Chapter Twenty-Six
Leena
I kissed him!
I kissed him. I cannot believe I kissed him.
Anyone from pre-op or registration could have happened upon us.
It felt so natural that I didn’t even think about it, I was pressing my lips to his chin and pulling back before I even realized what I had done.
Yeah, it was only a little peck on his chin, but still.
There was also the way he grabbed my bag then whispered in my ear—I’m swooning for two different reasons. He’s seriously messing with my head. Among other things, if my damp panties are anything to go by. It’s way too early in the day to be turned on.
With my cup of coffee—yep, still swooning—I get to the front desk.
I find a Post-It note from last night's call crew informing me they will not be coming in due to a case that ended after 2 a.m. I glance at yesterday’s add-on cases and see it was Julian who was working all evening and late into the night.
This freaking guy!
Instead of trying to get as much sleep as possible this morning, he went out and got me my favorite coffee.
And now that I think about it, he wasn’t carrying another cup.
Either he downed his own, needing the hit of caffeine, or he only went for me.
Seriously? How am I supposed to resist him?
Especially when I never wanted to in the first place.
I’m starting to see I’ve been in denial—this has been a losing battle from the beginning. I could have probably saved myself some agony had I not freaked out and just gone with the flow from the beginning.
But has the chase been part of the draw for Julian?
If I give in now, what will happen next?
Trying to stem the downward spiral, I dive into work. Another busy day ahead, and we are two people short.
“Another glorious morning. It makes me sick!” I repeat one of the best cinematic lines ever and giggle a little manically to myself. It’s the small things I have to find joy in sometimes, or I might lose my mind.
Even with my epiphany, I find myself still unable to make a definitive move. I can’t completely resist the pull Julian has over me or come to terms with how much I want to throw caution to the wind, so I continue to hold back.
These feelings swirling around inside are intense and chaotic.
Can I trust it’s possible to fall so hard and fast, and have it actually be lasting?
It’s hard to let go of the fear that what Julian and I share is just an unstated physical desire, an explosive chemical reaction.
I worry the feelings could fizzle out, our fire cooling as quickly as it burned.
What if my feelings are deeper and stronger while he realizes it was only the chase?
Of course, there is also the lingering panic that runs deep at the thought of people finding out about us. Whispering. Judging. For many of these people, I am a leader, and I want to be respected and acknowledged for the job I do.
I really do not want their scrutiny, them mocking or belittling me.
Talking about my relationship, or what I might have done to get Julian’s attention.
I know it shouldn’t matter what anyone thinks of me and my personal life.
But when you mix business and pleasure, it opens the door to others’ opinions.
Attempting the “out of sight, out mind” approach to Julian proves futile.
I allow myself to be immersed in our few stolen moments each morning and random text exchanges throughout the day.
Revel in every heated touch and fiery look.
Then I try—and fail—to keep my mind from straying to thoughts of him.
A glimpse of him in the corridors or the way I’m unable to keep my eyes from zeroing in on the cameras in his room when I go to the front desk.
Even in moments of quiet at home, Charlie has taken to humming the “Sitting In A Tree (K-I-S-S-I-N-G)” nursery rhyme.
Let’s just say I have spent lots of time on my exercise bike. Choosing the hardest and most difficult rides, hoping exhaustion will purge my brain of thoughts of Julian.
So by next Friday evening, I am both mentally and physically exhausted.
Normally, I work a twelve-hour shift, checking in with the evening charge nurse, Erin, before leaving.
But it’s been a crazy afternoon with two different Trauma STATs, her working a room, me being a runner for the trauma cases and making sure the staff got lunch breaks.
Julian had a case in his individual block this afternoon, but it was too busy to do more than make discreet eye contact while I gave his nurse her break.
It’s days like this that have me cursing my Mondays off when I’ve been at work for sixteen hours. With steps that feel like my feet are dragging through mud, I take a quick shower to wash the grime of the day away. When I’m dressed, I let my hair down with a whole-body sigh and clock out.
