Chapter 12
I was consumed with so many emotions.
I was enraged, filled with pity, protective, and ashamed all at once.
Hearing her story, it was what we’d discovered, or at least the bare outline Micro had figured out, but the details were far worse.
And then to know she’d carried this around all these years when she didn’t have to. She’d been innocent—an innocent who had been ostracized and vilified by many. And I’d been one of the worst.
How the hell did I confess to her my part in her harassment and not destroy my chance of us being anything more than friends? Since her return a week ago tomorrow, we’d seen each other daily, and I’d learned much more about her.
I was sure there was an attraction there on her side.
As for me, I hungered for her.
She was in my dreams and fantasies. I wanted Paige Worthy.
When we ganged up to get her to come to dinner today, I was thrilled.
I wanted to see how she got along with the rest of the club and how they were with her.
Despite my brothers flirting until I wanted to punch them in the face, it was wonderful.
They acted the way they did because they’d guessed I was interested in her. This wasn’t to say they wouldn’t be willing if she showed interest in one of them. She was attractive on so many levels.
She was seated with her head hanging down.
I caught Diablo’s eye.
He nodded.
I knew what I had to do, but not in front of the others. This was something I needed to do alone. I glanced over at my best friend. He was watching me.
Tell her, he mouthed.
I will.
Alone, I mouthed back.
T gave me a chin lift.
Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I leaned over her shoulder.
“Paige, honey, you look exhausted.
Let’s get you home.”
Her head came up.
“I think that’s for the best.
Let me say goodbye.
I don’t want to be rude.”
“We’ll explain that you had to leave.
They’ll understand.
No one will hold it against you,” Butcher said kindly.
She glanced over at Tiago.
“I’m sorry, Tiago.
I never meant to cause issues, lie, or anything else.”
“Dragon Lady, you did what you had to.
I don’t hold it against you, not for a moment.
It’s that goddamn family of yours who’s to blame, but we’ll talk about them another time.
Are you ready to go home?” T asked.
“I am.
I hate to make you leave.”
“He’ll stay here.
I’ll take you home,” I informed her.
She gave me a startled look and then shook her head.
“You don’t need to do that.
If Tiago’s not ready to go, I can call a cab.”
“Over my dead body, I’ll let you take a cab ride with a stranger.
I’ll take you, end of story,” I informed her before pulling her chair away from the table and gently helping her stand using my hand under her elbow.
“Go out the back way.
It’ll be easier,” Diablo informed us.
She insisted on thanking the ones in the room and hugged T.
He whispered something in her ear that I couldn’t hear.
Once that was over, we made our way outside.
I wasn’t sure if she’d ever been on a bike, and in her condition, I was leery of taking her on mine. Instead, I walked over to my house. When I entered the code to open my garage, I caught her looking around with interest. If she forgave me, I’d bring her back and show her my place. However, that was a big if. After I told her what I did, she’d most likely never want to see me again.
Without a word, I took her to my truck.
Helping her inside, I got us headed toward her place in record time.
She was quiet, and I didn’t force her to talk.
I used the silence to rehearse what I’d say after we got there.
It wasn’t a far drive to her place.
I walked her to the door.
When she unlocked it, Fenrir came running to greet us.
She’d insisted he would be alright with staying here while she was at the compound. We told her he’d be welcome, but she said not this time. I shut the door and then knelt to greet the dog. He was happy to see us. Paige went into the kitchen and got food ready for him. She seemed to be moving on autopilot.
As Fenrir ate, I knew I needed to say something.
“Paige, I know you’ve been through the wringer today.
And I don’t mean to pile more on you, but I need to talk to you about something.
I’m afraid it shouldn’t wait.
We need to get all the ugly stuff out so you can start the process of healing.”
She wearily moved to the living room and dropped onto the couch.
She rubbed her forehead.
“What else can there be?” she asked tiredly.
I cautiously approached and sat on the opposite end of her couch.
She was studying me.
Fenrir came over to lie on the floor at her feet.
