3. Prologue
Prologue
Gavin had been so mad about losing to Wren, again.
I wouldn’t say I enjoyed watching him lose, but man, seeing him knocked down a few pegs by a girl, no less, was pretty funny.
The craziest part, though, is that I don’t think she’s even really aware of their ‘rivalry,’ as he likes to call it.
Wren wasn’t the one glaring at him throughout the whole event, and when they won, she didn’t appear smug, even; just happy to have won, kinda.
I’d listened to my brother bitch and moan about her until I couldn’t possibly take another moment, so I left, telling him I needed a cigarette, which wasn’t a lie.
He made me want to smoke, if even just to get away from him.
So you can imagine my surprise when I walked out the back doors to find the object of his devastation alone and crying on the back steps.
Clearly, winning isn’t everything, and for a moment, I considered going back and grabbing him so he could see how human she is.
I couldn’t bring myself to do it, though.
If I brought him out here with how mad he was, all he’d do is make it worse, and by the looks of it, that’s the last thing she needed.
It felt wrong to just leave her, though.
Fuck, what’s that saying again… Curiosity killed the cat?
Yeah, I’m fucked, because not only did my curiosity get me talking to her, it got me liking her.
Which is a no for me.
I don’t have time for anything that isn’t school and Gavin, not if I want us to have a hope in hell of escaping our father and making something of this shit life.
I’ve always been good at keeping girls away, being ‘emotionally unavailable’ as they like to put it.
It wasn’t actually that at all; they just didn’t understand my not wanting a relationship, no matter how many times I said it. They always think the rules will change, that they're the one, but nothing short of fate will change that rule…
Despite my wanting it to, for once.
Fuck.
When’s the last time I liked someone, like really liked them?
Not just fucked them to chase off the loneliness, but actually enjoyed talking to them and wanted to know more.
An hour with Wren and I’m second-guessing myself. What would more time do?
Unfortunately, I’ll never get to find out.
Gavin needs me, the same way Wren needs Jordan, and while he can’t be here today and I’ve had enough of Gavin, we get to steal these brief moments.
I’m so lost in her and thoughts of her that I miss her moving until it’s too late.
Her lips brush against mine, and I feel the tether that snaps into place, stealing the air from my lungs.
I could break it.
Given the look on her face, her obvious fear of rejection, I’m almost positive she has no idea what she just did.
From the look and smell of her, she’s human, which means it wouldn’t even hurt her...
But even still, I don’t want to, not yet.
She pulls away, and I know I’ve messed up with the way her face falls. I’d been lost in the thought of tomorrow, but right now, none of that matters.
I lean in, pressing my lips to hers in a kiss much firmer than the one she brushed my lips with, and fuck, if she doesn’t melt for me.
I’ve never been one to care about control; the dynamic isn't a big deal so long as we both get off, but with Wren, it’s different.
Our link lets me feel just how much of an effect I have on her, without any kind of manipulation, without her knowing who I am or what I can do.
I’m not sure anyone has ever just been interested in me, for me.
The taste of her is delicious, like cotton candy that melts in your mouth. I want to devour her.
Unable to resist the call of her body, I pull her onto my lap so that she’s straddling me. She comes without complaint, and I hear her breath hitch when she feels just how much I’m enjoying kissing her.
Her nerves spike, but a nibble on her bottom lip pulls her attention back to what I want her focused on.
I would love nothing more than to fuck her, right here in the middle of the woods, a moment stolen, made magical in a world of pain and suffering. But I can’t. I refused to hurt her like that, and if my time with her has told me anything, it’s that while she’s been hurt, she’s also sheltered.
I’d be damn shocked if she’d ever kissed a boy, let alone slept with someone, and as much as I hate it, I know it shouldn’t be me. Not when I can’t stay, can’t be what she needs.
The thought alone makes me irrationally angry, and I have to swallow back a growl. I thread my fingers through her hair and deepen the kiss, swallowing down her moans and groaning when her hips roll almost of their own accord.
Fuck, she’s better than any drug I’ve ever had, and with this link, it’s even harder to pull away.
