Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Leena
The bed dipping behind me wakes me from a fitful snooze.
Julian slips one arm under my head, the other around my middle as he tucks himself tightly around me.
Smiling into the pillow I’m hugging, I savor the moment as he softly kisses my neck.
I’ve gotten so used to sleeping next to him most nights that when he crawls into bed with me long after I’ve laid down, I melt into him.
Without realizing it, Julian has knit himself into my life with ease.
We soak up each clandestine moment we can find at work, stealthily stealing embraces or covert kisses.
He comes over on nights he is able to leave the hospital at a reasonable time.
When he’s not at work, I miss him. When he works late and doesn’t slip into my bed, I find sleep elusive.
I love that he chooses to come home to me.
His exhausted face splits into a dazzling smile when our eyes meet.
I love the way his arms envelop me, holding me close for long, silent moments as if I help restore his equilibrium.
He continues to bring me coffee each morning that he’s not able to spend the previous night with me.
When he’s off, he insists on driving me to and from work on my long Fridays, already waiting in the parking lot when I get off, usually with some sort of take-out we devour in the quiet of one of our kitchens.
I enjoy sharing tranquil moments over coffee cuddled in bed, or in the hush of the dim evening light chatting about our days with our heads huddled together on the pillow.
How this man has completely infiltrated my life in such a short span of time is completely astounding.
It’s in those moments that I find I’ve given myself over to Julian completely, handing him piece by piece until he owns all of me.
As I suspect, is exactly what he wanted.
And that scares me, but it’s also thrilling because I feel alive and safe in a way I never could have imagined.
Calling it falling in love is so accurate. I feel as if I am free-falling, but Julian is my harness, keeping me secure and protected.
Opening my eyes, I see it’s dark in my room. Julian must have turned off the TV before crawling into bed with me. I had been trying to wait up for him, but the last thing I remember is fighting heavy eyelids while reading my Kindle as some reality show rerun played on the TV for background noise.
Scooting and wiggling my ass back into his lap, I press my face into the pillow and giggle when he starts to get hard and groans.
“I was sure you were asleep.” He grips my hip and grinds against me.
Laughing, I reach out to tap my bedside touch lamp.
The room is lit with a soft glow that barely lights up the entire space, but I missed him tonight and want to see his handsome face.
Right away, I spot my e-reader plugged in.
Julian either found it after falling to the floor or plucked it from the bed, but either way, my heart melts.
It's just one of the many little things he does for me, all without seeking praise.
“Did you have a good time?” I ask while snuggling back into his embrace.
“It was nice catching up. Jace’s been pretty busy with work in Saltmeadow, lots of showings.” Nibbling on my neck and earlobe, he hums. “He was telling me how he ran into my parents this morning. They told him they would love to come and see his place since I’m staying with him.”
Snickering, I ask, “Would they call it ‘staying with him’ if they knew how often you were here instead of there?”
“I think they know. He must have made some sorta comment because my mom called me and asked if they could come up this weekend.”
“Sounds like they’re excited you’re close enough to do that now. They probably figure you’ve had enough time settling in at work.” Turning over, I start combing my fingers through his hair. It's so silky, and I love the way his face relaxes when I do it.
“Ha, no. She would come right out and say that. I know with the way she was hedging around it, she was really hinting about meeting you. Since they haven’t heard me ever talk about someone before you, they must not know how to act.”
Julian has mentioned he’s told his family about me, but I haven’t pressed him for the details he’s shared.
“Hmm.” I don't know what else to say because I’m not sure where he’s going with this conversation. I lay my head on his chest, not wanting to make too much of his parents being curious about me in case he’s just giving me a heads up that we won’t see each other when they come.
“So, would you be okay having dinner with them this weekend?” His question brings my fingers tickling through his smattering of chest hair to a stop.
“Oh, um, you don’t have to do that if you're not ready. Just because your mom’s insinuating she wants to meet doesn’t mean you have to introduce me.”
