Chapter 18
Nina sat on a bench in the middle of Lovely Bay and casually watched daily Lovely life unfolding around her. As she sat and gazed, she noticed a mum pushing a pram strolling leisurely past. Going the other way, an elderly grandad held the hand of a little girl in a pink ballerina dress with a rainbow on her chest, sparkly tights, and bright red wellies. Not far away, to her right, a Lovely Bay council worker clad in overalls was busy working on the building at the bottom of the lighthouse, and a distant plane droned from high overhead. Nina loved the ordinary little moments that encapsulated Lovely and smiled at the goings on around her.
It was a warm day in Lovely Bay with a cool breeze, clouds fluffing over the tops of trees, and little pools of sunshine landing on the pavement here and there. Nina was sitting lost in a world of her own, not too far from the deli, waiting for Sophie to arrive. She inhaled the air coming in off the sea happy to feel its freshness after an early start and a good few hours doing her accounts. Bookkeeping and numbers, she’d quickly learnt, were not her skill set, and in her small business, A Lovely Organised Life, accounts were neither her forté nor her favourite thing. The morning with numbers swimming in front of her eyes that she’d wanted to get sorted before she went away had sealed the deal that she needed a bookkeeper or accountant in her life. She added it to her mental list of things to do when she got home from Thailand.
Lovely Bay was bustling with people out and about as the weather began to warm up. About fifteen minutes later, she was sitting in the deli with Sophie. Alice had served them a couple of bowls of chowder, and she was chatting away to Sophie about Sophie’s husband, Nick, who was having problems with his job. Nina dipped into her chowder and listened as Sophie voiced concerns about what was happening with Nick’s work. As Sophie got deeper and deeper into what was going on, in her head, Nina considered that maybe it would be a good thing if Nick got made redundant and had to find himself a new job. In her opinion, Nick used his job and the fact that he was the main breadwinner, to get himself out of much of the childcare and doing anything at all in the home.
Nina had never really voiced her true feelings about Nick and his lack of involvement, but the further Sophie got into her motherhood journey, the more it became clear that she was single-parenting her three children with a distinct lack of commitment from Nick’s side of the fence. It hadn’t taken long for Nina to ascertain that Nick seemed to believe that the fact that he went to work and earned the money meant that his responsibilities more or less ended there. It wound Nina up; she had so far stopped herself from saying anything, but slowly, Sophie was beginning to realise what Nina thought too.
Nina tuned back into the conversation fully and approached it carefully. ‘Maybe it would be a good thing if he got a job where he wasn’t quite as committed to the travelling and the hours away.’
Sophie rolled her eyes. ‘That’s one way of putting it. He’s always away. I don’t know, sometimes, I think he travels and goes away on business way more than he actually needs to. He swans off and leaves everything to me all the time.’
Nina stopped herself from jumping in and throwing Nick under the bus. She tried not to plunge in and totally run Nick down. It was so tempting, though. ‘Hmm, he does seem to be away a lot of the time. It would be better if he were around more.’
‘I know. The thing is, I’m concerned, Neens. We’ve got a massive mortgage and lots of things to pay for all the time. Children aren’t cheap, you know. Our outgoings are a fortune. To be quite honest, Neens, we’re the walking, talking epitome of mortgage stress. Honestly, it’s bad. Plus, the cost of living is going up by the minute. I don’t even know how we got ourselves into it. You know?’
Nina nodded and sighed, ‘Yikes.’
‘It’s such hard work, too. Sometimes, I am so exhausted at the end of the day. I hate to admit it, but I’m sick of the children at points when I’ve been doing it all on my own all week. Oh, that sounds really horrible and ungrateful. I’d only admit it to you, but sometimes I cannot stand any of them!’
‘No, it doesn’t. It doesn’t sound good that you’re on your own all the time, trying to do it all single-handedly. It’s not fair.’
Sophie batted her hand and quickly backtracked. ‘Not that I’m complaining or anything like that…’
‘You don’t need to say that to me.’ Nina pointed out with a frown.
