Chapter 35
“NO PLACE LIKE YOU” THOUSAND BELOW
I lie in the middle of my bed with a heating pad on my lower stomach to ease the cramps.
My period started after having a quickie with Ryder this morning, and since then, I’ve been lethargic and feeling like utter crap.
The pain isn’t so bad after popping some Midol, though I’ve been attachedto the heating pad between recording content for TikTok.
I haven’t been as active on OnlyFans since being with Ryder. I post videos and pictures on there, but I haven’t gone live or done private sessions with fans for the extra money.
I still want to escape this hellhole and looming marriage, but it feels wrong to talk to other men. It’s like I’m cheating on Ryder, which is laughable since I’m literally cheating on my piece-of-shit fiancé with my stepbrother.
My gaze slips to the corner of the phone screen to check the time for the tenth time in the last five minutes as I edit the clip to upload on TikTok.
It’s past midnight. Since we’ve started our secret relationship, Ryder has been consistent about texting, even if it’s just to let me know he’s thinking about me. But he hasn’t said a word since noon, which is raising the alarms in my head.
Something is wrong. Call it a gut feeling.
Despite being on a high since the first night I slept with Ryder, I’ve had this looming sense of dread. Like the other shoe is about to drop and our secret will get out.
My stomach takes that moment to growl, reminding me Ihaven’t eaten anything since this afternoon. I’ve been so busy napping, recording videos, and editing that I haven’t taken a moment to eat anything.
Sighing, I take off the heating pad and roll out of bed. I sneak out of my bedroom and wander into the kitchen, all the while attempting to stay as quiet as possible so I don’t wake my family.
My phone vibrates in my hand as I open the fridge. I turn my attention to the screen, and my eyes widen at the message from an unknown number.
Unknown sender
I know your secrets, DirtyDoll.
Who is this?
I knew you were a slut, but I didn’t want to believe you’d ever dirty yourself by sleeping with your brother.
A new message from the sender pops onto the screen, and my stomach sinks to my feet.
It’s a screenshot from a video I uploaded on my OnlyFans of Ryder and me.
The image is a still shot of me on my knees with Ryder’s tattooed-skeleton fingers tangled in my hair, his cock jammed deep in my stretched-open mouth.
Tears shine in my eyes, and mascara smears my cheeks.
The message bubbles from the sender dance at the bottom of the screen before a new text pops up in the thread.
Unknown sender
I must admit, seeing you choke on a cock is a beautiful sight. But it’s disgusting that it’s your brother.
Who the hell are you?
End things with him, delete the videos and your accounts, and I won’t send this out to everyone you know—especially your family.
I stare at the message, not breathing or moving.
Another message pops up when I don’t respond.
If you want your brother to live, delete everything and end things. You have twenty-four hours,DirtyDoll. Tick Tock.
They send a new message with a ten-second clip. I play the video and stumble back from shock as I watch Ryder punch someone while another biker creeps behind him with a baseball bat. Dahlia screams his name in the clip, and right as he turns his head, the biker swings the bat at my stepbrother.
The front door slams against the wall, and male voices carry through the house to the kitchen. I jolt and duck down, hiding behind the kitchen island so the intruders won’t see me as they walk through the house.
My heartbeat thunders in my ears, and I glance down at the text thread with the unknown sender. Is he now here to do the same thing to me?
“Grab his legs!” a man yells.
I slap my palm over my mouth to quiet my gasp.
“No, his fucking legs , you dumbass,” the same man growls.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
I swallow hard and work on calming down. My gaze slides to the cabinet right by my head, where the pots and pans are. Gingerly, I open the door and ease out a frying pan.
Counting to three in my head, I gather as much courage as I can. I creep out of the kitchen with my makeshift weapon poised like I’m about to swing a bat.
The men’s voices grow louder as I sneak through the dark toward them. Right as I turn the corner, two large, shadowed men come into my view. I screech and swing for their heads.
“Shit!” one yells, then ducks before my weapon hits him.
“Goddamn it, she has a fucking pan!” the other bellows.
As I swing again, my vision takes that moment to adjust to the darkness. I stop mid-swing and gasp.
“Oh my god!” I rush toward them, my gaze zeroing in on Ryder’s slumped body as they hold him like a sack of potatoes.
Aiden and Hawk stare at me in bewilderment. Their chests heave with their efforts as they cling to Ryder so he doesn’t fall.