Her cheeks are the most beautiful shade of pink, her lips red and puffy from our kissing, and her eyes blink open slowly, as if tired, her pupils blown wide.
I could look at her all day and never get enough.
She sways slightly in my arms, and I’m reminded of another reason we can’t take this further.
“I fear I might have let you drink a little too much, Blondie.” I smile down at her, reaching out to boop her nose and watching the adorable way she goes cross-eyed, following the movement.
She shakes her head slightly and pouts.
Yeah, she’s going to have a killer headache in the morning, and not just from drinking.
“Let’s get you to bed.” I swing her up into my arms bridal style, unable to fight the smug smile that curves my lips when her arms automatically wrap around me, tucking her face into my neck.
She’s quiet just long enough that I think she might have dozed off before she speaks.
“I can walk, you know.”
I steal a glance down at her as I make it out of the woods, headed back to the doors where I found her, and find her eyes closed, face peaceful.
Nothing like the sad, crying girl she’d been not long ago.
“I have no doubt you can, Blondie.”
She makes no move to get out of my arms, though, and I sure as hell have no intention of putting her down before I have to.
I walk slowly on purpose, savoring this time, the quiet and peace before I have to walk away. Even still, we’re in the elevator before I know it.
“Which floor?”
“Third.”
I push the button and feel her nuzzle deeper into my chest, and when the doors roll open again, it feels as though the air is stolen from my lungs.
“What room?” My voice is quiet, no longer sure and steady the way it usually is, as dread fills me.
It shouldn’t be possible to feel this connected to someone I’ve only just met and honestly hated by association just hours ago.
“380,” she finally says, and I tell myself it’s because she’s also reluctant to have this night come to an end.
I don't dare pull on the link, though, fearing I’m wrong.
No, I'd much rather believe it’s hard for both of us.
I stand before her door, looking at the shiny gold numbers, unable to do anything else.
Slowly her eyes blink open to look up at me, and I swallow down the urge to kiss her again.
This will already be hard enough.
“Your room, beautiful.” I gently place her down on her feet but don’t miss the shock that's clear on her face.
How cruel the world is to have someone so genuinely beautiful, filled with doubt over a simple observation of truth.
“Thank you.” She pushes a few stray strands of hair behind her ear before sinking her teeth into her bottom lip, her eyes trained on the ground as if it's the most fascinating thing she’s ever seen.
She makes it so difficult to behave without even knowing it.
Before I can think too much about it, I reach out and pull her phone from her back pocket. I’d felt it earlier when she was on my lap, and I hadn’t thought much about it, but now...
Well, I’ve never been good at self-restraint.
She opens her mouth as if to protest before she snaps it shut when I offer the phone back to her a moment later.
My phone chimes with the message I just sent myself.
“Text me if you ever need to talk, Blondie. No need to sit alone and cry.”
She purses her lips as she takes the phone back, and I know she’s not happy about being seen like that. From everything Gavin’s told me about her, she’s tough and smart.
But you can be tough and cry; everyone needs a chance to let emotions out every once in a while.
That’s why I still sleep with people despite not wanting more—for some kind of connection, release, whatever you want to call it.
Well, that and because my beast is a horny asshole.
I lean in and press my lips to her forehead, breathing her in one last time before I turn and walk back the way I came, before I lose the little self-restraint I have.
I feel her eyes on me until I turn the corner, where I pause and wait, listening for the sound of her door clicking shut. A quick glance back confirms she’s safely back in her room, and I breathe a sigh of relief but also sadness, standing alone in the hallway for a moment to get control of myself.
With nothing else to do, I return to the room Gavin and I share. I’m not surprised he’s sleeping; it’s well past eleven, and he’d been up early to study and practice.
Not that it mattered; Wren had wiped the floor with his whole team.
Just the thought of her makes a smile pull at my lips, but I quickly bite it back. The last thing I need is Gavin asking questions. I’ve never lied to him, and I don’t intend to start now, but if he doesn’t know what to ask about, well...
That’s not on me then.
Good night Blondie.
Good night D.
Her text comes in as I lie down in bed, and I don’t fight the smile this time.