24. CHAPTER 24
Miya
The Territories
Archai, Caspador
The python wrapped around Miya's body still, wringing her neck, but when she clutched her throat, she only touched skin.
Coughing and wheezing for breath, she jerked forward to sit up but steely arms locked her in place.
The colors in the room bled into one another. The captain’s face shifted into focus.
Screams erupted from her strangled throat as a hiss, not just because of her swollen vocal cords or her lungs yearning for air. Because the danger hadn’t subsided. Because she was terrified, and now she felt it.
“There, there,” the captain said, cradling her. “It’s not as bad as it seems.” His chin rested on top of her head. “I won’t have to do that again, will I?”
Miya dared not speak. He'd stolen her voice right from her body. The pressure built, greater than when he’d strangled her. No escaping this. No fighting him off. Even if she returned home to her father, the captain would come for her there, just like every other Moress.
What would he do to them? Could Miya look the other way while he killed her entire family and terrorized her kingdom? Never.
“When you return to Krowe’s, you’ll have an excuse for your absence now. Tell everyone you were attacked at the market. But tell the fool the truth.” The captain ran his fingers through her hair, catching on a tangle. “Lance will think, ‘Poor, Miya. Who will protect her?'”
She bit her tongue to keep from speaking. This monster. If Miya ran, she'd never give him what he deserved.
“Bale will be worth something once he has a stake in the mines. Rafferty can be the first to strike a deal with him. It’s a compelling opportunity for your boss. Go with Lance to his people and close the deal with Bale. Keep in contact with him. That’s all I ask of you.”
“What will you do with Lance?” Her voice rasped. Pain cut through her throat.
“What do you care?”
Her heart never forgot the agony of losing her mother, then her innocence, and with it, her hope. No matter what happened, she couldn’t help him do that to another person. She had to stop him.
Could he feel her heart storming in her chest? Miya gazed up at him, not attempting to hide the fear making her skin prickle. He liked her terror. Craved it. “Aiden is weak. I can get him to do anything. I can get anyone at Rafferty to do anything.”
“Do you think you can work me?”
He shoved her onto the ground, and she rolled onto her stomach, pain crashing over her shoulder and down her back. She stared at the worn leather of his black boots.
He'd always win in a power struggle. She had to use his ego and penchant for flattery to dig her way into his heart. To outmaneuver him.
“Don't try your charms on me again, woman.”
Miya bit the inside of her cheek. Every single breath hurt so bad. He nearly killed her, and she doubted he cared.
“Your handler will be here soon.” The captain lifted her to her knees and tousled her hair. “Let's fix you up.”
Her fist curled to hit him.
Fighting always made it worse. She forced her hands to relax.
Whatever she did from here on out, it didn’t make her stronger one way or another.
People thought a person with dignity wouldn’t go down without trying to rip a man to shreds.
She wasn’t the one without dignity. It was the captain.
No matter what she did, that was on him.
The judgment still pounded as a throbbing headache in her temples even though no one was watching. Her pride told her to destroy him while her heart screamed to flee.
What she wanted lay somewhere between the two, because even if it was okay for Miya to save herself, to leave her family and kingdom, she didn't want to. And she didn't want this captain, who looked down on her and Lance, to get away with discarding his life so easily.
Miya could do this. She could stay and continue working on the captain. She told herself this was no different than all the other times, and she was right. Today was the same.
She was slipping away from her body. Iciness spread from her soul and numbed everything until she didn’t hurt anymore. Her core, the little piece of her that was even more her than her mind and body, had fled. A hollow corpse remained under his control.
Miya's body begged for sleep, but she plastered her hands to his chest instead. “I'll do whatever you want.”
The captain looked drunk on his power and her capitulation.
Drink up, bitch. Guzzle every last drop.
Miya was going to tear him to shreds because while she recognized his threat, he saw her as nothing more than a pretty tool.
“I'm sorry I panicked and failed you. I'll be better next time.”
Those violent hands slid over the back of her head, and his voice softened. “I know you will.” Eyes falling to her throat, he sighed. “We'll need to wait for that lovely diamond. You'll heal, and this will be a bad memory.”
