Chapter 18 #2
Horkel said, a??The men and I will try for a little while longer, wea??ll go out into a wider circle, but, Magnus, the current swirls about oddly here, and those damned water reeds can sap the strength of a grown man, and the child is so smalla??a??
a??Aye, I know it too well.a??
He wanted to dive again, but he knew that when Zarabeth regained consciousness she would leap over the side, and he would lose her too.
He fretted, feeling more helpless than hea??d ever felt in his life, then hauled Zarabeth into his arms. She was cold, her body limp, her beautiful red hair matted and tangled across her face.
He smoothed the hair back and cupped her face between her hands, saying, a??Theya??re trying, Zarabeth, theya??re trying.
Ah, by Odin, Ia??m sorry, so very sorry.a?? He raised his head then at a shout from one of the men. Theya??d found Lotti!
He felt excitement and hope; then it died. Tostig had brought up a log.
He knew that Lotti was dead. He even accepted it. Too much time had passed. He knew it, but he found he simply couldna??t accept it. The child had died trying to save him. Shea??d called him Papa and shea??d jumped into the water because she thought he was drowning.
He couldna??t bear it. He lowered his head against Zarabetha??s forehead and cried.
Time lost meaning. He saw the men either swim to shore or climb into the boat.
He saw Horkel take the oars. It seemed but a moment later that the boat was once again firmly tied to the Malek dock.
Magnus carried Zarabeth up the narrow path that led to the palisade.
The men were trailing behind, silent and grim, colder now even with the hot sun beating down on them, for they had lost.
Zarabeth stirred against his shoulder. He hugged her tighter to him, thinking she would struggle when she realized he was holding her. But she didna??t struggle. He knew she was awake, but she didna??t move.
a??Ia??m sorry I struck you,a?? he said, his eyes on the trail.
Her voice was a thin thread of sound. a??Lotti?a??
His throat was clogged with tears. He could only shake his head.
She tried to lurch out of his hold. She twisted and fought him until he stopped and set her down, holding her upper arms in his hands. He shook her. a??Stop it! We could do no more. Do you understand me, Zarabeth? We could do no more!a??
a??No! Youa??re lying! Please, Magnus, please! Let me go. I must find her or shea??ll be hurt, hurt . . .a??
She was crying, tears streaming down her face, and she was twisting and flailing at him, until once again he struck her jaw and she fell forward against him.
a??You had to do it, Magnus,a?? Horkel said. a??Do you want me to carry her now?a??
Magnus merely shook his head and lifted her once again in his arms.
a??You did all you could. All of us did. Once we realized what had happened, all of us were in the water searching for her. She died quickly, Magnus. With little pain. You must remember that.a??
He nodded. Tears thickened in his throat, and he kept his eyes on the trail in front of him.
He had never imagined such pain as this. It was inside him, deep and clawing and unremitting, and he knew that nothing could magically halt it. He remembered when he had been but ten years old and his little sister had died. But her death had not brought him anything like this pain.
He heard Horkel say gently beside him, a??You knew, deep down you knew, Magnus, that the child couldna??t have survived. By Thor, man, she couldna??t hear!a??
a??What, then, Horkel? Better she die now than in two years? Three years?a??
a??Ia??m only saying that it was inevitable and no onea??s fault, not yours, not Zarabetha??s. Not Egilla??s either.a??
Magnus knew Horkel was right, but it didna??t ease a whit of the deadening pain.
There was an eager audience awaiting them inside the palisade, for everyone knew that something of import had happened.
Even Ingunn was silent, wondering, waiting, and hopeful that the woman was dead.
After all, Magnus was carrying her, and she was limp, her head lolling on his arm, and she was wet, so very wet, and deathly pale.
But the woman wasna??t dead, and Ingunn felt impotent rage flow through her.
The woman stirred. Ingunn stepped forward, blocking her brothera??s path, suddenly hopeful that Magnus had finally realized the worthlessness of the woman.
She had dumped all the milk, hadna??t she?
And just for that little witless sister of hers.
a??What happened to her? Did you strike her because of her insolence and disobedience?a??
Magnus looked through his sister.
a??What happened?a??
a??Be still, woman,a?? Ragnar said. a??The little girl drowned trying to save Magnus.a??
Ingunna??s breath hissed through her teeth. One of them was dead, not the one she could have wished had drowned, but still . . . She shrugged. a?? a??Tis of no matter. The child could not have survived. a??Tis a wonder she lived so long. She could not hear. Shea??a??