Resting his hand on mine over his heart, Julian tells me, “I was the one who suggested it. Maybe I was jumping the gun before asking you. I got excited about seeing them because I miss them, but I also want them to meet you.
Propping my chin on his chest, I just stare at him. My mind is racing with questions.
Do I want to meet his parents? Am I ready to meet them?
I’m still not ready for our relationship to be out in the open at work yet.
But, I know my heart belongs to this man and taking this step may be what I need to help push me out of the cocoon of our private bubble.
My family definitely knows something is up, what with me skipping family dinner the last couple Sundays.
As fast as we’ve been moving, meeting each other's family feels . . . natural. I can only hope Julian’s family will like me.
He’s so close to them, moving back to South Carolina because he missed them.
If they are anything like him, I’m sure they are wonderful people, but they will want only the best for him.
Which I can understand because I want that for my siblings.
Mina and Sylvie are perfect together, friends who secretly wanted the other for years, and are now so happy with their growing family.
As for my brother, he’s never talked about it, but when he came home from culinary school, he was different—despondent and quieter, only finding joy in the restaurant.
I hope he can find happiness and contentment one day.
Maybe it’s time I introduce him to my family as well.
My parents will certainly be curious and maybe a little hesitant because I haven’t brought anyone around in years.
But I hope they see how happy he makes me and accept him.
Mina and Sylvie will welcome him into the fold straight away.
I even think my grumpy brother will move past his big brother-protector role because he truly wants to see me as happy as Mina is.
I’ve been silent for so long, Julian kisses my head with a sigh. “I understand if you’re not comfortable with it.”
Leaning up on my elbow, I seal my lips to his, pouring all the love that overflows my heart, but I’m not ready to say out loud yet into the kiss. His patience and understanding with me makes me fall even deeper.
“Baby, I would be honored to meet your parents, the people who are responsible for making you the man you are today.”
“Really? Because there’s—”
I cut him off with another kiss. “Yes, really.” Running a hand over his bearded jaw, I may not be able to say those three words, but I do tell him what I can put into words.
“It’s just . . . It’s easy to forget how quickly everything has happened between us, but Julian, this all feels so right with you.
And that’s what makes me pause because I still can’t wrap my head around that.
It just doesn’t feel possible, so I sort of have to stop and take a breath. ”
“Aleena, take all the breaths you need. I will still be here loving you, even when it doesn’t feel so impossible that a love like this can happen so fast and be real.”
My jaw gapes as my heart starts pounding.
Julian has been so up front about his feelings for me, he’d mentioned love once before without explicitly saying it.
I've tried not to dwell on why. Was it because he has strong feelings, but not all the way yet? Or was he again moving at my pace, letting me get comfortable with how serious we’ve become?
I try to sit up, but he tightens his arms around me, keeping me by his side.
“Nope. You’re staying right here.” Straightening my sleep bonnet, he smiles warmly.
“I’m so in love with you, pretty girl. It may not make sense, but I know you’re it for me.
It has been so hard to not just come out and say it so many times, and honestly, I can’t do it anymore.
I want you to know. I want to tell you every chance I get. ”
Breaking his hold on me, I swing my leg over his waist. Settling over his hips, my hands grip his strong neck. Leaning down, I attack his lips with mine. Kissing him deeply, exploring tongues and nipping teeth, I suck his tongue until he groans and his dick twitches between my legs.
Lifting my head, I wait until he opens his eyes.
Then I tell him the words that are no longer locked inside but are bursting to break free.
With all the certainty in my heart, I proclaim, “Julian, I love you. I’ve known I love you for a while, but it was too scary to say out loud.
But I’m sure of my feelings for you and would never want you to wonder how I really feel after you just bared your heart to me. ”
Sitting up, he crushes me to him. He chokes out a muffled, “Thank fuck!” into my neck.
A watery giggle escapes from me as I hold him equally as tight. Clinging to each other, we continue to declare our love for each other. Before long, we aren’t using our words but our bodies to express the deluge of emotions.