Chapter 6 – Nathan
CHAPTER 6
NATHAN
T he moment she started crying, I felt a tightness in my chest and I suddenly understood where the phrase broken heart came from. This girl wasn’t prone to theatrics– Well… besides getting a little hysterical when the plane was going down. But the tone in her voice said she had no intention of walking away and leaving her client’s friend behind to fend for herself.
Sure, I could have insisted. With the island’s "military," and likely the police, out to get us, it wouldn’t have been unreasonable to say that we needed to prioritize her safety and get the hell out of dodge while we still could. But I wasn’t about to fight her on this when she already felt like we’d brushed her off.
Jax had an excuse. He was stuck in a frozen warehouse, surrounded by bloodthirsty Russian mobsters. When she asked me to help find her client, I was just fixated on the mission’s objective which was getting her to Puerto Rico. I couldn’t stand the thought of letting her down again. Not when Smitty, Sal, and Shank were all willing to hop on the next flight out here.
I said I would keep Emma safe, and dammit, that’s what I planned to do. I would get her off this island and drop her off with Jelana. But for now, I needed to focus on the more immediate issues.
Shelter, water, and food.
"Hey, we're gonna figure this out and keep your friend safe, okay? The boys are specialists at this. There's no one better. And you and I–we've got to work our butts off out here for some basic necessities, but we've got this too. It's all coming together, even if it's a little rough. I mean, what could go wrong? No bad guys even know we're here."
A raindrop splattered right on the top of my head, and I looked up.
Isn’t that just wonderful? I wrinkled my nose, closed my eyes, and tipped my head back as thunder rumbled overhead. All at once, the rain turned on like a faucet, coming down in sheets, and just when I was sure I’d have a crying girl to console, Emma cracked up laughing.
"What could go wrong?" she mocked, using a terrible impression of my voice that made me sound like a brain-dead idiot. Practically yelling over the roar of the downpour, she exaggeratedly drawled, "What could go wroooong?" practically vomiting out her words.
Descending would have been easier if the entire mountain hadn’t turned into a giant slip-and-slide of death. The relentless rain had transformed the once-stable path into a treacherous mire, the ground beneath our feet shifting and sliding with every step. The roar of the downpour was deafening, a constant reminder of the storm's fury. Each step was a gamble, the mud sucking at our shoes, threatening to pull us down into the abyss below.
The darkness the heavy rain had brought was terrifying. Moments ago we could see the sun. Now, the only brightness came from flashes of lightning that illuminated the jagged rocks and sheer drops around us. Our clothes were soaked through, clinging to our bodies, adding to the weight we had to fight against with every movement.
My heart pounded in my chest, each beat echoing the fear that clawed at my insides. I glanced at her, seeing the same terror mirrored in her eyes, wide and reflecting the sparse light. Her breath came in ragged gasps, the effort of keeping upright and moving forward evident in every strained muscle. She stumbled, and my hand shot out, gripping her arm and pulling her back from the edge just in time.
“We can’t stay out here!” I shouted, my voice barely audible above the chaos.
Spotting the mouth of a cave a few yards ahead, I knew there wouldn’t be a better opportunity to stay dry if I searched all night. But reaching it was another matter entirely. The path to the cave was narrow, a thin strip of relatively solid ground flanked by sheer drops on either side. One wrong step, one moment of lost concentration, and we’d be tumbling into the darkness below.
Grabbing her muddy hand, I pulled her close urgently and said, “Hug the rock face. We have to make it to that cave.”
We moved together, each step deliberate and cautious. The mud was slick beneath our feet, and I could feel the cold, wet grit seeping through the soles of my shoes. The rocks we clung to crumbled easily, scraping our hands raw as we grasped tightly to whatever we could, gambling our lives with every inch of progress. Every muscle in my body was tense, coiled with the effort of maintaining balance and forward motion against the odds.
