Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Alexis heaved a long sigh as she set down a tray of dirty dishes in the kitchen of The Lighthouse Grill. Despite her fatigue, there was a lightness to her steps. She always loved the adrenaline that accompanied the dinner rush at her family’s pub, and it had been another successful and fast-paced evening.
She brushed damp strands of hair back from her face, and laughed to herself over how much she was sweating.
I’m a working girl now, she thought. Just look at my hands! I’m getting calluses. It’s been weeks since I got a manicure.
She smiled, feeling pleased. She wondered what Grayson would say if he could see her, and then she remembered in the next instant that he was still in town. She’d been so actively pushing the thought of him from her mind that for a moment, she’d forgotten he was there in Rosewood Beach, waiting to talk with her.
She bit her lip as she stepped back out into the dining room. She felt her heart fluttering at the thought of Grayson being there in town, wanting to repair things with her. It felt too good to be true, and she was afraid that something was going to go wrong and all of her hopes were going to be dashed. She hadn’t meant to be unkind to him, but she’d kept herself exceptionally busy as a means of avoiding talking with him. Everything she’d been keeping busy with was important and it needed to get done at some point, but she knew she was fooling herself whenever she tried to tell herself that none of it could have waited.
She swallowed, feeling a twinge of guilt. She always pictured Grayson as independent, someone who enjoyed solitude. He’d spent so much of their marriage acting as though he didn’t need her at all that it felt strange to picture him wanting to talk with her now. The idea of a vulnerable Grayson who needed her was a foreign concept, but one that stirred her heart when she thought of it.
She told herself firmly that she needed to be brave and talk with him soon. After all, he was still her husband, and she owed him that at least.
As she was making her way over to one of her tables, intending to clear the dirty dishes off it, she froze. Someone was standing in the doorway to the pub, watching her. He had his hands in his pockets, which seemed uncharacteristic of him, but she would have known those broad shoulders and those green eyes anywhere.
She nodded at him, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. He still made her heart beat faster like a schoolgirl, and she felt flushed and nervous. She decided to clean up her table and then go talk to him. After all, she told herself foolishly, it was possible that he was just there for a meal and had no intention of trying to talk to her at all.
She hurriedly stacked the dirty dishes onto a tray and carried them back into the kitchen. As she worked, she was acutely conscious of Grayson staring at her. As soon as she was behind the swinging doors of the kitchen, she peered through the small window, and saw that he was staring at the doors that she’d just disappeared through.
Before stepping back out into the dining room, she popped inside the employee bathroom and smoothed back her hair and pinched a little color into her cheeks.
When she reentered the dining room, Grayson was still standing by the front door with a blank expression. Since he hadn’t been seated by the hostess, Alexis had to assume that he wasn’t there to eat, he was there to see her.
She cleared her throat nervously and approached him. He watched her intently as she walked up to him, and she found herself blushing a little.
“Why are you staring at me?” she asked quietly.
“It’s interesting seeing you in a place like this. You really seem like you’re in your element.” Grayson spoke softly, and despite the deep, masculine quality of his voice, he sounded a little shy.
She shook her head even though she agreed with his words. She did feel as though she was in her element there at the pub. “You haven’t paid me much mind in the past year. How would you know when I’m in my element?”
“Alexis, please.” He took a step toward her. “We need to talk.”
“I—I know we do.” Even though she’d just told herself that she needed to have a conversation with him, now that she had him right there in front of her, her jitters returned in full force. She felt as though she needed more time to think about everything and decide if she would be willing to trust him with her heart again or not. “I’m just so busy right now—we just got done with the dinner rush, and I still have a couple of tables open.”
At that moment, the door opened behind Grayson and Vivian stepped inside The Lighthouse Grill. Her eyebrows lifted in surprise when she saw Grayson and she immediately gave him a warm hug.
“Grayson! How lovely to see you.” Vivian’s voice was friendly as she greeted her son-in-law, although Alexis could see that the wheels of her mother’s mind were turning as she looked at him. “I’d heard you were in town. Welcome back to Rosewood Beach.”
“Thank you.” Grayson spoke stiffly, as though he was a little uncomfortable, but he smiled at Vivian. “I’m glad to see that your restaurant is still doing well.”
“Oh, it’s a whirlwind, but it’s a fun whirlwind.” Vivian gestured at the busy dining room, waving her hand.
“Mom,” Alexis said, glad to have something to talk about other than having a conversation with Grayson, “you weren’t supposed to come in tonight.”
“Oh, stop policing me so much!” Vivian laughed. “Julia is over at Cooper’s having dinner with him and Macey, and I’m bored to tears sitting at home by myself. I wanted to come in to see how things were doing over here.”
“Well, things are doing great.” Alexis smiled. “We just finished the dinner rush.”
“That’s great.” Vivian’s eyes twinkled knowingly. “Why don’t you take a nice long dinner break and sit down with your husband? I’ll finish up with any tables you still have open.”