He was watching us both intently, sensing the tension.
“I said earlier that I was apologizing for what I did in the present and the past.
I can’t tell you how goddamn sorry I am.
I feel rotten for how I treated you.”
“Scorpion, I get why you were upset when you recognized me in Tiago’s hospital room.
And why you were even more upset when you found me there again.
We’ve already talked about this.
It’s fine.”
“Those incidents might be, but not the ones in the past,” I added.
“The things you said back then, I don’t hold against you either.
If I had been in your shoes and my best friend, a person I saw as a sibling, was hurt like Tiago was, I’d be the same or worse.
The words you said weren’t any worse than others I heard, and in a few cases, they were nicer.”
I groaned.
I hated to hear that, and it made me want to find everyone who was unkind to her and teach them a lesson.
But that wasn’t what I was trying to say.
“That blows, and we’ll talk about who did it another time.
Tonight, I want you to know I’m sincerely asking for forgiveness for what I did.”
“What did you do?” she asked, puzzled.
“I’m the one who left many of the notes on your car.
I vandalized it repeatedly.
You felt as if someone was watching you, you said.” I slipped that in.
Paige slowly sat straighter.
I had her whole attention.
“Yes, I did, but I could never see the person clearly to know if it was someone or merely a shadow.
I thought I was imagining it.
Was I not?” she asked incredulously.
“It was me.
I’m ashamed that I took that route.
I knew deep down that it was wrong, but I did it anyway.
And it was my fault you were fired twice. I told the owners that if they continued to employ you, they’d have to face the consequences with the club. I didn’t have anything to do with what the kids at school were doing, but it could be they got ideas from hearing about what was happening to you outside of school,” I confessed. I had to drop my head.
The couch shifted.
When I looked, she stood beside me with her hands on her hips.
She was headed into full dragon mode.
I wouldn’t be surprised to see flames shoot out of her mouth.
“It was you!? I knew by how you’d look at me and what you said when we ran into each other on the street that you disliked me.
I even understood why.
But I didn’t think you’d take it that far.
I kept trying to figure out who detested me that much. Jesus Christ, you have no clue what those incidents did to me. I became a recluse in my home. And that wasn’t enough.” Tears were in her eyes and spilling down her face. I scooted closer and held out my hand, but she backed away, shaking her head.
“Paige, please, I regret my actions more than I can say.
I was an immature idiot.
I know I hurt you, and I want to make up for that.
Just tell me what to do,” I begged.
“Make up for it! How can you do that? You caused me to leave the only place I’d known as home.
I had to live in a strange place with my cold family.
Hell, I became even more suicidal after I left! It’s a miracle I made it to eighteen and could escape,” she shouted.
The sensation of what a knife thrust into my chest would be like hit me when she said she was more suicidal.
I hadn’t thought or known it had affected her that badly.
The thought of Paige killing herself and not being a part of the world made me sick.
I came to my feet and latched onto her arm before she put more room between us. Paige struggled to get away, but I held firm. I made sure not to do it too tightly. I didn’t want to mark her. I hauled her closer until I could get my arms around her. I saw her anger through her tears. She didn’t stop wiggling to get away.
“I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
Don’t cry.
Please. You’re killing me,” I murmured.
“I hate you,” she muttered as she punched me in the stomach.
It wasn’t a hard punch since our closeness prevented her from getting power behind it.
“And you should, but I know you, Paige.
You can be a dragon, but you’re a loving and caring soul underneath.
I don’t believe you hate me.
You’re pissed at me, as you should be. I never intended for you to be pushed to the brink of taking your life because of me. I only wanted you miserable and maybe to feel an ounce of what Tiago did. His whole life was changed in a blink. I thought you were a spoiled, inconsiderate brat who was out joyriding without her parents’ permission. That’s what the police told us.”
As I rambled, she continued to cry and beat her fists on my chest.
I was at a loss.
What should I do? In desperation, I did the only thing that came to mind.
