34. Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter thirty-four
T he sun glints off the waves as Brick and I stroll along the beach. I take a deep breath of the salty air, letting it fill my lungs.
"Remember that time on the other island when we tried to protect the girls without them knowing we were there?" Brick grins. "Man, that did not go as planned."
I chuckle. "Didn't we think about trying to pose as pool cleaners to get inside? But we settled on old-school trenchcoats and hiding behind large potplants."
"Yep. Ordered those fake mustaches and everything." Brick shakes his head. "We looked ridiculous."
"Hey, I would have made a very sexy pool boy!" I nudge him playfully.
We're quiet for a moment, listening to the rush of the surf. I know we're both thinking about the fight ahead.
"Alright, enough moping and enough nostalgia about pool boy dreams that never happened," Brick finally says. "We need a new strategy to take down Tane's goons. A foolproof plan."
"We could start with low-level intimidation tactics," I suggest. "Like leaving disturbing balloon animals at their targets' homes, or popping up in their rear-view mirrors during late-night drives. But as the pressure mounted, we'd escalate things. Arson, kidnappings, selective amputations—nothing would be off-limits."
"We'll be like a pack of demented leprechauns," Brick said, his eyes alight with twisted glee. "But that sounds like it will take a while to ramp up to the stage we need… we need Tane gone, like… yesterday."
I rub my hands together. "Ooh, I've got one. Hear me out: we send them all free passes for hot yoga classes..."
Brick bursts out laughing. "Hot yoga? For Tane's meathead mobsters?"
"Just imagine it!" I continue, grinning. "We get them in their little spandex shorts, all contorted into wild poses. Then—BAM!" I slam my fist into my palm. "We ambush them mid-downward dog!"
Brick is doubled over, wheezing with laughter. "I'd pay money to see that. Tane's top hitman wobbling in tree pose."
"Right? They won't know what hit them!" I'm on a roll now. "I bet we could convince them it's some kind of mandatory fitness training. A Pilates Day of Reckoning!"
Brick wipes his eyes, still chuckling. "As appealing as that mental image is, I don't think yoga is our best bet. We need something they can't resist..."
I nod, ideas churning. We walk further down the beach, scheming. The sun glints off the waves, but my mind is sparking even brighter. Brick and I will come up with the perfect plan to take Tane down—no matter how ridiculous we have to get
Brick's eyes light up. "I've got it. We send them an invitation for an exclusive whiskey tasting."
I raise my eyebrows, intrigued. "Go on..."
"We tell them it's some super rare, small-batch whiskey from like, I dunno, a monastery in Tibet or something." Brick warms to the idea. "We hype it up as the smoothest, most luxurious whiskey ever to touch their lips. The kind of whiskey kings would kill for."
I nod along, seeing where he's going with this.
"So of course, they all show up, ready to sample this mythical liquor." Brick pauses for dramatic effect. "But little do they know, the whiskey is spiked with a powerful sedative."
He mimes someone passing out. "Nighty night, Tane's thugs. They'll be out cold before they can say '12-year single malt.'"
I laugh, clapping Brick on the back. "I love it! Operation Whiskey Down, let's call it. We'll toast to it!" I pretend to clink glasses with him.
Brick grins. "Here's to taking down Tane with creativity and style."
We walk along the beach tossing ideas back and forth, each one more ridiculous than the last. But with Brick by my side, I know we'll hatch the perfect scheme soon enough. Tane won't know what hit him.
Brick's eyes light up as another idea comes to him. "Okay, get this. We send each of Tane's main guys a gift basket."
I raise an eyebrow, intrigued. "What's in these mystery baskets?"
He rubs his hands together gleefully. "Nothing but the finest bath bombs and scented candles. Maybe a nice loofah or two."
I burst out laughing at the image. "Can you imagine those muscle-bound goons soaking in a tub surrounded by candles and bath bombs? Their massive arms covered in suds?"
Brick joins in my laughter. "Right? Have you seen me in a bathtub?"
I'm doubled over by this point, the image of Brick splashing around in the tub with a rubber ducky.
We include a card saying it's a 'relaxation package' from an anonymous admirer."
"They'll be so confused but won't be able to resist trying it all out," I chuckle. "And their egos will be so puffed up they won't dare tell each other about it."
"Exactly! Then when they're all pruney and smelling of lavender, we make our move." Brick mimes kicking down a door.
"Operation Bubble Bath Blitz!" I proclaim. We high five at the ridiculous yet brilliant plan.
As the sun sinks lower, our schemes grow wilder. No idea too absurd or impractical. Laughter and camaraderie carry us through the evening.
"Wait, I' ve got it!" he exclaims at one point. "This plan is so simple in its insanity, we can't fail!"
"Oh yeah? Now I need to hear this one," I laugh and shake my head.
"So…we dress up as a group of deranged clowns straight out of a Stephen King novel and start terrorizing the streets. We'll target Tane's men, of course, but also the people closest to them. Wives, kids, dogs, no one would be safe. The goal would be to shatter the illusion that Tane Brown is invincible, and replace it with fear—gnawing, all-consuming fear."