“I—” Alexis started to protest, but Vivian shook her head firmly.
“You should talk to your husband. I’m sure he misses you. You two go sit down, and I’ll tell the kitchen to bring you out some food.” Vivian smiled and bustled off toward the kitchen, and Alexis turned back to Grayson, feeling suddenly very shy.
Grayson nodded his head toward an empty booth. “How about right here?”
“Sure.”
They sat down across from each other, and Alexis clasped and unclasped her hands in her lap a few times.
“How have you been?” Grayson asked, his eyes on her face.
“Very busy. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you sooner, but it’s been one thing after another.”
She saw a troubled look appear in his eyes, and she wondered if he knew that she had simply been avoiding him. She guessed that he did know, and her heart ached for him a little. Even though he’d ignored her for the past year, always focusing on work, she didn’t want to treat him the same way he’d treated her. After all, she knew how much it hurt and he hadn’t known that when he was treating her that way.
“Here you are!” Vivian appeared a moment later, carrying a tray laden with plates and a couple of glasses of water. “Allison whipped up these French Dips for you, with sides of mashed potatoes and gravy. I guess she’s got extra mashed potatoes tonight.” She smiled as she set down the hot plates of food with the quick precision of a professional. “Can I get either of you anything else to drink? Some root beer, maybe?”
Alexis realized that her mother was remembering that root beer was Grayson’s favorite type of soft drink. It was a detail she herself had almost forgotten, since it had been so long since she’d gotten dinner with Grayson anywhere other than some prestigious restaurant, at events that were always more business meeting than anything else.
“I’m fine, thank you, Vivian.” Grayson smiled politely. “This is very nice.”
“I’m glad you like it. Well, eat up before your food gets cold. Holler if you need anything.” Vivian exchanged eye contact with her daughter briefly before going over to take care of another table, and Alexis knew that her mother was silently telling her to be brave and talk to her husband with an open heart.
Grayson slowly took a bite of the mashed potatoes and gravy, grunting a little as he tasted how good they were. Alexis sat staring down at her sandwich, picking apart the slices of roast beef slowly as if she was trying to turn them into confetti instead of eating them. Even though half an hour earlier, her stomach had been rumbling with hunger, she now felt as though she didn’t have any kind of an appetite.
Grayson took a long sip of water, almost as if bracing himself, and then he cleared his throat. “I know I have a lot I need to apologize for, Alexis. If that’s all right with you, I’d just like to start there.”
She swallowed, feeling her stomach flip over. She didn’t quite know what to make of his change of heart, but the way he was watching her as if he was smitten with her made her feel things that she hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Of course,” she replied. “I’m willing to listen to whatever it is you have to say.”
He nodded. “Well, thank you. I know that for a long time, I didn’t treat you right. I fully recognize that I neglected our relationship, and I put my work first. Work was like some kind of fog, blinding me to what was really important. I’m sorry. I realize that—well, I realize that I’m in danger of losing you. I don’t want to lose you. I’m ready to start prioritizing what’s really important in life.”
Her heart started to beat faster as she listened to his words. Her emotions were a jumble, and she felt a tightness in her chest as she realized how much she missed spending time with him the way they used to. For a few moments, she let herself imagine what it might be like if their relationship really did become repaired, and he treated her as though she was a priority in his life.
“Are… are you sure that’s what you really want?” she asked slowly, twirling her fork through her mashed potatoes. “I know how much work means to you. Are you sure you’re ready to just start focusing on other things so suddenly?”
He nodded, and the look in his eyes was convincing. He seemed to have an energy, a determination, that she’d never seen in him before. “Alexis, I quit my job. I’m all in here. I know that in order to win you back, I need to be able to focus on our relationship. I spent too many years chasing things that ultimately don’t matter. I was never going to feel successful enough. We had more than enough money to live on, but it was never enough for me. But you were. I got distracted, trying to achieve things that I thought I had to, but now I’ve realized that I need to adjust my goals. I want to slow down. I want a change of pace, like what you’ve found here in Rosewood Beach. It seems to have done you a world of good, and maybe that’s what could save our relationship.”
She bit her lip, feeling her heart ache. She wanted to believe him, but she was afraid to get her hopes up. She’d found peace there in her hometown, and she didn’t want to disrupt it and feel grief and disappointment over a failed marriage with Grayson all over again. “I want to believe you,” she said, taking a deep breath. “And I want everything to work out between us. But—I can’t imagine you being happy here in Rosewood Beach. What on earth would you find to do here? You’ll go totally out of your mind!”
Grayson reached across the table and took her hand gently. “Just give this a chance, Alexis, please. We can take things slowly if you want to. Why don’t we just try to get reacquainted and see how it goes?”
She pressed her lips together, feeling as though she was on the edge of some kind of precipice, and if she stepped off, she didn’t know if she was going to fall or fly.
“Okay. We’ll see how it goes.” She offered him a feeble smile and he smiled back at her with a light of happiness in his eyes.