The progress to the cave seemed agonizingly slow, the distance between us and safety barely budging. The rain showed no signs of letting up. If anything, it seemed to come down harder, the force of it driving us to our knees at one particularly brutal gust. I pulled her up, my own legs trembling with the strain, as we made one last push of effort to get to the cave.
The entrance was shielded by a sheet of frothy water flowing down the mountain. If we had been any further from the entrance when the rain began, we never would have seen it.
“Just a little further,” I encouraged, though my voice was hoarse and uncertain. She nodded, her jaw set in determination, though I could see the exhaustion etched into every line of her face.
We sidestepped towards the cave’s opening, the narrow ledge crumbling under our feet in places. A chunk of the path gave way beneath her foot, and she cried out, her body lurching towards the edge. I caught her, my grip slipping in the mud, but holding onto her with everything I had.
God, I’m a creep.
I tried not to think about how good it felt to be so close to her. I was supposed to be her protector–but with this, I was barely succeeding. What an irresponsible time to be distracted by the curves of that perfect backside, the feel of her ribs under my hands as I helped steady her, the warmth she gave off making it through our wet clothes to my chest as I pulled her close.
She glanced over her shoulder at me. Something in her eyes made me feel like I wasn’t the only one.
“One misstep here, and we’re goners,” I muttered, more to myself than to her. The reality of our situation hit hard as I felt her whole body trembling.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, we reached the mouth of the cave. I pushed myself under the waterfall first, then reached back a hand to pull her in. She tucked her face into the bend of her arm. Water rushed over her head as she stepped into the cool, still air of the cave.
The shelter provided immediate, if minimal, relief from the storm. We collapsed against the cold stone, our breaths coming in ragged, uneven bursts. My heart still hammered in my chest, the adrenaline refusing to dissipate even in the relative safety of the cave.
“We made it,” she whispered, her voice shaky but relieved.
“For now,” I replied, staring out into the storm, knowing that the danger was far from over.
“Well, I guess we’ll have all the water we need to drink and wash up.”
I glanced down at my body. I was covered not just in mud, but little rocks and sticks... is that moss? I peeled off my cold, wet shirt and emptied my pants pockets. My nipples felt so hard from the cold that they actually hurt. It felt like a step in the wrong direction, but I knew if I didn't clean off, there was no way I'd ever be able to get a minute of sleep. I stepped back out into the pouring rain, ringing out my shirt in the rain several times in hopes of washing out as much sweat and mud as I could. I peeled off my pants to repeat the process, nearly tripping over myself as they clung to my ankles.
Stripped down to my undies, I tilted back my head, closed my eyes, and stretched out my arms, the rain beating against my bare skin with thousands of delicate stings. Feeling as close to God as one ever could, I opened my mouth and tasted fresh water from above. Satisfied, I turned to my still dirty arms and...jeez. Everything. I rubbed rainwater across my forearms, releasing the debris stuck to me. Head to toe, I brushed off all that I could, scrubbing as though I was using soap, but using only rain water.
Realizing I was as clean as I was going to get, I gathered up my two wads of clothing and headed back inside.
“God, be careful what you wish for, right?” Emma pulled her thick dark hair down from its bun to squeeze the water out of it. “We can die from dehydration and drowning at the same time. Best. Day. Ever.”
"Don't forget sliding to our deaths, covered in mud and full of bugs."
"At least we had desert, right?"
"Riiight..." I sarcastically replied as I plopped my two bits of clothing on a clean-ish rock.
She sat down, and I walked further back into the cave, using my lighter to see if any animals might be sharing a home with us for the night. Luckily, it wasn’t very deep, and nothing seemed to live in here with us. At least, not recently.”
Inspecting our new shelter, I found some dry branches and twigs for a fire to dry our clothes and ourselves. Eventually, this rain will break, and putting back on wet clothes sounds truly awful.
Breaking all the wood into manageable pieces, I crouched to see if I could build us a fire. Taking my socks and spreading them out, I turned around to suggest she do the same to find her stripping down to her bra and panties.
“Oh–” I raised one hand and turned around. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize...”
