Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Grayson’s feet froze in place as his gaze locked with Alexis’s.
He had been walking slowly through the crowd at Rosewood Beach’s bike sprint, feeling almost as if he were in a daze. He’d been to the town before, but he’d never really paused to pay attention to it in the same way before. Every other time he’d been there, he’d felt impatient to leave again. His mind had been on the business that he’d stepped away from, and although he liked Alexis’s family, he’d felt a bit antsy and restless in the little town.
Today, however, he’d been studying his surroundings as if Rosewood Beach was some kind of opponent. He’d wanted to know what exactly was keeping Alexis there. Obviously, her family was part of the equation, but he had a feeling that it was more than that. He’d wanted to uncover what it was about Rosewood Beach that seemed so much better to his wife than L.A.
All day long, his emotions had felt as though they were on a rollercoaster. He’d felt nervous to see her, excited to see her, and worried about what was going to happen after he surprised her with his presence. Was she going to be happy to see him, or upset that he’d shown up unannounced?
He’d driven past her and Dean walking up to the bike sprint and had seen them enter the crowd. And as he’d made his way through the cheering people, his heart was in his throat, anticipation building inside him.
And then he had looked out at the race and seen her. She’d been pedaling faster than anyone else, a smile of excitement on her face. In the next moment, she’d crossed the finish line ahead of the other participants, and her name had been read off as the winner.
Something had squeezed in Grayson’s chest as he’d watched her get off her bike, laughing with joy. She’d looked happier than he’d seen her look in a long time. For a moment, he had understood more clearly what she’d been saying about feeling as though she had nothing to do in L.A.
Unable to resist the pull drawing him toward her, he had started to make his way through the crowd in her direction. He’d seen her start to move forward, probably looking for Dean, before she had turned around—and time had seemed to crash to a standstill as she had caught sight of Grayson instead.
Her face was frozen into a look of shock, and Grayson wondered if his own features held a similar expression as they stared at each other.
The woman that he’d thought he knew seemed to have disappeared. Her perfectly straightened, smooth hair was messy and windblown, and her cheeks were flushed from exercise. It struck him that there was something different about the way her face looked, and then he realized that she wasn’t wearing nearly as much makeup as she usually did. And the clothes that she was wearing were throwing him for a loop as well. Instead of the sleek designer gym clothes or trim black and white dresses that she’d worn in L.A., she was wearing jean shorts with a plaid shirt tucked into them. She was dressing like the people of Rosewood Beach, blending in perfectly with the crowd.
“Grayson,” she said, sounding breathless. She was staring at him as if he was a ghost, and some of the color had drained from her face.
His heart sank when he saw that she wasn’t happy to see him. She didn’t look upset, certainly, but it was hardly a warm welcome. Part of him had been harboring the hope that she would race up to him and give him a hug as soon as she saw him there, telling him how excited she was to see him. He swallowed as he took a few steps toward her.
“Hello, Alexis.” He smiled almost shyly at her, thinking to himself how beautiful she looked, even—or maybe especially —because of how windblown and flushed she was from the race.
“Grayson. What… what are you doing here?”
He inhaled. He wondered for a moment if he’d been a total fool to have made the decision that he had. The look on her face was making him question everything. Should he really have quit his job and come all the way out there to try to win back her heart? What if she didn’t want to be won back? He recognized just how much was riding on this moment, and he felt his blood rush with nervousness.
“I’m here to see you.” He could hardly get the words out, and she stepped closer to him, frowning.
“What did you say?”
“I’m here to see you.” He almost had to shout for her to be able to hear him over the crowd.
She nodded, her eyes on his face. She looked almost wary, and he felt his heart beating faster in his chest. He told himself that getting there to Rosewood Beach had been the first step. Now that he was there, he needed to put in the work to show her how much he cared about her. Even if she was starting to pull away from their marriage, he needed to use his actions to try to get her to change her mind.
“I didn’t think you—I didn’t expect you to be here.” Alexis also had to talk loudly in order to be heard, and Grayson found himself feeling self-conscious. He felt as though everyone surrounding them in the crowd was hearing everything they said. He guessed that most of the people around them knew who Alexis was, since the town was so small. Even if they didn’t know her personally, they were likely to have some idea of who she was. That would make them more interested in the conversation he was having with his wife, and he didn’t want to have it out in the open like that.
“I want to talk to you,” he said. “I saw you and Dean walk into the crowd here, so I followed you. Could we go somewhere else? Somewhere quieter?”
At that moment, Dean stepped up to them. He was eyeing Grayson as if he wasn’t sure whether to hug him or give him a punch in the jaw, and Grayson swallowed.
“Hey, Dean.” He extended his hand for a handshake, and Dean took it, shaking it firmly.
