25. CHAPTER 25 #2
“And what then? When the empire has burned, what will you do to protect your child?” The depth in his eyes took her aback.
“The Rivens are the empire. When it burns, we burn.
You don't know cruelty if you believe handing over Zayne for reprogramming was the worst thing I could do to him.
It bought him a lifetime. It prepared him to survive the north.
To survive the cost of being born my son.
But you're right. It's unforgivable. May Zayne do better than I have.”
The way he justified it almost silenced her. Almost. “There's still time for you to do better.”
One large step closer that cast his shadow over Kira. Her lungs seized. “Learn to listen to your fear, or you'll understand true suffering and sacrifice. You'll force my son to once again revisit that age-old companion. And I do not care for anyone who hurts my son.”
Kira's eyes widened.
“Zayne is going to kill you if we tell him to. It'll haunt him forever.” Ice froze and shattered all else he showed her during this conversation. “You'll save no one and will die a miserable death learning just how powerless you really are.”
Rising back to his full height, he looked down on her.
“I don't relish that reality, but I've learned its truth. Goodbye, Ms. Stiles. May you find as much wisdom as you have conviction.”
Kira stole in a shuddering breath.
She'd made a terrible mistake talking to this man.
In the evening, Kira sat with Adelle in a dining room so large and full of such exquisite decor that it felt painfully empty with only the two of them here.
Though Kira only saw the High General this once in the afternoon, he did come home many nights.
She just never encountered him. Late at night, Adelle disappeared upstairs, and a few times, Kira heard the low tone of a male voice.
There were several entrances to the large estate, so he likely used a more private one to avoid her.
Still, Adelle must feel lonely being on her own all day. Did she stay for Kira, or did she always spend this much time at home? It felt like Kira was not the only one under house arrest.
“Are you okay?” Adelle watched her. Already, Kira had become accustomed to that sweet voice of hers and the comfort it brought.
She nodded.
“I hope my husband didn't scare you. He didn't want me around when he talked to you.” Her brows pinched while she cut the grilled chicken on her plate. “I tried to keep an eye from inside the house.”
How did Adelle stand living with such a man?
“You can talk openly with me,” Adelle said. “I live in a house of complicated emotions.”
“You really do.” Kira looked up at her. “Are you happy?”
That wasn't the question she expected to ask first, but she realized it was what she wanted to know most. The thought of Adelle suffering in silence hurt too badly to consider.
“Happiness might be as complicated as my family.” The quiet chuckle didn't sound sad, but rather full of wisdom. “I'm happy, and I'm not, like everyone. There's a great deal in my life that I love and a great deal I do not.”
This bordered on the kind of conversation Zayne warned her to avoid indoors. As if noticing the anxiety tensing her body, Adelle lowered her voice.
“Did my son tell you to be careful what you say inside?”
Her heart picked up. She didn't confirm anything but just stared.
“He's very cautious. Very protective.” With a sigh, Adelle put down her silverware. “So is my husband. There's no recording devices in the house. Brandon ensures that.”
“Then why—”
“Because Zayne gets scared, too. Even if he doesn't show it the way we do.”
The smaller hands scratching at the glass of Dr. Cooper's tank cut into her heart. “I'm starting to see that.”
“With the biggest things, we'll listen to him, but it's safe to talk to me here. You might be surprised at how much Brandon knows about me.”
He knew compromising information about his wife. Zayne and Adelle clearly carried dangerous secrets, but did the High General as well? For her entire life, Kira assumed the Rivens to not just be the most powerful family in the empire, but the most loyal and devoted too.
They appeared that way in every regard.
At least until moving into their house.
“I'm full.” Adelle stretched. “Let's walk before we lose our daylight, and it gets cold.”
Together, they cleared the table and then walked down the hallway toward the sliding glass door. Adelle paused at the pictures lining the wall, touching her finger to the round cheeks of her daughter when she was a toddler.
“I never had enough time with them at home before the Phaedra took them.” A step forward, and she looked at a picture of all three children.
Kira stared at Zayne, searching for the man she knew in the young gray-blue eyes.
The brothers each held one of their sister's hands, the three walking down a woodsy path Kira recognized.
Andi, possibly three in the picture, smiled widely at the camera with her eyes sparkling.
Zayne didn't smile, but he didn't frown either.
He looked like he might have been around ten.
That meant five years at the Academy learning all the things that mattered to the empire, like reading, writing, arithmetic, and killing effectively.
Luke towered over them both, a teenager who already wore his father's eyes. But he did smile softly, and to her surprise, looked at his brother.
“I never forgot to love those moments,” Adelle whispered, longing eyes on her three children. “I knew what was coming.”
Young fingers clawing at the tank.
Hard eyes staring into Kira's, promising to hurt her.
The weapon on Zayne's hip that looked like he'd been born to wield it.
Snake tattoos twisting around his shoulders.
Scars.
All that she'd seen of Zayne flashed through her mind, and Kira reached for Adelle's hand, squeezing it when the older woman accepted hers.
“I waited until they went to the academy to have another child each time. Those five years at home, they were my sole focus. Five precious years for each baby.” Adelle smiled. “I'm happy. And I'm very sad.”
Kira only held on tighter. She understood.
When they walked past the rest of the pictures, she couldn't bring herself to look too closely at those kids on the walls, unable to reconcile them with the soldiers who took their place.
“The Phaedra pressured us to have more children.
You can never produce too many candidates for High General, especially when soldiers die in war.
After Andi went to the academy, and Luke prepared to leave for the territories, we falsified medical documents to pretend I wasn't able to have more children.
I knew I couldn't send another one away, especially not with the boys growing up enough for real combat.”
“None of that should be the Phaedra's business.”
“Luke's girls will never join the military. What about Zayne and Andi? It's dangerous to have children.”
“You're worried about Zayne being in the territories right now.”
Adelle rubbed her face. “He almost died again. So many of them did die in Bluehaven.”
Still holding Adelle's hand, she rubbed her thumb along the back of hers.
Outside, the fresh smell of approaching spring settled peace over the tender places of her soul. No words alleviated the fear of a mother with children at war, so Kira didn't speak. She walked beside her for a long time.
“I feel happy and sad too,” Kira said belatedly. “All the time.”
“You're a kindred spirit. I think we were born to meet.”
The phrasing stilled Kira's heart, and she turned her head, wondering if it was only in her mind. The Followers always said they were born to meet. But Adelle nodded before Kira could even parse the moment.
“Yes,” she said.
A follower. Did Zayne know? What about Luke or the High General?
Soon, they walked down close enough to see the water, and Kira's mind raced with this new information. The Phaedra hunted the Followers. It was the entire reason he held Kira in captivity.
But Adelle Riven was one?
“Zayne?” Kira whispered. “He knows?”
“He does. My other children don't, though they understand the need to protect me. They're smart, and while they never ask questions, probably don't think I'd go so far, they realize I struggle with this life.”