Chapter 59
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
Leena
Did I leave the room as an excuse for space? Yes. But that was a double-edged sword.
Once I was out of the room and away from all the prying eyes, my mind was able to examine what just happened.
I knew everyone was thinking that Julian hooked up with Alisha, but I knew that was not actually what was going on.
I say this proudly—that man is obsessed with me and I love it!
Why then would he all of a sudden be hooking up with someone else?
And when he’s been insanely busy this week.
Why not on one of his weeks off, while I’m at work?
I have no problem admitting that if this had happened when he first got here, I would have immediately jumped to the conclusion of him playing me.
I was so scared and unsure of him and my own feelings, it would have been a perfect storm from me to assume he was messing around on me.
But we—no, I have come a long way. I’ve never felt more secure in what we have, and I couldn’t be happier. I see forever with this man.
But I know me fleeing the room like I did is going to send Julian spiraling. He’s going to think I assumed the worst and am running. I have given him no reason to believe otherwise.
However, it was just my luck that I got stopped by Joanne on my way back to the room with a new drill set.
Chelsea had put in a work order with maintenance last night, and they were here following up.
With her not in yet, it fell to me to go over it with them and sign off on the work being completed.
The patient was also still on the table, so unfortunately in that moment, we were not the priority. Elle was passing me in the core, so I stopped her and asked her to deliver the drill to the ortho room.
I quickly met with maintenance and then stayed to loiter around the front desk, watching the ortho room—well, Julian—on the monitors.
As soon as he was free, I was going to find him and we were going to talk.
Even though it wasn’t a conversation we should be having in public, much less at work, he deserved to be reassured as soon as possible. He’s done it for me so many times.
I watch as he finishes up, breaks scrub, and leaves the room.
Knowing he would have to update the patient’s family right away, I give him a few minutes’ head start.
Rushing to my office, I rummage around in my tote.
When I find what I’m looking for, I decide to take the long route to the family waiting room where he’ll see me waiting for him.
I have to breathe through the tightening in my chest when he exits the waiting room looking distressed. Pushing off the wall as we make eye contact, I spin on my heel and start walking in the direction of my hidden spot. Looking over my shoulder, I make sure he is following me just as I want.
At my destination, I can’t contain my fretful energy as I wait for him to catch up. He finds me pacing when he rounds the corner.
“Leena—” he starts, but I immediately interrupt him.
“Julian, wait.” Pacing back and forth, words start spewing from my mouth.
“When Sarina read that message, I literally couldn’t believe what I’d heard.
It just didn’t seem possible, but everything happened so fast, and everyone was staring, and I couldn’t think straight.
So yes, I ran. And as soon as I was out of the room and could breathe, I knew there was no way anything could have happened, no matter how it sounded.
Before I could go back in, I was stopped to handle a maintenance issue, and I knew it wasn’t the right time.
You were in the middle of surgery. So I’ve been waiting for you to finish so we could talk. ”
Taking a deep breath, I stop right in front of him. Taking his hands in mine, I continue. “I know I’m rambling, but Julian, I need you to know I know you would never be unfaithful.”
He sinks onto the bench, and drops his head down. Watching his shoulders rapidly rising and falling while he rubs his face is heartbreaking. Have I pushed him too far for the last time?
Slowly moving toward him, he lifts his head.
“I’m sick of hiding, Leena. I want to be who we are in private all the time. I want to be free to show my love for you. I want everyone to know how desperately in love with you I am. And I know you’re not ready but I needed to get that off—”
“I am.”
“You are . . . what?”
Smiling, I say, “Ready to stop hiding.”
With a deep sigh, he sits back on the bench. “Leena, you don’t have to do that just because I’m telling you how I feel. You don’t have to put other people’s happiness before your own.”
“This is for me, too! I’m ready, Julian.”
“Aleena—”
“No, if I weren’t ready, then tell me why I have this?” I pull the papers from my back pocket and wave them in the air between us. “I am ready. I’ve been ready.”
Julian reaches out with one hand, but hesitates. Smiling, I nod at him. He takes the papers from my hand and unfolds the Relationship Declaration forms I printed off last week.
“When did you print these? Today?”
“Last week.” I point to the date on the bottom that autogenerates when we print paperwork off the intranet.
“Are you sure?”
Stepping between his parted legs, I perch on a strong thigh and drape my arms around his shoulders. Resting my forehead against his, I whisper as I look into his eyes, “Julian, I’ve never been more sure.”
Tightening his arms around my waist, he closes his eyes and releases a deep breath. “Thank you, baby. Thank you for taking a chance on me.”
Kissing him, I hiccup a laugh as tears well in my eyes. “Thank you. For being patient, for loving me, for being mine.”
“I’ll always be yours. I love you. So damn much,” he tells me, and then captures my lips in the most devastating kiss full of devotion and promise.
“I love you,” I whisper in between kisses.