Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Leena
Taking a sip from my travel mug, I wrinkle my nose.
Definitely not a fan of making my own coffee. Zero out of ten, do not recommend.
I’d so easily gotten used to a fine-as-hell, gorgeous surgeon spoiling me. Now my boring drip coffee with regular creamer just isn’t cutting it.
Sullenly, I clock in and grab a set of scrubs.
When he showed up with coffee that first morning—my go-to coffee order—I couldn’t bring myself to deny it.
Or him. So, I soaked up his attention each morning, just the two of us in the quiet of the almost empty OR before it’s bustling with activity.
I enjoyed being the sole focus of his appreciative stare.
It may have only been a week of seeing Julian each morning but, based on the ache in my chest, I'm already missing him. The deep timber of his voice, the warmth of his body as he stood close. Even how I had to look up at his much taller frame or how he’d do that hover-crouch maneuver to bring himself down closer to my level.
Ugh! I miss it all, even if it was just yesterday when I saw him last.
Shaking myself, I check my watch to find I’ve been sitting here thinking about Julian for far too long. Not only do I feel like the day is starting off on the wrong foot because I won’t see him, I’m now going to be rushing to do my usual morning tasks.
Quickly changing and dropping my bag off in my office, I rush out to the front desk. Immediately, I spy a familiar coffee cup sitting by the mouse.
Rushing forward to read the writing on the cup, my insides turn warm and melty at the distinct scrawl I recognize as Julian’s.
Gotta keep shooting my shot…
Slapping a hand over my mouth, I grin. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Today is his first day off from the hospital and clinic, and he went out of his way to still bring me a cup of coffee.
Pulling out my phone, I snap a picture, then open our text exchange from last night. My cheeks hurt from smiling so big when I see his last message.
Doctor : Gotta keep shooting my shot
Me: [picture of coffee cup with Julian’s scribbled note centered in the frame]
Me: And I gotta keep you on your toes!
My head has been in the clouds since the first day that cup of coffee was waiting at my desk, and each day since, I’ve been unable to erase the smile that now feels permanent.
But it’s not just the coffee. Our text exchanges have changed.
After the picture and my teasing response, he used the opportunity to smoothly sneak past my defenses.
I didn’t put up a fight. We’ve moved beyond surface-level single messages that didn’t necessarily require responses to him slowly breaking down my walls.
I find myself readily being flirty or cheeky in my replies now.
We’ve shared a little bit about our families, friends, and interests.
We have not talked about our past romantic relationships, though.
Because, one, I don’t want to think about him with anyone else—I already think of him as mine and mine alone.
Two, my embarrassing lack of relationships and why is not something I’m too keen on sharing.
And, three, it also feels like I’d be admitting there is an us, which I’m not sure I’m ready for.
Though I do want him, I don’t want to risk my job.
And now that I’m being honest with myself, I’m still coming to terms with how we could make whatever this is, or could be, work while maintaining our privacy.
Outside of Charlie—and to an extent, Connor and Sarina, since Charlie is slowly drawing her into our circle since she recently moved to the area a few months ago—I have maintained strict personal boundaries since I started working at the hospital.
I have polite and familiar acquaintances.
I even participate in the teasing and bantering with my coworkers.
But I have chosen to keep my private life just that—separate and private.
For me, there is also what happens when things don’t work out.
There is the possibility of Julian starting a new relationship or situationship with someone we both work with, and that is something I would find unbearable to see or hear about.
Because as much as I have tried to snuff out these feelings I have for Julian, they only burn brighter and hotter.
So, for now, I continue to walk the line.
Julian, to his credit, has remained patient and devoted.
Never pressuring me for more than I can give at this moment.
When I clam up or shut him down, he makes a joke and moves on to another topic.
I'm not sure how much longer I can continue to resist him.
Him continuing to show up topples more bricks from my already-crumbling walls.
“Ian looked so hot this morning, dripping in sweat and out of breath. God, I just want to fuck him already.”
I’m searching for a loaner instrument that needs to be returned to a vendor when Devin’s voice carries to me over the instruments shelf ,and I freeze. My head swivels from side to side, checking to see if anyone else is near enough to hear this.
A loud gasp proceeds another voice that makes my skin crawl. “Where did you see him? I thought you told me he’s been standoffish,” Tasha says.
“I stopped at the gift shop for a pack of gum on my way in this morning and I saw him coming out of the staff gym as I was passing by.”
