Chapter 16
I felt like I was about to explode, pass out, and vomit all at the same time, oh, and cry, too.
I thought my life was finally on track, and I was headed for a happily ever after.
But if what this woman said was true, there was no way I’d come between Scorpion and his kid.
And based on her smirk, Bev would be a big enough whore to withhold contact with their child unless he did as she said. Or he fought and won in court. And that might not work. If a judge were to hold the fact that he was a biker against him, he might lose all rights.
Scorpion was yelling something.
The other guys were talking, and the other women were standing around watching.
Their words ran together, becoming unintelligible gibberish to me.
I knew I should say or do something, but my body was in shock and frozen in place. Scorpion yelled at Bev, then turned to me and gave me a pleading look as he said things to me. I didn’t understand any of it.
Fenrir’s nose in my palm finally jarred me to reality.
Then he licked my hand.
When I looked at him, he was making a whining sound.
He knew I was in distress and was trying to determine what was wrong. I rubbed his head. Then, words began to register. I tuned into Scorpion’s.
“You’re fucking lying, Bev.
If you’re pregnant, that kid belongs to someone else.
However, I doubt that you are.”
“I have proof.
Here is the sonogram.
I’m three and a half months along,” she said as she took a picture from the pocket of her skimpy jean shorts.
Scorpion snatched it away from her. He studied it, then shrugged.
“This doesn’t prove anything.
This could be anyone’s baby.
Your name isn’t on the picture, but you could still have faked it even if it was.
There’s no way I knocked you up. I always wore a condom.”
“It’s yours.
And I know it is because you’re the only man I was with three and a half months ago who had a condom malfunction.
You didn’t see it, but I did later in the bathroom.
There was a small hole in it.”
“Why didn’t you say something?” Wolverine asked.
“I wasn’t worried.
I’m on the shot, but it seems even that wasn’t enough to keep his swimmers from impregnating me.
I’ve been trying to see him for weeks to tell him, but he hasn’t been around the clubhouse,” she explained.
My stomach dropped lower, and I fought not to puke.
“It doesn’t mean it’s Scorpion’s.
Even intact condoms aren’t one hundred percent effective.
You could’ve gotten pregnant by any man you were with, and the condom be intact,” Wolverine argued.
He was right, though it seemed unlikely if she told the truth about the condom Scorpion wore.
The thought of him being with her, I hadn’t concentrated on at first, but now, when faced with this, I did.
Immediately, all the insecurities, the never fitting in, bullying, and how my family treated me and shaped my perception of myself, which I fought against constantly, hit me.
I was back to being an unloved, insecure, unattractive teenager trying to come to terms with myself.
I needed to get away.
I had to think, and I couldn’t do it here.
Too many people were watching me.
The walls were closing in on me. I whirled around and headed to the door. Scorpion came after me.
“Paige, baby, please stay.
Don’t go.
I can fix this,” he pleaded.
Fenrir was glued to my side.
I did halt long enough to respond to Scorpion’s pleading.
“I can’t.
I need space.
You have more than enough on your hands.
You need to figure out what the truth is. And the truth of the matter is this: if she carries your child, then we’re through. She’ll keep that baby from you if you stay with me. I won’t allow that to happen. The child needs someone to love it, and I doubt she has that ability,” I whispered at the end as tears ran down my face.
Scorpion was torn.
I could see it.
“Please, don’t say that.
It’s not mine.” He tried to assure me, but I heard a sliver of doubt in his voice.
“But it could be.
You had sex with her at that time?”
“I did, but —”
Tiago came up to us and interrupted.
“Let me take her home.
I’ll stay with her.
You need to get this straightened out.
She shouldn’t be here,” he told Scorpion.
“I don’t want her to be without me,” Scorpion argued.
“And I can’t be here right now,” I sobbed.
As the two of them argued, Fenrir nudged my leg.
He’d placed himself between me and the men.
Unable to stand another second of it, especially when I saw Bev scurrying our way, I bolted.
Scorpion and a few others yelled my name, but I ignored them.
Outside, the fresh air helped me breathe, but I was unsure what to do.
I didn’t have a car.
My purse was at Scorpion’s house. Should I get it and call a cab? Would they come this far? It was a long walk to town, even though I had Fenrir with me for protection.
There was increased yelling inside, which decided it for me.
I’d get my purse and then walk.
I’d be okay with Fenrir.
Not wanting to run into anyone, I jogged over to Scorpion’s house as quickly as I could. It wasn’t locked, so I simply entered, grabbed my purse, and went out the door. Fenrir and I were almost at the gate when my name was yelled again. It registered then that an engine was running. Turning, I found Tiago hanging out of his van’s window. He was in the driver’s seat.