Miya nodded. Once again unable to release the screams inside of her even though his hand left her throat. “I just got scared.”
“Now you know to trust me.”
His arms wrapped around her like chains minutes ago but now held her tenderly. Nausea rocked her stomach.
“There, there,” he whispered.
Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him.
Her hurt arm ached, so she only wrapped the other around him.
Years of pain she’d been too afraid to feel consumed her.
Too much pain for tears, words, anything to hold and carry away.
Saying yes, saying nothing at all, letting them believe, even letting herself believe, she was okay with it all.
That was the best way to keep from feeling this.
Even after choosing this work, it had always been dancing around power plays and trying to survive. Never a real choice.
She never would have chosen this life.
When the time came, she’d put him in his rightful place and watch him beg for mercy.
No matter what she did, whether she ran or sought revenge, whether she took back her power or withered away alone in hiding, nothing could ever change what the captain and every man before her had done.
It couldn’t make it hurt less. Couldn’t make her a better or worse person.
This was on them and anyone who enabled them.
It wasn't Miya’s responsibility to evolve into a woman so powerful she could overshadow any evil committed against her.
Whether Miya broke or conquered, she was worth the same either way. And the captain…
He was nothing.
Fucking nothing.
Miya would beat him down until he knew that.
She was not running. Not now.
Miya fell against the towering steel gates of the Krowe estate.
After Aiden showed up an hour late, the captain was so angry that he bashed him in the face with his gun.
He handed her money and told her to return to Krowe's after that, satisfied that Miya saw him reduce her handler to a sniveling heap of sobs.
Three days had passed since she fled down this drive.
After the attack the day before, she paid for a ride to get as close to the estate as the driver would take her and struggled not to drift off while searching for another.
Krowe lived far enough in the country that the impatient city drivers balked at traveling so far.
Miya was exhausted. Too afraid to sleep even if she wasn't worried about waiting to see a doctor. She would have rested on the stone drive, but she knew she wouldn’t get back up once she lay down.
A stout form scuttled down the snow-dusted drive in the darkness. “We looked everywhere for you,” the headmistress said.
She unlocked the gates and together they both pushed them open. Miya nearly fell.
“What happened to you?” The older woman wrapped her arm around her.
Miya didn’t have the strength to attempt a show. “There was a man at the market…” She staggered toward the house with the help of the headmistress. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You’re here now. We’ll figure out everything inside where it’s warm.”
Long legs appeared in her vision, illuminated by the light of the expansive front porch. Lance stood at the entrance of the house. In the darkness, his face was a blur, but she recognized his broad shoulders and how he slouched. Hadn’t anyone ever told him to stand up straight?
It was too late for Miya. Too late for Rafferty, for her family, for Bale.
But it might not be too late for Lance. Surely the captain didn’t care about him enough to spend time searching.
Miya couldn’t say anything with him surveilling the estate.
She’d have to find another way to get Lance to leave.
An image of her mother filled her mind. How Miya had always seen in her eyes what she dared not say. Staring at Lance now, she willed him to hear her. Soundlessly, like her mother, she screamed for him to run.
Instead, he came to her. Her heart sank.
For all the awful things Miya had done in her life, she’d never gotten an innocent person killed. If she knew the truth about Lance, she never would have wormed her way into his heart. No wonder the captain didn't tell her but fooled her into winning this man's loyalty through manipulation.
They met at the stairs where the glow of the lights edging the porch highlighted the concerned lines of his expression.
Run.
Miya bit down until her jaw ached, begging him to see what she couldn’t say.
Run!
Calloused fingertips gently trailed where bruises darkened her neck. The hands of a laborer. The captain told the truth.
Lance hadn’t chosen this life, just as Miya hadn’t.
“I’ll call the doctor.” The headmistress rushed up the stairs. “Ensure she makes it in, Mr. Krowe.”
As soon as the other woman cleared earshot, Lance rasped a whisper. “Was it him?”
“The captain said I had to come back.” Her voice sounded so hoarse. “He said he’d kill me if you talked.”