“Welcome back to Rosewood Beach, Grayson.” Dean’s smile was friendly, but there was an uncertain glint in his eyes. “I didn’t know you were coming here.”
Grayson shook his head. “Alexis didn’t know either. It’s a bit of a spur of the moment decision.” He turned to look at his wife, suddenly wishing he could go off with her and hold her for a while. He felt an ache of missing her well up in his chest, worse than he’d felt when there had been thousands of miles between them. Now that there were only a few feet between them, she felt worlds away from him. “Could we go somewhere else? A coffee shop or a restaurant, maybe?”
Alexis nodded. “Yes, that would be fine. Let’s go to The Salty Spoon.” She turned to Dean. “You can come along with us, Dean.”
Grayson’s heart sank, since although he liked Dean, he wanted time to talk to Alexis alone. It could hardly be a private conversation with Dean sitting right there next to the both of them, potentially eyeing him with mistrust like he seemed to be doing now.
“That’s all right.” Dean smiled, but his smile looked a little forced. “You two go on and catch up. I’ll head home. I’m feeling pretty tired anyway.” He gave Alexis a hug and said something in her ear. Even though Grayson couldn’t hear Dean’s words over the sound of the crowd, he guessed from the shapes Dean’s lips made that he said, “Call me if you need anything.”
Dean set off through the crowd, and Alexis turned back to Grayson, looking almost nervous. “Well, The Salty Spoon is out this way.” She gestured to their left. “If you want to just follow me?”
Grayson nodded, and she turned around and started walking through the crowd. He followed her, feeling at a loss. He watched the sunlight gleam on her beautiful hair, and he noticed that her graceful stride had remained unchanged. She’d always moved a little bit like a princess, he thought. He’d been so smitten with her when they first met. She was beautiful, certainly, but she had a genuine, earnest quality about her that had captured his attention from the first moment. He felt his heart twist with fear as he wondered if he was going to lose her.
Alexis led him out of the crowd and along the sidewalk toward the waterfront. The leaves of trees lining the road rustled in the light wind overhead, and the smell of the ocean was fresh and invigorating. Grayson wished that he could simply enjoy this beautiful day with his wife, instead of feeling as though there was a rock in his chest.
A few minutes later, they reached The Salty Spoon. It was around one thirty, and the restaurant wasn’t particularly busy. They had no trouble getting a table and were seated at a booth with a window view of the sparkling ocean.
“Have you eaten?” Grayson forced a smile onto his face as he sat down across from his wife. He felt nervous about talking to her. He’d never been good at expressing his emotions, and he wondered if he would be able to describe his thoughts and feelings to her in a way that she could understand, or if he was about to botch the whole thing.
“No, I haven’t. Well, Dean and I got doughnuts a while earlier, but I haven’t eaten lunch yet.”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll buy you lunch.”
She nodded, looking at his face but not smiling. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” For a few moments, they stared at each other, and the awkwardness was so thick it could have been cut with a knife.
“I guess I’ll decide what to order,” she said finally, and looked down at her menu as if retreating from his gaze.
“Sounds like a good idea.” He looked down at his menu as well and was surprised to see how many of the options could be described as “comfort food.” There were breakfast options available all day, along with classics such as cheeseburgers, pot pie, lasagna, and beef stroganoff. It wasn’t the kind of menu he was used to seeing at the restaurants he went to in L.A., but he found himself yearning for a chicken pot pie.
Once they’d ordered and the waitress had come back with their drinks, Grayson knew he needed to bite the bullet and tell his wife what he was there to say.
“How have you been?” he asked her, wanting to ease into a conversation with her.
She took a sip of her lemonade, looking out the window for a moment. “I’ve been good,” she said slowly. “Honestly, at first everything was very hard. But now—well, it’s been good here.”
He swallowed, wondering if she was telling him that things were better for her there in Rosewood Beach, or that they were better for her away from him.
“How have things been for you?” She turned back to him with a gentle smile. “I’m surprised you were able to get away from work.”
He took a deep breath, wondering how she was going to take what he was about to tell her. “I don’t have work anymore.”
She froze, staring at him. “What do you mean?”
“I quit my job. I handed off my company to someone else.”
Her jaw dropped, and then she covered her mouth with both her hands.
“Are you angry?” he asked softly, wondering what her reaction meant.
“No, I—it’s your decision, absolutely. I’m just surprised. Never in a thousand years would I have expected you to do that.”
He nodded, feeling tongue-tied. It had been an enormous step, certainly. But he felt as though his business had been weighing him down for years and consuming his thoughts. Now he was free of it, and that meant he could focus on the more important things in life, like his relationship with his wife.
