Chapter 12 #2
He shook his head, and wrapped her legs around his waist as he pulled her closer to him.
“No. You are found. With me, you are found. It is when we are apart that you feel lost. Don’t you see that?”
And she nodded, because she did. In that moment, she felt a shift of clarity and she knew it to be the truth of their situation.
It knocked everything from her mind, leaving her free simply to be and to feel and to enjoy.
She basked in the sense of completion that came from his body making love to hers.
She gripped him and kissed him and cried his name into his home as she rode the waves of pleasure and laughed at the craziness of life.
It took her a long time to come back to earth, but eventually her breathing returned to normal and she blinked her eyes open.
Thaddeus was staring at her with the most curious expression. “I pushed you away because I was jealous and I was hurt. That night in Athens …” He shook his head. “I wanted to hurt you too. I wanted you to feel what I had. But my success has tormented me.”
She squeezed her eyes shut against the strong emotions and memories.
“I will never hurt you again.” It was a promise that he would have made with his blood.
Saphire wanted to believe him. But the memories of that night had scored deep in her heart. She was torn between the love she felt, in his arms, and the pain she’d felt of his making.
“I have something for you,” he said simply, reaching down and lifting a box from somewhere.
She frowned, and angled her head so that she could see off the table.
It was then that she realized he was still wearing his jeans.
Her clothes were bunched about her. Their desperation hadn’t allowed them time to undress.
“Here.” He held the small velvet box out and on instinct her fingers took it. She lifted the lid and stared in confusion at the gorgeous ring inside. It was a sapphire, surrounded by diamonds. And it was stunning.
“What is this?” She said, finally, her heart hammering and her mind swimming.
“I am not proposing. At least, not properly.” He linked his fingers through hers.
“I got everything wrong last night. So I am going to try again.” He squeezed her hand.
“What we just did … how we make each other feel … it is beyond explaining. It just is. A fact of life, as incontrovertible as gravity or the seasons.” He reached down and tapped a kiss against her cheek.
He dragged his lips to hers and then whispered straight into her mouth: “I love you. I am in love with you. And I cherish you.” He lifted his head a little higher, so that her eyes could see his and read the sincerity there.
His voice though was gravelly. “I want to cherish you for the rest of your life. I know, beyond a doubt, that you and I have everything we need to make a success of life together. More than that, right now, I feel that same weight on my chest you described. Life without you has been intolerable. I want to marry you. I want to have a family with you. I want to live together until we are old and grey and still sailing the ocean and staring up at the skies. I want to be your husband; and I want to be your friend in a way I wasn’t when you needed me most.”
The color had drained from her face. The ring felt heavy in her fingers, but the doubts that had plagued her were drifting away, like icebergs in the far-off distance. “I’m … I’m not even divorced …”
“I know.” He pressed a kiss to her hand.
“This is why I am not really proposing now. I also know that you have found a job you love, and that you do not want to be distracted from that. I admire your commitment and part of my promise to you is that I will support you completely. You have never found a way to work, and I know how important work can be to one’s sense of self.
Saphire, I ask only to be allowed to travel beside you. I do not wish to hijack your train.”
He took the ring from her and slowly he glided it onto her finger. Saphire let him; perhaps it was shock that rendered her momentarily mute.
“You have brought me to life. I never knew I wasn’t living until I met you. I never knew that everything else was stupid and redundant. This is all that matters.”
His words were swirling through her brain, filling her with relief and happiness. He was staring at her, silently begging her to respond. And so she nodded. Her words were thick with emotion. “I know.”
“You know?” His eyes scanned her face; hope sprung through him. “What does that mean?”
She twirled the ring around her finger; it was a perfect fit. “It means that I love you.” She bit down on her lip, but the smile was breaking through. “It means that I want to be with you. It means that I need you. As a lover, and as a friend.”
“And one day a husband.”
Her smile was radiant. “One day.”
“And every day until then and after will feel just as magical as this day, because all that matters is that I have you with me.”
She nodded slowly. It was all so perfect but already the practicalities of making it work were sinking in. “I need to be in Rome …”
“And I will be here with you. I can travel and work from anywhere. You are my priority, Saphire. You. You beautiful, wild, wonderful, sexy, funny woman. I love you.”
“You don’t know how good it feels to hear you say that …”
“I love you,” he said simply and she knew, without an inkling of doubt, that he was telling the absolute truth. Their love wasn’t a matter of perspective, nor was it a question of opinion. It was a fact. It was a truth. And it was for keeps.