From our texts, I knew Julian has been working out after dropping off my coffee, but I haven’t seen him since the morning Benny almost caught us huddled together at the desk.
I’m overtaken with the sudden urge to gouge Devin’s eyes out with the small, sharpened rake retractor I coincidentally happen to be holding in my hand.
I hate that she’s seen him like that and I haven’t.
“You don’t think I can win him over? The way you did with Merritt?” Devin says in a snippy tone.
I gently set the instrument down, sickened by this conversation. Before Tasha can reply, I step around to the end of their aisle and clear my throat. “Ladies, need I remind you this is an extremely inappropriate conversation to be having while at work?”
This is something I have no desire to listen to, but if I had let this conversation continue, I might have used that retractor. While Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl showed me I can pull off the color orange, I don’t want to go to jail for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
Two pairs of wide eyes stare back at me, both of them leaning against the shelves across from each other.
“I believe the others assigned to the core today have started pulling cases for Monday. You should probably be helping instead of back here,” I continue, arms crossed and hip cocked to the side.
“If you feel there are enough people working and your help isn’t needed, I would be more than happy to send the both of you home.
Flex your hours to help with our productivity numbers. ”
Quickly straightening up, they both scurry past me.
I watch them until they pull a case sheet for next week from the printer tray to pick supplies. Only then do I release the breath I was holding, my chest heaving, and return to my office for a moment to collect myself.
Monday morning, I’m doing my weekly grocery shopping when I round a fruit display and my body jerks to a sudden halt. Because there is Julian, turning his head and looking right at me.
The smile that spreads across my face as my eyes hungrily devour him cannot be contained.
With ankles crossed, one hand resting on a shopping cart handle, his other holds a coffee cup up to his mouth.
He looks like the epitome of calm, relaxed, and confident.
Except for his piercing gaze that’s sweeping along my body.
My pussy clenches at the heat and longing in his eyes, no doubt reflecting my own.
Clean up in the produce section! the blaring overhead speaker announces in my mind.
“What a surprise seeing you here, Doctor,” I say. My feet carry me a little closer, leaving behind the—thankfully!—imaginary puddle.
If I didn’t already know, it’s blindingly clear now. My craving for this man has not diminished, only grown. Exponentially.
He clears his throat before speaking. “The best surprise.” I bite my lip to keep from moaning out loud at his husky response, flushing with pleasure.
“God, I’ve missed that pretty blush.”
For the first time, I love that I am unable to hide my feelings with this physical manifestation I’ve loathed all my life.
Like a moth to a flame, I cross the remaining space separating us.
Coming to a halt in front of him, my gaze bounces back and forth between his eyes.
Lifting his free hand, he drags his knuckles over the apple of my cheek and down to sweep my hair over my shoulder, caressing my neck along the way.
I want to beg him to do more with those wicked fingers.
When he pulls his hand back, his clenched fist makes me wonder if he shares the same naughty wish.
Instead, I grab the cup out of his hand and take a sip.
The coffee isn’t scalding, but still my lips burn from his unwavering focus as I swipe my tongue across the corner of my mouth.
“Cinnamon?” I ask, handing him back his cup. I move around him, along the aisle lining the produce section, looking at him over my shoulder with a smirk.
I preen with smug womanly satisfaction when he blinks like he can’t quite believe I did that. Turning away, I reach for a jar of raspberry jam.
In seconds, he’s pressed against my back, caging me between his arms and the shelf. With his size, he shouldn’t have been able to move so silently.
“Pretty girl,” he growls, his lips and beard tickling my temple, “you are playing with fire.”
With the slightest bit of pressure, I press back against him, reveling at the hard ridge of his cock wedged against me, and look up at him over my shoulder. “Maybe the burn will be worth it.”
“Fuuuuck, Aleena.” The hairs along my forehead flutter with his deep exhale.
I watched as his hands grip the shelf at eye-level, knuckles bleached with the force of his hold.
“I can be patient. I want to be patient with you. But I’m only a man, pretty girl.
So please, be sure this is what you really want. ”
There is the gentlest pressure on the side of my head, followed by another press of his lips on the sensitive skin below my ear.
My eyelids flutter shut, then snap open when he turns me around.
Large hands hold my hips in a firm grip that I surprisingly enjoy.
Then he whispers, “Because, baby . . . I am.”