Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Julian
“Leena.”
Her hypnotic eyes threaten to pull me under their spell. There is also a gnawing hunger urging me to taste her parted pink lips.
Unfortunately, I can’t lose myself in her the way I’m dying to. She’s supposed to be giving me a tour right now. Damn it, I’m about to scrub in for surgery and I can’t be distracted. The paperwork may be official, but I can’t start off making an avoidable mistake because my mind is on this woman.
But, fuck, she’s here, right in front of me.
I’ve been fighting a cresting wave of despair threatening to take me under when I thought I’d missed my chance with her yesterday.
The spark of hope I felt last night that I might see her again has now ignited into a full-on fire, roaring in my ears as my mom’s words come back to me.
If it’s meant to be, you’ll see her again.
My musings are abruptly interrupted when her shoulders sag and she slowly shakes her head, dropping her gaze.
I dip my head, hoping to catch her eyes and break through her thoughts. “Aleena,” I unconsciously whisper her full name. It falls from my lips like a reverent prayer.
Her full lips part with a gasp as she looks up at me. “W—what?” she stutters.
“Hi,” I say quietly. Using my dimple to my advantage, I shoot her my most charming grin.
The color that had been fading from her cheeks blooms bright again. Furrowing her brow, her eyes bounce between mine. “Uhh . . . hi?”
I palm the back of her arm, caressing my hand down her delicate forearm, threading our fingers together. “Talk to me, Julian, not the surgeon you just met.”
Swallowing, she looks down, and I follow her gaze to our linked hands.
I enjoy feeling her soft skin and seeing her smaller hand in mine.
It feels good. Right, even. Like her hand belongs in mine, like we should always be holding hands.
I gently squeeze her fingers to bring her attention back to my face.
“But you are the new surgeon, and I’m supposed to be giving you a tour right now. The one I will be working with. You can’t be anything else.”
Hearing her voice crack almost undoes me. Her words create a tightening in my chest. “No, stop.”
She interrupts me. “No, you can’t be anything more—this cannot be more.”
My heart sinks at her crushing declaration that we can’t be more than coworkers. I don’t understand why and voice my sudden question, “Is it against hospital policy? The standard is filling out paperwork declaring our relationship status. Besides, I won't be your superior in any way.”
With a shake of her head, the hoop in her nose catches the light from above, she says, “I don’t know if it’s against policy. At least it’s not enforced.” She mumbles the last part, and before I can question her, she continues. “But I don’t—won’t get involved with someone I work with.”
“Why?” I ask, confused.
She pulls her hand from mine and takes her phone from her back pocket, reading a message on the screen. With a roll of her eyes, she returns her gaze to mine and responds to my question. “It’s messy. I’ve seen it get messy, and I don’t want to deal with that.”
“We’re both adults. I think we can agree to act accordingly, no matter where this goes.”
We haven’t even had the chance to get started, and she’s trying to end us.
It’s impossible to imagine this not leading somewhere.
The magnetism I feel pulling me to her isn’t something I have ever experienced.
However, I did grow up with parents so in love with each other they were always telling my siblings and I that when you know, you know.
Don’t ignore it, but hold on to it. I’m sure as hell going to try.
However, I see her closing herself off from me. I felt it immediately when she dropped a shield between us, wrapping herself in professionalism as Alisha “introduced” us. I need to shut down whatever is happening in her mind right now.
Pinning me with her gaze before she looks back at her phone, sighing, her delicate fingers tap out a message. “We need to get going. Connor will be expecting you in his room soon.”
Before I can speak, she slips around me and starts back down the hall. Tamping down an irrational spark of jealousy when she says Connor’s name again, I follow her.
My longer stride, and her hindered gait, quickly brings me to her side. Looking down at her profile, my hand hovers at the small of her back, but I clench my fist and stuff it in my pocket. She’s closed off right now, but I’m not giving up.
Instead, I decide to switch to another topic I’m equally interested in. “How’s your ankle?”
Tilting her head, she side-eyes me like the sudden topic change has thrown her for a loop. “Oh, um, it’s fine.”
“Really?” I ask skeptically. “I can tell you’re trying to keep weight off it when you walk.”
Her lips part in small “O” and the apple of her cheeks flush a beautiful shade of pink I’m coming to realize just may be my favorite.
“Nope, it’s totally fine. All good.”
“Must’ve been getting it checked out by a leading orthopedic specialist so quickly, huh?” I tease.
She snorts. “If you were such a premier doctor, I wouldn’t be limping so badly, would I?”
“Ahh, so you admit you’re not ‘all good’?” I ask with a growing smile.
Her lips twitch, and with an adorable huff, she bumps against me. She’s so tiny her shoulder bumps my elbow. “Let’s go.”
