Chapter 1 #2
Turning his attention from Lucas to Seamus, Todd said, “Can you tell your parents that you’re not interested in getting married?”
“Oh, I’ve told them that. Repeatedly.” At thirty-six years old, everyone Seamus had grown up with had been married for at least a decade. “My, uh, family’s different.”
“What do you mean different?”
“It’s hard to explain if you don’t have any experience with it.”
“I have experience with all sorts of things.” Lucas lifted the toothpick from his glass and sucked off the olives. “Hit me with it.”
He couldn’t help but smile at the sass coming from the man who lived on a farm but still dressed like he was in Beverly Hils.
“My ancestors originally came to America from Ireland along with a bunch of other families. They settled in the same town outside of Boston, spent all their time together, and eventually they formed a… group of sorts.” People in the area sometimes called them a cult, but it wasn’t like that.
They didn’t have an all-powerful leader or a belief in a sacred deity.
They just stuck together very, very tightly and they weren’t open to outsiders.
“In a lot of ways, it’s great. They support one another.
They frequent each other’s businesses. Holidays are always fun with lots of gatherings.
Growing up, we all went to the same schools, played sports together, belonged to the same clubs, ate at the same places.
The town’s about the size of Hope and everyone who lives there is in the community.
It’s like having a really, really big family. ”
“That sounds nice,” Todd said. “Really nice.”
“It is. Unless you don’t want to follow the rules. They’re extremely insular and obsessed with family. The expectation is that you get married young and you do it from within. I had to move all the way across the country to escape that fate.”
“You aren’t allowed to be single?” Todd asked.
“I mean, you can try. But you won’t hear the end of it.
” Seamus picked up a cleaning cloth and started wiping the bar, just to have something to occupy his hands.
“At first, it wasn’t that bad. I wasn’t quite nineteen when I moved to Hope and my family thought I was being rebellious, and I’d get it out of my system and come home after a few months.
Then a few months turned into a few years, and they were mostly okay because I was so young.
But when I was nearing my mid-twenties, they’d had enough. ”
“What did they do?” Lucas asked. “Threaten to cut you off?”
“They can’t do that or maybe they would,” Seamus said, mostly kidding.
His parents loved him and didn’t want him to suffer, which was why they relentlessly tried to marry him off.
In their minds, he couldn’t be happy if he wasn’t married.
More specifically, he couldn’t be happy if he wasn’t married to one of them.
“But what they can do is find me a wife. They used to spring a fiancé on me every time I went back to visit.”
“Uh, what?” Todd’s eyes were wide.
“It was wild.” Seamus shook his head. “I’d go home for a holiday and there’d be a woman there who thought we’d be getting married.
Sometimes they’d have wedding dresses to show me.
My parents set it up with her parents and everyone thought that made perfect sense.
Like I’d meet her, and bing bang boom, I’d get married just to go along with it. ”
“That’s absurd.”
“They mean well, really, but yeah, it is.” He nodded in agreement.
“I told them there was absolutely no way I’d ever move back there.
That Hope is my home. That helped because most of the people in the community won’t leave the town let alone the county.
Moving out of state is unheard of. Coming all the way to Arizona just doesn’t happen.
So the prospects dried up and I had some peace. ”
“What changed?”
“I don’t know. The community’s gotten bigger so there’re more options.
People who haven’t gotten married by this age and want to are getting desperate.
There are a couple of widows, and I’ve even heard about a divorcee or two, which is really unusual in the community and explains why they’re being so flexible.
Either that or maybe my parents are panicking so they’re trying harder.
” He tossed the cloth over his shoulder.
“Whatever the reason, they keep finding women who’ll agree to move here and they insist I marry them.
Every time I talk to them, I can’t escape the topic.
I’m terrified of what’s waiting for me when I get there. ”
“Why don’t you tell them you already have a girlfriend?” Todd suggested.
“What girlfriend?” Lucas scoffed. “Palmela Wrighthand or Palmela Handerson from Canada?”
“I thought her name was Laura.” Todd frowned. “Who’s Pamela?”
“It was a play on words,” Lucas said. “Who the fuck is Laura?”
Seamus shrugged because he didn’t have a girlfriend and never had. He wasn’t lying to his parents when he said he wasn’t interested.
“You know, Laura.”
“Uh, no, we don’t.” Lucas swept his hand between himself and Seamus.
“She works here sometimes. Blonde hair. Laura,” Todd insisted.
“Oh, right.” Seamus nodded. “Laura Wearing. She’s one of the bartenders who comes in on busy nights or if I can’t work. I’m not dating her.”
“Oh. I guess I assumed because of how she is with you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Never mind.” Todd shook his head.
“One time, I tried making up a girlfriend, but they lost their minds because she wasn’t from the community and they insisted on meeting her.
They said they’d accept a video call immediately, but I’d need to bring her for an in-person visit quickly.
I’m assuming so they could scare her off.
” He shook his head. “It was hopeless, so I told them we broke up. I’m sure my parents are planning my wedding as we speak, and I’ll have to spend my entire vacation letting them and my not-future bride down easy. ”
“I have a solution,” Lucas said, voice haughty. He picked up his glass and tipped it against his mouth.
“What’s your solution?”
“My brilliance doesn’t come free.” He pushed his empty glass toward Seamus. “Get me a refill and cover our tab and I’ll tell you.”
He took Lucas’s glass, put it in the dirty bin, and got to work making him a fresh martini. “I’ve been at this for eighteen years. There’s nothing you can suggest that I haven’t already tried,” he said over his shoulder.
“Then take the deal. If you don’t use my idea, I’ll pay for our drinks.”
“I can pay for my own beer, Seamus,” Todd said. “Lucas, stop it. This is his livelihood.”
“He isn’t hurting for cash, and we agreed that tonight’s my treat,” Lucas said. “That means I’m paying for your drinks, which means Seamus is paying for your drinks in exchange for my genius plan.”
If nothing else, Lucas’s idea would be amusing. “Fine,” he said as he set Lucas’s martini in front of him. “What’s your idea?”
“Tell them you’re gay. If they have trouble finding a woman in that group of yours who’s willing to move to Hope, not a chance in hell they’ll find you a man to marry.”