“Calm down, sailor.” She shook her pants and shirt, spreading them out on a boulder. “I’ll keep my panties on. I’m just tired of feeling like a drowned cat. And if you apologize to me one more time, I’ll thump you right between the eyes.”
Assured she didn't see me as some sort of peeping Tom, I tried to relax. We're just two innocent survivors doing what they must to make it out alive . The fact that a beautiful woman wearing nothing but two ounces of wet cloth in front of me with a body begging to be warmed by my hands isn't a sexy sort of thing...it's just...platonic survival stuff.
My gaze traveled down her body and the full curves of her breasts, her cold nipples pushing against her bra, the toned shape of her hips. Fuck… Stop staring. What’s wrong with you! Jax’s baby sister, remember? I shook myself back to reality . Platonic thoughts. Platonic thoughts. Platoooniiiiic thoughts. The throbbing below my waist started making itself obvious, and a wave of panic set in.
“I’m–” I started to apologize, but one look from her and I pressed my lips together. “I’m just gonna sit down over here.” ...a nd hide my raging erection.
I walked over to the mouth of the cave and sat down to look out at the rain, keeping my back to her, propping my arms on my knees, and repeating a mantra that was completely new to me: I promised to Jax that I'd keep my hands off his gorgeous, vulnerable, mostly naked sister. A promise is a promise. A promise is a promise...
After setting her socks by the fire, she came over and sat down next to me.
“For someone who’s been mostly shirtless for the last twelve hours, you sure are squeamish.” She nudged me with her elbow and glanced over to find that she had her shirt back on. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
I touched her elbow lightly to prompt her to hold up the bloody spot so I could see.
“I think you’ll be okay, but we’re better safe than sorry.”
I glanced at my leg, wondering how my wound was coming along. The bandages were dark brown with blood, but the patch had mostly held. I slowly peeled the blood and water-soaked bandaids off, careful not to re-open it.
I half expected jungle bugs or rocks to be jammed under the bandages, but it was just wrinkly skin from being wet too long and a surprising lack of debris or signs of infection.
Halle-fukin-lujah.
Her big green eyes were almost cartoonish as she watched me patch myself back up with fresh bandaids.
Something stirred inside me that I couldn’t quite define. It lingered just beneath the haze of lust left over from that kiss. It was something scarier and more exhilarating than anything I’d experienced in a long time. I'm used to fellow soldiers looking after me–as I do in return. But there was something about Emma caring about whether or not I was suffering that just hit a bit differently.
The rain had washed away most of her makeup, and her freckles showed through. Somehow, that made her even more beautiful than she’d been with her fancy winged eyeliner. Those perfectly kissable lips taunted me with the soft, succulent memory of how they felt against mine. I struggled not to imagine relieving her curves of the wet clothes clinging to them.
“How are your, um, feet?” I asked.
“Wow… It’s like that, huh?” She flashed an awkward smile. “I didn’t peg you for one of those foot guys .”
“No,” I laughed. “Jesus woman, you’re killing me here.” I wiggled my bare toes in front of me and gestured to them. “You have to take care of your feet when you’re in the wilderness. They’re the only thing that can get you where you want to go, and, no joke, foot-rot can be a real bitch when you’re traveling in wet conditions.”
“Foot-WHAT-the-HELL did you just say?” She hastily pulled her shoes off, wincing as she spotted blood on her light blue socks. “Oh shit!”
“It’s alright.” I reached out and carefully rolled her sock down as she sucked air through her teeth. “We’ve only been out here for a day.”
“I didn’t even realize I was bleeding.” She grimaced. “Don’t let my feet rot off, please. I have a really amazing shoe collection, but I didn’t keep any receipts.”
Her dark sense of humor couldn’t have been more charming.
“It’s just blisters.” I chuckled, pulling off her other sock. “And I’m not uncomfortable, for the record. I’m just trying to be respectful.”
“Well, we’ve been through a lot and I’d say we’re friends at this point, so you don’t have to try quite so hard.”
Friends? Just hearing that word on her lips was depressing.
