Chapter 12
Tessa
Killers.
I look from Weston to Zane, searching for any hint of amusement in either of their gazes. Since I never bothered to check in on Zane, no matter how badly I wanted to, I have no idea what he’s done with his life since the day I walked away.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demand, my gaze shifting between Weston and Zane. Fear momentarily creeps into my mind, but I shove it aside. Weston always had a bit of trouble in his veins, but Zane was as upstanding as they come.
The guy literally spent most of his free afternoons hanging out at the grocery store to help little old ladies carry their groceries to their cars—for free. So Weston must be messing with me. There’s no other explanation.
Killers? Not possible.
“You’re safe here,” Zane tells me, completely ignoring my question. His deep voice still wraps around my heart, a familiar and safe place to fall when my world is crumbling around me.
How many times did I run to him, terrified after one of my dad’s benders? It didn’t matter that everyone in town tried to warn him against me. I was the trouble that would break his heart. Yet, he never wavered. Not once. Zane Knox was the only constant in my life.
If only we’d have known back then that everyone had been right.
That I can do nothing but destroy.
Would I have had the strength to walk away, even if I’d have known how it was going to end up? The selfish side of me wouldn’t trade the time we did have together for anything. Even the pain I know I caused.
I don’t think I’m safe anywhere. And the closer you are to me, the greater the collateral damage will be.
“I really think this is a mistake. I can take all of this to the local police in Savannah and let them sort it out.” The sudden urge to get away from this place—from him—is so strong it nearly chokes the life right out of me.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Zane says, then reaches into his pocket and withdraws his phone.
“I have to take this.” He steps out of the cabin and onto the deck, closing the door behind him.
It shuts hard, and I flinch. I hate that I do, but that little abused girl inside of me is still very, very aware of everyone and everything around her.
And he’d been aggravated when he’d closed the door. Who called?
Weston remains where he is, his focus on me.
We always got along before, but I knew that, if things went sideways and it was because of me, he’d back Zane one hundred percent. They’ve been best friends their entire lives, and it seems that, just like so much in this town, that hasn’t changed.
“You know him well enough to know that he’s not going to let this go. He’s too good to let you walk away, knowing you’re in danger, even after you abandoned him. You never should have come back.”
“I know.” The two words are barely above a whisper. “I didn’t come here for his help.”
He snorts. “No, you’ve never been interested in anyone’s help, have you?
Not when your dad was beating you and we all begged you to tell someone who could do something about it, and not when you decided to walk away from Zane and everyone in this town without so much as a note.
” He takes a step closer, his large frame dwarfing the small space.
“He thought you were dead. If you knew what he did after you left—” he trails off, shaking his head.
“When you leave this time, Tessa, do him a favor, and don’t come back. ”
He turns and leaves, closing the door hard behind him.
The tears begin to fall, so I slide out of the seat and limp toward the door leading down to his bedroom. Once inside, I flip the lock and let the pain hit me with the full force of a tidal wave.
“You keep throwing yourself in these situations, and one of these days, you’re not going to walk away.”
“Do him a favor, and don’t come back.”
Words from those closest to Zane haunt me in this small room.
It never occurred to me that I’d gotten myself into whatever this is. I’ve tried to keep my head down, done what I could to not make waves anywhere I went. Of course, things went sideways a few times, but I made sure it couldn’t follow me.
Yet, it’s starting to feel like I brought the biggest danger right here to the doorstep of the one man I never wanted to hurt.
This isn’t some drunk slob with angry fists; instead, it’s someone who isn’t afraid to use bullets to silence me.
The why doesn’t matter when Zane’s in the line of fire, and I could save him simply by removing myself from the equation.
“Tessa?” Zane calls through the door.
“I’m tired,” I say. “Just lying down.”
“Okay. I’ll let you rest.” Footsteps carry him away from the door, so I bury my face into his pillow and scream.
As soon as the cabin has fallen silent, I carry my shoes in one hand and gently slide the door open.
Zane is sound asleep on the fold-out bed he made by lowering the table.
One muscled arm is draped over his eyes, and his bare chest is on full display, thanks to the blanket pulled down to his waist.
My mouth dries, and I drink him in through the dim light cast through the thin window shades due to the marina lamppost beside his docked boat. The tattoos on his arms climb up over his chest, but it’s not even the dark swirls of ink that have my attention.
It’s the giant scar running from his left pec and disappearing down beneath the blanket.
A thick, jagged scar that doesn’t look like the owner should have survived whatever happened to him.
“Someone tried to rearrange my organs.”
His deep voice through the otherwise silent cabin has me jumping a step back. “Sorry, I—” I lose the ability to speak as Zane sits up and the blanket falls completely away, revealing a toned abdomen. The scar stops just above the waist of his pajama pants.
I can’t breathe.
Can’t tear my gaze from him.
“Going somewhere?” His gaze flicks to the shoes in my hand.
“Yes. I—” I shake my head to clear it.
“You were going to run again.”
I hold up a piece of paper in my hand. “I was going to leave a note this time.”
His nostrils flare. “You think that makes it better?”
I start toward the door. Outside, lightning splits the sky, filling the cabin of the boat with a bright flash of light. “Yes. Because now you know why I left, and you can finally let go. Something you can’t do if you’re dead.” Tears sting the corners of my eyes as I pull the door open.
Another storm has rolled in, and more lightning flashes. The boat rocks harder now.
“Tessa, you can’t leave like this again,” Zane insists, following me out onto the deck.
“If I don’t, then something could happen to you. I’m good at disappearing. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again. They won’t find me.”
“Except this time, it isn’t just changing your name. They found you here. In the town you grew up in. It won’t be as simple to vanish this time. They’re hunting you.”
“Simple?” I whirl on him right as the storm dumps rain down on top of us.
