52. Henry
Chapter fifty-two
Henry
S team billowed up around Henry’s feet, but the softly whirring fan carried it away before it could transform the bathroom into a sauna. The shower spray misted his face. He adjusted the setting to battering ram and urged the water to pound through the exhaustion in every muscle.
Today had been a trial. His concerns had been realized, made manifest. A full day of attending to Mother’s health while incorporating Alice and Jay’s needs was beyond his skills. They would have a week yet, and for part of that time he would also need to account for Robert and his family.
Though not Natalie; Alice had at least spared him the overreach of inviting others without warning.
He shouldn’t be thinking such thoughts.
Lathering his hair, he dug his nails into his scalp and scrubbed roughly. His spouses had every right to add their own flair to the holiday celebrations they would create as a family from now on. His submissives would have approached him first.
He had not, in fact, been approachable of late.
So. He had revealed an uncountable number of faults in the past two weeks, and his loves had suffered for his lapses. That, in truth, was the reason his shower was not the relaxing end to the day but merely the brief break between rounds of caregiving—Alice and Jay were owed apology, appeasement, for the trials they’d endured.
The shampoo sluiced away, and he soaped up. His usual scent unexpectedly floated around him in a calming froth. Alice must have brought a full suite of toiletries from home; he’d reached for the bar without even noticing the change. His mind was continually absorbed in other tasks, which made missing signs far too easy. And too dangerous.
Once he’d showered, he would check on Mother to be certain she was resting comfortably. Perhaps ensure she would not be responding to phone messages when she needed healing sleep. Then he would steel himself for the conversation Alice had been agitating for all day. He’d repeatedly addressed her emotional upset with reassurances, but those had been insufficient. A surfeit of recriminations awaited him, a logical takedown of all the hurts and slights he’d caused and must now compassionately tend to, nurturing his neglected spouses.
The hot water could do nothing for that exhaustion. All day he had maintained his vigilance, ensuring the conversation remained light and pleasant, that Mother ate enough nutrients in quantity and quality, and that Alice and Jay were recognized for their contributions. The instant he sat, Jay claimed the space at his side, silently seeking attention and comfort. When he rose and kept his distance, Alice chased him down and asked how he was, what he knew of Mother’s condition, whether he’d been missing them as much as they had missed him.
He found no peace, no respite, from the obligations assailing him. How na?ve he’d been to imagine himself up to the task. But if he toppled, the entire house would fall.
Drawing deep, heavy breaths, he exhaled a sour mélange of righteous frustration and abject fear. Tonight, he must be malleable to give Alice and Jay whatever they needed. His intuitive connection, like his love for them, lay swathed under layers of fog so thick he only occasionally stumbled upon it and accidentally managed to provide what he usually did with deliberation and intent.
He twisted the shower to off, admitting the impossibility of recapturing his equilibrium no matter how long he stood beneath the flow. Uninterrupted sleep, that would give him the rest he sought, if only he could achieve it.
The bath towel was too soft for the vigorous chafing that would get his blood flowing and make him alert enough to keep up with Alice’s logic and Jay’s need for comforting words. If he wound it tight and doubled it to act as a makeshift flogger, they would surely hear him from the bedroom. He pinched his skin. Not enough to bruise, but enough to revive his adrenal response until he was dry and panting. His cock hung limp, as it had for two weeks. But if it came to that, he could simply profess to wanting to watch Alice and Jay together instead of taking part himself. Successful deflection was based in truth.
He donned his pajama bottoms, a classical navy with white piping, and brushed his teeth before adding the matching top. The man facing him in the mirror looked far older than thirty-nine. A worn-out ghost of himself.
Pushing down the exhaustion and irritation, he raised his shoulders and resettled them, expanding his chest. Stared himself down until he’d reached the inscrutable neutrality Jay teasingly called dom face. His spouses deserved more than another day of sadness and regret. He would give them better, and lock away what it cost him.
Pulling the door open, he stepped from the heat of the bathroom to the cool bedroom.
