Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
Pandora rolled right into a solid mass. She stiffened. Her mind was filled with cobwebs. Her head throbbed. Her stomach sloshed.
“Good morning,” a familiar husky voice said.
She groaned, vaguely remembering Blaze coming home last night to her drunken stupor. She pulled the covers over her head as she tried to piece together the events of the evening.
“Oh God,” she mumbled.
The memory of him holding her hair back as she puked her guts out in the toilet, twice, flashed through her mind. After she was done, he gently lifted her off the floor and carried her to bed.
She glanced under the sheets.
He’d removed her clothes and now all she had on was a flimsy bra and thong.
“I’m so embarrassed,” she managed to croak out.
“That’s what you get for drinking half a bottle of tequila.” He tugged at the comforter. “Here’s some water. Drink it. You need it.”
“Why are you in here and please tell me nothing happened.” She sat up a little and guzzled the much-needed aqua.
“Other than listening to you snore half the night, not a thing.” He chuckled.
“So not funny.”
“It kind of is.” He fluffed the pillow and sat up, showing off his chiseled chest with all the scars.
“You slept in here all night?” She wrapped the sheet around her body and leaned back, right into his arm, and he pulled her to his body.
Jerk.
But it felt nice. Warm. Safe.
“You asked me to. Actually, begged.”
“I did no such… okay. Maybe I did.” She snuggled into the comfort of his embrace. “I guess I should say thank you for taking care of me.”
“You were a bit of a hot mess when I got home.” Again, the man chuckled.
She poked his chest.
“Ouch.” He took her hand and kissed it.
“It’s not nice to laugh at someone as hungover as I am. I feel like I rose from the dead, only to die a slow, painful death again.”
“I bet you do.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “As soon as I got home, you laid into me about my meeting and demanded I tell you all about it. When I said we’d talk in the morning, you called me all sorts of names, then we had the vomiting issue.”
“Yeah. I remember.” She sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ve been out of sorts with Sully’s return and I know all about Rocky and Ethan’s plan.”
“You do?”
“Oh yeah. They told Greg about it a few months back and he brought it to me, begging me not to go along with it.”
Blaze lifted her chin with his index finger. “What are your thoughts on it?”
“It’s so outrageous it’s brilliant. It’s also kind of what they did to help Haven. I mean, I get it’s a tactic. And if I don’t do it, Sully will rape someone else. I can’t let that happen. I won’t. But it’s not easy to get my head out of my ass and follow through.”
“I don’t like the plan.”
“It’s not for you to decide.”
He pressed his mouth over hers in a sweet, gentle kiss. It was kind and caring and she cherished it.
“I know,” he whispered. “But you won’t be in this alone. I ran into Sully last night and I made this our fight.”
“You did what?” She jerked, which was a mistake. Her head felt as though a bomb had exploded. She rubbed her temples. “What on earth did you do?”
“I went on the offense, like I said we needed to. I pushed his buttons. I made it clear I knew what he did and that he would pay. I made him an enemy of mine. That way, he’ll want to come for me too. It’s the only way I can completely protect you.”
“Jesus, Blaze. I’m not sure?—”
He hushed her with a kiss. “Do you want to end this and live your life?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m going to keep at him, and so are you. The faster we get him to snap, the quicker this ends.”
Which meant, the quicker Blaze was out of her life.
She wasn’t sure that’s what she wanted, but it was what Blaze did and she was going to have to let him go.
“Okay,” she said.
“Why don’t I go draw you a bath and make you some greasy hangover food. The guys are keeping tabs on Sully. Once we know where he’s hanging out today, if you’re seriously up for it, we’ll go where he is, and we’ll get this party started.”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re getting off on this.”
“I take no pleasure in doing anything that causes you pain, but I will take a whole lot of pleasure in putting that man in prison.” Blaze swung his legs to the side of the bed and stood, in only his boxers.
Damn.
He strolled across the room, his thigh muscles flexing with each step. He pushed open the bathroom door and glanced over his shoulder. “What bottle makes the bubbles?”
