Chapter 23
Rosetta brushed her fingertips over the blue railing of her ship, a small smile fixed upon on her features.
Alister had already gone back to the Howling Death and was currently leading the way. She could see the back of him manning the helm from the short distance between them.
But she wasn’t walking the length of her ship to look at him.
She was doing it to admire what she was currently standing on.
Unlike the Howling Death’s grey and aged sails, the Laughing Siren had crisp white ones.
The oak timber was polished, sanded, cleaned, then finished with wax.
Not a rope was frayed, not a single metal rig rusted.
It was beautiful.
She walked her way to the very front and held onto a rope to lean over and look at the wooden mermaid sculpture with a far too jolly face. Its hands were forward, like it was reaching for something, and its tail curled down before its fins spread behind it.
“When you told me this ship was glorious, you weren’t kidding,” Mr Smith said as he came up the short rise of steps.
Rosetta reached her hand out to the mermaid, wanting to touch her but unable to.
“It is, isn’t it?” She finally stood back and turned to him.
His eyes appraised her, much like a proud parent. “And it’s yours now.”
Hearing him say those words – with that look in his eyes and that caring, proud expression – made tears she didn’t even know she’d been holding in come to the surface. Mr Smith had never seen Rosetta cry before, but he didn’t look at her with shock. It was almost as if he was expecting it.
He closed the space between them and brought her in for a tight hug, placing an arm around her shoulders and a hand on her head. A quiet sob fell from her as she reached around and grabbed the back of his brown tunic, bunching it in her clenched fists as she buried her face against his chest.
He turned them so his back was to the rest of the ship, hiding her from the crew as she wept.
How did he know? How did John know Rosetta had been holding this in?
She wasn’t sure if they were tears of pain or tears of joy, but they overtook her so violently, she shuddered as she melted into his comforting warmth and embrace.
Was I waiting for Alister to leave before I did this?
She didn’t think she would’ve had the courage to cry in front of him. Rosetta didn’t want him to know just how deeply she’d buried the hurt of her past.
She knew tears had slipped free when she’d been facing Theodore, but that was different. That was in the moment. It wasn’t the yawning depth lingering afterwards that was far worse by comparison. Only Naeem and Mr Smith knew just how much Rosetta had been hurting.
“I’ve waited so long for this,” she cried, shaking her head to nuzzle her face against him. She was probably getting tears and snot all over him, but he didn’t seem to mind. “Why did it have to take so long?”
Three years she’d been holding this in. Not once had she ever cried about it, not once had she let it ache her heart this heavily.
“Shh.” He patted the back of her head in a soothing manner, tenderly brushing over the length of her dishevelled hair. “All that matters is that it’s done, that he’s dead.”
Her fists clenched tighter, pulling on his tunic.
“He couldn’t even admit to it.” A hiccup of breath clogged her chest. “He still tried to tell me it was my fault, John.”
“It wasn’t, Rosetta.” He held her tighter. “You know that. Don’t listen to the words of a bad man.”
“I wanted that child,” she finally admitted for the first time to another person. Not even Naeem knew. “I wanted something to love, something to care for. I wanted to cherish something the way I wanted to be cherished.”
John was a father; she knew he would understand.
Rosetta had wanted to grow a daughter who would never be forced to make the decision she’d made, or a son who was nothing like his horrible father. It was her hope for a life she thought she could bear when she’d been married, to focus all the love and attention she had onto a child.
She hated Theodore, hated him from the moment he revealed how he’d tried to destroy her family. She’d even accepted the occasional slap until then, but then she’d turned spiteful, which earned her harder and harsher punishments.
“Why did it have to be me?”
“Because no other woman would have had the courage to do what you did today.”
A louder cry fell from her at his words. She knew he was right. No other woman would have had the will, the smarts, the strength to do every terrible thing she had done to get to this ship.
But it shouldn’t have had to be anyone!
“The things I’ve done, John...” Some of them were unbearable in her memories.
“I know I wasn’t there at the beginning,” he said with a comforting whisper, tilting his head to place his cheek on her hair. “But we’re all here to make sure you don’t have to do those things again, unless you want to.”
She gave an awkward laugh. “You wouldn’t say that to your daughter.”
“No.” He laughed back. “I would never approve of her doing those things, but that’s because it wouldn’t have made her happy. You’re different to her; she was soft and precious.”
“I-I’m totally precious too.”
His chest rumbled as he squeezed her tighter and laughed a little louder. “Yeah, but you’re as soft as a rock, my dear.”
“Thank you,” she said with a sigh when her sobbing had subsided, releasing him at long last. “I needed to let that out.”
“I figured today would be the day you would finally give in.”
She looked over the railing to stare at the horizon, then peeked at the sails of the Howling Death, only to notice Alister regarding her. She quickly turned away. With her back to him, and the rest of the ship, she quickly wiped at her face.
Shit, hopefully he didn’t see. At least he wouldn’t have heard it, but she was sure her face was a terrible, tear-stained pink.
“Are you sure about this?” Mr Smith asked with concern.
She saw in her periphery that he was staring at Alister, his hands folded behind his back.
She waved her hand up and down at him dismissively. “Stop being so overprotective.”
“Is this what you want to do, though? You told me you wanted to sail away from the east, but that’s currently our heading.”
“There’s a map leading that way he wants to follow while we’re in these parts.”
