Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
APOLLO
Ifrown in her direction as she calmly walks into the woods.
How dare she call me selfish? I was here because I was protecting Indy. He never would have gotten a woman as beautiful as her to marry him if we had been a package deal, I’m sure of it.
When I realize she isn’t coming back, I return my gaze to the now burning meat, pulling it from the flames and thinking how it resembles our situation here.
Quickly going up in flames. Where was Indy?
If she wasn’t here to take care of, I would go out and look for him, but he could be anywhere out there.
He may be close to finishing the desert crossing by now, for all I knew.
Had he really been searching for me all this time?
Had she really offered to help him look?
How much did he tell her? I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my distance from her since she arrived.
Not wanting her to see my flaws and associate them with my twin.
But somehow I’d shown her the worse possible version of myself.
What had I just said to her? I called her a burden, said I couldn’t believe Indy would be with her.
But I didn’t mean any of it. I just wanted to push her away, so I said whatever I could.
But the moment those words left my mouth, I regretted it.
She tried to hide it, but I saw how much I hurt her.
And when she told me about Indy looking for me and her helping, well, now I feel even worse.
I had gone about this all wrong. If Indy showed up now, and saw how I had been treating his wife, he would kick my ass, and I would let him.
“Fuck,” I grumble as I stand up. I have to go find her and apologize.
I stalk in the direction she went, keeping my eyes open for her. After twenty minutes, I’ve found no sign of her and start to worry. She wouldn’t walk into the desert, would she? Even if she was really upset, she must know she can’t survive out there, she already got lost once.
But as I move through my oasis towards the southern side, I hear the distinct noise of her crying. Fuck, I really am a selfish asshole.
I see the back of her peeking out from the base of a palm at the very edge of the tree line facing the desert. I can see her body shaking as she buries her face in her hands. I watch her for a moment, feeling like the asshole I am, not sure what to say or do.
After a minute, I take a seat on the ground beside her, stretching my legs out in front of me as I lean back on my hands and look out at the desert.
I hear her let out a small gasp of surprise, but she doesn’t move.
She tries to wipe her face, but I don’t look at her.
I can’t. Seeing her so upset because of me, it’s not something I’m prepared to feel.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. She doesn’t say anything, and I don’t blame her. I take a deep breath before I continue. “First, I need you to know I don’t believe any of the things I said to you.”
“Then why did you say them? You must believe them on some level, they came from somewhere, Apollo,” she says angrily.
“No, that’s the thing, the things I said, they weren’t about you. You were right, I don’t even know you. They were about someone I knew a long time ago. I haven’t been around a woman in a long time and I guess I unfairly judged you based on my past.”
“You were talking about Caroline,” she states, making me turn my face to her in surprise. She looks at me with red eyes. She looks exhausted. I search her gaze for judgment. If she knew about Caroline… How much did she know?
She seems to understand my questioning look as she nods, turning her gaze back to the desert. “Yeah, he told me about her.”
When she doesn’t elaborate, I find myself asking, “What did he tell you?”
She shrugs. “He didn’t go into detail, but told me how you all met, got along, thought you could build a life together.
” She turns her face back to me and I see her features soften.
“How you used your magic to save her horses and their families’ livelihood, and how she turned on you.
” Her face turns angry. Is she thinking about my magic?
“When Indy told me the story, I felt so angry for you.”
“For me?” I ask in surprise.
She nods, continuing. “To think she could treat you like that, when you should have been praised as a hero…” Hero? I stare at her in shock. “But I think Indy is glad that she showed her true colors before you guys committed to her. He would choose you over her, you know?”
I nod. I did know, that’s why I left. She seems to read my mind as she whispers, “But you already knew that. It’s why you’re out here, isn’t it? You feel like you’re a burden to him.” I stare at her as I grind my jaw in frustration.
“Not a burden.” I correct her. “I was holding him back.”
“He doesn’t think so, and neither do I. He needs you, Apollo. You’re his twin, his other half. I know you feel his absence every day.”
I look down at her as I whisper, “How can you know that?”