I wanted her crying to stop and for her to tell me what to do to make things up to her. The answer that popped into my head was to kiss her.
She froze the instant our lips touched.
I gently moved mine against hers.
I wanted to connect us physically and deeply.
I was about to move away when her mouth responded. Increasing the pressure, I deepened the kiss. Her fists became hands sliding up to grip behind my neck. Due to her kissing me back, I was able to slip my tongue inside her mouth and explore. She whimpered, causing me to be even more turned on.
My erection was growing at an incredible rate.
Was this the time and place for it? No, but my cock had a mind of its own.
All the dreams about her surfaced and fed my desire.
Add to it the feel of her lush curves pressing into my body, which was making me hotter.
As my mouth did its thing, my hands ran over her sides, hips, back, and around to cup her ass.
It was abundant and soft.
I kneaded both cheeks.
As she moaned, I slid my palms forward to cup her tits. They were the size of melons and overflowed my large hands. Christ, I wanted to know what they looked like. What color were her nipples, and were they the size of fifty-cent pieces, bigger, or the size of a quarter? How sensitive were they?
Suddenly, our kiss was broken.
She shoved me away.
It was unexpected, so I wasn’t prepared for it.
I stumbled back. It broke my hold on her, allowing Paige to scramble away from me. She placed the coffee table between us. Her face was red, and she was panting. The tears were gone, and in their place was smoldering desire mixed with anger. I’d been with enough women to know when one was aroused. Paige was.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she snapped.
“I thought it was obvious.
I kissed you.
And you returned it.”
“No, I didn’t.
You took me by surprise, that’s all.
I want you to leave.
Now,” she demanded as she made her way to the front door.
I didn’t want this to end until she told me what I could do to make it right.
“Paige, it might not have been the ideal time, but that kiss was something we both wanted and needed.”
“You have to be kidding me! You treat me like dirt, drive me to be suicidal, ruin my life twice, and now you want to fuck.
Go to hell.
You can find some other fool who’ll drop her panties for you for the night.
I’m not some slut who’s so desperate for a man she’ll sleep with anyone and then hop to the next guy. I have more self-respect than to be a whore. Get out.”
I rushed at her.
It was a mistake.
Fenrir placed himself between us and snarled.
His teeth showed as he protected his mistress. While I was happy he was there to protect her, she didn’t need to be shielded from me. I stopped.
“Whoa, boy, it’s alright.
I’m not gonna hurt your mistress.
I’m a friend.
Paige, call Fenrir off.”
“Why should I? I knew I should’ve stayed away and never let Tiago talk me into helping him.
Go back and tell the rest of your club they won’t see me again.
You’ve had time to find Tiago someone to care for him.
I’m leaving, and I won’t be back. It seems it’s my fate always to be the one fucked over.”
Panic swamped me.
I was losing her, and I didn’t want that.
However, if I kept pushing tonight, it would happen.
I had to think about preventing her from leaving and making her forgive me. Once that occurred, I could approach the subject of us becoming more than casual acquaintances. However, there was one thing she had to know.
“I don’t think you’re a slut or whore.
I know you don’t sleep around with men.
I wasn’t expecting that.
I’ll leave you to think about everything. But I don’t want you to leave. Neither my club nor Tiago does either. We can work through this. I’m asking you to work with me.”
“Scorpion, I can’t think.
I need to be alone.
Please, just leave.
I-I need time,” she sobbed. The tears were back.
I didn’t push her.
Instead, I nodded.
She moved until she could unlock and open the door.
Fenrir shifted to keep himself between us. She stood with the door shielding her. I paused as I got to her.
“I’ll never hurt you again, Paige Worthy.
I swear on my life and club that I won’t.
You’re safe with me.
I’ll see you later.”
It was hard not to kiss her.
One taste, and I was addicted.
Somehow, I found the willpower to hold back and walk out.