“Jesus Christ, woman. You almost gave us a heart attack.” Aiden hitches Ryder’s leg higher into his arms, and Hawk does the same with Ryder’s shoulders.
I glare at him. “I almost gave you a heart attack? Imagine me!”
Hawk turns to me. “We need to get him to his room.”
I nod and glance at Ryder passed out in their arms. My chest squeezes when I notice the blood on his face. I spin on my heels and lead the guys through the house and out the back door.
Please be okay. Please be okay.
I hold open Ryder’s bedroom door as they maneuver him through and lay him on his bed. Tears sting my eyes at how caring and gentle they are with him, situating him into a comfortable position and even removing his boots.
“What happened?” I ask. I already know about Ryder taking a baseball bat to the head, but there’s more to it.
How did they get away?
Who did this?
Hawk steps back from the bed and runs his fingers through his hair. “Ran into some problems.”
“Nothing we couldn’t handle,” Aiden says as he turns to me with fire in his eyes. I’m used to seeing him smiling and joking, so witnessing his anger is strange.
I look at Aiden and Hawk—like, really look at them. They have the same cuts and bruises, along with blood smeared on their faces and knuckles.
I turn away from Hawk and Aiden. “Wait here and I’ll patch you guys up.”
Hawk catches my arm. “No need to help us. Focus on Ryder. He’ll be fine. He’s just knocked out for the moment.”
“Yeah,” Aiden says with a little smile. “If you want to play nurse with someone, let it be him.” He jerks his chin toward Ryder.
Hawk drops his hand to his side. “We’ll see you later.”
They leave, shutting the door behind them.
Taking a deep breath, I search through Ryder’s bathroom for a first-aid kit.
All I find are Band-Aids, Neosporin, and gauze.
I fill a random bowl with warm water and toss a clean washcloth in.
Taking all of my findings with me, I return to Ryder’s side and set them on the nightstand.
I don’t know how bad his injuries are, but if his friends aren’t too worried, then I shouldn’t be, either.
I gently strip off his jacket, then his T-shirt. Because he’s dead to the world, it’s hard to maneuver his arms, but I still manage. My heart breaks at the bruises on his chest, along with more blood smeared over his tatted skin.
I don’t want to just beat up the person who did this to him. I want to murder them.
My hands tremble as I unbutton his torn pants, then shimmy them down his legs, revealing his lack of boxers underneath. My attention zeroes in on his legs. There are more bruises, accompanied by what looks like road rash on his thighs and shins.
“Oh, baby,” I whine softly.
This is my fault. All because I’m selfish and wanted to be with him and some nameless person caught me in the act.
I grab the bowl of warm water, then wring out the washcloth and dab his face, cleaning off the smears of blood to reveal the cuts. They aren’t deep gashes. Nothing to go to the emergency room over.
Ryder doesn’t open his eyes as I clean him. His chest moves up and down with steady breaths.
He’s breathing. He’s fine. He’s not going to die.
I swipe away the tears blurring my vision and return to cleaning off the blood on his neck, then his chest and stomach. The whole time, I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from confessing everything to him, even in his unconscious state.
Because after I clean him up and make sure he’ll be okay, I have to leave. I have to end things with him. I don’t want him to die. Especially not because of me.
My hands tremble as I rinse the rag in the bowl of water that now has a pink hue to it. I wring it out, then continue cleaning him.
My gaze flicks to Ryder’s face, checking if he’s woken up in the time I’ve been tending to him.
His dark eyelashes dust the tops of his cheeks.
His full, pierced lips tempt me to kiss him.
He’s so beautiful, even while asleep. The tension in his features slackens, and he appears younger and less stressed.
I lose the inner battle to keep quiet. “I’m so sorry, Ryder,” I whisper. “This is all my fault. I promise I’ll make it right.”
I duck my head and apply ointment to Ryder’s cuts and road rashes. I look over his naked body one last time, intending on leaving afterward. Everyone is asleep and won’t catch me as I pack my bags. I may not have a bunch of money saved, but there’s enough for me to survive off of as I travel.
A smear of pink on Ryder’s ball sack catches my attention.
I lean closer and check the area, making sure I didn’t miss any cuts.
My eyebrows pinch together. Maybe droplets of water slid down his body while I cleaned him and I didn’t notice.
I grab the washcloth again and reach out, then stop mid-way when an idea pops into my head.
