perfect sense.
I hook my legs tighter and take Austin’s mouth.
“No—” Benz starts.
“Back off, they’re allowed kissy-face,” King cuts Benz off.
“What are you all doing here?” I allow Austin to carry me back to the house since I don’t have shoes on.
“You said rich people could fly, so I thought of the team jet and called Mr. Dimon. He’s at the airport waiting for us, so hustle and get your crap. I’m taking you home.” Austin pecks my lips and sets me on my feet. “Go.” He smacks my ass.
“But why is everyone here?” I call over my shoulder as I run up the stairs.
My bag is packed, so I’m back in seconds.
“We weren’t going to miss Operation Retrieve Sunshine,” Drake drawls in his Swedish accent.
“He’s my Sunshine,” Austin growls fiercely, as if they’ve already had this disagreement.
“But why? You were going to see me soon.” I’m confused.
“We did this wrong.” Benz throws his head back and groans.
“We weren’t doing a choreographed dance,” King admonishes him.
Lucky holds his hands up and wiggles his fingers. “Congrats on not being a criminal.”
I sink down on the bottom step. “Thank you?” I’m not sure how else to respond.
Liska pats my head. “I told you I’d fix it. And we did.” He gestures to Austin.
“What did you do?” Austin jolts in surprise.
“You have friends. I have friends. Friends help friends.” Liska shrugs with a smug smile.
“Friends?” I parrot like an idiot.
“The hardest part of this surprise was making sure no one texted in the friend group chat,” Drake says.
My gaze travels over the men in my parents’ house. I took their loyalty for granted because I’d been oblivious. It was as if I couldn’t accept their friendship at face value; I put limitations on it that were all in my head.
These men are the best friends I’ve ever had. I can count on them to have my back. My eyes sting as I take them in and feel like today, my nickname should be Lucky.
King taps my head. “Low-key, he’s having a moment. Let’s wait for him outside.”
They file out the front door as Austin picks up my bag and holds out his hand. “Come home where you belong, Sunshine. Our friends are waiting.”
“Our friends.” I grin like an idiot and follow him out. After the team spoke up for me, I knew they had my back, but this is on an entirely new level.
In the middle of hockey season, when they have almost no time to spend with the people they love, they chose to get on a plane to come get me. That’s ride-or-die friendship right there, and I’ve never been so grateful.
My life reset is off to a spectacular start.