The door shut, and I heard the lock engage immediately. It was a slow walk to my truck. I had a lot of explaining to do when I got back to the compound, and then planning. I wasn’t losing her. She might make me pay for what I did, and I was okay with that. It was what I deserved. But in the end, I was determined to win Paige’s heart. She already had mine.
***
It was the fifth day since the terrible revelations on Thanksgiving and my confession to Paige about what I did to her all those years ago—those days had been utter hell.
When I left her townhome on Thanksgiving night, I’d returned to the compound and filled everyone in on what I did to her all those years ago.
While I was at it, I confessed to Tiago about the camera and bug in his hospital room.
It had been removed by Micro the day he left. He’d been less than happy with that. No one was happy with me. The disappointment on Jauhnna’s face cut deeper than the guys for some reason.
After bringing them up to date, I vowed to take whatever punishment they voted was appropriate.
What I did to Paige was shit we beat people’s asses for.
I wouldn’t shirk it.
That was left for them to decide. Once they did, I’d take my punishment without protest.
I explained she hadn’t taken my revelation well and that she’d confessed that everything she had suffered those months after the incident had almost driven her to kill herself.
That had rattled the club, but not as severely as it did Tiago.
He was upset about the lies of her family, how she’d been made to suffer all these years, and how it was driving her away again.
He insisted we had to find a way to keep her in St. Augustine and to remain a part of our lives. None of us knew how to do that.
I’d stopped by her place several times, but there was no answer.
I saw her car in the parking lot, so I knew she was there, ignoring me.
I didn’t push it.
It was hard for me to concentrate at work. I spent hours throughout the day and night trying to come up with solutions. Tiago was angry and becoming belligerent. It was only due to his not wanting to disappoint Paige that he let us keep up on his wound care, turning schedule, and supplements. I had no idea how long that would last.
I lived in fear that she’d leave in the middle of the night.
Sure, Micro could find her if she did, but it would take way more work to get her back than if we got her to stay.
I asked the prospects to watch her place at night while I stayed with Tiago to help him.
The two of us were a pathetic sight to see. We moped around his house and barely talked.
I berated myself repeatedly for what I did and felt guilty that none of us had figured out we’d been lied to by her family.
Then there was the anger.
I wanted to make her parents and her brother pay.
I mentioned it to Diablo, and he assured me they would. He said their time would come, and to leave it to him and Micro. I had no idea what he meant, but I prayed it was soon. I needed an outlet for my fury.
If I thought sending her flowers or gifts would help the issue, I would’ve sent her something daily, but those things didn’t matter to Paige.
Heartfelt actions were what was needed.
Helping people was what resonated with her.
While trying to decide what to do, I sent her more than one text each day, apologizing, sharing about my day, asking her to talk about hers, and telling her about myself. She never answered, but I saw she did read them. I was amazed that she didn’t block me.
It was during one of those long updates that I informed her that Mr.
Gill was no longer working at the hospital.
It seemed that his wives were less than thrilled about his secret lives with them and the prostitutes.
They informed the hospital board of his character and reported him to the police. He’d run. Cops all over Florida were on the lookout for him. They felt confident they’d find him. Even telling her that and saying she could return to the hospital hadn’t garnered a response.
However, I was about to break.
I couldn’t go one more day without seeing her, and I needed to know she was okay, which was why I was riding into the parking lot of her complex.
I found her car in its usual spot.
I guessed they had assigned parking. After parking, I walked toward her townhome. I was almost there when I ran into Alvin. He gave me a chin lift.
“I see you’re back again.
Has she opened the door for you yet?”
I wasn’t sure what to say in response to his remark other than the truth.
Had she been talking to him? Did he know what happened?
“She hasn’t, but this might be my lucky day.
Have you seen her? Spoke to her? I want to make sure she’s okay.
I guess you heard what went down.”
“I don’t know anything about what caused the rift between you two.
I thought you were getting along, but then boom, you’re moping around the complex.
I’ve seen her a few times walking Fenrir.
She’s sad and looks tired, but other than that, I think she’s fine. She did talk about moving and finding a new job.”