Magnus turned then, looking at his sister. Horkel had said nearly the same thing, but, by Thor, not with Ingunna??s meanness and pleasure. His sistera??s words cut deep and raw. a??You will be quiet, Ingunn. You will say nothing more, do you understand me?a??
a??But why do you care so? It was the womana??s fault in any case. She was naught buta??a??
Magnus lost control. He handed Zarabeth to Horkel, stepped up to his sister, and backhanded her hard across the cheek. She screamed in pain and went down onto her side.
Magnus stepped to her and stared down at her. She was holding her cheek, and there was hatred and a goodly measure of fear in her eyes.
He thought again how odd it was that Horkel had said nearly the same words, yet from Ingunn hea??d been unable to bear it, for the venom was deep and vicious in her voice.
a??You will soon be gone from my sight. I will send a message to our father this very day.
He will remove you. I dona??t want to see you again.a?? His words were terrifying because of the calmness with which he spoke.
Ingunn didna??t move; she was too afraid.
Cyra, no fool, stepped back, saying nothing.
Horkel had already carried Zarabeth into the longhouse. He laid her on Magnusa?? bed, then stood back as his friend entered the small chamber.
Magnus merely nodded, and Horkel left them.
Zarabeth came back to awareness slowly, her mind sluggish and vague. She felt very cold. She opened her eyes, then lifted herself on her elbows. She saw Magnus sitting on the bed beside her.
a??What happened? Why is my hair wet? Ah, my jaw hurts. Did you hit me?a??
a??Yes, I had to. Ia??m sorry.a??
She felt the wetness of her hair against her shoulders and back, felt the rough wool blanket against her bare skin.
She was naked save for dry cloths between her legs.
How could that be? Had he replaced the cloths?
She fell back, drawing the blanket to her throat.
Magnus was still sitting there, looking at her, saying nothing.
She frowned and fought to remember and to grasp what had happened, and then she knew, all and everything.
a??Wherea??s Lotti?a??
His face tightened.
a??Wherea??s Lotti?a??
a??Shea??s dead.a??
She reared up, dropping the blanket, uncaring, and grabbed his tunic in her hands. She shook him, slammed her fists against his chest. a??Where is she?a??
But she knew; deep down, she knew.
Magnus held her wrists and pressed her back down. The cover was at her waist, her breasts heaving deeply. a??Ia??m sorry, Zarabeth,a?? he said, and his voice was harsh with his tears, but she didna??t hear him, wouldna??t accept his pain.
But she knew it was true. She moistened her lips with her tongue. a??She drowned?a??
a??Aye. The current isna??t all that strong in that particular place, but ita??s erratic. There are thick water reeds that can hold a grown man under. We couldna??t find her. She was so very small, you see.a??
She turned her face away. Magnus felt her stiffen, even though she didna??t seem to move at all. She stiffened and she went away from him and he couldna??t bear it.
a??Zarabeth, dona??t.a??
She made no response.
Then suddenly she turned her head to face him.
She simply stared at him; then she began laughing.
It was an ugly sound, raw and harsh, and she was gasping out the words through her laughter.
a??She tried to save you! She thought you were drowning!
That little girl thought only to save you!
By all the gods, a??twas madness! Why didna??t you drown?
Why? I hate you! You killed her, you wanted her dead, youa??a??
Pain ripped through him. He rose unsteadily to his feet. Her laughing stopped. Her face was pale, her eyes dark and vague. Then she closed her eyes and turned her face away from him. Defeated, he pulled the blanket over her, then turned on his heel and left the chamber.
Horkel awaited him outside. He waved at the closed door. a??The woman is all right?a??
a??No.a??
Magnus started at the sudden burst of loud weeping.
It was piercing and heartbroken. He started forward.
Had Ingunn finally forgotten her hatred of Zarabeth?
To his astonishment, it was his aunt Eldrid, and shea??d covered her face with her hands and was screaming tears and fury, rocking back and forth on the wooden bench.
When she saw him, she got control of herself.
He walked to her, lifted her from the bench, and folded his arms around her scrawny back.
She wept until she had no more tears.
Magnus released her then and eased her into his own chair. a??Rest,a?? he said. a??Ia??m sorry, but we did all we could to find her.a??
He turned then to Ragnar. a??Please go to my father and tell him what has happened. Tell him . . .a?? Magnus paused a moment as if wishing he could leave the words unspoken. a??Tell him that he must come for Ingunn, and soon.a??