Chapter 12
“DANGEROUS” SLEEP TOKEN
I walk out of the humid bathroom with a towel wrapped low around my waist. Squeezing into the small shower stall brought back so many rough memories I spent years drowning.
Being in my old bedroom isn’t great for my mental health.
It feels like I’ve been thrown into a suffocating box and buried six feet below with no hope of getting out.
I don’t have to be here. It’d be easy to get on my motorcycle and speed back home, where a larger bed calls my name. I wouldn’t have to deal with Jerry breathing down my neck and threatening me every chance he gets. The only thing stopping me from leaving is his threat against my friends.
I find a clean T-shirt and pants to change into.
The hamper full of dirty clothes sits at the end of the bed where Madison left it when I kicked her out.
The memory of her wide eyes and the pretty pink shade tinting her cheeks pops into my mind.
My cock twitches, and I mutter a curse. I got rid of my erection while in the shower.
The last thing I need is to chafe myself by rubbing one out again so soon.
But fuck me. Madison looked stunning with fear in her eyes. She cowered before me, clearly intimidated by having my full attention on her. In that short span of time, I imagined all the ways I would have made her scream for me. I wanted to punish her for being in my bedroom.
She said she didn’t go through any of my things, but I find that hard to believe.
Madison always walked around like the world owed her, like she had every right to things that didn’t belong to her.
I caught her wearing my T-shirt when we were in high school.
I never confronted her about it because that meant speaking to her.
So many confusing thoughts and feelings about my little sister. One minute I want to break her, make her cry. The next minute, I want to make her scream while she bounces on my cock. Then, shortly following that thought, I remind myself how I would break her down until she left my room in tears.
I’m fucked up in the head for having these thoughts and feelings about Madison. I hate the girl, and the hatred alone should be enough reason for me to be repulsed by her. But the crush I’ve had hinders my ability to nip the problem in the bud.
“Would you fuck your sister?”
I cringe at Aiden’s question, which seems to echo in my mind at all the wrong times.
I shove my feet into my boots and slip on my jacket. My phone buzzes with an incoming text message. I snatch it from beside the skull mask Madison tried sneaking off with earlier.
I shake my head and read the text message.
Hawk
We’re all meeting at Susana’s at midnight. Also, how did it go with Jerry?
Well, let’s just say I’m now living at his place again for a little while.
The fuck? Why?
I’ll fill you in when we meet up later, but keep your eyes peeled for anyone who shouldn’t be hanging out in the neighborhood.
ooookay. That’s not suspicious at all…
You see a person creeping around, take them to the hideout.
You seriously need to stop with the subliminal shit and just fill me in now.
I’ve gotta go. If I’m late for dinner, Jerry will lose it.
“This smells good, darling,” Jerry says to my mother.
Mom grins at him, delighted by his approval. She waits to dig into her dish, keeping her gaze on Jerry as he shoves a forkful of food into his mouth. At his soft hum, her smile widens and crinkles the corners of her eyes.
I can’t remember the last time she cooked. It’s always been Mary, and I have to admit, her cooking is far superior to my mother’s.
Mary sits beside Madison with a deep scowl as she looks at her plate.
She raises her head and gives my mother the stink eye.
The two never got along, but they played nice when I was a kid.
They pretended to be on each other’s good side, but when they thought I wasn’t around, they bickered like two old hens.
They were from two different worlds. My mother grew up in poverty, and before she married Jerry, she struggled financially. My father wasn’t around to take care of us like he should have been. When my mom was pregnant with me, he left for work one day and never came back.
Mary grew up in a wealthy family and didn’t have to worry about where her next meal would come from. She’s the complete opposite of her brother, however. He’s an abrasive asshole with an ego the size of a planet, while Mary is caring and gives a shit about people.
My mom lost touch with where she came from and became a snobby rich woman who turns a blind eye to her husband beating her child. It’s a valid reason for Mary to dislike her—not that Mary knows what Jerry did to me.
Mom smiles at me as she picks up her fork. “How have you been, son? I’ve missed you.”
“Fine,” I say.
It’s a knee-jerk response. No one wants to hear you boo-hoo about how much you hate living.
People say they support mental health until the minute you show the uglier parts of your mental illness.
They complain about how you’re no fun anymore or how you were more tolerable to be around when you pretended to be happy.