He turned to give her a frown. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. He is leading us that way – are you sure that’s what you want?”
“No,” she laughed out.
She came to the railing to stare at Alister, leaning against it with one arm folded while she rested her chin in her palm. He was looking away once more, but the blistering heat had faded from her cheeks enough to indicate her colour was returning to normal.
“I don’t know what I want. I just want to follow what feels good for once.”
“He’s a pirate,” he said with far too much bite, and her eyes trailed back to him.
“So am I,” she rebuffed.
“Yes, I know, but he may end up being just like Theodore. This could all be a facade to get goodness knows what from you.”
“Then I will put a bullet in his head too.” She turned back to look at Alister, who was regarding her once more, and she gave him a fluttering finger wave. “I’m sure he will irritate the shit out of me soon enough and we will sail away with any treasure we gain along the way.”
“You’re using him?” Mr Smith leaned his backside against the railing with his arms folded. “That sounds more like you.”
Her answer was slow to come.
“In many ways. This means I don’t have to choose our heading – since I have no idea where I want to take us.
As much as I dreamed about today, I didn’t really have a plan otherwise.
” She gave a sigh at his raised brow, like he didn’t truly believe her.
“I just want to feel like a real woman for once. Is that so much to ask for?”
He gave a warm, welcoming chuckle. “Not at all. I’m just making sure you made this decision and were not coerced into it.”
She gave a warm smile. “I’ll never allow a man to force me to do anything again. You should know that by now, John.”
She childishly poked her tongue out at Alister, who was eight years older than her twenty-one. He just shook his head like he was disappointed in her before turning it to face the horizon once more.
“Come, I want to see the interior of the ship and the damage his crew made to our stocks.”
She moved away from the railing so she could wander below deck and take in the heart of her ship.
“I would have advised against this,” Derek said to Alister while he was manning the helm.
The winds are steady today. He didn’t have to put much effort into steering his ship other than keeping it on track.
“Aye, I know.” He took his eye away from the horizon to peek slightly behind him at Rosetta, only to find she’d moved away from the railing of her ship. He shrugged and faced forward again. “I’ve made my decision.”
“Ye know Mad Dog would never have approved of this.”
“Nay, but he isn’t the captain anymore.”
Derek had been Captain Mad Dog’s quartermaster and his first mate for most of his command. He knew the man better than anyone, even Alister.
“What happens when yer done with her? Women don’t like ta be scorned, turn spiteful when they are.”
Alister didn’t think Rosetta would care that much when he told her he was done with her. Still, he said, “As long as she doesn’t point her cannons at us, I don’t care how she feels.”
“What if she does?”
Alister gave a snort of laughter. “Her hull may be stronger than ours, but we have more cannons.”
He’d fight fire with fire and then hightail it away.
“What if she tries to follow?”
A strong grimace almost made him shudder with disgust. He couldn’t think of anything worse!
“She won’t. She’s not stupid.”
Derek raked his fingers over his long, scraggly beard. “The crew is worried yer going to turn soft.”
With a snarl on his face, Alister grabbed Derek by the front of his shirt and yanked him closer. They were almost nose to nose as he lifted the man to the tips of his toes while his peg leg scratched at the ground.
“Then you tell those lads that they’ve got another thing coming. No woman will have the power to make me any less of a killer. I’m not called the ‘Bloody Storm of the Seas’ for nothing, and they best remember that or I’ll gut them.”
He tossed the man back, almost making him trip because of his unsteadiness on his wooden leg when it slipped. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing about his own men!
“I’m not some land-loving man,” he spat, every ounce of hatred he had settling onto his features.
“I have no interest in buying some house, starting a family with a woman, and living my days in peace. I plan to die with my sword in my hand and covered in another man’s blood.
If I so happen to look like I’m going that way, I’ll put a bullet in my own head. ”
Derek nodded his head as if he already knew that.
“The lads want to know how long we should be expecting this arrangement, then?” Derek folded his meaty arms across his chest, familiar with Alister’s angry outbursts. “They want to take advantage of this.”
“Who knows?” Alister admitted. “A month? Maybe six?” He shook his head with a laugh. “I doubt it’ll be longer than a year.”
“What if we find the Raider’s trove?” Derek gestured his chin towards the Laughing Siren. “Do you plan to share it with them?”
He shrugged. “A small portion of it as compensation for holding supplies for us. That treasure is ours, and I won’t let anyone else’s greedy hands have more than I’m willing to part with.” Then a wide, evil grin spread across his features. “I’m hoping we’ve split ways before we find it.”
“Are ye actually taking us towards those maps she gave us then?”
“Oh, aye. I’m not waiting to find it. I’m just hoping she draws the short straw with the maps I choose to go to first.”
“Yer a devil as always.” Derek laughed with a deep bellow, stroking his beard with humour. “I didn’t think we had somethin’ ta worry about.”
“Nay, so make sure the rest of the men know that.”
Alister didn’t think his men would ever turn on him, but he didn’t need mistrust surfacing on his ship. He needed their faith in him, their loyalty.
He needed them to care for his back more than their own, and if that meant plucking out a few weeds who may be trying to plant insane ideas like he was going soft, then so be it.
I may be sweet on the lass, but I’d never give up my crew for her. His gaze scanned over the industrious men on the upper decks of his ship. This is my home.
He’d be damned if anyone took it away from him.