‘Ahh, sorry. I feel really bad now, saying things like that when you’re, you know, trying to get pregnant. I know I sound ungrateful. It’s just hard sometimes.’
Nina flicked her hand dismissively. ‘No, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You’ve got three and I know it’s hard work. You are allowed to rant, Soph. That’s what I’m here for.’ Nina didn’t add that she thought Nick was useless or that he needed someone to give him a good talking to. She thought that Sophie was sensitive enough as it was; she didn’t really need Nina throwing that into the mix.
‘It’s amazing and lovely to have three children. I’m really grateful, and I love them to death, you know that. But yeah, it’s hard. Really, really hard.’
‘It must be. You’re doing most of it on your own.’
‘Sorry. I don’t want to put you off.’
Nina laughed. ‘You’re not putting me off at all! You”re just making me realise that it’s not all a bed of roses.’
‘It’s fine with just one. You’ll be okay anyway. You’ll have me to help you and show you the ropes. I can tell you all the things that you don’t need to do, like read any books telling you to do this, that, or the other. You definitely have to stay far, far away from any apps. I’ve seen some horrors on those things. Keep off Reddit, too.’
‘You’re going to be my number one mentor if and when it happens,’ Nina said.
‘Anything else on that?’
‘Nothing, well, not as far as I know. You know me; my periods like to appear every now and then whenever they fancy it. Anyway, I’m just playing it by ear. Robby is convinced that it will happen.’
‘Yeah, it will, give it time. How are you feeling about it?’
Nina sighed, stirring her tea absentmindedly. ‘It”s a bit of a rollercoaster, to be honest. Some days I”m hopeful, and other days I”m just... tired of the waiting and the not knowing.’
Sophie reached across the table and squeezed Nina”s hand. ‘It”s completely understandable. It”s such an emotional process. And with Robby being so positive, it must add a different kind of pressure.’
‘Yeah, he”s amazing, but it does get a bit much sometimes. I don’t want to dampen his spirit, though. His optimism is working overtime…’
The conversation paused as they both took a sip of their tea. Sophie changed the topic slightly. ‘Have you thought about what”s next? Like, any steps you might take if things don’t progress naturally?’
‘We’ve discussed it a bit. In fact, we were talking about it the other day. For now, we’re going to leave it. Maybe next year or something, I don’t know yet. I’ll look at seeing a specialist or exploring other options. But for now, we”re trying to stay hopeful about it happening naturally.’
Sophie nodded understandingly. ‘That makes sense. Taking it one step at a time is probably the best way.’
‘Yeah.’
‘You know I’m here for you, right?’
‘Thanks, Soph. Does that mean you’ll be around when I’m crying down the phone, tearing my hair out and utterly sleep-deprived?’
‘Ha! Always. What are friends for?’
About twenty or so minutes later, as they stepped outside the deli, Sophie suddenly flapped her hands. ‘Oh, I almost forgot to ask about Thailand! How are the preparations going?’
‘We’re all set, really. We’ve got the itinerary planned out, most of the packing done, and I”m actually getting quite excited about it now.’
‘Ooh, I’m not jealous at all. The food will be incredible. We had such a nice time when we were in Phuket. Those were the days.’
‘I can’t wait to try authentic Thai dishes, especially the street food.’
Sophie laughed. ‘You’ll love it. I want loads of tabs on your Instagram stories. I’ll be living vicariously through your holiday!’
‘Definitely, I’ll spam you with pictures and make you jealous,’ Nina joked.
‘Can’t wait.’
‘I’m really looking forward to the change of scenery and experiencing a new culture. It’s going to be a much-needed break from everything. It’s been a busy few years.’
‘You deserve it. Absolutely you do.’
‘It’ll be strange not seeing Lovely Bay for a few weeks, but I think this holiday is exactly what Robby and I need right now.’
‘Exactly. You’re going to have such a good time. Time for you to switch off. It’s going to be a brilliant experience.’
‘I hope so! Don’t want to tempt fate…’