Chapter 23
Chapter twenty-three
Vidar
I’m back in Kings, pacing back and forth. Tugging on the connection that links our souls every few minutes, needing the reassurance. But my mind doesn’t settle when Kai isn’t in arm's reach.
“He’s kinda stressing me out…” Kai’s large friend, Luuk, Mumbles from where he sits at the front desk with Apollo.
“Soulmates will do that to ya, lad,” Apollo replies casually to the taller man, who chuckles like Apollo told a joke.
“Well, my boyfriend is my soulmate, and he never stresses me out,” Luuk sighs dreamily, clueless to the supernatural world around him.
“Maybe that just means you stress Ari out,” Apollo teases.
Getting tired of their chatter and impatient for Kai’s return, I storm towards the basement.
A rolled-up piece of paper hits my head and bounces off. I grunt. Why must my vampires always throw things at me?
“Leave him,” Apollo reprimands. “You realise that you’re suffocating Kai, right?”
Holding back an annoyed sound, I plant myself by the basement door, my arms folded—waiting. I crack my neck, tap my foot. Anything to keep from going downstairs and just grabbing hold of Kai.
“I realise, Apollo,” I finally grind out.
“For someone who constantly says you’re not attracted to him, you sure don’t act like it,” Apollo sing-songs.
“I’ve never said that,” I say, half my attention on Apollo and the other half staring at the basement door. “Not attracted to Kai?” I scoff.
In my mind’s eye, I see jade green eyes that shine with emotion.
Warm brown skin I’d beg on my knees to explore, even as uncertainty holds me back.
Bow lips that smile, that frown, that tempt with every twitch.
Kai laughing at me, cooking with me, driving with me.
Kai. Kai. Kai. But didn’t I also feel overwhelmed with emotion before I crashed into apathy all those years ago?
“Yeah, he’s hot—” Luuk says.
I whip around, teeth bared. “You look at him?”
Luuk shoots up and holds up his hands as if to defend himself. “Whoa, whoa. I have a boyfriend, one I’m very much in love with.”
Apollo leans his slim forearms, covered in Forget-Me-Not tattoos, on the front desk and grins widely. “Oh yeah, Kai’s super hot.”
I huff a breath, Apollo’s ridiculous antics calming me. I shoot him a quick smile before turning back to the basement.
Apollo laughs like I’ve confirmed something for him. Luuk lets out a sigh of relief.
“Sooo…” Luuk draws out the word. “You—not me—think he’s good looking, why not try him out?”
“Like it’s so easy.” I breathe in deep. Catch the faintest scent of Kai, roll it on my tongue and let it melt. Soft. Precious. A hint of sharpness.
“It’d be so easy!” Apollo calls. “Get on your knees by the kettle for him.”
“Not next to my protein bars,” Luuk bemoans.
“But hot, in more ways than one,” Apollo snickers. “Plus, Kai would fucking love it.”
I ignore the two and inhale, letting the small trickle of Kai’s scent flood my system.
I want Kai. To deny so would be a waste of time.
But I’ve pushed the words and my wants down so long, I’m fraying at the edges. The idea of fucking him just to test these feelings that both drive me mad, yet save me, is not just laughable—it’s insulting. Purposefully hurt Kai? No. I will not be that man.
Besides, it would never just be sex. It’s too small a word to encompass what Kai and I would share. What we’ve already shared when he spent the night in my arms, I’d never been so intimately close to anyone. Not my wife, nor any lover, and all he did was sleep on my chest while I watched over him.
Kai and I wouldn’t have sex. No matter how desperate I become, it would always be more. Maybe too much.
I hear footsteps and finally see Kai and his other friend, Summer. It raises my hackles. Why does a man need so many people in his life? Don’t I share enough of him already?
I reach out and cup his face. “You’re back.”
His eyes roll back, but he still leans into my touch. I don’t think he even notices. Or maybe he does, but like me, he can’t stop himself. The thought makes me want to pound my chest and roar in triumph. Childish? Absolutely. I still draw him closer, grinning when he lays a hand on my stomach.