“Why did you quit?” she asked after another moment. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. But—well, we’re not, are we?”
There was silence between them for another few moments. Alexis stared back at him, but she didn’t say anything. He decided to take that as a confirmation that they were not all right.
“I quit my job to be with you.” His voice was quiet. “I came here to Rosewood Beach so that I could be where you are. I—I want to make this work, if we can.”
Her lips parted, but at that moment, their waitress returned with their orders.
“There you are!” she sang out cheerfully as she set down the steaming plates of food. “Pot pie for you, sir, and, Alexis, here’s your breaded cod with waffle fries. I added an extra dish of honey mustard sauce, because I know you like it.” The waitress straightened and put her hands on her hips, clearly unaware of the awkward conversation they’d been having. “Everything look good to you folks? You let me know if I can get you anything else.”
“We will. Thank you, Tracy.” Alexis smiled at the waitress, who gave a cheerful salute and bustled off to help her next table.
Grayson coughed lightly. It felt strange to see Alexis treated like an old friend while he was referred to as “sir.” Tracy clearly didn’t realize he was Alexis’s husband, which made him feel odd.
For a few moments, they ate quietly. He was dying to know her thoughts, but he didn’t want to push her too hard. The food was incredible—his pot pie was rich and creamy, and it seemed to melt in his mouth. It certainly was comfort food, and he felt his spirits bolstered by it despite how nervous he still felt.
Finally, he decided he needed to be the one to start up the conversation again. Alexis kept eating quietly, staring out the window as if in a daze.
“I felt that coming here was the only way that we could make things work,” Grayson said softly. “So I decided that was what I needed to do.”
Alexis swallowed, watching his face. He wondered what she was thinking, and why she still seemed hesitant and distant. He guessed that she had many questions for him, but perhaps she didn’t know where to begin. After all, the distance between them had become more than just the miles. He knew he needed to tell her how he was feeling.
He took a deep breath. Expressing his emotions had always been hard for him, but he was determined to make it clear to her how he felt. “I know that I haven’t put the effort into our marriage that I should have,” he told her. “I know that I focused too much on my job. I let it become a distraction—no, more than a distraction. I let it become my life. I’m sorry for that, Alexis. I wish I’d done better.”
He hesitated. He didn’t know how to tell her about the way he’d been struggling with needing to feel successful, and never reaching a place where he felt as though what he’d done was enough. To share that with her felt too emotionally vulnerable, and he didn’t know how to put those thoughts into words.
“And I know I can’t go back in time and change the way I’ve treated you.” He had an impulse to reach across the table and take her hand, but he resisted it. He was worried that she might pull her hand away. “But I am ready to fight for our relationship. From now on, I’m going to treat you differently. I promise.”
Alexis rubbed her face with her hands. When she pulled her hands away, she was frowning and she looked confused and uncertain. His heart sank, since he had been hoping that after he’d told her he wanted to fight for her, things would begin to warm up between them.
“I need time to process this, Grayson. I—I feel overwhelmed. I’m grateful that you want to fight for us, but—well, I’m not ready to disrupt the healing I’ve been finding here in Rosewood Beach. I’ve found a lot of fulfillment here, and I’ve been able to focus on my family. I think they need my care right now, and I don’t want to drop them for… for someone who feels more like a stranger now.”
His heart ached a little when he heard her words, but he nodded slowly, since he didn’t want her to see how upset he was. He felt a sense of panic when he realized that their roles seemed to have switched and she was now the one who wasn’t thinking very much about their relationship.
“I understand what you’re saying.” He suddenly had a frog in his throat, and he cleared it awkwardly. “I’d like to stick around town, though, if that’s all right with you.”
I want to stop being a stranger, Alexis, he thought desperately.
She nodded. “Okay.”
He watched her face for a moment, hoping she would suggest that he could stay where she was staying. Where had she said she was living now? With Hazel? Even if Alexis didn’t want him sleeping in her room with her, maybe there was another guest bedroom, or a couch in the living room he could sleep on. He wanted to be able to see Alexis in the morning and at night, to start and end their days together like they used to.
Alexis didn’t say anything, and he repressed a deep sigh. “I’ll check into a hotel,” he said after another moment.
“There’s the bed and breakfast,” she suggested.
“Well, I’d like to stay somewhere for more than one night.”
She nodded, looking almost wary. He wished she would at least smile a little about the idea of him staying in town, but her expression seemed to be a mixture of doubt and uncertainty.
This is going to be harder than I thought, he realized.
Although he felt worried and disappointed, a firm resolve rose in him. He wasn’t going to give up easily. He was there in Rosewood Beach, near his wife again, and he was going to fight to show her how much he loved her.