Chapter 21
“CIRCLES” POST MALONE
R yder’s fingers tighten in my hair, pulling at the roots.
I whimper at the burning sensation in my scalp, but I buck against him.
With his teeth bared in a snarl, Ryder holds me in place by my hair and pistons his hips against mine with punishing blows.
Each thrust bounces me on his lap, our flesh clapping together every time we meet.
“You dirty doll,” he growls. “Acting like you don’t enjoy my attention, but look at you, soaking your big brother’s cock.”
Heat flares in my body, like fireworks bursting in bright colors. He’s not angry or disgusted, and the weight on my chest lightens until I can finally take a full breath.
Ryder lunges for my neck and drags his tongue over the sensitive skin. I gasp as he bites down, his hot breath fanning against my neck and raising goosebumps on my flesh. My head lightens and my body burns hotter as the pain transforms into pleasure with every bite and lick.
I fist his hair and tug at the strands, earning a grunt from Ryder. He suckles a bite mark before he leans back to look at me.
“My pretty doll.”
I shiver at his compliment and try not to linger on his pet name for me.
Ryder releases my hair and circles my throat with his hand, squeezing with enough pressure to limit my air intake. I lean into his touch without an ounce of fear, silently urging him to choke me.
His eyes darken and his pierced lips curl into a tiny, deviant smile.
His grip on my throat tightens until my lungs burn.
The pressure on my neck isn’t terrible, and with him pleasuring me, it’s bordering on orgasmic.
My mind goes blank, and everything fades until it’s just me and him and how good he feels while rubbing my clit with the underside of his dick.
“Come for me, little sister.” Ryder’s hand guides my hip faster, and he groans when the fat head of his cock nudges my opening as I glide backward. The pressure of the slight intrusion jolts me, and he shifts so that his erection slips out and nestles between my folds.
My eyes roll back, and the noise in my head fades to a low buzz. Dots pop into my vision as I get closer to blacking out.
“Fuck,” Ryder hisses through his teeth. “Come for me, baby. Show me how good I make you feel.”
My eyelashes flutter, and I scratch his chest as he reaches behind me and dips his fingers between my ass cheeks, probing my back hole with a finger. He cocks his head, his narrowed gaze trained on my face.
I thrust out my backside, demanding he finish what he started. We said no penetration, but I’m curious how it’ll feel to have someone else play with my asshole.
Ryder graces me with a smile as he breaches the tight ring of muscles. I arch my back as he stretches me, anticipating the burn.
“Relax for me. That’s my girl.” He sinks the digit deeper, until he reaches the last knuckle.
He groans as I ride him faster, pushing my ass further out to take him deeper.
“It won’t be long before I fuck your tight ass and fill you with my cum, sis.
That butt plug will be child’s play after I’m through with you. ”
My lips part on a silent scream as my body convulses with the orgasm.
Stars burst behind my closed eyelids as wave after wave of ecstasy takes me further from Ryder.
He loosens his hold on my throat. Blood rushes back to my head, and I suck in a ragged breath coupled with a cry as the climax intensifies.
Ryder’s whimpers bring me back from the high, his thrusts quickening until warmth coats my pussy and inner thighs. I look between us, watching as cum shoots from his pierced tip. It lands in large globs on his pelvis and spreads down his shaft to where we meet, where it mixes with my arousal.
He drops his hand and pulls his finger out of me before reaching into his nightstand to grab a small packet of sanitary wipes.
After cleaning his hands and tossing the napkin into the trashcan beside his bed, he drags me closer to him.
With a tattooed arm hooked behind my neck, my breasts smash against his flat chest. Ryder eases my head closer until his lips are centimeters from touching mine.
My stomach twists when he doesn’t kiss me.
“You did so good for me,” he murmurs. His mouth skims along my jaw before he catches my earlobe between his teeth. “God, sis, you made me feel so fucking good.”