“I feel it too, I had a twin brother. He died a long time ago, and I miss him every day.” I stare at her in surprise. She’s a twin too? I couldn’t imagine the pain of losing Indy completely.
“I’m sorry you lost him.”
“Thanks,” she whispers, looking away.
She has revealed so much in the past hour, I’m not even sure which part to focus on. I have so many more questions for her. Does she not hate magic? How did her twin die? What was she doing in the desert? Would she ever forgive me?
But as I go to ask her one of those important questions, I surprise myself by asking something completely different. “Will you sleep in my bed tonight?”
She turns to me with her eyebrows raised in surprise, trying to read my face. I feel a little desperate, and the thought of her sleeping on the ground again kills me.
“I won’t sleep there while you sleep on the ground.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes, okay, we’ll both sleep in the bed, it’s big enough for two.”
She searches my face for a minute before she answers, “If you’re sure…”
“I am.”
“Okay, then,” she says and I stand up and offer her my hand. She takes it and I pull her to feet. I find myself not wanting to let go of her hand as I lead her back to my cave. I eventually let go so I can get ready for bed and watch as she slips her shoes off and climbs under the blanket.
I pull my shirt over my head and watch as she gulps, her tongue peeking out to lick her lower lip.
Does she like what she sees? My chest is covered in scars, but she doesn’t look repulsed.
I turn away as I slip my shoes and pants off, left only in my tight boxers.
I turn around and she immediately averts her gaze, like she hadn’t been watching me. Interesting…
I move around the bed and climb in beside her, being careful not to touch her and make her uncomfortable. She is a married woman after all, married to my brother…
We lay there in silence, staring at the cave ceiling. After a while, I’m not sure if she is still awake or not as I whisper, “I’m sorry I’m an asshole, Angel.”
Her hand slips into mine, giving it a small squeeze. She says nothing, but that action helps ease the tension that had been building around us and I’m able to fall asleep clutching her hand in mine.
I slowly open my eyes, feeling warm and cozy. What was that delectable smell? I inhale, pressing my nose into the pillow and inhaling deeply. It smells like some sort of flower. I slowly blink my eyes open and see a mass of red hair.
Angel… I seem to have wrapped myself around her at some point during the night. Fuck, first I’m cruel to her, then convince her to innocently share my bed, then I practically maul her in her sleep.
My arm and leg are wrapped around her, like my body didn’t want to risk her leaving during the night.
I slowly pull my limbs back, hoping she doesn’t wake and see what I did in my sleep.
Luck is on my side as I climb out of bed and pull on my clothes, glancing at her closed eyes.
I let go of the breath I was holding and get started on the fire and breakfast.
As I work, I think about everything that happened yesterday.
I can’t believe I spoke to her like that.
I feel like an absolute asshole. If she was my mate, and Indy had spoken to her like that, I would beat the living shit out of him.
Had he really spent the past nine years looking for me?
I’m a terrible brother, I should have checked in with him.
I was just afraid he’d convince me to stay, and I’d always feel like I was holding him back from meeting someone amazing, someone like her.
I glance over at the angel in my bed and grow more curious about her.
She mentioned my magic like it was something to be praised, not cursed.
The only person to ever treat me like that was Indy.
She said they were going to come and find me, but why?
To make sure I was still alive? I had so many questions, but with the silent treatment I had given her for the past few days, I knew it wouldn’t be fair to bombard her with all my questions.
Maybe I could figure out a way for us to get to know each other. I need to make a better effort with her, both for her and Indy’s sake.
When breakfast is cooking, she stirs and slowly crawls out of bed, making her way over to the fire. I can see her glancing nervously at me before she moves to sit in her usual spot across from me.
“Good morning, will you come sit beside me? Please,” I motion to the rock beside me, trying to give her a smile. But it feels foreign on my lips.
“Oh… okay.” She pauses for a moment, looking surprised before she schools her expression and sits beside me.
Why is talking to her so hard? I’m so afraid to fuck everything up by saying the wrong thing. I really don’t want to make her cry again.