Before I can respond, a door down the hallway bursts open loudly, followed by a booming, “Leena!”
My head shoots up, and I see the Chief of Surgery coming around a corner from another set of double doors I hadn’t noticed as Leena hurried us down this substerile hallway earlier to talk somewhere in private.
“Oh, Ian,” Diego booms when he sees me. “Good to see you, man. Leena giving you the grand tour?”
“Yep, she sure is.”
“She’s one of our best,” he says, flashing a smile at her that has my hands curling into fists.
“The very best, I’m sure.” Working to keep my tone neutral, he doesn’t seem to hear the slight edge that colors my words. But Leena shoots me a speculative look, brow arching.
“Good, good. I was looking for Leena because I need to put a case on for tomorrow.”
Once again, she is the epitome of professionalism, minus the blush still coloring her cheeks.
“A first start?” At his nod, she continues. “Okay, after I finish here and leave Dr. Jacobs with Dr. Walsh, I’ll look at staffing and check with anesthesia, then get back to you.”
“Already spoke to Benny, and he said no problem for an extra start. And Tasha said she is available.”
She taps at her phone for a moment. “Tasha is scheduled off on Wednesdays for school, though."
“She already talked to her professor. Said she’ll come in to scrub, no problem. All we need is a nurse.”
“Wow, looks like you’ve done most of my job for me.
” Silent for a moment, she begins bouncing her phone against her thigh.
“But I’ll still need to check staffing, who’s on call tonight, what today’s schedule currently looks like, and make sure we can handle the extra room and accommodate breaks tomorrow in case we have staff off post-call. ”
Her obvious competence is a huge turn on.
“Okay, thanks! I know you can make it happen,” Diego replies with a wink.
Grinding my molars as he glances at his watch, he misses the subtle tightening in Leena’s brows at the comment, whereas I’m so locked in on her, I spot it immediately.
Is there a history between them? Is this why she won’t even entertain a relationship with someone she works with? Has she been through a “messy” situation herself? My runaway thoughts make my jaw ache as I clench down even harder.
Fuck. Leena has me tied up in knots because, yes, I’m serious about whatever this connection is between us.
“Alright, I'll let you two get back to the tour. Ian, I’ll see you tonight for dinner.”
We watch him walk away, and when he’s out of sight, I turn to Leena. With a tilt of her head in the direction Diego came from, she moves away from me.
Her rigid posture, tight expression, and stilted but formal speech makes my gut clench with anxiety.
I hate it. I long to see her eyes soften when she looks at me with a blush on her cheeks.
I know this isn’t the time or place to try to continue our unfinished conversation, especially after observing that interaction with the Chief of Surgery.
There seems to be more going on here, and while I want to get to the bottom of it, I won’t push her.
I’m getting the feeling I will need to chip away at the walls she has built up.
But I am no stranger to hard work and putting in the time. I’m certain she’s worth it.
After our tour of the unit, along with pre-op and the recovery room, Leena also takes me to the physicians’ lounge to see the newly installed dictation pods. We circle back to the room Connor is operating in.
I can’t help staring at her as she looks through the window while confidently tying her mask on. I admire her nimble fingers manipulating the ties, imagining them wrapped around my dick.
Clearing my throat and mind of that particular image, she glances at me with a questioning quirk of her brows while she pushes the door open and enters the room. I put my own mask on and follow behind, nodding at Connor’s greeting.
“Great timing,” he says as a scrub tech hands him the sterile blue material to start draping the patient. “We’re doing an IM Nail.” Pointing at the scrub tech, he goes on, “This is Charlie, ortho’s lead surgical tech. Scrub in while we drape.”
Leena indicates another set of doors. “Scrub sink is to the right. There is also lead hanging in the alcove.”
“Wait!” Charlie shouts before I can leave the room. She eyes me up and down before turning to Leena. “I’m gonna need an extra long gown, plus his gloves. Can you open those for me?”
Making my way over to Leena at an open cabinet, she indicates an array of surgical glove styles and sizes.
Spying my preferred combo, I say it out loud and automatically reach for them at the same time she does.
Our hands brush and the unexpected touch makes my fingers tingle.
Rearing her hand back, she rubs it over her collar bone, bringing my attention to the rapid rise and fall of her chest.
I try to catch her eye, but she refuses to look at me. She’s once again professional and aloof as she pulls out the gloves and turns back to the table to open the requested items.
Holding in a sigh of frustration, I head out into the alcove to choose a lead x-ray gown and perform my hand scrub.
Leena may have said nothing can happen between us, but I think she’s underestimating the spark we have. One I’m unwilling to ignore now that I know where to find her.