Stepping outside, it never ceases to amaze me there are days I arrive before the sun has risen and leave after it’s set. Hefting my bag higher on my shoulder, I start trudging towards my car.
“You should really pay attention to your surroundings, pretty girl.”
My stomach cramps with a brief flash of terror, and my lungs seize. When I spot Julian relaxing against my vehicle under a halo of light from the lamppost I park under, my breath rushes out in relief.
Goosebumps break out and a shiver rolls along my spine for a different reason. “And you really shouldn’t be hulking around a woman’s car in the dark, Doctor.”
He gives me a husky chuckle in return.
“How long have you been waiting for me?” He slides his body along the driver’s side, letting me pull my door open. With a groan, I heave my bag onto the passenger seat. A little more suspiciously, I turn to stare at him and ask, “Why are you waiting by my car anyways?”
He shrugs. “I wanted to see you.”
Tilting my head back, I admire how handsome he is. His hair is messier than I’ve seen, and I long to comb my fingers through the disheveled waves. With his face cast half in shadow, I can’t fully appreciate his fathomless eyes.
“How did you know I wouldn’t be in there long?”
“I knew Erin had the charge phone, and I hoped you wouldn’t be long, so I decided to wait.”
“What if I’d been in there for an hour?”
A smile touches his lips. He steps closer to me, closing the distance. Tucking my hair behind my ear and running his knuckles down my neck, Julian leans down, bringing his gaze level with mine. “It would’ve been worth it.”
Gently rubbing his thumb along my jaw, I press my neck into the palm of his hand, wanting to prolong the contact.
“Anyone could see us here.”
“Maybe.” His other hand finds my hip, pulling me closer. “Tell me to stop.”
A slight shake of my head is all it takes for his restraint to crumble.
Tugging me closer, Julian tips my chin up and crashes his lips to mine.
I throw my arms over his shoulders. His tongue runs along my lower lip before softly sucking it into his mouth.
My hands grasp his thick and silky hair, causing a hungry moan to come from deep in his chest. I can feel it reverberate against mine with how tightly we cling to each other.
Tongues gliding and tangling, I can’t get close enough.
Pushing higher on my toes, I tilt my pelvis into him, arching my back to get closer still.
With nibbling and sucking bites at each other’s lips, our heavy breaths sound like a roar in my ears.
Julian’s large hand roves over my hip and back to my ass.
I pull at his kiss-swollen bottom lip with my teeth and stare into his eyes. This close, I can make out the distinct pattern of his irises, but it’s too dark to distinguish the colors that make his unique eye color.
When he boosts me up, I release his lip with a gasp. My legs instinctively wrap around his hips, and I grind my core against the rigid length of his arousal.
“Fuck, Aleena. You make me so hard. I want to feel your hot little cunt squeezing my dick the way it did my fingers,” he growls with a thrust of his hips, and I throw my head back. His large hand threads through my hair, cradling and protecting it from banging against the back window.
I was so consumed by him and the moment and his mouth on mine that I didn’t even realize my back was braced against the side of my vehicle.
“Julian,” I whine as his teeth scrape at my throat.
Shamelessly, we grind together. He applies the most delicious pressure on my clit with the seam of his pants and straining cock.
Lost in the feel of his hands running up my ribs, his thumb brushes back and forth on the underside of my breast.
“I’ll never get enough of you.” His rough whisper is almost drowned out by the sound of approaching sirens.
Like icy water being poured over my head, I abruptly pull back, pushing on his shoulders.
He carefully sets me on my feet, his hands bracing my hips as I wobble.
With my pounding heart ringing in my ears, I look around frantically.
There are flashing lights coming from the Emergency Department ambulance bay located on the other corner of the building from where the staff lot is located.
How could I be so reckless? Forget we were out in the open, in the hospital parking lot?
Rubbing the tips of my fingers over my tender lips, I look up at this devastating man. But my panic runs too deep. “I’m—I’m sorry, Julian. I—I have to go. This was a mistake.”