“I wasn’t gone,” he points out, like the clarification, not the distance, is my issue. “I was literally just in a different room for like thirty minutes.”
I stroke his cheek with my thumb. “Still too far away, little prince.”
When our eyes touch, it’s like all the air in the room is sucked out while simultaneously I’m breathing for the first time. To say I unconsciously stroke down to his chin and tilt his face up to mine, our lips so close, would be a lie.
My desire for him is instinctual. My actions, however…
“You’re so annoying,” he whispers, eyes dropping to my mouth. “You know that, right, bestie?”
The nickname meant to put distance between us only makes me crave him more. “I’m aware.”
Summer clears her throat, and Kai tries to twist away, but I keep him locked to me with an arm around his middle.
“What are you, five?” Kai shakes his head but stays in place and holds onto my forearms.
“So Kai and I decided we need a night out!” Summer cheers. “Luuk, Apollo, you’re coming, right?”
My arms tighten.
“Not me, Ari is cooking dinner for us.” Luuk sighs dreamily.
“Where are you going?” Apollo asks, not that it should matter, because I’m getting my ‘no’ ready.
“Sucker,” Summer tells him.
“Pft to listen to shit music and get felt up? Nah,” Apollo replies. “I’d rather go to a place with good music and get felt up, thank you.”
“I texted Golden and Ramy, they’re coming,” Kai says. His palm running up and down my arm, the back of his head resting against my shoulder, I don’t want to stop him, but we need to talk.
“Come with me.” I drag Kai to his office and sit him down. Then I see he’s clenching his hands. I clasp them in mine to find his fingers cold and start rubbing to warm them up. “Kai, you’re being hunted by a mad blood mage.”
“Not hunted since she already knows where I am.”
“This isn’t a good idea.”
Slowly, he tugs his hands away. “You need to feed, right?”
Frustrated, I huff out, “Yes, but it can wait.”
“No.” Kai raises a stubborn brow. “You said you starved yourself for a long time, so no, Vidar, it can not wait.”
I go to say something, but he stops me.
“Sucker is safe. Lucero owns it, he’ll be there and so will Ramy and…” His stubborn expression drops as he turns away. “It’ll be a test for us.”
Taken aback, I ask, “A test?”
“You can…” he swallows, “find a woman.”
My insides twist.
“Kai.” I flex. “Little prince, I just want to keep you safe.”
His hand goes to his braids, but stops mid-way and carefully rests his palm on his lap.
“This is our life, Vidar, and we should start getting used to it. So…” He steels himself, then looks at me head-on. “As you said, you weren’t looking after yourself, so I’m going to because you’re a stubborn dickhead. Go feed and…” he waves his hand in a vague gesture, “have fun.”
“And you?” I bite out.
Kai chews on his lip. “I…me too, maybe.”
Regret, jealousy, anger. All these emotions collide into me like a battering ram. But as much as I demand Kai is mine, he isn’t really, so what right do I have to stop this?
All I see in my soulmate is the future. But what if I give in to this need, only to find he was just a curiosity? What if my apathy comes back?
Wouldn’t it be simpler to keep playing this game of friendship and never risk losing him at all?
***
It’s dark outside Kai’s flat, where I wait for him beside the metal door, the handle mangled. Golden is on the other side, pressed against the wall by Lucero.
“What happened to the door again?” Ramy asks. His hair is up into an elaborate ponytail, and he’s dressed in all black.
“I ripped it off to get to Kai when he called me,” I reply absently, watching Lucero molest Golden out of the corner of my eye.
Over the years, I’ve seen all of my offspring in many states, none more than Lucero, who chased sex with the same reckless hunger I once did.
I’d glance at the men he’d spend the night with—curious, sometimes, about the heat that stirred low in my stomach but never took the time to understand.
But these feelings were never caused by Lucero, whose bulky frame and unsightly ass only ever blocked my view.
Instead, I’d find myself watching the men he prefers; beautiful, slender, smaller.
A pretty blush creeps up Golden’s neck as Lucero whispers filthy promises, and I tilt my head further in their direction. A confused wrinkle tugging my brow at the familiar… intrigue.