“Son of a bitch,” I muttered.
“Son, I don’t know what you did, and if it’s something heinous, then I’ll see you in hell, but if not, you need to figure out how to keep her here.”
“I’m trying, but she’s stubborn.
Not that I blame her.
I screwed up.”
“If you’re not in a hurry, why don’t you come to my house and we’ll talk.
Maybe I can think of something to help you.
However, if you lie, I’ll know, and I’ll assist her to pack her shit and get away from you,” he warned.
Not having a better option, I agreed.
Within minutes, I was seated at his kitchen table.
He’d gotten us both a cup of coffee.
I felt like I lived on the stuff these past several days. In between sips, I explained my history with Paige, what led to her losing her job, and the part I played in it. Eventually, I tied it up with what was revealed on Thanksgiving. When I was done, Alvin was shaking his head and muttering, “Damn,” softly.
“You’re not making me feel better here, Alvin.
Your face says I’m screwed with no recourse.”
“No, you’re not hopeless, but it won’t be easy.
You were a moron, for sure, but what I can’t get over is her no-good family.
How could they treat her that way? She’s one of the sweetest, most loyal, and caring people I’ve met.
She’ll do anything for someone in need. Her parents would rather have a piece of shit like her brother than her. They need their heads examined. And the three of them should be made to pay for what they did to her and your friend.”
“Believe me, I agree, and so does my club.
My president and our computer guy are working on what to do to bring justice to the brother and her parents.
My job is to get Paige to stay and forgive me.
I won’t be able to stand it if she doesn’t.”
He stared at me for several moments, and then he smiled.
“You’ve got it bad for her, don’t you? Don’t deny it.
I can tell.
I had the same look on my face when it came to my wife.
She knocked me for a loop the first time I saw her, and it never lessened. I kept falling for her. She was the best thing to ever happen to me.”
“How long has she been gone?”
“Five years.
She was having pain and never complained to anyone about it, not even me.
I took her to the doctor when it got too much to hide.
After running a ton of tests, they determined she had colon cancer, and it metastasized. She underwent chemo and radiation and all that, but it was too far gone. I lost her nine months later.”
His pain was evident on his face.
I reached over to squeeze his hand.
He gave me a sad smile.
“Don’t waste time, Scorpion.
We never know how much we might have.
Live life to its fullest.”
“That’s what I intend if I can earn Paige’s forgiveness.”
“You will.
Deep down, that girl is a nurturer.
You didn’t physically harm her.
You did what you did because you love your friend. Paige can understand that. She’s just wallowing in anger and possibly some self-pity. I can promise you, once she thinks on it long enough, she’ll see herself as lacking and turn this back to be all her fault somehow,” he added.
“But it’s not! None of this is her fault.
I messed up.
Her family majorly did.
And the club did to a degree because we should’ve pushed for better answers and not accepted what we were told.”
“I know, but that’s her.”
I ended up talking to Alvin for another forty-five minutes.
I asked about his wife.
He showed me pictures of her.
She’d been a knockout. I told him so, and he grinned. He explained how all the guys were after her, but he was the lucky one to win her. They’d been married thirty-three years before he lost her. They had two children. His daughter lived in Southern California. Her husband was stationed there as a Marine. They talked on the phone a lot and came once a year for a visit when they could. Alvin went to see them as often as he could. His son was a banker who lived in Daytona Beach, but they didn’t get along, so he rarely saw or heard from him.
By the time I excused myself to make one more fruitless effort to get Paige to open her door and talk to me, I wanted to adopt Alvin.
There were aspects of him that reminded me of my dad.
He shook my hand, wished me luck, and told me he was rooting for me.
A few minutes later, I knocked on Paige’s door, but wasn’t paying attention.
I knew it would be the same as the other times.
I was shocked when I heard a click, and the door swung open.
I drank in the sight of her. She was tired-looking but appeared unharmed. Fenrir was next to her. I stared at her, at a loss for words. It was as if my mind went blank.