It soaks me near-instantly, and the whipping wind chills me to the core.
“Nothing I’ve done in the last eighteen years has been simple!
But I refuse to drag you down with me. If I do, then—” I trail off.
“What was the point of me leaving in the first place?”
Lightning splits the sky seconds before deafening thunder shakes the world around us.
Zane takes a step closer and points to his bare chest. “Does what I want matter? Has it ever mattered?”
“Of course it has. But you’re too good to know what’s best for you.” My tears mix with the rain. This is why I disappeared without a word last time: Because the longer I stand here with him, the more desperate I am just to fall into his strong arms.
“Stop saying that,” he growls, taking another step closer. Rain drips from his short beard down onto his chest. It slides over the ink and scars on his chest.
I retreat a few steps, needing the distance between us as the storm continues to hammer the boat we’re on. I should be afraid, but it’s nothing compared to the turmoil tearing me up inside.
“Stop saying what? The truth? Is it too hard to hear? You were always too good for me, Zane! I was always trouble!” I retreat another couple of steps.
“Stop saying that!” he bellows.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Everyone else sees what you’re too stubborn to.”
“And what’s that?”
“That you would be better off if you’d never met me.”
He moves forward, and I step away. The backs of my legs hit something, though, and I fall backward—into the raging sea. There’s a split second of shock before I’m painfully aware of the danger I’m in.
The scream barely has enough time to leave me before the cold water wraps around me, its icy fingers ready to pull me down into the stormy depths. I kick, trying to fight my way to the surface, but the searing pain in my leg makes it nearly impossible to do much else.
My lungs burn. Spots invade my vision.
And then, strong arms come around me, and I’m propelled out of the water. I suck in a ragged breath as Zane swims us both back to the tanning ledge of his boat. My hand grips the ladder, and he shoves me up, holding me steady as I climb.
As soon as I’m out of the water, I collapse, my body shaking violently. Zane pushes out of the water, his expression unreadable as he reaches down and gathers me into his arms, then shifts me so he can get up the ladder and onto the main deck.
I keep my eyes closed as the rain continues to pelt us.
Zane doesn’t stop once we’re out of the storm; he continues down into his room, sliding the door open and stepping into the small bathroom. It’s barely large enough for both of us when he sets me down on top of the closed toilet seat.
“What are you doing. I’m f-f-fine,” I stammer.
“You’re going to get hypothermia if we don’t warm you up slowly. For once, Tessa, stop fighting, and just accept the help!” There’s a desperation in his voice that wasn’t there before, and it silences me as the water from his shower comes on.
I can barely keep my eyes open; my body is trembling so hard in his arms. The cold has seeped down through my bones and might as well be wrapping around my heart—ready to stop it for good.
Zane reaches in and tests the temperature, then gathers me back into his strong arms and steps beneath the spray. The heat is searing even though I know the temperature is barely above lukewarm.
“Keep breathing, Tessa,” he says.
I rest my head against his shoulder and take a breath, but it’s shallow. My chest is just so heavy. Exhaustion tugs on me.
“Just a few more seconds, okay? Then we’ll get you dry.”
The seconds tick by, but I can’t even begin to care. Because being held in Zane’s strong arms is more than I ever thought I’d get to experience again. It’s all I’ve dreamt of. All I’ve wanted.
But not at all what I can have.
He turns the water off, then carries me out and sets me back on top of the toilet before wrapping a towel around me. “I’m going to get you warm clothes.” He leaves for a moment, then returns with a pair of sweats and a sweater that Anastasia brought me.
After setting them on the counter, he steps out and closes the door behind him, though I know he stays right where he can hear me.
My fingers are shaking so violently that I can barely grip the hem of the t-shirt and pull it over my body. I toss it to the floor, and it makes a loud slap. The sweatshirt is soft against my skin but offers no warmth when I put it on.
With a hand on the counter to steady me, I try to slip the shorts down.
My legs give out, and I fall over toward the side, barely catching myself on the wall.
“Are you okay?”
“Y-y-yes,” I stammer. Thankfully, the cold has numbed the pain in my leg, so with careful precision, I’m able to slip out of the shorts and pull the sweats on.
My hair is soaking wet, though, and no amount of towel drying is pushing away the chill in my bones.
“D-d-done,” I call out, afraid to move just in case I fall again.
The door slides open, and Zane moves into the small space, having already changed into a t-shirt and dry pajama pants.
With the boat rocking violently, I let him help me walk toward the bed. He’s already pulled the blankets down, and I slip inside. But even when I pull them up to my neck, I can’t stop shivering.
I bite my tongue, thanks to my chattering teeth, and my head begins to pound.
The bed dips as Zane sits down beside me, though he stays above the covers.
“H-h-how are y-y-you not c-c-cold?”
“Tolerance,” he says.
“I c-c-can’t s-s-stop.”
He lets out a low groan, then adjusts to climb beneath the covers alongside me. I turn on my side to face him, and Zane pulls me in. I bury my face in his strong chest, and his large hand rubs my arm in an attempt to create warmth through friction.
Once again, my poor decision put him in danger.
He could have drowned trying to rescue me.
Why won’t he stop following me into danger? Why won’t he just let me go?
Warmth begins to spread through my body, and the shivers fade. Every muscle in my body is tense, though, and even that is nothing compared to the exhaustion. It pulls me under, removing my ability to recognize just how dangerous this situation is for me.
Wrapped in Zane’s warm embrace, I can almost let myself believe we could have been great.
I close my eyes.
“Thank you,” I whisper as I begin to drift. “I’m sorry.”
“I will never let you suffer, Tessa,” Zane replies, his chest vibrating with each word. “I’ll always be here when you need me.”
That’s what I’m afraid of.