Her green eyes pulled me in like two magnets a hairwidth apart. My gaze fixed on the subtle smile hiding at the corners of her oh-so-delicious-looking lips.
“So…” She cleared her throat. “I feel like I need to get to know you for real now since you were playing a part before.”
“I wasn’t playing anything.” I picked up a pebble and fidgeted with it. “Maybe I should have been more upfront, is all.”
“Definitely not.” Her eyebrows scrunched together. “If you walked up to me at the bar and said that Jax sent you to bring me back to Puerto Rico, I would have told you to get bent.”
I laughed.
“I’m glad I waited, then.”
“As awkward as it was to find out the guy I brought home was my brother’s spy, I’m glad you did too.” Her expression grew serious. “Those two...goons would have...”
She paused as the reality of how close she was to death, no doubt replayed in her mind.
“Well, with your job… I’m sure many people wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”
“Awww.” Her tone was sarcastic, but she blushed. “Plus, I mean… If you’d told me who you were right from the beginning, we wouldn’t have made out either, and that wasn’t terrible .”
“Oh, it wasn’t?” I raised my eyebrows, trying not to laugh. “Glad it wasn’t terrible.”
“It was okay .” She shrugged. “Three out of five stars. Needs improvement, but shows potential.”
We both cracked up until our laughter gave way to a tense silence, and we looked at each other.
At that moment, my mantra was way past forgotten.
Her wet, wavy tendrils of hair begged me to reach out and touch them as she pulled her hair behind one ear, looked down, and smiled sheepishly.
I had to clench my fists to just keep myself from doing it.
“I think it was really brave of you…” I swallowed hard. “To put that woman’s safety before your own. Most people wouldn’t have done that.”
“I couldn’t have lived with myself if I hadn’t.” She looked out at the rain and then back at me.
When you’ve had as many brushes with death as I have, you get a real sense of when a moment is about to pass you by.
I’d never met a woman like her, and I knew I never would again.
The world outside was a chaotic mess, but in this cave, with Emma, everything else faded away.
The deafening sound of the rain pounding against the rocks receded into the background, becoming a distant, soothing hum.
"Emma," I said, my voice barely above a whisper, yet it felt like it reverberated through the cavern.
She looked up at me, her eyes reflecting a mix of fear, relief, and something else—something deeper.
Her cheeks were flushed, whether from the cold or something more, I couldn’t tell.
I reached out, my hand trembling slightly as I ran my finger across her temple, tucking the last stray tendril of hair behind her ear. The touch sent a shiver down my spine, and I let my hand rest against the cool nape of her neck.
Her soft skin contrasts so brutally against the roughness of our ordeal. She didn't pull away; instead, her eyes widened slightly, filled with a vulnerable openness that took my breath away.
Every detail of her face seemed to come alive in the blue twilight of the fading sun filtering into the cave. Her eyelashes, still heavy with rain, blinked in what felt like slow motion. She was like some kind of angel, ethereal and breathtaking. It would be a mortal sin not to kiss her. My futile attempt to suppress this undeniable natural force drawing us together was utterly pointless.
She leaned in, her warm breath mingling with mine, and softly grazed her nose against mine. The intimacy of the gesture made my heart race, each beat echoing the intensity of the moment. There was a hesitation, a fleeting second where doubt crept in—what if this wasn’t what she wanted? What if I misread the signals? But then she closed her eyes, and I knew.
I pressed my lips to hers, slowly, deliberately, not like before.
This kiss was different, charged with the electricity of everything we’d been through. The taste of her was intoxicating, a blend of rain and something uniquely her.
My hands moved to cradle her face, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath my fingertips.
She responded in kind, her lips parting slightly, inviting me in as her hands wrapped around my back, exciting skin that had only ever known physical pain.
The kiss deepened, and the world around us completely dissolved. There was nothing but the sensation of her lips, the softness, the urgency. Her hands gripped my back muscles as if anchoring herself to this moment.
