Chapter 6 #2
a?? a??Tis enough, Olav. You wona??t kill Lotti because you dona??t want to die.
I know you. I know that all tradesmen here in Coppergate snigger at you behind your back and call you Olav the Vain.
You prance and strut about, extolling your brilliance at tradinga??at cheating the unwary, morea??s the trutha??and you spend all your gold on finery to adorn your sagging old body!
Look at you, garbed like King Guthrum himself!
Yet even he, an old man like you, doesna??t glitter like a conceited fool! a??
a??You will be quiet, Zarabeth!a?? He was shaking with fury, the life back in him at full strength at her insults.
a??Nay, not now, not when I would tell you the truth, you dirty old man!
I wona??t remain here, wondering if you will try to crawl into my bed and molest me.
I wona??t pretend to be your loving stepdaughter when I know what it is youa??re really thinking.
I wona??t suffer your hatred for Lotti anymore, your contempt, your neglect.
I wona??t listen to your lies about my mother.
You didna??t deserve her, damn you! Now, you will tell me where youa??ve hidden Lotti and I will fetch her and be gone.
I never want to see your ugly face again.a??
Olav was silent for many moments. Then he raised his hand in a sort of benediction, and said in a voice that was certain and cold, a??The idiot child will die, slowly, and I will know pleasure from the knowledge of it.
I swear it on Odin, our All-Father, and I swear it on the Christian God as well.a??
She felt the room pitch sideways. In that instant she believed him. He wasna??t lying. He spoke as calmly as an insane man who would be pushed no further.
Aye, she believed him. This was the point beyond which he wouldna??t retreat.
She knew him. He would have Lotti killed or he would kill her himself.
He wouldna??t care. She could see Keith strangling the child with one hand, lifting her and crushing the life out of her with but one of his big hands.
She could see him tossing her out as one would refuse.
She could see him whistling even as he finished his murder.
No, no, not Keith, she thought, not gentle weak Keith.
Toki, his wife, it would be she who murdered Lotti.
Zarabeth wasna??t overly religious, and thus, in that instant, she prayed to Odin, to Thor, and finally to the Christian God for good measure. What to do?
a??Go to sleep now, Zarabeth. You have much to consider. I will know your answer on the morrow. Oh, think not to kill me during the night, for if you do, the child will die very quickly after me and you will have gained naught but death yourself, for all will know you killed me, and none other.a??
She moved slowly to behind the thin bearskin that separated hers and Lottia??s sleeping chamber from the rest of the room.
She looked at the box bed. She slowly unfastened her wide leather belt and stripped off her soft woolen gown.
She remained in her linen shift and crawled between two wool coverlets.
She lay there, her eyes wide and fixed, staring into the darkness, not knowing what to do.
It was near dawn when she knew that she could not sacrifice Lottia??s life for her own happiness.
Even if it meant Olava??s death as well.
It was then that tears flowed down her cheeks, their salty wetness in her mouth.
And it was later still, after the sun had risen over the harbor, that she changed her mind and felt hope build in her.
Zarabeth forced a smile. Her heart was pounding so loudly she thought he would hear it.
Aye, a smile, for even in the short time shea??d known Magnus, she realized that he knew her very well indeed.
She had to persuade him, she had to leave no doubts at all in his mind, so that Olav would be convinced, and then she would act and both she and Lotti would be safe.
She prayed to Odin that Magnus would forgive her lie even as he believed it.
She prayed to her own Christian God that Magnus would forgive her when he discovered what shea??d had to do.
Magnus saw that smile of hers, that ghastly smile, and said without preamble, a??What troubles you, Zarabeth? Are you cold? There is rain in the air this morning.a??
Cold! It was laughable. She turned to stand more closely to the well in Coppergate square.
She knew that Olav watched from the tannera??s shop just feet away.
She knew that he could see her face clearly, her face and Magnusa??.
She knew he could hear her and Magnus. She knew she had to tread carefully, for Lottia??s life, her own future, depended on it.
a??Ia??m not cold. I am glad you are here, Magnus Haraldsson. I would speak to you. I will not mince matters. I am here to tell you that I do not wish to wed with you. I was mistaken in my feelings. I have decided I dona??t want you. I dona??t wish to see you again.a??