I shiver as his fingers thread through my messy hair, stroking the tendrils back into place as a lover would. He’s gentler than he was moments ago. His tone is full of adoration, and his soft kisses along my throat speak volumes compared to the anger and hatred when we were lost in the moment.
Realization dawns on me. He didn’t force me into submission by putting me on my knees, and now he’s giving me aftercare.
I didn’t stick around to see if he cuddled the other girl, but I don’t think so.
I imagine he brushed her aside like a piece of trash.
It should make me feel awful, but it doesn’t. I guess jealousy is jealousy.
Ryder kisses the corner of my mouth and along my jaw.
His teeth nip here and there, then soothe the stings with his pierced tongue.
It’s a strange and foreign sensation, but it doesn’t hurt.
The longer he kisses me like this, the more I enjoy it.
A breath shudders out of me, and I rock my hips, rubbing my swollen clit against his hard dick.
I squeeze my eyes shut as he finds a sensitive spot on my neck.
He notices my reaction and focuses entirely on that spot, kissing and sucking until the embers of my hunger for him spark back to life.
The vibration of his groan settles deep in my core. “I wonder how your pussy tastes after being covered in my cum.”
Blood rushes to my cheeks.
He seriously wants to eat me out right now? With his cum still there?
Ryder cups my ass and squeezes. “Sit on my face, doll.”
Reality sets in as quickly as a freight train smashing into a bus full of false happiness and escapism.
I push out of Ryder’s arms and stand on shaking legs.
My heart slams against my ribcage and doubles with each second I’m under his gaze.
I gather my clothes and try to focus on my breathing so I don’t go into a full-blown panic attack while I dress.
If Dad finds out what I did with my brother . . .
Fuck . If Justin finds out?—
“Madison.”
I’ll never hear the end of it. Dad and the others will shun me for being a freak who messes around with her stepbrother. I can only pray Justin will end the engagement if he ever finds out. It’ll be the only good thing that comes out of this.
A hand grabs my wrist and jerks me into a wall of naked muscle and warmth that smells of amber and cypress. “Look at me.”
I snap out of my spiraling thoughts and look up at Ryder with wide eyes. “We shouldn’t have done that.” I jerk my arm out of his hold. “If Dad finds?—”
He shakes his head and closes the space between us, walking me backward until I’m shoved against the wall. “Jerry won’t find out. I meant what I said about this being a secret.”
“You don’t understand.” I reach for him and stop right before I touch him. Ryder’s shoulder and chest muscles bunch up, already prepared for when and if I touch him again. “If Dad gets a hint that something is going on, he’ll dig until he finds out for sure.”
Ryder places his hands on the wall, caging me between his arms. I tense as his tattooed hand settles at the base of my throat. My muscles relax, and I lean into his hold.
He has to know how it affects me when he does this. There’s no way he’s oblivious to how he both drives me mad and grounds me.
“No one will find out,” he says.
I shake my head. “We can’t do this again.”
“You opened the door, doll,” he whispers. His thumb strokes gentle circles over what I’m certain is a hickey. “This is only just the beginning. But for your sake, and the sake of the reputation you’re desperately clinging to, I’ll treat you the same. Just so no one will ever catch on.”
He drops his arms to his sides, then steps back, giving me room to squeeze past him and flee his bedroom. I rush down the stairs and don’t bother turning on any lights as I enter the living room and plop onto the sectional couch.
If I took a time machine to tell my younger self that Ryder would one day want me as badly as I wanted him, my younger self would have laughed and called me a liar. I never thought this would happen. My crush on him was innocent because I believed he wouldn’t reciprocate the feelings.
I turn onto my side and close my eyes, willing sleep to come.
My mind is my worst enemy as it replays the grinding session with my stepbrother.
Warmth pools and settles between my lungs as Ryder’s groans echo in my head.
His sweaty body moving beneath me and how he looked at me like I was his god.
His lifeless, dull eyes were so full of life.
All because of me and what I was doing to him.
He’s finally looking at me and speaking to me after years of pining for him, but all I feel is remorse and shame.
And I don’t know how to move on from him after this.