“The big one on the side of the tub. All you have to do is give it a couple of squirts.”
“Got it.”
The only thing she got was she wanted that man. In the worst way. Even if it was only one more time. He’d been her first. And the best. Sure, other men had been good lovers. Greg had been attentive and really good in bed. She’d never not been satisfied.
But he wasn’t Blaze.
No one was.
She eased from the bed and padded to the bathroom. If he didn’t want her, then so be it. She wasn’t going to throw herself at him, but she’d give him the opportunity to make a move.
He sat on the edge of the tub with his hand in the water, waving it around, making bubbles. Glancing over his shoulder, his jaw slacked open. “Jesus, put some clothes on.”
“No. I want in that bath.”
“It’s not quite ready yet.” He blinked.
“There’s water. And bubbles. It looks good enough for me.” She raised her hands and unclasped her bra, letting it drop to the floor.
He jumped to his feet, turning his head. “Christ, Pandora. You’re going to be the death of me.”
She shimmied out of her panties and curled her fingers around his forearm as she climbed into the tub. “God, that feels so good.” There wasn’t quite enough water or bubbles to cover her body, but she didn’t care. It was kind of the point.
“You’re killing me here.” He stared at her with wide eyes.
Lamely, she took some bubbles and attempted to cover her breasts. “Can you hand me that loofah?”
“Loofah? What the hell is that?”
“The thing hanging on the handle.”
“Oh. Yeah. Sure.”
He reached down, snagged it, and tossed it in the water.
“Thanks.” She sat up, reaching for the loofah, exposing herself.
“Do you have no shame, woman?”
“I’m too fucking hungover to care.” She leaned back.
“I’ll go make some grub. Will you be well enough to eat it in the kitchen?” He planted his hands on his hips, still staring.
“No. Bring it back to the bedroom.”
“You’re seriously trying to kill me,” he mumbled before he turned and marched out of the bathroom.
Well, she tried.
But truth be told, she wasn’t sure if she’d even be able to handle him with the way she felt. She wasn’t even sure if she could handle breakfast. What she wanted was some of the hair that bit the dog. However, all of that was an excuse not to leave the house. Not to deal with Sully or what happened.
Only, she had to.
Living in fear was no life at all.
She’d given Sully too much power and it was time to take it back.
Blaze burned his fingers twice while making a couple of egg sandwiches. Sleeping next to Pandora all night had been both easy and difficult. Comfortable and excruciatingly painful. She’d been drunk out of her mind. Mumbling about things that made no sense at all.
And yet he understood every word.
Every emotion.
But what had sucker punched him in the gut was her confession.
It wasn’t as if she hadn’t said it before.
Hell, he’d even admitted it.
They both had always cared about each other. That had never changed. They had walked through life pining for the one that got away. They had never let go of the love they had once shared.
But for him, it was a love he couldn’t have. Not anymore.
However, for her, it was the love she craved. Needed. Desired.
He could no longer be that man. Not for anyone. Not even for her. It didn’t matter that he could admit he still had love in his heart.
Maybe if he’d managed to run into her before Axel died, but his death had changed everything.
He lifted the tray off the counter and meandered back to the bedroom. He set the food on the bed, climbed in, and found the remote for the television. “Breakfast is ready,” he shouted.
“I’ll be right out.”
He turned the TV on to a national news channel and leaned back, stretching out his legs.
She appeared wearing only a towel.
Gripping the sheets, he watched as she pranced in front of the bed, gently opened a drawer, and pulled out a T-shirt. She yanked it over her head and let the towel pool at her feet, showing off her rounded ass.
He groaned.
He should look away, but he couldn’t.
It got worse when she bent over and hiked up a tiny thong, wiggling her adorable butt.
He swallowed. Hard.
She climbed onto the bed and lifted one of the sandwiches between her delicate fingers and took a small bite between her delectable, kissable lips.
“You’re staring.” She licked her fingers.