“Get in.
I’m not letting you walk back to town or be alone,” he shouted.
Not relishing the walk, I gave in and did it.
I felt exhausted as I slumped into the passenger seat.
Tiago didn’t say a word.
He put the van in gear, and we pulled up to the gate, which opened on its own. Within moments, we were on our way to St. Augustine. I closed my eyelids and tried not to think. I needed that for a bit so I could center myself, and then I’d do the actual thinking. Tiago seemed to know what I needed, so he didn’t say a word. Fenrir was riding with his head between the seats.
Before I knew it, we were back in town.
Only when I opened my eyes as Tiago slowed down did I see we weren’t at my place.
I was happy that it wasn’t Scorpion’s.
We were about to pull into Tiago’s garage. I glanced over at him. He was watching me.
“You can’t be alone.
I promised him you wouldn’t.
And at your place, it’s too easy for you to lock yourself away.
At his, that would be awkward. This is as neutral as I can get it. I’m his best friend, but I’m your friend, too. I’ll give each of you whatever you need.”
I reached over and squeezed his arm.
The muscle beneath was like a rock.
Despite his limitations, Tiago was a very physically fit man.
“Thank you.
I can’t think about it yet.
And I need to.
That means I probably won’t talk a lot. And I can’t have Scorpion in my face. He’ll likely disagree with anything I decide.”
Tiago had moved the van inside, and we were stopped with the engine off.
“He won’t take losing you as the solution, Paige.
He won’t.
That man loves you.
He’ll figure out this fiasco with Bev, but you’ll need to talk to him at some point. This needs to be a joint decision.”
“Tiago, I know it should be, but Bev struck me as a woman who would be spiteful enough to keep his child from him.
And if he took her to court, there’s always a chance the judge won’t rule in his favor since he’s a biker.
You know how prejudiced people can be.
I won’t let him lose contact with his child. It’ll need his love, and it will eat away at Scorpion if he isn’t a part of his child’s life. I can’t do that. I know what it’s like to be unloved by your parents.”
“Jesus Christ, I’d like to meet your family and beat sense into them before tearing their heads off.
Paige, I swear, if Bev is pregnant and it turns out to be Scorpion’s baby.
He won’t allow her to take his child away from him, and he won’t lose you.
What you need to think about is, can you accept into your life and love a child that isn’t yours? Would you raise it if that kid came to be with Scorpion and you?”
He was lowering his chair to the ground on the lift built into the back of his van.
I got out and let Fenrir jump down to run over to stand by, waiting for Tiago.
I came to his side of the van before I answered.
I didn’t need to think this one over.
“Tiago, of course, I can love a child that isn’t mine.
And this one, if it’s Scorpion’s and we ended up with him or her by some miracle, would be part of him.
It would make it even easier for me to love.
However, even if it isn’t, I can be like Jauhnna and Diablo are with Jaycee.”
Tiago smiled.
“Good.
That’s what I hoped and thought you’d say.
Just don’t go into a funk and think the only solution is to break up with my friend.
He’ll never allow it. Work with him to solve this, not against him. He can’t be terrified on both fronts.” His words made a lot of sense.
“I’ll think it through, I promise.
Right now, all I want to do is lie down.
I feel exhausted.
I’m not trying to be a rude guest, but can I do that?”
“You can.
You know where the guest room is.
Use it.
The sheets are clean. I’m not taking any offense.”
“Thank you.
Oh, wait, we need to change your dressing.
And is there anything I can help you with?” I offered.
“We can skip the wound care tonight.”
“No, we won’t.
You do whatever you need, and I’ll be in shortly to change it.” I said adamantly.
He saw I wasn’t open to debate.
“Fine, but first, come and get some clothes to wear.
You can’t comfortably sleep in those.
I have a shirt and shorts that’ll be big on you but will work.”
That was how a half hour later, I was wearing Tiago’s clothes and leaning over his bare ass, listening to him tease me as I performed his wound care.
“Will you look at that? A gorgeous woman is touching and staring at my bare ass.
And she’s dressed in my clothes.
Man, I hope Scorpion doesn’t come barreling in here.
He might get jealous. Although let’s be honest, he should be anyway. I far outdo him in the sexy, good-looking, and bread-winning categories. You should think about dumping him for me.”
He was wiggling his eyebrows and winking at me, which made me giggle.
“I swear, one of these days, you’ll meet a woman who’ll make you forget all your charm, and you won’t know what to say to her.
You’ll fall under her spell immediately.
When it happens, I’ll tell you I told you so.
And warn her about your flirty ways,” I threatened.
His smile slipped.