It’s not right.
My gaze flicks back to Ryder’s face, ensuring he’s still asleep before I do something heinous.
He’s passed out.
I won’t see him after this. I’ll have to cut all ties with my old life and pray Dad and Justin won’t find me, because I know they’ll hunt me down and drag me back into this life.
The unknown sender is watching me as well, and if I’m around Ryder after being dragged back home, I’ll be tempted to start our relationship again.
This person will keep their promise, and I can’t have that. I love Ryder too much.
It’s blood; it’s unsanitary.
But I want to touch him one last time, even if he’s passed out.
Shaking away the nervous thoughts, I ease the bowl of water and cloth back onto the nightstand before I settle between his legs again.
Warning bells go off in my head, and I can practically see the guy from the TikTok videos waving a large red flag as he remarks on how I’m making him more nervous than a salmon in a bear hug.
I lean in and circle the base of Ryder’s flaccid cock with my fingers, holding the appendage while I swipe my tongue up his balls to clean off the blood.
A small moan escapes me at the coppery flavor. I thought I’d hate the taste, but it’s not horrible. Musk and the salt of his skin burst on my tastebuds. I suck his left ball into my mouth and tongue the leathery skin, too lost in the moment to care that I’m doing this while Ryder is passed out.
His cock twitches and hardens in my palm.
Ryder will hate me if he ever finds out about this. Maybe it’ll help him move on from me.
My fingers tighten around his shaft, and I pump my fist up and down in slow strokes.
I suck his right testicle into my mouth, showing it the same attention.
Ryder’s low groan spurs me on. His ball sack pops out of my mouth as I lean back and stare at his cock, a bead of pre-cum leaking from the pierced hole.
My mouth waters as I watch the droplet grow in size as I continue working his shaft. With a soft groan, I lean down and lick the underside of his shaft, all the way to the tip, where I take him past my lips.
Ryder shallowly thrusts his hips, forcing more of his dick into my salivating mouth. I gag as he hits the back of my throat, but I don’t move away. My clit pulses like a heartbeat, demanding attention and relief. I stick my hand down my shorts and rub the sensitive nub in quick circles.
Ryder shifts, and I flinch as his hand winds through my hair. He holds me in place, his thrusts increasing in roughness and bordering on desperation.
I raise my watery gaze to his face and find his eyes still closed. His dark eyebrows pinch together, and his pierced lips part as he fucks my face.
Heat flushes my cheeks as my orgasm builds. My eyes roll into the back of my head as I get close, but I hold back. I want Ryder to come first.
I lick the underside of his shaft while I bob my head.
Ryder’s fingers tighten in my hair, his hips slowing when I take control.
I take more of him until he hits the back of my throat again.
An undignified choking noise slips out of me, and strings of saliva pool around his shaft and pelvis.
My jaw burns from keeping my mouth open so wide for so long.
Needing a moment to work out the tension in my jaw, I pull back and suck the tip for a second. Ryder shoves the back of my head, sinking his cock into my throat. His groan rumbles deep in his chest and moves straight to my clit.
I grab his thigh with one hand and hold myself steady as he fucks my face with the same desperation I feel. His cock thickens, and ropes of cum jet into my throat. I swallow each load, not wanting to drown.
My hips buck against my hand, and I let out a muffled moan as my orgasm slams into me. Tingles spread through me, and I ride out the high while Ryder continues to fill my mouth with his spunk.
He releases my hair and drops his hands at his sides. I raise my head and suck in a ragged breath as his twitching dick slips out of my mouth. I pant and lick my swollen lips to clean the stray beads of cum I didn’t catch.
I pull my hand out of my shorts and stumble to the bathroom to wash up. When I return to the bedroom, Ryder is still passed out on the bed, sweat coating his tanned skin. I glance at the door and nibble on my swollen bottom lip, then look at Ryder again.
Tears sting my eyes.
I can’t leave him yet. Just a few more minutes with him.
I turn off the lights and crawl into bed with him, then cover us with the comforter. The heady scent of amber and cypress fills my lungs, relaxing my muscles and quieting my racing thoughts.
Five minutes, then I’ll leave. Just five more minutes with him so I can enjoy his presence and memorize every detail about him.
I curl into his side and kiss his shoulder. “I love you so much, big brother. I’m so sorry for being a coward and having to run, but I hope one day you’ll understand why. It’s to protect you.”