13. CHAPTER 13 #3
Kneeling, Zayne placed his hand over the earth.
It fit perfectly against his palm. “It’s a miracle we’ve lasted this long.
” He paused, considering what the Phaedra wanted to hear.
“The Followers are a risk to our species. The Phaedras saved us from a damned world. That’s what you’re trying to tell me. ”
The Phaedra stood up and reached out his hand to Zayne, glowing with the sun. “Our world needs a god to protect us, guide us, love us. I'll hold us all in my palm and lead us into perfection. I'll choose the best path, no matter the suffering.”
Zayne couldn’t look away. Jaw slackened, he didn’t feel in control of anything, even his body. His mind.
“Who can be the judge of God, Zayne? Who can know his suffering? Every God ever worshiped so loved his people that he slaughtered his own creation in floods and famine and plagues.” His voice lowered. “In mighty wars.”
Images of his dead soldiers blurred the Phaedra’s face. He was exhausted, living under surveillance and staying on guard without rest. Worst of all, decoding these convoluted conversations. The lingering effects of Dr. Cooper's drugs set him on edge.
“I don’t know what you want from me,” Zayne said.
“More than you can see right now.”
The Phaedra took his face into his hands, tugging him close. He eased his cheek along Zayne’s until his mouth brushed his ear.
Long fingers slithered beneath Zayne’s collarbone to his scar from reprogramming, where the pain never left.
The dome closed in on him.
“I raised you from the dead,” the Phaedra said. “You were reborn, the same as our world. You can do this, my son. I made sure of that.”
Buzzing scratched at his thoughts.
“I fix broken things.”
“You showed me mercy,” Zayne said. In a warped way, he believed his words, even knowing they were cruel lies. The Phaedra spared his life when he was a boy, but at the cost of something dearer.
“Because of who you are. That’s why, Zayne. I’ve always seen that you’re special. And you’ve made me proud. So now, you must accept the responsibility you were born with, as I have, to ensure the empire always reigns. Our hope lies in unity.”
The space between them blurred, the end of one and the beginning of another imperceptible. The Phaedra's words crept into Zayne’s soul, like smoke seeping through the cracks, tarnishing everything it touched.
Pain. Rage. Compressed into a tiny space deep within himself that he needed to hide at all costs.
A black hole inside eating away at his soul.
He floated weightless in Dr. Cooper's tank as a boy waiting until he met his end.
No sight. No sound. No feel. Nothing. Pure nothing.
Not even his own mind. Only the rippling waters of the black hole.
He didn’t feel well. It was a memory from his childhood. One that inflated into a myth in his mind. He couldn’t allow it to control him. The Phaedra hadn’t stopped speaking. His words rolled around in Zayne’s mind even when he wasn’t listening. There was no escape.
“The people who come after us will judge us from their place of peace,” the Phaedra said.
“They won’t understand that the blood shed today paved the way for their prosperity.
That’s why you shouldn’t trust yourself with the girl.
We’re human, son. It takes the right person at the right time, and you’ll sacrifice everything for them.
It’s our greatest strength and weakness. ”
“I’ve sacrificed people before. I know how to do this.” Get out of his head. He wanted to scream it at the Phaedra.
“Oh, Zayne.” The Phaedra simpered as though he pitied him.
“You never learn how to sacrifice a person. Every single time is like the first when they’re close enough to touch.
To look into their eyes. To see their soul.
Kira Stiles is not the first person you’ve sacrificed for the empire.
She won’t be the last. But she will be the one who prepares you for this next season of sacrifice. ”
Pain clenched his heart. “The end of the war.”
“The beginning of peace. Everyone who calls on my name to be saved will have the chance at life as my child. Those who don’t will perish, not to punish them but to cleanse our empire. To prepare the way for redemption.”
His mouth was too dry to swallow. “A sacrifice.” A film of war played through Zayne’s mind with such speed that it left him dizzy.
Gray fingers.
“Yes,” the Phaedra said. “A blood sacrifice.”
Red puddles.
When the war ended, The Phaedra would cast judgment upon the territories to make sure they never rose against him again.
He'd strip them of all their defenses and slaughter anyone who dared not obey.
The people would be at his mercy. He followed the lead of the Old World, when they abandoned everyone on Earth and destroyed their knowledge, leaving the PXI to keep them from rising.
The Phaedra planned to do the same to the territories by taking the more advanced technology from the oceanic colonies.
Zayne had to stop him.
And to do that, he needed to say something.
Right now. He needed to play along, keep his place in this world, and fight the Phaedra from within his own regime.
That was why he was doing this, right? Because it was the right thing?
Not because the Phaedra had such control over him that he couldn’t do anything but serve him.
It didn’t matter. He just needed to get out of here and back to Kira.
“I'm honored to sacrifice in the name of unity, my Phaedra,” Zayne said.
“Tame your heart and wield it with the wisdom of a man chosen by God. That is our mandate. Your mandate as my chosen son.” His thumb caressed Zayne’s cheek. “Accept your responsibility, even if it means sacrificing your humanity.”
“Yes, Phaedra.”
A sad smile twisted the emperor's lips now. “That means you must let Kira in, no matter how hard it may be, and trust that you can withstand the pain of sacrificing her. Go back to her. She needs you right now.”
That was the real message the Phaedra wanted to leave him with. All of this had been to weaken and disorient Zayne, so this decree landed deeply within him. Why did the Phaedra care so much about manipulating Kira? Was it all to test Zayne and force him to lose his last shred of humanity?
The Phaedra kissed his face, slow and soft. Every muscle in Zayne’s body tensed. The fear he’d felt at fourteen when he defied the Phaedra took hold of him. He’d never outrun it.
“I’ve ordained your steps, my son.” The Phaedra’s lips tickled his skin. “Go into the world in peace. Everlasting peace, such that only blood can buy.”