“I wish that would happen, but I won’t hold my breath.
A woman wouldn’t voluntarily tie herself to a man like me.
I can’t give her all the things a whole man can.”
I’d finished applying the bandages, so I sat on the edge of his bed.
“That is utter nonsense.
You have so much to offer.
Yes, you can’t dance or run, but there’s not much else I’ve seen that you can’t do.
You’re independent, have a thriving career, a lovely home, and an incredible personality and wit, to name a few. You don’t let much get in your way of accomplishing things. Let me ask you this. If you hadn’t had the accident and became a paraplegic, and you met a woman who in every way met the criteria you have for the perfect woman, except she was paraplegic. Would you not even consider being with her because of it? Would you see and dismiss her as defective, broken, and not worthy of your time or love?”
“Fuck, no! How can you ask that?” he barked.
“How can you say what you did about yourself? It’s the same thing.
Don’t downgrade yourself.
You told me not to get into a funk.
Well, I’m trying. I’ve been faced with a woman who is the epitome of the ideal woman according to our culture. I’ve never been like her. She makes all kinds of insecurities surface for me. She’s the type of woman Scorpion should have.”
Tiago wiggled and used his arms to get himself on his side.
He was scowling hard at me.
“That’s utter bullshit.
There’s nothing wrong with you.
If others made you feel that way or told you shit, they’re the ones with the problem, not you.
“Thank you.
I’m trying to see it that way.
Okay, I think we’ve talked enough for one night.
Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Not that I can think of.
Get some sleep.”
“I will, but I’ll be back in a couple of hours to help with the turning,” I said as I tucked pillows behind his back and eased him back so he wasn’t putting too much pressure directly on his hip bones.
If I didn’t, they might break down.
“You don’t need to do that.
I can manage without the fluffing,” he stated.
“You might, but I can’t.
I like to torture you,” I joked.
We exchanged a few more quips, and then I headed to bed.
As I crawled under the covers, I sighed.
I hoped I’d sleep and, by morning, wake up to realize it had been a nightmare.
Wouldn’t that be perfect?
***
It hadn’t been a nightmare.
I woke up to the same reality.
My phone, which I’d had turned to silent at the compound, was full of texts and voicemails from Scorpion.
I read a few and then stopped. They were all from him, begging me not to leave him and swearing that he would solve the situation. He was still adamant that if Bev was pregnant, it wasn’t his baby.
I performed wound care again on Tiago, and we had breakfast, although I had no appetite.
He needed to eat so he’d heal.
After that, I insisted that he take me to my townhome.
He argued, but in the end, I won. I told him I didn’t want company when we arrived, and he had to go. Suffice it to say, he wasn’t happy. He warned me he’d check on me soon, and I’d better answer him. I agreed.
It had been an hour since I’d been at home.
I was cleaning.
It helped me to think.
I was deep in thought as I scrubbed the tub. I gave a startled scream when my cell phone rang. Rolling my eyes because I knew who it had to be, I pulled it out of my bra, and without checking the name, I answered.
“It has barely been an hour.
What do you expect? Miracles,” I asked slightly sarcastically.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re babbling about, and I don’t want to know—same old Paige.
Always weird and makes no sense,” my brother’s deep voice said.
Instantly, all happiness fled my heart and home.
I hated it when I’d get a call from one of them.
My parents were bad enough, but Paxton made me shiver and my skin crawl.
I hadn’t had contact with any of them since before I moved to St. Augustine. I didn’t bother to give them a forwarding address or tell them I was moving.
“Paxton, this is a surprise.
I thought you were someone else calling—a friend.” Why I felt I had to explain, I don’t know.
“Friend, sure, I bet you have those.
Listen, I want to know what the fuck you did?” he snapped.
“Did? What do you mean?”
“I mean that I went to your apartment only to find someone else living there.
He told me that you left months ago and he had no idea where you went.
Why did you move? Why do it and not tell your family that you were even considering it, let alone that you did it?”
Over the years, I’ve tried to avoid conflict with my family.
It ended up being better in the long run.
However, I was done with that.
They’d ruined so much of my life, and now, I feel they’d held me back from Scorpion. What would’ve happened if the accident hadn’t occurred and he had asked me out when I turned eighteen? We might be married with several kids. It angered me to think about it. And it was all due to my selfish, unfeeling family, who thought Paxton was golden.
“Why should I tell any of you?” I shot back.
There was silence for a few heartbeats, and then he responded.
“What the hell has gotten into you? That’s no way to speak to your brother,” he snapped.
“I can speak to you any way I please.
You have no problem saying whatever you want to me.”
“Enough, Paige! I’m not calling to hear you act like a child.