“I’m a man and you’ve been half-naked—or naked—around me for hours. What do you expect me to do?”
She shrugged.
“You’re doing it on purpose,” he said behind a tight jaw.
“The invitation is there. It’s yours for the taking.” She took another bite. Only, a piece of bacon hung on the corner of her mouth, taunting him, begging him to lick it off.
He leaned forward and did exactly that. “Don’t be a tease.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game.”
“I’m not playing games, Blaze.” She cocked her head. “It’s just sex. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
“When it comes to you, it’s a whole lot more and you know it.”
She rolled her eyes. “No. It’s not. When all of this with Sully is over, you’re leaving. I know that.”
He opened his mouth, but she covered it with her hand. “I wasn’t so drunk last night that I don’t remember what I said. Yes, I still have feelings for you and yes, I always will. But you are not the same man I fell in love with twenty years ago and I’m different too. What we had can never be recreated and I’m not trying to do that. I’m living in the moment and I’d like you to consider that maybe I need this. That maybe this will give me a little strength and courage. Perhaps it’s not right to use you this way and I’ll understand if you say no. But it’s not about you and me. Or whatever we had together. It’s about getting me through to the other side.”
“I don’t want to hurt you and that’s what I’m afraid I’ll do.” He lifted the tray and set it on the floor. A million and one reasons why he shouldn’t do this raced through his brain. He could handle hurt. He could handle the pain of leaving her again. His heart was already broken. But could she? If he knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was truly her using him to heal, he’d have no problem with it.
Sex for him was an act of physical pleasure. One that he normally could take or leave, and lately, he’d been leaving it. He hadn’t had sex in months and until he saw Pandora, he hadn’t missed it all that much.
“How can you hurt me when I don’t want you for anything other than a good time?” She toyed with the hem of her shirt, slowly raising it over her head and tossing it to the floor. “No offense, but regardless of how I feel, I would never want to be with a man who doesn’t want the same things I do. I was already in one marriage that was lopsided. I wouldn’t want it in reverse.”
“It’s hard to say no to that logic.” He traced her jawline with his finger, running it down to one of her nipples. It tightened under his touch. He remembered the first time they had been together. It had been her first time and he worried so much he’d hurt her. He had wanted so badly for it to be good for her that he’d been awkward and clunky at first.
But she’d wanted him and she guided him through it as if it had been his first time.
He leaned forward, sucking her nipple into his mouth.
She arched, cupping his head, and moaned.
His hands roamed her body, exploring every curve and contour, his hunger for her growing with each touch. Her breath hitched as their connection deepened. He could feel the intensity of her desire, the longing that had been building within her as well.
Their lips met in a passionate kiss. As their bodies moved close, he knew this was more than just a physical act. He could lie to her all he wanted. He would even walk away in the end.
But this was more than just sex.
Breaking away from the kiss, he trailed soft, featherlight kisses down her neck, hearing her soft moans of pleasure. His hands moved lower, tracing the contours of her hips and waist before slowly sliding down, the tips of his fingers lightly grazing the sensitive skin between her legs.
Pandora let out a shaky breath, her eyes fluttering shut in response to the sensation.
Blaze wished he could be the man she wanted him to be. The man she once knew and loved.
But he couldn’t.
This was all he was capable of giving her and if this was what she really needed—wanted—then he would give it to her freely.
"Please," she whispered, need and desperation echoing in her voice.
He reached down, gently spreading her lips apart, and found her swollen, aching core. Sliding his finger inside her, he felt the warmth and wetness that greeted him, and he knew she was ready.
With a low growl, he pushed into her, filling her completely, setting off a wave of pleasure that shuddered through his entire body. She wrapped her legs around him, clinging to him as he began to move inside her.
He pulled out, and as she whimpered in protest, he guided her to sit on the edge of the bed. Kneeling before her, he parted her legs wide and watched as her swollen lips glistened with arousal. He could feel the heat radiating from her center, and the sight of it made his own desire surge.