"That's a great plan, but it would take far too long. Fear takes a while to build, even when there are killer clowns involved."
Brick considers my opinion for a moment, his lip twitching. For a second, I worry I've offended him with my quick dismissal of his crazy plan. But just as quickly, he nods and shrugs. "You're right. But let's keep that up our sleeves for a rainy day. I might order a psycho clown outfit for each of us in the meantime… just in case."
His plans may seem like straight-up lunacy to the untrained, but underneath the jokes, I sense Brick's brilliant strategic mind at work. He's a master at understanding people's weaknesses and using them to his advantage. His plans aren't just physical, they're intensely psychological as well. This is all part of his planning process, and Tane doesn't stand a chance against his brilliance. Because underneath his comedy, Brick knows that Tane and his army are some of the most evil imaginable.
I laugh, recalling the near-death experience we barely survived on the other island. "Man, we thought we were so slick, like a pair of sexy, dark knights." I pause. "But for real. We need to take that bastard down, Brick. He's got the whole island chain under his thumb, and I'm sick of it." I clench my fists, the desire for retribution burning in my blood.
Brick nods, running a hand through his shaggy surfer hair. Usually it's tied up in a man bun, but today it runs wild and free. His 'brainstorming hair', he calls it. "I'm thinking... maybe we take them out one by one, and see how long he lasts. Seeing his precious goons get picked off like that would have to fuck with his head."
I double over with sadistic glee, which I assume looks comical given my gangly frame. "Oh, I've got some ideas, Brick. Gruesome, twisted, and oh-so-sweet. Can we start with that one bastard, the one with the gold tooth?"
"Wesley, I think his name is? Denzo's replacement?" Brick asks, a devious smirk curling his lips. "The one who tried to salsa on Aria's Oasis's dance floor, thinking he's Casanova? Oh, I've got a plan for him. Do you know how much I love my veggies?"
My eyes widen, a sick grin spreading across my face. "You're sick, Brick. You know that, right?"
"Dark, twisted, and absolutely delicious," Brick growls. "We'll lure him to a quiet spot, and then I'll show him the true meaning of being a side dish."
I choke on laughter, nearly doubling over. "You're a sick f**k, but I love it. Next? What about the one with the little... complex?"
I can just about see Brick's mind spin, gears turning as I consider their next victim. "Ah, I know just the thing. We'll invite him to Aria's, pour on the charm, and then we'll introduce him to my 'special' squeeze."
"Oh, no," I whimper. "Please, Brick, not the ball vise again!"
"Oh, yes, my dear friend. And this time, we'll make sure there's no escape. We'll show Tane and his men once and for all that they've picked the wrong crew to mess with."
"Sure," I shrug, "But what about Tane himself? I've got a score to settle with that fucker. We all do. He thinks he can just keep screwing people over and hurting innocent people? Fuck that. He needs the best of the worst… the worst of the best… you know what I mean!"
Brick's eyes gleam, the fire in his eyes sending a chill down my spine. "Don't you worry, my friend. I've been saving the best for last. We're gonna take him down in a way he never saw coming. We'll lure him to Aria's, and we'll make it a night he'll never fucking forget."
I tilt my head, observing the dangerous glint in Brick's eyes. His psychotic creativity energizes me. "Do tell, Brick. I love it when you get... extra creative."
Brick takes a deep breath, his voice taking on a low, sinister cadence. "We'll invite him to the restaurant, maybe even make him think we're ready to back down. I haven't decided whether we'll stay anonymous at this point. Either way, when he least expects it, we'll strike. I've got a little surprise for him, courtesy of my new... friend."
My eyes widen as understanding dawns on me. "You mean..."
Brick grins, his teeth shining in the dim light. "Yes, my friend. We're going to give Tane Brown a taste of his own medicine, literally." He cackles, the sound sending a shiver down my spine.
"Well, I'll be damned," I let out a low whistle. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually starting to look forward to this war."
And with that, we start making our way back from the beach, our footsteps echoing with the promise of destruction and retribution. Tane and his men may have underestimated the Snakes and the Brixtons, but they're about to learn that this island's underbelly has a bite far deadlier than its bark.
"I can't believe you vetoed 'Killer Clownage'," Brick shakes his head. "Or the Terrifying Titty Twister," he says, referring to a plan he randomly blurted out the other day over coffee.
As the sun begins to set over the water, a chill wind picks up, carrying with it the scent of blood and betrayal. Very soon, the tides will turn.
In only a matter of days, Tane Brown will discover that it was one thing to start a war with the Snakes and the Brixtons... but it's an entirely different game to try and finish it.
We have a solid, although unconventional, plan.
And as the bodies pile up, and Tane's grip on power—and his sanity—starts to slip, we'll be ready to make our move.
We'll infiltrate his inner circle and inflict maximum pain before dealing the final blow.