43. Chapter 34
Chapter 34
E lijah didn't come back to Jon's place. Not the day after Christmas, or the day after that, or the day after that. New Year's Eve came and went. Eddie and Samuel went out for the evening using the gift certificate Jon had given them, and Elijah went to bed early, according to Jolie. She and Jon watched fireworks on TV at his place, and it was nice to have her there. But also weird that the others weren't included. It felt wrong.
Elijah was avoiding him, apparently. At first, Jon was relieved, then anxious, then pissed off. Then he figured he'd blown it, which would be just like him, and he was depressed.
Aunt Jolie left on January 5th, heading back to her own life. Before she left, she fixed a quiet dinner for the two of them at Jon's garage apartment. Like the wise woman she was, she didn't give him a lecture. Instead, she listened to him go on about how different he and Elijah were, and Trish, and how he couldn't risk his heart again, and the farm, and his duty to Samuel and Eddie and the animals, and his leg, and wondering where he was going in life, how long he'd even be living in Pennsylvania, and what was next. It all poured out in shuddered glugs like brown water from a rusty old tap.
Christ, he'd never been a talker. But he had a lot on his chest, apparently.
Jolie said, "You're in a period of transition, and it's natural to be anxious. But that's the exciting part! You get to start something new with someone new. From what I see, your life is already flowing, Jon, and it knows where it's bound. Be the water and go with it. Right now, you're like the rocks in the water, resisting with all your might. Just let go. Being afraid of loving someone? Of putting yourself out there? That'll never bring you joy."
Yeah. Whatever that meant. A rock? How was he a rock?
Sometimes, he wondered if Jolie had smoked a little too much weed in her ceremonies.
The day after Jolie left, Eddie drove Jon to a checkup with his doctor. The doctor said his ankle was healing beautifully, and the cast could come off in another week. Jon was thrilled to hear it. On the drive home, Eddie said that was good because Elijah had gotten a new job and was gonna be leaving as soon as Jon was able to resume his work.
Jon about lost it. He managed not to grill Eddie or throw a fit in the truck. Just barely. But as soon as they parked, Jon hopped out of the truck, grabbed his crutches, and started headlong for the barn.
"Hey, where are you going?" Eddie called out.
"Just gonna say hi to the pigs," Jon muttered. "I'm fine." He kept going.
It truly had been too long since he'd been down at the barn. He might have come earlier to see the animals except the driveway was often icy—not conducive to navigating with crutches. And he'd been locked up inside in more ways than one. But he was done with that. Today, he was going to chase down life if it wouldn't come to him. The driveway was clear, and he wouldn't have given two figs if it wasn't.
It was around 4 p.m. when he entered the barn. The pigs were in their stalls munching on dinner. Benny and several others saw him and were excited enough to leave the food and come over to the gate, squealing for attention.
"I missed you too." Jon carefully knelt down on his good leg and exchanged pets and kisses through the bars. "Benny, you been good? Orson, your breath stinks, man. You been eating cow patties again? Jenny, girl, you've lost a pound or two."
"Hey."
Jon looked up and was struck in the heart with his first glimpse of Elijah. Damn, it felt like it'd been ages. Jon struggled to his feet.
"You don't have to get up." Elijah hurried to take his arm and help him.
"Nah. My knee doesn't much like that cement anyway."
They stood there looking at each other. Elijah had had a haircut that was more stylish than the bowl cut he'd always worn. He had on a red plaid shirt Jon vaguely remembered him getting at Christmas. He looked gorgeous.
"I'm so glad you're feelin' better," Elijah said. "You look well."
"Doc says he'll take the cast off next week."
"For true?" Elijah's eyes widened. "That's real gut so."
"Maybe your healin' helped."
"I doubt it." Elijah's gaze shifted away.
"Hey." Jon reached out and took Elijah's hand. He couldn't help himself. "You didn't need to stop comin' around."
"I thought maybe you needed a little time to think."
Maybe he did. And maybe the absence had done something useful, because his heart pounded seeing Elijah again. Then Jon remembered and his jaw clenched.
"Eddie says you're leavin' us. Got a job workin' for a hospice? Is that right?"
Elijah smiled. "Ja. I never would have found it if not for Jolie. She made a resume for me and helped me get an interview. I start on Jan 18 th . It's just twenty hours a week at first, so I told Eddie and Samuel I can still do my chores ’til you're back on full duty. Don't worry."
"Well, congratulations. That's amazing."
Elijah beamed.
"So you're gonna make me do all this work again by myself, huh?" Jon teased, but it came out a little bitter.
Elijah blinked those big dark eyes. "It always seemed like I was more of an add-on that weren't strictly necessary."
"That's not true."
Elijah shrugged.
Jon sighed. He and Elijah stared at each other for a minute. He wanted to say, don't go . But that wouldn't be fair.
"Once I have my own job and my own place, would you go out with me?" Elijah's cheeks flushed pink. "You said us working together was a problem. So, I thought, maybe, if that weren't in the way…." He looked down at the floor and bit his lip, unsure.
Man, Jon could take lessons in bravery from Elijah. He squeezed Elijah's hand. "So you're not just tryin' to get away from me?"
Elijah gave a puzzled little laugh. "You? No! I thought this'd be easier for you."
A stone rolled off Jon's heart. "Well, that does sound like it could work out real well. As long as you don't move too far away."
"For true?"
Jon moved a step closer. "It would be nice to be able to take it slow. Just—don't give up on me, okay? Whatever you do, don't give up on me."
Elijah reached up to cup Jon's face. "I would never. I told you: I believe in you and me. I saw it."
Jon barked a laugh. "You saw it? Like a vision?"
"Maybe." Elijah looked coy.
"Mmm-hmm. You've been spendin' too much time with Jolie."
Elijah grinned. "Well, she did rub off on me some." His face grew serious. "She helped me a lot, Jon."
"I'm glad, E."
Jon tucked a piece of hair behind Elijah's ear and then they were kissing. And it might have become more than that except Elijah's phone buzzed with a text from Samuel calling them in for dinner.
Jon knew he'd regret buying that damn phone one day.