He lowered his head, his tongue darting out to taste her sweetness.
Her hands clawed at the sheets as he licked and sucked at her sensitive flesh. He used his teeth to gently nibble on her clit, eliciting a flurry of moans from her. As he pleasured her, he could feel her body tense, her breaths becoming faster and shallower.
She was close, so very close.
He continued his relentless assault on her, determined to bring her to the brink. And then, just as she was about to fall over the edge, he stopped.
Pandora's eyes flew open, her expression one of confusion and desire. "What are you doing?" she panted, her hips bucking in search of the pleasure he had just denied her.
He smiled. "Just warming you up," he said, his voice low and seductive. He stood and pulled her to her feet. Their bodies collided, the heat between them intensifying. He kissed her passionately, and his hands roamed across her skin as if he couldn't get enough of her. He turned her and bent her over the bed. “Do you want me like this?” He had to ask. He needed to make sure he wasn’t pushing her too far.
“God, yes,” she begged.
With a possessive growl, he claimed her from behind, and his hands gripped her hips as he thrust into her with renewed vigor.
Pandora moaned, her body arching back into his, meeting his every deep, powerful stroke.
His hips moved in a rhythm that was both primal and hypnotic, driving them both closer to the edge.
He pushed their bodies harder, faster, their flesh slapping together in an intoxicating dance.
“Yes,” Pandora whispered. Her body trembled with the force of her pleasure. Her climax exploded with such fierceness it stole his breath. His chest tightened. The room spun. He groaned as he reached his limit, filling her with his own passion.
Slowly, he pulled away and collapsed next to her, his breathing still uneven, his body still humming from the intensity of their lovemaking. He reached over and gently stroked her face, his fingers brushing against her tears. “Why are you crying?”
Dammit. He’d gone and hurt her and that was the last thing he’d wanted.
She smiled. “It’s not what you think,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. "It's just… the emotions of everything, the release… I can't help it."
“I’m not sure what that means.” He held her close, kissing her nose.
“It’s not you. Or what we just did.” She palmed his cheek. “This might sound strange, but you just gave me all the courage and strength I need to move forward. More so than a bottle of tequila ever could. Or anyone else in this town.”
He pulled the covers over their bodies and let that statement sink into his brain. During the two years he’d been separated from his wife, he’d had a few encounters with women. They weren’t nameless, but they weren’t anything other than a roll in the hay. He’d used those women for sex, or they used him and everyone was okay with that.
Before he’d been married, he’d had similar relationships. Nothing earth-shattering. No hearts were broken. Just grown-ups having consensual sex.
In this moment he was faced with one simple fact.
He’d allowed her to use him and when this started, he’d been absolutely fine with that. He wanted to give her whatever she needed. His only fear had been she’d regret it.
She reached across his body and lifted the tray to the bed. She did not look like a woman who regretted her actions. No. She looked positively liberated.
However, he had one whopper of a lump stuck in his throat.
He’d tried like hell to make that just sex. He’d done everything in his power to make it almost animalistic, which made him an asshole. He hadn’t done anything they hadn’t done before. And he had made sure to gauge her reactions to what he’d been doing, and she had loved it.
So had he.
Perhaps a little too much.
“Aren’t you hungry?” She pushed the plate toward him and smiled.
“Famished.” He took the sandwich and dived into it, doing his best to push his insane thoughts from his head because they made no fucking sense at all. The woman made him crazy. He reached for his cell. The sooner he got the plan in motion, the sooner he’d be able to leave town. “Ethan and Rocky are expecting Sully to be at On The Rocks this evening. Are you up for going there tonight?”
“I can manage that.” She wiped her fingers on a napkin. “How do they know he’s going to be there?”
“Because they told him I would be there.” He arched a brow. “And he wants a piece of me.”
“I’m not sure I want to know what you said to him.”
He chuckled. “I better go shower.” He kissed her, hard. Which was a mistake, but he wanted just a little more. Especially since it would be the last of her he’d get.