Magnus saw her pallor, heard the tension in her voice.
He didna??t accept her words. He didna??t understand her and he was not willing to be patient at her game.
He threw back his head and laughed. a??This is a show of your wit, sweeting?
I like it not. We will jest of many things, but not of this.
This is our life, not some sort of joke to be tossed about heedlessly.a??
a??Your conceit is bloated as the rain clouds overhead, Viking. I speak the truth to you. I treat you not to my wit. I dona??t want you. I bid you good-bye.a?? She turned on her heel to leave him, but he grasped her arm and pulled her back. She felt anger in him now. He would believe her, he would.
He spun her about to face him. He said nothing for a very long time, just looked down at her, studied her face, her expression.
She wished she could whisper the truth to him, but she held herself silent.
She filled her eyes with contempt, and hoped she did it well.
She would take no chance with Lottia??s life.
She would make it up to him later. There had to be a later.
Shea??d prayed until the full morning light for a later.
a??So,a?? he said at last with slow deliberation.
a??So, at last I find a girl who is all that I wish and she tells me she doesna??t want me.
I find it passing strange, Zarabeth, this sudden change in you.
Why, you would have gone with me to my vessel last night, I think, had I insisted upon it. Do you deny it?a??
She probably would have, she thought blankly, pain so sharp her chest ached with it.
She looked him up and down and smiled, that same ghastly smile, and filled her voice with insolence.
a??I admire your manliness, Viking, so perhaps I would have thought to sample your offerings.
But to become your wife, to leave York, to journey to a savage land where there are naught but savage people who would look upon me as a foreign oddity?
No, Viking, I wona??t do that. I was temporarily mad, but no more.
As for the other, a man is to be enjoyed at a womana??s whim.
I had nearly decided to enjoy you, a??tis true, but then . . .a??
She shrugged, and that one small movement enraged him, and she knew that Olav saw he was enraged. It was enough; shea??d won Lottia??s life.
She made to leave him then, but Magnus enraged was frightening, and she faltered. She flinched even as his grip on her arm tightened painfully.
a??Listen to me, Zarabeth. I dona??t believe this act of yours. You are under threat from Olav, are you not? Tell me the truth, for I can put a stop to any threats he has made.a??
She shook her head, afraid to open her mouth for fear of what would come out. She turned her head to the side. a??Olav the Vain threaten me? Surely you cana??t believe that, Viking. I wona??t be threatened by any man.a?? She spit onto the ground. a??Not even by you.
a??Call me not a liar, Viking! I think you a conceited fool. Leave me now, for I find your presence tedious and your hold on my arm officious.a??
He flung her arm away from him and she stumbled.
She didna??t fall, but she realized that if she had fallen he wouldna??t have helped her.
He was staring down at her, his face without any emotion at all that she could see.
He looked savage and cold and utterly ruthless.
He looked as if he would enjoy killing her.
He looked like, finally, he believed her utterly.
When he spoke, finally, his voice was as hard and cold as his face.
a??Perhaps I should take you to my vessel.
I can give you a good taste of a Viking man.
I wona??t disappoint you, Zarabeth, but I doubt I would receive any pleasure from our coupling.
Youa??ve played with me magnificently, pulled me in with gentleness and a candor I had not believed possible in a woman.
I have been a conceited fool, aye, a??tis true, but at least I didna??t marry you.a?? He shook his head and then threw back his head and laughed.
a??To think I considered myself the luckiest of men to have found you.
I saw you and I wanted you. Ah, I thought it so easy, so straightforward, this love business.
I thought it was fate intervening to give you to me.a?? He laughed again, deep and harsh.
a??Aye, and I was so pleased that fate had determined me to be worthy of such a fine creature as you.
The irony is beyond reason and beyond pain.a?? Then he turned and strode away.
He paused, but didna??t turn back as he said over his shoulder.
a??You are a bitch, Zarabeth, and I devoutly hope you gain what you deserve.a??