We want to know where you are.
You know that we need to know where you are at all times.”
“Why is that, Pax? I’m an adult.
There’s no reason for you, Mom, or Dad to know.
It’s not as if any of you care.
The only time you call, or God forbid, you come to visit, is when you want something out of me or need someone to browbeat. Shouldn’t you be worrying about other things, like your wedding? I heard you’re engaged, and she comes from money.”
“Who told you that?” he asked.
“Just someone who knows.
Does she know the kind of man you really are? How you lie, cheat, hide, and get others to take the blame for the things you do? Or if that doesn’t work, how you coerce them?” I was on a roll.
My worry over my and Scorpion’s future made me not care what I said.
“Shut your damn mouth, Paige! You don’t know what you’re talking about.
I don’t have all day.
We need you in Houston next weekend.
Be here and leave your mouth behind. You will be on your best behavior,” he growled.
“Why would I need to be in Houston?” I asked.
But I had a suspicion I already knew.
“My future in-laws, the Rosens, and my fiancée, Katharine, are eager to meet my sister.
I’ve made all the excuses I can for why they haven’t yet.
The wedding is six weeks away.
They want to meet you. Katharine wanted you as a bridesmaid, but I explained to her that you wouldn’t be comfortable wearing a dress. Besides, the wedding photos will be seen far and wide. They’ll be in the society papers in Houston and other parts of the country. They have to be perfect. All the other bridesmaids are like Katharine. I knew you wouldn’t want to stand out.”
His insincere comments about protecting me made my blood boil.
He’d always made fun of me.
It didn’t matter if it was about what I said, how I thought, my looks, my weight, the fact that I became a nurse, whatever it was.
He found a way to criticize it.
“I have bad news for you, brother.
I won’t be in Houston next weekend, and I assume I was supposed to drop everything to come to the wedding.
That’s in six weeks, and you never bothered to send me an invitation.”
“Enough with the drama.
You can do it.
Tell your work you need off.
As for the wedding, it’s not like you have something better to do. No one expects you to come with a date. Just show, smile, pretend you have manners, and then leave. This is important. Mr. Rosen is backing my political career. I’m running for office after the wedding.” He sounded so smug.
“Then Rosen must be a crook, liar, and a cheat, too.
That’s the only kind to back you unless you haven’t shown your true side yet.
Does he know about all the bad things you’ve done? The people you’ve hurt then wiggled out of any blame? Will those criminals you let get off be contributing to your campaign?” I was letting anything that popped into my head come out.
I recalled everything Scorpion told me Micro had discovered about my brother.
“Who have you been talking to? Where are you?” he snarled.
“Where I always should’ve been.
I won’t be coming to meet anyone, nor will I come to your wedding to pretend we’re a loving family.
Make whatever excuse you want.
I’m through with you, Dad, and Mom. You all can go to hell. Lose my number. I’d stay away if I were you, Pax. There’s no telling what secrets I might tell,” I added acidly before disconnecting the call.
It rang seconds after I did, but I blocked the number.
I was over that so-called family of mine.
Of course, I should’ve known that wasn’t the end of it.
Ten minutes later, I got a call. It was my mom’s number. I didn’t bother answering it. I blocked her, and for good measure, since I knew he’d be next, I did the same to my dad.
I was feeling immensely better about them.
It was time to shed everything and everyone who didn’t contribute to my happiness.
Thinking of my happiness, my mind went to Scorpion.
I ached to see him. I wondered if he’d made any progress with Bev. Or was the fact that he hadn’t come to see me an indication that she was pregnant and it was likely his baby?
I could acknowledge to myself that it hurt to have someone else have his baby.
I’d been secretly loving the idea of us having children since our first time together.
I wanted to give him the kids he appeared to want.
And even though I’d love any child, even if I didn’t birth it, I detested the thought that if things did work out and he and I could be together despite Bev, she’d find ways to make our life miserable until the child was eighteen and probably older.
Not knowing what to do, I kept cleaning.
While I did, I constructed what-if scenarios and searched my heart and mind.
Would I be able to let go of Scorpion? Yes, we’d only been together a few days, but it went back so much further than that.
The thought made me want to scream and throw things, but I resisted, barely.
After I scrubbed everything I could, I changed clothes and took Fenrir for a long walk.
I had to get rid of all the nervous energy inside me.
He loved being outside, so he would be more than happy to go.
Armed with everything I needed, I slipped out the door. If I walked long enough, maybe I’d get tired and be able to relax.
Fenrir trotted along, stopping to smell lampposts, mailbox posts, and sometimes blades of grass.
I let him.
He was content, and it was fine if we were out in nature.