It’s something I’ve witnessed repeatedly, which makes it hard to say anything to anyone.
Hesitation freezes my mother’s smile, and she stabs a cubed potato on her plate. “Just fine?”
I recline in my seat and fold my arms over my chest while keeping a blank face.
Jerry raises his head and glares at me, all while noisily chewing his food. Pretty sure he isn’t tasting a bit of what’s on his plate because of how fast he’s consuming it.
I peek at Madison from the corner of my eye as she sits in silence beside me.
She hasn’t touched her food, and I expected as much, given the dish my mother made.
Madison’s hands rest in her lap with her fingers curled into her skirt until her knuckles turn white.
Her discomfort is palpable, and it would take an idiot not to see it.
My mother clears her throat and shifts in her seat as she pops the seasoned potato into her mouth. “So, how long will you be visiting?”
I glance at Jerry. He doesn’t look up from his meal, but I know his full attention is on me, and he will judge my answer.
“A while,” I say.
“Oh?” Glee brightens her face. “That’s wonderful! I’ve missed seeing you around here. Did your sister grab your dirty laundry for me to wash?”
Madison turns her head, and it’s the first time she’s looked at me since sitting down at the table. It’s only a moment before she drops her gaze to her lap.
Good girl. You don’t want a monster like me.
“I can do my own laundry,” I say.
Mom scoffs with a playful smile. “Oh, honey, please. No need to do it when I’m more than willing to do it for you.”
Madison scoots her chair back and begins to stand.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Jerry says.
Madison freezes. “To my bedroom.”
Jerry sits back and swallows his mouthful of food. “And why would you do that when you haven’t touched your food?”
“I’m not?—”
“Sit down,” Jerry says. “Your fiancé called me and told me about what you said to him earlier. That alone demands a conversation, don’t you think?”
Fiancé?
Madison is engaged?
I stare straight ahead at the wall when all I want to do is look at her. Especially at her left hand, where a ring should be. I don’t remember seeing one, but then again, I was too engrossed in watching her expressions.
My little sister is engaged to another man, and that fucking infuriates me. I can’t have her for so many reasons. But none of that stops the rampant jealousy now colliding in my chest.
Another man touches her, hears her moans, and receives her attention. I clench my fists and glare straight ahead.
Madison sits in her seat with her back straight. “Whatever Justin told you, I’m sure he lied.”
“So the picture he forwarded to me is... fake? You think I’m stupid?” Jerry says.
“This can wait until later, Jerry.” Mary uses her brother’s same blunt tone.
Jerry turns his glare to his sister. “This doesn’t involve you. I’d keep my mouth shut if I were you.”
“You’re involving all of us by talking about this at the dinner table,” Mary says. I admire her spirit and how she doesn’t take Jerry’s bullshit. “You don’t want our opinion on the matter? Don’t fucking talk about it at the table.”
Jerry’s face turns a dark shade of red, and I just know he’s debating if he should lay his hands on Mary. I’d like to see him try. “I’m the man of the house, and what I say?—”
“You’re not the man of the house.” Mary cackles and leans forward to make sure Jerry hears her every word. “You don’t do shit around here. You couldn’t even be bothered to raise your daughter and stepson.”
“Mary,” my mother snaps. “Shut your mouth.”
Jerry’s lips flatten. “What I do with my children and how I parent is my business. Not yours.” He tongues his cheek. “You’re dismissed from dinner. Leave.”
“I’m not leaving.” Mary crosses her arms over her chest.
“We’ll speak about this after I’m done. Leave,” Jerry grinds out.
My mother’s gaze bounces between Jerry and Mary. Worry exaggerates the lines on her face. She’s always hated confrontation, preferring to talk shit about people behind their backs.
Mom shifts her focus to me. “Ryder,” she says with a slight tremble in her voice. “Are you going to eat? I made this meal specifically for you.”
“Eat your dinner, boy,” Jerry says.
My mother’s diversion tactic works. Unfortunately for me, I’m now in the limelight.
I lick my front teeth beneath my lips. “I’d rather eat something else.”
Like my sister’s pussy .
Hurt crosses my mother’s face, and she glances at my untouched food. “Don’t you like lobster tails?”
“Strange,” I say.
Jerry drops his silverware on his plate with a clatter. “Eat.”
“What’s strange?” Mom says. She lays her hand over her chest, already preparing to clutch her pearls for the theatrics.