His expression darkened, as though a shadow had fallen over the outdoor lights. “Come on.” Lance reached for her legs.
“I’m fine—”
“When I disappear and get strangled, you can help me.” He waited, eyes pained. “Miya.”
She nodded.
He placed his hand on her back as he slid his arm beneath her legs and lifted her. “You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
Miya was so tired. His embrace felt sturdy.
Safe. Despite her impulse to reject his help, she let her head fall against his chest, her muscles unwinding.
She didn’t have any more fight left in her.
In her mind’s eye, she saw the captain and felt his hand crushing her throat, orchestrating their every move.
“Your side,” she whispered, noticing him wince.
“It's not bad.”
But it still hurt.
In his room, Lance lowered her to his bed, where days ago everything had been different. He hung close, close enough for her to feel him. Not his touch, but his nearness and heat. The captain’s presence felt hard and tense. Aiden suffocated her. Lance was warm and harmless.
Comfort she hadn’t expected softened her chest and quickly hardened into pain. Lance wouldn’t try to hurt her, but that almost scared her more, and to imagine what she may do to him. Miya shifted away from him.
He sat back on his knees, creating distance. “We’ll get a doctor for you.”
“You look terrible. Get the doctor for yourself.”
A grin cracked the anger in his expression. “Don’t worry. This is just how I look.”
The chuckle caught in her chest. This would go the captain’s way. Already was.
His stare fell to her swollen wrist, imprinted with the captain’s hand. Anger filled his kind eyes. “Miya—”
“I'll be okay.”
“I'm sorry I held you down. I panicked.”
Pain and fear and bitterness melted with her softening heart. “No. That's not the same thing. I attacked you.”
“If I'd handled it better, you wouldn't have run. I'm no threat to you. I swear it on my life. I won’t tell anyone about you. You have my word.”
Lance was too sweet for war. She had to protect him from the captain, but she couldn't even protect herself. “What if I can’t be your ally? What if I’m your enemy?”
He shrugged. “Guess that’ll be pretty bad for me.”
Miya lacked the energy, but she smacked the side of his head with her good hand. “What’s wrong with you? You’re lucky you haven’t gotten yourself killed thinking like that.”
Lance placed her hand on the bed. “It might take all night to tell you what’s wrong with me.”
Tears threatened. She begged him to see the message she couldn’t speak. Run already. “You’re the biggest fool I know, Lance.”
A lopsided smile lifted one side of his mouth. “That sounds like a serious achievement.”
Fresh anxiety crept over her at the easy way he spoke. “Why didn't you at least tell me you're Bale's bond worker?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “There's good people back home. Bringing up Bale leads to them.”
That was who he was, too. A good, normal person who should be back home. And she'd manipulated him. Guilt stifled her words. “If you're doing this because—”
“I'm doing this because I can. A man like me doesn’t get too many decisions, so when I do, I make the right one. You’re a good person.”
“I’m not a good person.”
“You'd do the same for me. I believe that.”
“Damn it, Lance.” Miya covered her eyes with her forearm. “You infuriate me.”
“Good. The fury will keep you awake until the doctor comes.” He reached into his nightstand and fetched his handgun. This time, he loaded it and settled on the floor next to the door. “I won’t ask you about it, but I want to listen if you want to tell me.”
Miya pulled the blankets over her head.
She’d been born with everything, and look at her now.
For years, Miya had every opportunity to return home but did this instead.
She'd left for a reason, and she hated her father too much to live in his palace while his people starved and fell deeper into the Phaedra's oppression.
But what kind of person kept fucking people for information when they could return to a literal palace?
Since she wanted to fight the captain and couldn't right now, she fought herself. She recognized that. But it didn't lessen the shame. Miya asked Lance what was wrong with him when she’d never been able to answer that question about herself.
Before, earning the captain's trust gave her a chance at surviving this situation and possibly helping Caspador. That was all it was. Now, things had to be different. Now, she needed to figure out how to save her family. And then, if she could defeat him, she’d finally take off to some place far away from Caspador and never look back.