The cave walls, the relentless planning of our survival, the storm outside...everything but Emma faded away.
Our breaths mingled, each exhale a shared whisper of need. The kiss broke, and we lingered, our foreheads resting against each other, catching our breath. Her eyes opened, and she smiled, a shy, almost disbelieving smile as she bit her lip, her cheeks now a deeper shade of pink.
“Not terrible?” I whispered, my voice rough with emotion.
“Not terrible,” she replied, her voice a soft, breathless laugh.
We sat there, her arm draped around mine, the storm outside our cave a distant concern. In this moment, we're the only two people in the world. The fear, the danger, the uncertainty—they all melted away, leaving behind only the undeniable connection between us. We were breathless, both from the intensity of the kiss and the realization of what it meant.
I pulled her closer, feeling the rise and fall of her chest against mine. For the first time in a long time, everything felt right. And as we sat there, holding each other, I knew that whatever lay ahead, we would face it together.
But the sounds of the storm snuck back into my consciousness.
The cold dampness of whipped up mist from the cave's waterfall entrance cooled my face. Cold water droplets hung to my flesh, dripping down my arms, reminding me I was here on earth and not in heaven.
As euphoric as our embrace had been, my mantra again echoed, I promised... I promised...
I had just betrayed the best friend I've ever had .
My word to a fellow brother-in-arms truly means nothing.
Dread firmly took hold of me.
Ella, no doubt feeling my shift in mood, pulled her arm off mine and sat more upright. The inch between us felt like a mile.
Her smile faded and it physically hurt when she got up and went back to lay down by the fire.
A deep ache invaded my chest.
I'm no stranger to keeping my emotions in check. It's part of the job and always will be. But as my attention shifted to my responsibilities for our survival, my duties as a protector— from any threats, including myself—responsible soldier Nathan returned for duty.
"We really should try and get some rest if you can,” I said, my voice steadier than I felt.
She looked at me with those eyes that seemed to see right through to my soul, and I felt a pang of something I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in a long time. Vulnerability. I’d never met a woman whose heart I didn’t break, and for the first time, I was determined that wasn’t going to happen here.
She may be under my skin like no one before, but a life with me is no life at all. The constant danger, the unending uncertainty—it wasn’t fair to drag her into that. I knew it, and deep down, she probably did too. Jax knows it. So do I. From here on out, I needed to keep it friendly. Platonic… No matter what.
As she settled down, trying to find a comfortable position on the rocky cave floor, I couldn’t help but watch her, my heart aching with the weight of unspoken words.
Her presence had become a light in the dark, something I found myself craving despite knowing I shouldn’t.
I turned my back to her, forcing my thoughts to focus on the practicalities of our situation: the storm outside, the need for rest, the plan for tomorrow.
“Goodnight, Emma,” I said softly, more to myself than to her.
“Goodnight, Nathan,” she replied, her voice carrying a hint of the same hesitation and unspoken feelings that churned inside me.
I lay down, the cold, hard ground doing little to ease the tension in my body. Sleep didn’t come easily. Instead, I stared at the cave’s ceiling, listening to the rhythmic patter of the rain, letting it drown out the conflicting emotions that threatened to overwhelm me.
I must be in a half-dream state, unable to control my thoughts. For the first time in a long while, I allowed myself to hope—hope that maybe, just maybe, we could find a way out of this chaos together .
I imagined waking up to her smile every morning, not worrying about the next mission or whether I'd make it back. I hoped for a life where the adrenaline of combat was replaced by the simple joy of being with her, where laughter replaced the constant edge of danger, and love was something I could finally let in, not keep at arm's length.
But as much as I wanted to believe that was possible, reality's a harsh drill sergeant. Reality demands I keep my distance, for both our sakes.
In the cave's dim light, I vowed to myself that I would protect her, even if it meant protecting her from me. The night wore on, the storm outside showing no signs of abating. I finally closed my eyes, steeling myself for the challenges that lay ahead, determined to keep the lines clear and the boundaries firm.
Platonic… No matter what.