Why did I never question this feeling?
Lucero and I were never shy about sex, and we often shared a bed with our lovers.
On nights when the blood and the drink were good—when my partner and I, and Lucero and his, were lost in the throes of passion—the moans of his lovely men would urge me on, make me fuck my woman harder.
But once it was over, I never gave their lithe bodies or pretty faces a second thought.
Sighing, I run my fingers through my hair and push down these growing feelings.
Maybe I could have a threesome with Kai? I try to imagine it and immediately reject the idea as foolish. I don’t want another pair of hands on him.
“You’re wound up tight tonight, Maker.” Ramy’s voice pulls my attention to where he stands in the shadows. His lean body and elegant features are not obscured by the night but accentuated by it.
“We shouldn’t be going out at all, Rahim. But Kai needs it, and I need to feed.”
Having my youngest close by has always been a balm, even when I rejected it in my apathy. Sen, Lucero and Rurik are all fighters at their core; Ramy, however, is gentle.
I capture a strand of his silky hair fluttering in the breeze and run it between my fingers. “You look lovely tonight.”
Ramy bats his long eyelashes. “Don’t I always?”
I chuckle and let his hair fall away.
“You know, Maker, Kai did my hair,” Ramy says, a sly smile on his full lips.
My hand goes to my own silver locks. I wonder what Kai could do to mine? Ramy snickers.
I catch a glimpse of something fluffy and drop my gaze down to see he’s holding a pair of cat-shaped ear muffs.
“Golden gave them to me when I told him I’m still sensitive to loud noises,” Ramy explains. “He has a matching pair.”
I’m about to say something, but the door whining open distracts me.
Summer bounces out in a fluffy purple coat and a red dress so short it might as well be a T-shirt.
She’s so much like my usual type, curves and confident, with a flirty smile always ready.
I try to muster something other than a baseline of attraction, but all I can think is I’m glad I don’t need to worry about Kai flashing his body in little dresses.
And then I see him.
As always, he wears his leather jacket. But underneath is a black-and-red shirt, every button undone except the few where it’s tucked into jeans so tight they might as well be painted on.
His bare chest is adorned with silver necklaces, his braids are pushed up and away from his face on one side, and his left side remains covered.
A line of silver glitter runs down his exposed cheek like tears.
Kai looks wicked, but lonely in an alluring way. Like inviting a lover to try and make this pretty boy with glittery tears smile, and when I travel up to his long, unguarded neck, my fangs ache.
Maybe Kai really is a fae prince sent to tempt me.
“Go change,” I demand.
Summer glares.
“Don't be stupid,” Kai cocks an eyebrow. “What's wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“Yeah, you look great, Kai,” Golden says as he walks over with Lucero at his back.
“And I like the glitter,” Ramy adds.
“I can see your nipples!” My eyes roam across his chest, to those brown little things I want to sink my teeth into.
“You say that like it's a bad thing,” Summer quips.
Kai snorts and pushes past me. “C’mon, let's go already.”
Golden and Ramy catch up to Kai and Summer, and they stroll towards Lucero’s car. But before Kai can get too far away, I take hold of his arm and spin him around.
He gasps, and I lean in close. “Be good, little prince, this night is for fun, but you need to be safe, too.”
The cold—or maybe the vibration from my chest—hardens his nipples, and my fingers itch to touch, my mouth watering for a taste. My cock fills, so ready to sink deep…fuck hard…
Kai’s eyes glint, his glitter begging for something I don’t know if I can give. “Why be good when I can be bad?”
A growl escapes me, and I nearly tug him closer, but he slips out of my hold, laughter trickling behind him as he runs over to his friends, giving me the chance to see the perfect swell of his ass in those tight fuck-me jeans.
The four of them stop beneath a lamp light, bathed in gold as they look back at us. All enticing and vulnerable and beautiful, like sirens in the cold swept darkness.
“You okay, Maker?” Lucero asks, smirking like he can read my mind.
“Tonight will be a long night,” I mutter through clenched teeth, stalking after Kai. “A very long fucking night.”