Alice and Jay, wrapped in an embrace, took little notice. Jay had shed his shirt; Alice clasped him to her by his neck and head, her hands wound through his hair, leaving his exquisite back bare. The flawless length of Jay’s spine flexed as he rippled against her. His shoulder blades smoothly shifted, gliding with the motion of his arms. This was the Jay he’d painted, the one whose image hung outside their bedroom at home.
They were glorious together. The vision stung his eyes; he choked back a sob as a wave of longing eroded his hard-won composure. Would that he could shake off the grasping fear and sink into watching the beauty of his submissives at play, their joy unfettered, their tender care for each other a balm upon his soul.
Alice drew back, her eyes bright, and strode toward him. Jay followed in her wake, his hand in hers, his face sweet and open. His slacks gaped, the button undone and the zipper falling under pressure.
Henry held his ground as Alice traced the piping down his lapel and tumbled the top button in her fingers. “Good shower, husband?”
“Refreshing.” A single word, that required less energy of him. Fewer half-truths. But the agitation stirred in his veins. “And you’ve seen to Mother? I ought to check—”
“Jay was just with her.” Alice snaked her hand up Henry’s chest and curled her fingers at the nape of his neck, stroking the hairs there. Unlike Jay, he kept his far too short for pulling. “She’s settled in for the night, reading before bed. Maybe it’s a good time to think about what you need, after all these days apart, with no breaks.”
She kissed his chin, the corners of his mouth, his cheeks. Nibbled at his lips, wordlessly inquiring about an invitation for entry. He allowed the contact, parting his mouth and monitoring the rhythmic waves of her kiss, awaiting the moment when the natural close would come.
“We’ve all been so busy.” Her gentle tug at his shirtfront pulled him forward a step. “We could use some time to slow down. Get cozy?” Her slow prodding toward the bed was unsubtle, but Alice’s strengths lay in direct action. “Even if an hour or two is all we get, it’ll help us all recharge. Be on the same page to talk things over tomorrow.”
“An admirable goal.” He kept his voice low, rumbling approval. If the lengthy, emotionally charged discussion could wait, so much the better. Redirecting Alice’s amorous interest toward Jay would be a simple matter of a few well-chosen commands. “I’ll make certain Mother is resting comfortably and return shortly.” A glance at the nightstand revealed no portable unit. “Just to retrieve the monitoring system. I wouldn’t wish a recurrence of the difficulty we had earlier this week.”
Difficulty . Too smooth a word, too soft, for the terror of blue lips and gasping breaths, the thudding of footsteps in the hall, the clang of metal guardrails locking into position before the gurney raced away.
“I can fetch it.” Alice slipped sideways and nudged Jay toward him, speckling Jay’s shoulder with minuscule kisses. “You two relax. I’ll sit with Mother for a while.” She squeezed Henry’s arm, gripping lightly, her hand a cat’s paw kneading down toward his wrist. A strategy he frequently employed in aftercare, now wielded against him as foreplay. “And I’ll bring the monitor back with me. It’s the one you had on your hip last night?”
She’d noticed. What else had her study of him concluded?
“Yes, thank you, Alice.” Regardless, managing Jay alone would be far easier than facing a combined assault. Perhaps he could send Jay to fetch a book from the library for story time and gain a few more minutes to bolster his mental reserves. “That’s quite thoughtful of you.”
Her mouth twitched. Rising on her toes, she met him eye to eye and kissed him square on the lips, staring at him all the while. “I love you.”
He echoed her words. The gray fog dampened sound and meaning, but he managed a gentle smile for her.
She gave a slight nod and turned toward Jay, taking his face in both hands and kissing him with exaggerated exuberance. “And you, stud. I love this look on you.” She winked at their husband, adding kisses to his cheeks. “This is a good look.”
The door ticked quietly shut behind her, leaving Henry standing beside the bed with a half-dressed husband whose eyes held a mix of shyness and desire.
God help him.