I ran into a few people I’d met on our walks. They greeted us and stopped to chat for a few minutes. I wasn’t rude enough to ignore them, so I pasted on a smile and made small talk.
We’d walked two miles before I turned him around so we could head home.
Fenrir and I were about a half mile from home when we ran into Alvin.
He put a genuine smile on my face.
He was just that kind of person.
“I see you two are out and enjoying this fabulous weather.
Where’s that man of yours?” he asked.
“He’s at the compound, I believe.
Something came up, and he’s dealing with it.
How has your week been?” I said as brightly and unconcernedly as possible.
Alvin’s grin changed to a frown.
“What’s wrong? I know that look.
You’re not happy.
Did that young man do something stupid again? I swear, he’s pushing me to thrash him into shape,” he threatened.
I laughed.
“Not exactly, but it is kinda his fault,” I admitted.
“I knew it.
Why don’t you two come to my place and we’ll talk? Let this old man see if he can help you solve it.”
I was tired of being alone in the house, so I agreed.
We walked back to his home.
As we entered, I wondered if I could talk Alvin into letting me fix his dinner.
I wasn’t ready to face my place, and though I could see Tiago, I stayed home. The prospects were helping him. He’d told me that when I insisted that I needed to be alone. Before Alvin and I got into the details, he agreed to allow me to cook dinner. He grumbled a little, but finally, he said yes.
While I prepared it, we talked about several things, but not what was wrong with Scorpion and me.
It wasn’t until we were done and the dishes were washing in his dishwasher that Alvin insisted I tell him what was bothering me.
Overall, I saw him as a neutral party, so I spilled everything.
It came out in such a rush that it was a miracle he understood me. When I was done, he sat there in silence, thinking over what I said.
I was growing increasingly anxious by the time he broke his silence.
“Both of you have pasts, and those bring baggage sometimes to the present.
You knew Scorpion was no angel before you met him, and there were other women.
It’s unfortunate that if this one is pregnant and it’s his child, you’ll have to deal with it.
However, you said you were thinking of leaving him so he’d be able to be a part of his child’s life. That this Bev is vindictive enough to withhold access to the child if Scorpion doesn’t make her his old lady, and you’re scared that a judge won’t rule in his favor because he’s a biker. Did I get it all straight?”
“Yes, that’s the biggest issue.
I can help raise a child that’s not mine.
And I can love it.
The problem is that he might not get a chance to know his child by being with me.”
Alvin waved his hand dismissively.
“You’re not thinking of the flip side of what the two of you together can do for Scorpion.
If this is his kid, and she tries to prevent him from having contact, and it goes to court, you’ll be a huge asset to him.
The judge might look down on a biker, but what about a biker who has a steady income from a prosperous, legitimate business and who’s married to a nurse? How could they be unworthy to raise a child? What does this Bev do for a living? And wouldn’t the fact that she comes to a biker compound all the time to sleep with multiple men cast doubt on her ability to be a good mom to the child? The way I see it.
The only route that makes sense is for the two of you to proceed as if nothing has changed, remain together, provide a united front, and prepare to fight the battle once the baby is born. Unless you don’t love him.”
“I love him more than anything in the world,” I confessed.
“Good.
My gut says he feels the same.
Now, you should let him know what you’ve decided.
I bet he’s nuts worrying about you. I get that you needed space and time to think, but it’s been almost twenty-four hours. The man needs to hear from you or, better yet, see you. He needs to know that he hasn’t lost you.”
And just like that, my fears and the agony I’d been experiencing over the thought of losing Scorpion disappeared.
Alvin was right.
I refused to be a coward or not to fight for what I wanted.
There would be no more of that. I’d shed my toxic family today. It was time to live the way I wanted. I would take chances. We were sitting in his living room. I rose, moved over to him, and placed a kiss on his cheek. When I eased away after kissing him, his face was slightly pink, but he was smiling.
“You are an amazing person, Alvin.
Thank you.
You’re right.
From now on, when I have an issue, you’d better watch out. I’ll be knocking on your door.”
“You’re always welcome.
Both you and your young man are welcome to stop by anytime—no more procrastinating.
Go see him.
And I expect a report back. I want to know what happens with that woman. Oh, and I want an invitation to the wedding.”
“You can count on all of it.
Thank you, my friend.
Take care, and we’ll chat soon,” I told him.
He grinned as he escorted Fenrir and me to the door.
It wasn’t far to our place from Alvin’s, and though dark, I had my guard dog, so I felt safe.
Back at my house, I changed into a nicer outfit, grabbed my purse and keys, and was out the door.
I didn’t waste time texting or calling Scorpion. I needed to get to him as fast as possible.